Not your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers…
I'm sure this won't come as a surprise, but Grandpa-Donk is what they call a "Donk of all trades". At one point in his legendary life, the venerable jackass even tried his hoof as a weatherman. In fact, he was one of the first weatherdonks on television back in the '50s.
When I was just a little donkus, no bigger than Trevor Bauer's poodle, Gramps would gather all us youngins round and tell us about his days of Hollywood stardom. The weather forecasting tools back in his time were just as primitive as the are now, so he was frequently way off on his prognostications. But he always delivered his forecast with the classic family wit, mixing in his token skyarrhea toilet humor and even the occasional dong joke, which was very risque back in his day. Grandonkey would always finish his meteorology tales with one bit of sage advice, "Find an occupation where you can be wrong 90% of the time and people still come back for more".
Writing the Top 100 Starting Pitchers post in 2019: the year of the juiciest of juiced balls, and baseballs, I imagine is exactly like being a weatherdonkey. Just other day, when The Kooch was getting lit up for the 17th consecutive outing, G-Donk called me up to tell me how proud he was that I had discovered my niche. Actually, he called to ask where he might find a fresh pair of Señor Crappers, but I could sense the pride in his voice.
The only thing we know about 2019 Starting Pitching is there's going to be lots of rainy days with a few random sunny days mixed in, followed by a tornado which will destroy what's left of your already fugly ratios. Your 2019 fantasy pitching staff is more or less going to be Seattle with a little bit of Kansas, but we're all living there in rainy tornado alley with you; so quit your whining and grab an umbrella!
Speaking of umbrellas, Mike Minor has provided a pleasant refugee from the storms this season, and he's only become sturdier as the summer monsoons set in, sporting a 1.70 ERA and 0.97 WHIP in 37 June innings. Unfortunately, there's some large red regression fairies lurking here, the first of which is a massive and unsustainable 97.5% strand rate over this past month. Pair that with a lucky .200 June BABIP, and Donkey begins running for new shelter. I'd aggressively shop Minor if someone in your league thinks he's actually a top 20 pitcher, but I wouldn't sell him for
a cup of Grey's baby gravy. I'll take a guy that might continue getting lucky over a cup of Grey goo any day.
Welcome back to the weekend DFSers! We have another massive 14-game slate on FanDuel, with everyone playing except for the Yankees and Red Sox, who are shipping off to London. Pitching is a little on the light side today, with Jacob deGrom and his tough match-up with the Braves being the most expensive pitcher on the slate at $11,500. There are some really awesome hitting match-ups today, so I'm more likely to pay down a little at pitcher in order to fit in the big bats. That's why I'm locking in
Merrill Kelly ($8,600) as my starting pitcher. In five starts since a rough start in Coors on May 28th, Kelly has gone 34.1 innings pitched, while allowing just nine runs and striking out 32. More importantly, Merrill Kelly faces the Giants, who have the fourth-worst wRC+ against right-handed pitching for the season. In addition, this game will be played in Oracle Park, giving Kelly a park upgrade as well. Let's take a look at what paying down at pitcher on FanDuel can get us.
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!
Sometimes a FanDuel slate is straightforward. There's a Dodger pitcher, pitching at home, with a 1.26 ERA this year? Sign me up!
Hyun-Jin Ryu ($10,600) is the man this year. He's 9-1 with a 1.26 ERA and .82 WHIP this year. If the season ended today he would be the NL Cy Young award winner. He has a 0.45 ERA in June and a 0.87 ERA at home. He very well might throw a complete game shutout today. Now on the rest of the picks.
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!
Not your Grandfather's Top 100 Starting Pitchers...
You're at the local grocer staring at a shelf in the cereal aisle, wishing you were watching baseball and/or Naked and Afraid. Perched next to each other on the shelf are a $4.00 box of Cocoa Puffs and a $2.00 box of Choco Spheres. Do you choose the known quantity name brand or take a gamble on those mysterious spheres at half price? It was always an easy choice for frugal old Grandpa-Donk, he didn't build his fortune of Donkey-units by purchasing the luxury orbs of chocolate. To this day Gramps would poop himself if we ever brought home a box of Depend's Diapers. It's Señor Crapper's or nothing for the old timer.
