I thought about going with “Yadda Yadda Yadier” as the title for this week’s rant, but I used that line last week when discussing the top catcher in fantasy baseball points leagues. While I would only be stealing from myself I wanted something new. If only Molina had homered three times last night this would have been perfect. I still think it’s good enough, and good enough is good enough for me. Speaking of “good enough”, Yadier Molina has been far better than good enough. In fact, he has been fantastic. The dude’s got 6 home runs, 16 runs batted in, a .316 batting average and 2 stolen bases to boot! With 69 points Yadier is in a league of his own at the catching position. Eat your hearts out Gary Sanchez owners! While you were busy drafting Sanchez in the third round I drafted Manny Machado. And when I drafted Molina in the 12th, you were stuck taking Paul DeJong.

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I have gone over the preseason, in-season, and shortly in 5-6 months, the postseason love for all things Tim Anderson.  No, the another SB dude from the other, other side of Chicago.  Which in my mind is a triangle, or from the angle that I am drinking at, it’s a complete hypotenuse.  Yoan Moncada over the last 11 days has proven that the Go-Go Sox are in full affect, or flavor.  Whatever the millennials wanna call it.  Is rad still a thing?  Never the who, he has 4 steals over the last 11 games and the propensity, which we thought was potential in the preseason for a lot of the southsiders, is totally a legit thing.  The license to steal (like an opposite version of Bond, or a Fredo Bandido of steals) has the Sox players that hit towards the top of the lineup, when on base, gives them full autonomy to take it.  And by it, I mean the steal of a bag.  Not only do I love it, I would condone a trade for Yoan at some expense that is a sort of overspend.  His hit rate screams breakout, and I mean who doesn’t like a screamer.  Lets everyone know who is laying down the law.  Gives us all a little extra wink-wink.  Extra is right!  He has hit near the top of the order for days and it should continue.  The one thing that bad teams are good at is ulterior fantasy goodies, and steals is definitely one of those stats. So do yourself a favor, go propose to the Yoan owner and say would you have and hold me forever, and ever, and trade me him for a slightly over pay.  Your stats won’t hate you in the morning.  Let’s see what else is hopping on the good foot and stealing the good things in the saves and steals department.  But with charts for her pleasure…or yours.

Picking on catchers in daily roster moves is fun.  Here are the SV leaders for steals against this season. Not ever stat is a good stat, especially when you have catchers and the frequency of steals against.  It isn’t always their fault, but it is not, not their fault.  Ya dig?

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Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”

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Preston Tucker is on pace for 32 home runs, 129 runs batted in and a .278 batting average. I realize that the whole “on pace” argument three weeks into the season holds about as much water as a bottle with a hole in the bottom of it, but the point is that he is off to a very good start. Unexpected? I think so. After spending all of 2017 in AAA fixing flat tires for the Astros, he was traded to the Braves in the offseason where he would hopefully have the opportunity to play in the Majors. Ok, maybe he didn’t fix any flats, but he did hit 24 home runs in 569 plate appearances. Perhaps the Astros felt they were one Tucker over the limit considering they also had Preston’s younger brother Kyle in the organization. Kyle also happens to be their top hitting prospect. When the front office gave him the news I hope he said “Tucker out” as he exited the meeting.

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Baseball season eh? Are they going to play any? Am I right? It’s not all bad, they still have to make up the games so it should lead to more full slates and double headers. Hopefully more full slates, I’m not a big fan of the double header. Who likes to see 1-8 with a run scored next to a player for the day? Life is full of disappointments elsewhere, leave baseball alone. Like we did in the first two weeks, we are going to look at the player rater and find some gold that your league mates might be under appreciating more than you under appreciate prestige television like The Americans.

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Boy, this Ohtani is all anybody’s ever talking about. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Ohtani is. I was so tempted to put Shohei Ohtani on this list. So tempted! Unfortunately he only has 30 at-bats compared to the league leader, his teammate, Albert Pujols’s 67. That’s too small of a sample size for me to overreact and 3-4 batting games per week can leave you in a hole. It is fun to see that he has a 0% soft contact rate though. But that Ohtani is some kind of something, huh?

This winter weather is messing with a lot of players. At the bottom of my top 100 you’ll see a list of hitters who shoulda, coulda, woulda been in the top 100 if they were healthy. I think most of them will return and find themselves back on the top 100 list, but for now, due to their missed games and health uncertainty — they get their own list.

