Yesterday, the Pirates called up the Frozen Tundra,
Andrew Lambo. The Pirates should trade Lambo to Milwaukee (Green Bay) for
[player]Yovani Gallardo[/player] (arrr!). Or give Andrew a whistle and call him Coach Lambo-ardi. If you're confused by any of this, you're not alone. Rudy came up with the title and then spent twenty minutes on IM explaining it's football stuff and most people would get it. Only a real man rocks a mustache and knows what a ronde jambe is but not a Lambeau leap. (If football is your bag, there's our
fantasy football section of hazarai.) Lambo's worth discussing because he has big time power -- 31 homers in the minors this year. Lambo mercy, you're so power thirsty. He used to be a top prospect in the Dodgers' farm system, but was suspended in 2010 due to taking hits from the bong, then never really got started in 2011. His playing time with the Pirates is debatable at this point -- he'll play; no, he won't, yes, he will, less filling! At worst, the Pirates should play him against all righties. He's 25 years old, so his upside is limited, but he could be like a Ryan Ludwick-type. I'd definitely take the flyer in just about any league where you need power, and especially in deep-ish keeper leagues. Wouldn't surprise me at all to see him pull a Han Solo and cement himself into the lineup. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
It was a short week, but A Hill O'Beans (My Mustache Has a Mustache - Greys a Biter, says Garner) used those three days to take over first place, dropping That's a Shame (Bold Predictions) down to second. Baseball Cougar (Night of the Living Zombinos) moved up 10 spots to third.
My Mustache has been moving up steadily since June 24th, when they were in 22nd place. They were fortunate to get
[player]Miguel Cabrera[/player] with the second overall pick (Braun went first). Their 4th round choice,
[player]Allen Craig[/player] has combined with Miggy for 173 RBI. They did have to overcome sub-par seasons from their #2
[player]Josh Hamilton[/player] and #5
[player]R.A. Dickey[/player]. Before the season, they traded their #3
[player]Jason Heyward[/player], along with
[player]Alex Cobb[/player] for
[player]Giancarlo Stanton[/player]. Monday, they completed their sixth trade, sending Hamilton and
[player]Joaquin Benoit[/player] for
[player]Stephen Strasburg[/player]. Other deals have brought
[player]Albert Pujols[/player], [player]Aaron Hill[/player], [player]Desmond Jennings[/player] (11 HR/15 SB) and
[player]Starling Marte[/player] (13 SB). Key pickups include
[player]Manny Machado[/player] and
[player]Yasiel Puig[/player].
Check out the
Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.
We've reached it folks, the All-Star break. Though not really the halfway point of the season, it's a good time to assess our teams and start thinking about how to make the final push for championship glory. Use this in tandem with Grey's list of top-100 for the second half. I'm writing this assuming Grey is writing his. While Grey is quite the dependable guy, I don't fully trust that mustache. Shhh. Wait, is it staring at me? Quick, hide! Does it see me? I think it hears us. I'm getting the ef out of here bro. You go left, I'll go right. If I don't ever see you again, let Grey know that Braun has a great line of shavers and trimmers, as stated
here.
