Before we get this post-Festivus celebration of the back-end of this mock-u-mentiful draft going
, I’d like to pass along a special thanks to our very own Grey Albright and Bryan Curley of
Baseball Professor for setting up this multi-site super exposition of this crazy idea, because I apparently have nothing else to with my time during the off-season. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you can find the
Round 1-5 Recap by clicking on this
linkadink. For the
Round 6-10 Recap, go ahead and marvel at this
linkadink. For the complete results, you can check them out
here. (Dat nineties website design, bro.) So let's go to the jump and get this present unwrapped. HOLIDAY THEMES!
On Dancer! On Prancer! On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Welcome, reader! Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire. You look festive. I love that Rudolph tongue ring, though not as much as I love reading discussion about the new iPhone commercial, Misunderstood. When I first saw it, the first thing I thought was, "How sweet, a baby-faced lesbian has made a video for her much older lesbian girlfriend's family." Only later did I realize it's a teenaged boy and his mom. That's the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it's all about commercialism. The
2014 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away. Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Coco Crisp. Exciting! In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2014 fantasy baseball season. This took me far longer than it probably should’ve. Can’t someone write me a program that sorts all the players by games played at a position? Why do I need to go through every player on every roster? It totally harshes my buzz. I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2014 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m a giver, snitches! Happy Holidays! I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of ten games or more played outside of their primary position. Not FIVE games at a position, not six, definitely not seven. Ten games. 10, the Laurel & Hardy of numbers. So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline). Yes, Christmas came a day early this year. Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. On a different post, I’ll make some comments about some of the players. In the mean’s while, you make comments in these comments. Say that fast 117 times! Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2014 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:
We started this thing like boys and four girls (but, let's be honest, one or two of the girls are kinda manly), and we leave this season as men and four women. In March, we dazzled each other with our drafted lineups in the comments. Today, most of those people are playing
fantasy football,
fantasy basketball or
fantasy hockey and forgetting all about their one-two punch of
[player]Ryan Braun[/player] and
[player]Josh Hamilton[/player], that, in their words, they were just shocked to be able to draft both. Fantasy baseball isn't made for the water cooler like the Breaking Bad finale -- holy crap! -- it's made for the vending machine, because you don't walk away from your team to talk. You rush away to get snacks and run those snacks back to your team, so you can watch as your team accrues stats or just 'a-screws' you. Some of you will sit with your fantasy team's lineup open on your desktop through November like it has been for the last six months, hoping for one more day to save your season. Some of you will just close that team lineup browser window, ripping off the Band-Aid. But even if the lineup isn't open, the player's names will be burned into your screen because you shut off your screensaver six months ago. You should go ahead and turn that back on, or buy a new monitor. If you won your league, the salary hours you put into your teams could've saved the economy. Well, eff the economy, you won bragging rights! If you won your league with
[player]Henderson Alvarez[/player] and his no-hitter, then God bless your foresight, but I wouldn't be shocked if you were really a witch. Conspiracy Theory Alert! The Tigers are securely in the playoffs and Henderson Alvarez is in the on-deck circle. Bases are juiced with two outs. The Tigers don't want extra innings right before the playoffs and the Marlins can't score with a prostitute and a roofie. Leyland sends the pitching coach out and tells Putkonen throw a breaking ball to the backstop and give the kid the no hitter. Either way, what a great way to end the baseball season. A sport that you just can't ever predict gives a guy no one would've predicted a no hitter. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
[player]Gerrit Cole[/player] has filthy stuff. He can hit 100 MPH with his fastball and make all four of our girl readers go, "Ooh..." Which reminds me of my Walk on the Wild Side remixed chorus, "And the four girl readers go doo do doo do doo do do doo." There was a whole lot of nonsense, or whole lotta if we stick with the rock theme, when he was first called up that Cole didn't want to strike people out. Does Alf not want to get back to Melmac?! Does macaroni not mean awesome when Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni!? Does everyone with glasses not look goofy on a 1980's baseball card?! Ron Kittle? I rest my case! Of course, Cole wants to strike out guys. You can't stop that! Yesterday, he struck out 12 of them. In 111 1/3 IP this year, he has a 7.60 K-rate and if you throw out June, when he was saying that nonsense about throwing to contact, his K-rate would be near 9. Oh, bee tee dubya, everything else is purdy, too. His FIP is 2.98, his walk rate is barely over 2, he gets ground balls. For 2014 fantasy baseball, Cole could easily be a top 20 starter for all of baseball and will be someone I'll get plenty googly about this offseason. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
[player]Hunter Pence[/player] has the manic energy of a gangly man-bird. On average, Hunter Pence's home run trots last about 20 seconds. So in the last week, he's run for about minute and twenty seconds while the rest of the world has watched, thinking, "I wonder if he was raised by a pack of pink flamingos." One time during a trip to the zoo, Hunter Pence got separated from his human family for two hours. He was eventually found in the aviary section of the zoo chewing popcorn and spitting it into a baby bird's mouth. Those two hours were wiped from all zoo surveillance cameras so it was never accounted for, but anyone who has seen the gangly man-bird run probably can figure out that Hunter Pence was trying to reproduce with an ostrich or some other tall bird. This week he shedded more than feathers. He lost the OCD tissue boxes he's worn on his feet most of the season and went power crazy: 6 homers in the last week with two coming on Sunday. Hunter Pence said thank you to his H2H owners for believing in this half-bird creature. For next year, I think he's bound to disappoint as his speed evaporates and goes back to where it was prior to this season (the 10-12-steal range), but for now enjoy a bird/guy who was an afterthought in drafts and has turned into a top five outfielder, according to our
Player Rater. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
I'm Asian, so it's not raycess. Err, I think.