No Doubt
| Player |
Team |
Opponent 1 |
Opponent 2 |
| Justin Verlander |
HOU |
@CIN |
@NYY |
| Clayton Kershaw |
LAD |
SF |
COL |
| Jose Berrios |
MIN |
BOS |
@KC |
| Jacob deGrom |
NYM |
@ATL |
@CHC |
In the last 15 months, Justin Verlander has married Kate Upton, had a baby girl, and is leading the player rater among pitchers. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not your Grandfathers Top 100 Starting Pitchers…
These baseballs are juicy. Juicier than
Grandpa-Donk's drawers the first time he visited Méjico. The juicy balls are causing some major volatility among our starting pitcher ranks this year. Few pitchers are exempt from the pitcherocalypse. Carlos Carrasco has suffered from severe constipation each of his last three outings, Tyler Bauer ate some questionable China-Buffet during May, and Patrick Corbin's Gatorade was spiked with laxatives in Cincinnati this past Friday. Even the mythical Yusei "The Kooch" Kikuchi has required adult diapers for his two recent explosions.
As the driver of the Kikuchi Razzwagon, I do apologize for crashing us into a Porta-John these past two weeks. There's been talk of The Kooch tipping his pitches; I like the narrative, it makes me feel a little better, but I'm not sure it's true. His command was flat out awful in those two blow ups, as hitters teed off on his hanging off speed pitches. It was also his third time facing the A's and second time facing the Angels; his funk may suffer from the law of diminishing fantasy returns once teams have gotten a good look.
Regardless, I can't blame anyone for moving on in 10-12 teamers, but I might give a reach around thru this buy-window in deeper leagues.
Is that a buy-window or a guillotine? Just leave me alone random italicized voice! The Kooch is a crafty veteran who will benefit from some extra rest this week, a trip to the laundromat, and a heavy dose of prune juice. Don't be surprised if there's another dominant run in store as we get the Kikuchi Razzwagon back up running, and deodorized, this summer.
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This weekend Jay Bruce was traded to the Phillies, because, as the front office in Philly put it, "We're sick of our autocorrect writing Bruce Harper. Now we write Bruce Harper and rather than backspacing we can just continue on and we've typed out two-thirds of our outfield. Next we have to try to get Michael Chavis, for our issue with the autocorrect Michael Franco." Guys and five girl readers, the Phillies have a plan! This move also kills two birds with one stone since now Bryce Harper will look so much better by comparison. Before, "Man, Bryce stinks." After, "Man, Bruce stinks." Autocorrect and by comparison -- done and done! This likely puts David Herrera's time all but done on the Phils and maybe baseball until the Astros take a chance on him. Yes, Odubel's real name is David, which is now what we, like the cops, call him. As for Bruce, this is a boost up for him, due to park and lineup. Now he's a 30-homer hitter with a .225 average and better runs and RBIs. Can I get a middle-case yay? Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Not your Grandfathers Top 100 Starting Pitchers…
Grandpa-Donk handled a lot of wood back in his day, if you know what I’m saying. Not that kind of wood! Alright, maybe that kind of wood, it was the 60's and from what I understand the donkey world was pretty open-minded back then. But the way G-Donk tells it, his hobby of woodworking accounted for the majority of his wood handling back in the day. The old donk enjoyed taking very rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber and smoothing them out into much less rough pieces of phallic shaped lumber. Because it was such intensive and sweaty work, he typically handled the wood shirtless with help from his completely platonic friend Jimmy.
I always think of these stories of my gramps and his very heterosexual buddy handling that rough wood together when I hear the name of my lede for this week's top 100: Brandon Woodruff. Brandon had a rough start to his 2019 campaign himself, but has begun to mold his season into a masterpiece that would make even Grandpa-Donk and sweaty Jimmy proud. After a seemingly unlucky April, Woodruff has been silky smooth since the calendar turned to May, sporting a 1.55 ERA and a 0.92 WHIP with 29 strikeouts across 25 innings. Impressively, 11 of those innings came in his home hitter haven Miller Park against the Mets and Nationals, while the other 14 innings were tossed in scary road starts against potent Philadelphia and Atlanta squads! I don't think he's a sub 2.00 ERA pitcher, but this dude is smoothing out penis-shaped timber with the best of them at the moment. Woodruff has thrust himself a full 30 spots higher in my rankings this week, all the way up to #42.
Here are a few other guys who have been smoothing and thrusting lately...
Not your Grandfathers top 100 starting pitchers...
It's been a rough month for Grandpa-Donk. The old Donk isn't supposed to be climbing ladders in his advanced age of 90, but the garage roof needed to be tarred and he felt he was the only donkey for such an urgent task. You guessed it, gramps fell off the garage roof, but somehow he escaped with only a broken wrist. A couple weeks later, while in a cast, G-Donk decided to use that same hoof to hammer some nails into his barn. This resulted in a second trip to the veterinarian for the stubborn old jackass.
