We fill out the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the last few hitters, the top 5 utility players for 2012 fantasy baseball.Â Tomorrow we take this mother to one hundred!Â Not one hundred utility men. The top 100 overall.Â Then we take this to 300!Â Again, not 300 utility men.Â Okay, these players are only eligible at DH aka Utility.Â Frankly, I donâ€™t think you should draft any of these designated hitters.Â They donâ€™t allow enough flexibility.Â For example, what if you had Vladimir Guerrero clogging up your Utility spot last year and you really wanted to pick up Desmond Jennings?Â You wouldâ€™ve been wretched, retching on all fours to borrow from The Decemberists.Â These guys have no position eligibility for fantasy baseball.Â As with past rankings posts, this top 5 for 2012 will be broken up into tiers, and their 2012 projections will be included.Â Anyway, hereâ€™s the top 5 utility players for 2012 fantasy baseball (they suck, enjoy!):
1. Billy Butler – This is the first tier.Â This tier goes from here until here.Â I call this tier, “Look at dem cans!”Â (Butler had 11 games at 1st base so he might have eligibility for you there.)Â To see Butler’s 2012 projections go to the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.
2. David Ortiz – This is a new tier.Â This tier goes from here until here.Â I call this tier, “And now you’re hamstrung.”Â By the tier name I mean this, Ortiz seems like the only Utility-only player that anyone considers drafting.Â People draft Butler, but as a 1st baseman.Â So when people draft Ortiz, they really are only getting a Utility-only player.Â With no hope of getting a 1st baseman from games played during the season.Â Now they have no flexibility.Â If you have a guy in your Utility spot all year, you’re hamstrung.Â BTW, isn’t it interesting how the word utility means something useful, but for fantasy it’s not?Â I swear that sounded interesting in my head before I typed it.Â Anyhoo!Â 2012 Projections:Â 75/27/90/.270
3. Johnny Damon – (Has 16 games in the outfield, so he might have eligibility there.)Â This is a new tier.Â This tier goes from here until the end of the post.Â I call this tier, “You are a damn fool if you draft one of these guys.”Â Actually, I can see a scenario where drafting one these guys makes sense.Â You join a ten team league with you and nine other teams that are just you using different aliases.Â I’d then draft Damon for one of the other teams that you’re sandbagging.Â When you beat the nine alias sandbagging teams, the girls will be throwing themselves at your feet.Â 2012 Projections:Â 50/12/40/.265/12
4. Vladimir Guerrero – It’s definitely not the age of the DH, huh?Â Somewhere Ron Blomberg is rolling over in his grave.Â Assuming he’s dead.Â If he’s not, looking at the current DHs will kill him.Â I hope you’re happy, Vlad!Â 2012 Projections:Â 35/15/45/.270
5. Hideki Matsui – “Does he have outfield eligibility?Â Does he have a current major league team that is going to play him?”Â That could also be this tier’s name.Â 2012 Projections: crap/that/smells/nasty