There have been many a fine years for a many a fine players in this 2013 Baseball season. As summer comes to a close and your mother puts her top back on, we can surmise the season like so -- we have seen some good things, some bad things, and some strange things. Mostly because I'm including Tehol in the sample. Why? That matters less than you think. But this is why the game is played. And that point being established, I must say,
[player]Hisashi Iwakuma[/player]'s year can be lumped in as a very fine year. A former Japanese starting pitcher, turned reliever by the Mariners, turned back into a starter by the aforementioned Mariners, Iwakuma has solidified the fact that he belongs on your Fantasy Baseball roster, including a 7.0 IP, 0 ER performance against the Cardinals last night. But to what degree does he belong on your roster? And are we doing Celsius or Fahrenheit? All important questions. Well, based on numbers, he looks to be around the
[player]James Shields[/player],
[player]Jon Lester[/player],
[player]Cole Hamels[/player] area. There doesn't appear to be a crazy amount of regression due, the environment is a big plus, and there's an okay history of health here. I'm willing to buy him in that zone next year. Anyhoo, here's what else I noticed yesterday:
Grey's in transit to Texas Wine Country for a friend's wedding so Drunk Uncle Rudy's has control of the ol' roundup post. Yup, Texas has a wine country. If you guessed the wine is mediocre and they only sell it in magnum bottles because everything's bigger in Texas, you're half-right (you can buy it in barrels too). But mediocre wine ain't so bad. My mother-in-law brought us Arkansas wine the other day that she and her husband picked up on a recent roadtrip. Oofa! I had a sip and thought, "Are they
trying to make this taste like Manischewitz?" Did they run out of grapes and substitute with purple gobstoppers? I bet when Arkansas winery sales reps stop by Wal*Mart HQ, the wine buyer has to euphemize, "We appreciate you make wine in our state but we don't think it meets the standards of our indiscriminate clientele."
Since there is no big news today, I thought I'd revel in the awesomeness of
[player]Arquimedes Caminero[/player] - the Marlins middle reliever who pitched 2 scoreless innings last night in a mop-up role. It isn't his talent or potential that is awesome - it's the name. The first name adds some Greeky Latin to the Italiany Latin Giancarlo and Placido and explains the
spiraling fortunes of the Marlins. The last name sounds like a Chevy car designed especially for Staten Island with a Camaro front and an El Camino pickup truck back. Haul trash to the local landfill by day - charm the guidettes by night. The Caminero! (BTW, Chevrolet's social media agency, if you're reading this, totally recommend the Caminero to GM and stop with that Chevy Silverado 'Strong' commercial on Pandora. "Everybody knows he ain't just tough...he's strong." More like everyone knows that song doesn't just suck....it blows!
Anyway, here are some Grey bragging about his RCL team-free notes from a short schedule Thursday...