Maybe I’m paranoid, but we have to be masters of reality and understand that he won’t be able to continue this wizard-like production. I’m not exactly trying to declare war on [player]Yasiel Puig[/player], but, like any new found glory, it’s all downhill from here. Don’t make me choose my friends over you, Yasiel! He’s truly been a fantasy baseball catalyst, but he has a very low walk rate and his strikeout rate is rising to worrisome levels. He will continue to be hit or miss, although I unfortunately see him missing much more often. Let’s address the giant Sandoval in the room: his .472 BABIP is preparing him for a head on collision. Another factor is that his hip injury has shown that he’s no iron man. I’ll temper expectations a bit by saying that a certain player had a comparable 1.105 OPS last June, only to fall to mediocrity afterwards. Shout out to whoever names that player first. I think Puig will be closer to [player]Mark Trumbo[/player] going forward, which isn’t bad, but isn’t anywhere near what he’s been this year. On a different note, Terse and I will be doing a Reddit AMA tonight at 7pm EST. Y’all should stop by. Anyway, here are some other guys who are putting up somewhat surprising seasons:
So it’s not really the 2nd half mark in the fantasy baseball season, but it’s the All-Star Break so what else are we going to talk about? Hell’s Kitchen? Is it even believable that these people would one day be in charge of a kitchen? There’s Real World castmates who seem like they have their shizz together better than these schmohawks. I like the one guy who shaved his head to tell Gordon, "I'm now ready to get down to business." I'm from Jersey with a beautiful head of hair. If I shaved my head, it wouldn't mean I was 'ready for bidness,' it would mean I had completely lost my mind. The hair on the top of my head is my 2nd best attribute! Hair above my lip is number one. MasterChef, though, that show is the Sistine Chapel of reality shows. Okay, as with all of the other
2013 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade the outfielder for the 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put
[player]Miguel Cabrera[/player] number one on the top 100 list for the second half of 2013 and he could get in a fight with a bartender (not
[player]Tom Wilhelmsen[/player]) tomorrow, then he wouldn’t be number one. See how that works. This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half of their season. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while
[player]Josh Hamilton[/player] did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because he’s healthy to start the 2nd half. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2013. I also liberally used our rest of the season
Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2013:
The night was humid in San Diego. Some fans in the front row brought their own Chardonnay, a mix of floral and fruity notes, which could've also described the crowd's apparel. Tommy Bahama as far as the eye could see. One Padre fan stood up, three glasses of wine in, screaming to let Templeton play. Most of the fans that night were there for a picnic that was billed as 'the best picnic mom's ever packed.' One thing these picnickers never expected was to become a part of history. Whispers amongst the Padre fans began in the 1st inning. "It was going to be a long night." Not because of [player]Tim Lincecum[/player], who began his quest to throw the 700th-something no-hitter in the last ten years. Tonight would drag for these Padre fans because the picnic brie was forgotten at home. Tonight these Padre fans groaned in the first inning because when Lincecum took the mound they thought the game was being preempted for a k.d. lang concert. So, Lincecum wasn't economical in his 148-pitch no-hitter, walking 4 guys and K'ing 13. He's the first pitcher to throw more pitches in a no-hitter than he weighs. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Lincecum doesn't look bad in his peripherals this year. His K-rate and walk rate are pretty close to the numbers he put up when he had a 2.74 ERA in 2011. He didn't make the top 100 for the 2nd half that is coming tomorrow, but I considered it for a long time (about 25 seconds). The unknown right now is whether or not the 148 pitches is going to tire his arm. Obviously, he'll have the All-Star break to rest and I wouldn't be against giving Lincecum a chance on my fantasy team. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Let me see if I got this right about [player]Brett Wallace[/player] (I'm admittedly drunk from an all-day 4th of July BBQ). He's a post-hype-little-less-hype-some-hype-no-hype-hype-what?-hype sleeper. Did that add up? Sometimes I forget to carry the last hype and I was doing it in my head. Wallace arrives with so little hoopla he's poopla. Hang up the decorations, prepare for your friends to come over for a potluck, then everyone shows up late with gluten-free snacks. That's when you say, "What's with all of the poopla?" If I wanted my glutens free, I would've freed them myself! Brett Wallace hit really well down in Triple-A (this last time; and every time really). 11 homers, .326 average and won Triple-A Player of the Month honors, which is like being the world's tallest midget. There's still not a whole lot of proof that Wallace can hit in the majors, but yesterday's 3-for-5 with two homers was a nice step in the right direction. I could see grabbing him in deeper leagues for the chance that he finally figures out a way to transform his minor league success to the majors. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Slocemb If You Got Em (Daily Bases) give us another new leader as they squeak by That's a Shame (Bold Predictions) for a two-tenths of a point margin. Slocemb had a great draft, and still roster 21 of the 25 players they selected, including
[player]Joey Votto [/player](10),
[player]Jose Bautista[/player] (15),
[player]Adam Jones[/player] (34),
[player]Manny Machado[/player] (135),
[player]Jean Segura[/player] (231),
[player]Domonic Brown[/player] (274), and
[player]Shelby Miller[/player] (289). Miller,
[player]Jordan Zimmermann[/player], and
[player]Max Scherzer[/player] anchor a pitching staff that features an ERA of 3.00 and 1.01 WHIP. Check out the
Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.