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Anibal Sanchez picks up the win is something I never thought I’d get to write again. I haven’t owned him since 2016, but my ERA and WHIP still haven’t recovered. Well, the Aniballer is back and he shut down the Chicago Cubs Friday night pitching six innings, allowing just three hits, no runs and a walk while punching out six for his first win. He’s now rocking a sultry 1.29 ERA and 1.21 WHIP with a 14/5 K/BB rate through two starts. Not amazing, but a whole lot more amazinger than the 6.41 ERA, 1.59 WHIP he put up last year in 28 games. Oh bah gawd, the WHIP! It burrrns! My favorite thing about Anibal is that his ESPN profile page has a pic of him in a Twins hat, a team which, to my knowledge, he has never played for. Hmm, suspect. Clearly, we cannot fully trust Sanchez just yet but two straight quality road starts against two of the leagues best offenses has got me #tbt’ing to 2013 Anibal! That was Sanchez’ best year statistically and 2 years before the cold, sad, crushing, harshness of the city of Detroit damaged his psyche irreparably. It may not be Miami, but Anibal is in Atlanta now, and they do have Migos. Also, it’s the National League which is a better place than any to revive your career. Sanchez has a fairly nice match up at home versus the Phillies next week and I might take a chance seeing if I can rebottle some of those good ol’ fashioned 2013 Anibalic K-Roids I used to get on the streets of the ‘Roit. B Rabbit sold them to me. April has always been Sanchez’ best month statistically so if you’re going to buy now might be the time. Anibal’s available almost everywhere and he’s at the very least worth watching as he tries to win back our trust in Atlanta. Maintain Aniballer status, and maybe I’ll consider streaming you next week. I won’t tell my ratios if you don’t.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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This preseason Gregory Polanco was a Capri Sun.  Yes, the pouch drink that you need to stab 17 times to get the straw in.  Crazy, right?  What’s crazier is I have an explanation!  Ready?  Here we go, readers!  There is something just completely gross about liquids in a pouch.  Put some delicious nacho cheese in a ziplock bag.  You do not want to eat that anymore.  Seriously, cut the corner and squeeze it into your mouth.  So nasty!  An IV bag?  Yeah, that’s appetizing.  Why not grab a colostomy bag and cut out the middle man?  Bagged liquids are gross.  However — again with some stank! — HOWEVER, Capri Sun is surprisingly good.  Okay, u-turn to Polanco.  This preseason the Pirates looked like a mess.  No one really wanted any of them.  Marte had a suspension last year, but even he was kind of, “Well, he’s ranked here, so I guess I’ll take him.”  Polanco, though?  You didn’t even want him around pick 150 overall!  It was a “Hmm…Take a boring MI or Polanco” pick.  And a lot of you took Ian Kinsler instead!  Yesterday, Gregory Polanco went 2-for-5 with two more homers, and is now up to 5 homers, and, as Anime Grey said in the first Buy, Sell, Hold video, Polanco is still a buy.  Polanco is orange-flavored water in a silver pouch, the ultimate Capri Sun.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I really can’t believe that I let a mediocre Spring Training keep me from drafting Shohei Ohtani with a reasonable pick. I remember last year when the rumors were becoming clearer and it was looking very much like he’d be coming to the Majors in 2018. My first thought was that whoever had the first pick in my league was going to take him. Our league has ten teams and six keepers so the first pick is actually the 61st pick. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d be the first pick. Having won the league I would be stuck with the last pick. No chance I’d get a crack at Shohei. Ohtani wasn’t drafted until the sixth pick of the sixth round. That’s 126th overall. I made SIX picks and didn’t think once about grabbing him. You might want to think twice about taking advice from me.

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I believe in all of my sleepers.  Yes, even you, Kevin Gausman, but you need to show some intestinal fortitude and less IBS!  However, you can only give your sleepers so much leash if they don’t perform immediately.  You need to get a taste of the good stuff early on or you might have to abandon ship.  For instance, you go into an ice cream shop and you get a taste of the Rocky Road, but they give you a sample with no marshmallows, no nuts, no fudge swirl — they just give you a taste of chocolate.  Dubya tee eff!  You have to sample on the swirl!  That’s what Patrick Corbin did yesterday, he sampled on the swirl.  He went 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.38.  I gave you a Patrick Corbin sleeper this preseason, and he’s all up on that swirl.  Giving his owners a swirly even.  Hmm, maybe not that.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?