Fancy meeting you here, and look at you: all dressed up with no place to go. As the season winds down, some are focused on last-minute playoff help (I try to appease you below), while others are reflecting on the past season. Let’s try to focus on the positives and learn a little something. I’m curious to hear which player you think is most deserving of the “OPS League MVP Award”. Let’s stay away from [player]Miguel Cabrera[/player], who was obviously great, but cost you a high draft pick. I’m looking for guys who provided value that far exceeded what they cost you on draft day and were truly a gift from the fantasy baseball gods. This will ideally help to provide us with a list of potential targets for next season (don’t worry; nobody else besides us will see this). Anyway, for those of you fortunate enough to still be in contention, here are some potential targets:
In true Halloween spirit, we have a special haunted edition of the
Pitcher Profile. Ok, so it's not even September yet, but hey, we live in a world of mass consumerism and the Halloween specials and themed sections of department stores are already up. Don't believe me? Ask the um, French Maid, you um... you saw leaving my room last night - it was just someone breaking in the costume! I'm kidding, I'm not Jude Law.
So about a month ago, I was all set to do a
[player]Scott Kazmir[/player] Pitcher Profile then his arm died. Kinda like Jared Leto's arm in
Requiem For A Dream. After a strong stretch through mid-June to late-July, Kaz gave up 4 to the White Sox, blanked the Marlins (but a slow-pitch softball pitcher could do that), then got rocked vs. the Angels and his arm was murdered. Murder, I Wrote! But through the modern world of medicine, he got a Will Smith
I, Robot replacement, then struggled with his stuff with the zombie arm in his first game back, giving up a 5 spot and 12 baserunners at Oakland. So expectations were pretty low heading into his start yesterday against the Twins, but after seeing the stat line and his return to form, I decided to break down his start and see if that velocity is back where it was a few months ago:
You know, picking your fantasy baseball pitchers is surprisingly a lot like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. At the beginning, you want the old reliable guys - you know - the ones that can barely walk. Looking at you [player]R.A. Dickey[/player]. You've got all this potential for an Oscar-winner/fantasy title. But as the movie and baseball season progresses, you want younger and younger guys with the upside of their ML debuts and big K potential against hitters who have never seen them before. Then after a longgggg middle half (and the dog days of summer in the baseball season), you're in the final act and you're ready to throw out there any 20-something-year-old just for the hell of it (just ask Kathy Griffin about that). Or you've walked out of the movie because you're just not into it.
As you well know, Pitcher Profiles usually select a pitcher from Sunday, but with overwhelming questions and requests for a profiling of [player]Danny Salazar[/player], I felt overwhelmed to buck the trend.
[player]Felix Hernandez[/player] is the pitcher to pitcher when you're facing more than one Brewer. *sips from frosty mug* Ah.... Almost as satisfying as a good porgasm, which is the ecstasy reached when you finally find a rest stop after you have to pee for about two hundred miles. Yesterday, F-Her threw eight shutout innings with 9 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.28. He's not even close to how good he was his Cy Young year. He's MUCH better (caps for emphasis, not so the guy who's reading over your shoulder can see better). He has a career high strikeout rate, which is like, "Hey, this Filet Mignon can't get any better-- Oh, wait, I don't have to pay for it either?" And it's not because you cut out a chunk of your hair and put it on the plate. F-Her also has a career low walk rate and a career low xFIP, which tells us his ERA isn't even fluky. He'll probably be overshadowed by [player]Yu Darvish[/player] or [player]Max Scherzer[/player] in the offseason, but F-Her is finally coming into his own at the ripe young age of 27. In 2014, when people are going Kershaw and Darvish and Wainwright, there F-Her will be again coming at a discount because of some perceived weakness due to win potential. Bunch of Murray Chasses (Chassi?), every one of you. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
The Indians had themselves a good ol' fashioned hometown community pow-wow in Chicago yesterday, scoring 29 runs off 33 hits in Friday's double header. The Tribe tallied 19 runs in the first half of the double header, with eight different Indians having multi-hit games including 3-hit games from [player]Asdrubal Cabrera[/player], [player]Yan Gomes[/player] and [player]Mike Aviles[/player]. And as if the ChiSox weren't having a bad enough night, the Injians managed to rally to score four runs in the ninth to win with a walk off home run by [player]Nick Swisher[/player] in the second game. [player]Jason Kipnis[/player] was the real hero going 4-for-7 with four runs, four RBI, four BB and his 18th stolen base. Kip's got a .473 OBP in the past month, which is definitely worthy of a rain dance. Anyway, this is the second time Cleveland had scored 19 runs in a game this season, and they move within two games of first place in the AL Central. Rough night for ChiSox fans, but hey, [player]Jeff Keppinger[/player] (6-for-8, 2 runs, HR, 4 RBI) had a great day, right? Right!? I'm making it worse aren't I? I better take some happy pills quick before the world starts getting dark.
Sigh, well, here's what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
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