The Indians had themselves a good ol' fashioned hometown community pow-wow in Chicago yesterday, scoring 29 runs off 33 hits in Friday's double header. The Tribe tallied 19 runs in the first half of the double header, with eight different Indians having multi-hit games including 3-hit games from [player]Asdrubal Cabrera[/player], [player]Yan Gomes[/player] and [player]Mike Aviles[/player]. And as if the ChiSox weren't having a bad enough night, the Injians managed to rally to score four runs in the ninth to win with a walk off home run by [player]Nick Swisher[/player] in the second game. [player]Jason Kipnis[/player] was the real hero going 4-for-7 with four runs, four RBI, four BB and his 18th stolen base. Kip's got a .473 OBP in the past month, which is definitely worthy of a rain dance. Anyway, this is the second time Cleveland had scored 19 runs in a game this season, and they move within two games of first place in the AL Central. Rough night for ChiSox fans, but hey, [player]Jeff Keppinger[/player] (6-for-8, 2 runs, HR, 4 RBI) had a great day, right? Right!? I'm making it worse aren't I? I better take some happy pills quick before the world starts getting dark.
Sigh, well, here's what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
For all you Jersey kids out there, yesterday's game title is, "Holland Tunnels Yanks." For all you Jersey kids out there who have been stuck in traffic in the Holland Tunnel on a hot day, "Holland Dutch Ovens the Yankees." For all of you history nerds, "Holland Takes Back New Amsterdam." By the way, I'd be surprised if I was the first person who thought of this, but I've never heard it before, so here goes: What is New Jersey shaped like? Kid from Kid 'n Play. It is totally rocking the flat-top. Right? Damn, I totally would've failed me a Rorschach test. So
[player]Derek Holland[/player] put two peaches together yesterday and made a plum of a start with the line: 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs and 7 Ks. Holland is what he is, which is a decent 3rd to 4th fantasy starter. The
Stream-o-Nator predicted this beaut. Know why? The Yankees aren't good usually (23rd overall for OPS), but are hideous vs. lefties (27th overall). These aren't your slightly older brother's Yankees. Right now, George Steinbrenner is rolling over in his grave, though that is partially because he was facing Billy Martin. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
You wanted to sell [player]R.A. Dickey[/player], but no one was buying. Seeing last year as a fluke. Said he couldn't do it again. Said you had too much fruit in your tapioca for even drafting him. They told you go fly a kite with Dickey, but not around children or it would be weird. Then Dickey throws a two-hit shutout yesterday with 6 Ks and you showed them that the only good thing that ever came out of being a naysayer is horse whispering. Or did you? Do you know anything more about Dickey than you did two days ago? He says he's been dealing with cold weather and a sore back and he's blaming the WBC. Excuses are like [player]Alcides Escobar[/player], everyone has one and they all smell. Did Dickey's back suddenly clear up? Because he gave up six earned in his last start. Was the weather in his last start cold and Dickey shrunk up? This shutout was against the Rays, who are now 10 for their last 99 against him. They see Dickey and immediately go limp. Finally, your Dickey looks to be pointing in the right direction, but I wouldn't start writing his name on your underpants just yet. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
[player]Ike Davis[/player] could return next weekend. In other words, he's moved one step closer to the plate in Metco. It only took him three months. He reminds me of myself in Little League. I was a solid .300, top of the order-type. People would marvel at how I would never strikeout. More Placido Polanco than Joey Votto, if those guys weren't in Little League themselves at the time. Then I got beaned and I lost my nerve. Started standing five feet off the plate, not even able to reach the inside corner, and would bail out of the batter's box as the pitcher wound up. That led me on a journey of self-discovery through girls, drugs, the falling baseball card market, fro-yo and hip-hop. So, I'm glad to see Ike has figured things out and won't be joining the already overcrowded fantasy baseball blog market. Since there's no mention of Ike being a scared little girl (with respect to our four girl readers), I have no idea why he didn't just move closer to the plate three months ago. But he has now. There's a chance he's just as bad on recall, but I'd absolutely take a flyer on Davis if I had room in any league. A .255 hitter that could hit 20 homers (which he did last year in the 2nd half) in 3 months doesn't grow on trees (except in remote parts of Indonesia). Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
