Spring is on its way! The RCLs are up and running, Grey’s busted through his rankings, and it’s not negative 100 outside my house for once. As if the opening sentences didn’t generate enough excitement, the dynamic duo of Castle Grey-Shitz is back for another week of big audio dynamite. This time we come correct with the top 25-30 shortstops for 2018 Fantasy Baseball from the Book of Albright. We dig in on Carlos Correa’s value, debate Alex Bregman’s running ability, use our meh emojis for Corey Seager, before moving on to Chris Taylor, Xander Bogaerts, Javier Baez, Elvis Andrus, Trevor Story, and many more. Just another week here with Ralph & Grey! Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

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Our 2018 Razzball Commenters Leagues are in full signup mode.  I even heard there were a few people from Anonymous that signed up!  They said, “To the world, I’m Anonymous, just another white man who sits in parking lots with binoculars watching women.”  Man, that Anonymous guy is depressing!  As we always do about this time, I eviscerate the haters and complicators!  I eviscerate the not-knowers and the over-knowers!  I eviscerate the ESPN goers and the garden hoers!  I overuse a word like eviscerate that I just learned!  I am the Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it) and I’ve come for your children!  See, because blog writing doesn’t pay so well, I’ve taken a second job as a bus driver, so I’m literally here for your kids.  Like a baller!  A shot caller!  An “I’m outside of Hot Topic at the maller!”  My eviscerating (I’m conjugating my new word!) today comes at the expense of ESPN and their 2018 fantasy baseball rankings.  To the tune of Baby Blue (Feat. Chance the Rapper) by Action Bronson:

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Boner alert! It’s another week of the Razzball Podcast starring the one the only, the King In The Standings, The Master of Rankings, The Opener of Jars! It’s our very own Fantasy Master Lothario, Grey Albright. This time around we’re not talking nothing but the keystone. It’s second base this week, as we cover Grey’s top 25 or so names at the position. We debate Dee Gordon, Robinson Cano, Jonathan Schoop, and many more! I learn what boba is, and immediately decided I would never ingest it. Just another week here with Ralph & Grey! Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So far we’ve (I’ve) gone over the top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseballtop 20 for 2018 fantasy baseballtop 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseballtop 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball and the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball.  Sure, I could’ve just said here’s the 2018 fantasy baseball rankings, but if you’re gonna clickbait, you gotta go full bait.  Last year, I was drooling about the top 20 shortstops; this year, well, I like a few of them.  Lowercase yay!  How’d it go from a deep position to shallow in one year, especially a year after a huge offensive outburst?  I have some theories, but they all involve the Illuminati, so I can’t talk about them.  With each player is my projections and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2018 fantasy baseball:

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Before we get into the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball, let’s go bobbing for clickbait.  Here’s my top 10 for 2018 fantasy baseballtop 20 for 2018 fantasy baseball, top 20 catchers for 2018 fantasy baseball and the top 20 1st basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball. So, without further hubbub on the tomfoolery, the top 20 2nd basemen were shallow like how Altuve likes his pool water as recently as three years ago, then bounced back two years ago, then were drowning in a puddle last year.  So, what about this year?  Thanks for the expository segue!  As always, my projections are included and I mention where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2018 fantasy baseball:

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We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.  Today, we dip our big toe into the top 20 2nd basemen pool.  Weird year for the 2nd basemen.  They had a huge bounce back last year, but this year a bunch of guys got old or just disappointed:  Kinsler, Carpenter, Kipnis and Zobrist.  And that’s only naming the Jews and Gentiles.  (I’m putting Carpenter in both camps.)  To recap this crap (rhyme points!), this final ranking for last year is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

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Yesterday, on the last day of his H2H playoffs, Flavor Flav’s fantasy baseball team, “Yeah Boyd!!!” had a day to remember.  Fun fact!  Flavor Flav also plays fantasy baeball, drafting Hoopz, New York and Pumkin in the first round was the way to go, so surprising to see him take Brandi, who wasn’t even in Flavor of Love but on Rock of Love.  Rookie mistake!  Or maybe I should say roofie mistake.  So, yesterday, Matt Boyd went 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.33, losing his no-hitter with two outs in the 9th inning.  He throws a handful of pitches, literally.  Five in total:  fastball (92 MPH), cutter, slider (slutter?), change and curve.  His arsenal is nothing to boot (footy pun!).  Of course, five pitches that are all garbage isn’t exactly the meow’s cat.  As of yesterday, only his curve was a plus pitch.  He is only 26 years old, so maybe a 5.00 xFIP doesn’t give the whole picture/pitcher (stutterer!).   Of course, at this time of the year, only his next start matters, and the Stream-o-Nator actually has it as the smallest of positives.  So, you got it, Flav, “Yeah, Boyd!!!”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Doh!  A deer, a female deer and also what the Dodgers say.  Ray, a drop of golden filth.  Me, a name I call myself who owns J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray.  Fa, a long long way to run if a Bostonian is saying far.  SO another name for strikeouts.  LA is where the game took place.  Ti I dribble down my face, when J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray play.  Yesterday, Ray went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 14 Ks, ERA down to 2.80.  Robbie Ray is an ace.  No matter how you slice that pecan pie, he’s an ace.  No matter how you put that pancake batter on the skittle.  No matter how you put whipped cream in my mouth.  My God, I’m so hungry.  Cougs has got me doing this Whole30 diet and I’m legit about to eat my hand.  At Endorphin Ralph’s top 100 starters for this week, Ray’s ranked 6th.  Can’t argue that, and last night he dunked all over the LA K’ers.  Then, J.D. Martinez got my goosepimples all a-titter.  He went 4-for-5, 6 RBIs with his 31st, 32nd, 33rd and 34th homer.  Someone has to Just Dong, so who better than Just Dong?  Who?!  Sorry, I’m writing this wearing an owl costume.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Rich Hill threw a perfect game yesterday — he pitched into the tenth inning and didn’t get a blister.  Are we measuring perfect games for Rich Hill differently now?  I thought that was his standard.  How about this?  Rich Hill threw a perfect game through nine innings if Logan Forsythe would’ve stayed down on a grounder to third, which leaves Forsythe with nothing but hindsight.  The irony is thick like Nicki Minaj.  Yesterday, Rich Hill went 9 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 10 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.32; his only blemish was a tenth-inning, lead-off, walk-off home run by Josh Harrison, oh, that spoil sport.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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If you hail from Central New Jersey, sorry. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. Albert Pujols does not represent the 609. If you are a Ludacris fan, sorry. Pujols may or may not have garden hoes in different area codes, but I can neither confirm nor deny it. Rather, Pujols slugged his 609th career home run Friday night. It doesn’t matter that it came off Jeremy Hellickson, who’s allowed the 14th-most home runs this season, and is already the 439th-worst of all time. I was going to go on an epic rant about how all the stories are focused on the fact that he’s tied with Sammy Sosa for the most home runs by a foreign-born player. Who gives a flying F where he was born? Then I started thinking, I wonder which player born in Los Angeles has hit the most home runs. Yet again, I’ve managed to stymie myself. Anyways, who cares that Pujols has a triple slash of .229/.274/.374 with an ISO of .144. Let’s just celebrate the great career he’s had and send him off into the sunset after this season. My self checks to make sure this is his last year…

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