Clayton Kershaw reminds me a little of Grandpa-Donk. I mean, minus the senility, reckless abandon, and tail. Kershaw suffers from a herniated disc in his lumbar spine (lower back). While I'm not a doctor, I have been called "Dr. Donkey" several times; and I think that's qualification enough for me to assert that, while the symptoms may subside, a disc herniation will not heal without surgery. Mr. Kershaw has had no back surgeries.
All of this is to say, I trust Clayton Kershaw to stay healthy about as far as I can throw him. Which isn't far, because I'm a donkey, I can't throw anything. While Kershaw has looked very good so far this season, and I do have him ranked at #10, I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before Kershaw finds himself on the shelf for another two month stin,t or worse. If I happened to own him, I'd sell him for any arm in my top 20. You should be able to get a useful piece added on if you're forced to settle for one of those back end top 20 names.
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We gonna talk about Lil' Wayne's favorite baseball player, "Franmil mil mil mil mil…mil mil, a mil." Much to chagrin of the former Padres' outfielder and Missy Elliott's favorite player, "Matt Sczrczrczr," or as she would say, "nac uoy eveileb eh saw reve a gniht Sczrczrczr my skizzard." Franmil Reyes looks like a cross between Kyle Blanks and a vending machine that dispenses steaks. "Damn, I thought this was the crappy hot chocolate vending machine and now I just got charged $54 for a T-bone." That's someone getting a vending machine steak. Yesterday, Franmil Reyes did what he's been known/capable of -- blasting two, loud $54 vending machine T-bones into orbit, ending the night 3-for-4 with his 7th and 8th homer. He's now on pace for 40 homers. Greek chorus, "Who isn't?!" Okay, GC, but Franmil can get to 40 homers, unlike, say, Tommy La Stella. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
No Doubt
| Name |
Team |
Opponent 1 |
Opponent 2 |
| Trevor Bauer |
CLE |
@MIA |
SEA |
| Blake Snell |
TB |
@KC |
@BAL |
| Justin Verlander |
HOU |
@MIN |
@LAA |
| Luis Castillo |
CIN |
@NYM |
SF |
| German Marquez |
COL |
@MIL |
ARZ |
| Patrick Corbin |
WSH |
STL |
@PHI |
Rich Hill getting injured; Khris Davis hitting .247; topping my 3 wood after waiting for a long time on a par 5 approach shot; these guys on the list in your starting lineup. Well Alex, what are things that you have no doubt about? Wager: Suck It Trebek!
Not to be confused with Luis Mendoza (the speedster duck), you can bet that nobody that owns Castillo will be yelling for him to stop any time soon. I don't expect it to happen this week with a visit to the Mets and home for what is more a gentle Giant(s) lineup than a Thanos, world killer Giant(s) lineup. No, there's not a spoiler there. I haven't seen it yet anyway.
If you're curious about how good Luis Castillo has been, he's only given up 2 barrels on the season (2nd best among pitchers, min. 50 batted ball events), 31% hard hit rate is 13th best, 85.1 mph avg. exit velocity is 15th best, and the best swinging strike rate of his career so far on this young season at 14% along with his lowest contact percentage allowed as well.
Not Your Grandfather’s Top 100 Starting Pitchers…
Back when I was just a young Jack, Grandpa-Donk would regale all us little Donks with tales of his extensive world travels. The old donk especially enjoyed visiting Mexico. On his first venture down south of the border, gramps experienced the full wrath of Montezuma's Revenge. His exact words, "Coming out both ends for days". But somehow, after that maiden voyage to the other side of the Rio Grande, G-Donk never again suffered the Hispanic Hershey Squirts.
This reminds me of the curious case of Francellis "Frankie" Montas. Last year Montas started 11 games from the end of May thru October. After posting three quality starts in his first three outings, Montaszuma's Revenge hit abruptly, as Frankie managed only 2 quality starts over the course of his next eight outings. The Runs were plentiful, if you know what I'm saying.
This season Montas has come out with some solid logs. Game logs, I mean. Thru his first four 2019 starts, the one named Francellis has thrown 23 1/3 IP, boasting three quality starts, a 2.70 ERA, 0.94 WHIP, an increased K rate, decreased walk rate, and loads of fiber in his diet. One cause for optimism this go round, is the addition of a nasty splitter to his repertoire this year which opponents are batting a measly .143 against. The splitter complements an elite fastball which is up almost one full mile per hour from last season, now sitting at an average velocity of 96.6 mph, along with an above average slider. Mr. Montaszuma has also been getting ahead of hitters often in the early going with a lofty 63% first pitch strike rate. Make sure Montas isn't available in your league, I can wait.
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