Sometimes you ask and you shall receive and in that vein, I begin this month’s Razznasty update. Now I know the two questions you’re asking, what did you ask for and receive? And which vein? First, it’s the main vein, you know the one in the middle…. Secondly, I asked our very own Hippo in the bush Matt Truss to make a push in the standings over the course of June so I could name the next update “Can’t Truss It”. Done and done. I told Mr. Truss-ah Truss that I’d dress as Flavor Flav from this video while I wrote it. Truss, that I held up my end of the bargain, picture me decked out in white tuxedo with top hat and Batman glasses. Unfortunately I can’t share with all of you due to a shortage on the correct cartridges for my vintage Polaroid Sun 600. Sorry boys, and whatever number of girls are reading this year. I believe we were up to five, but we might have lost a few after the Jose Canseco interview. There’s nothing that upsets the ladies more than invasive question about Madonna’s early 90’s sperm brokering. Enough of the bollocks, onto the Razznasty update for June. Dynasty League Baseball at it’s finest.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So this year, like so many before, the closer trade market is always an interesting cocktail mixer of events that shake things up. ¬†The Padres waited to be first, which makes zero sense… but also makes total sense. ¬†A conundrum wrapped in bacon as they¬†traded Fernando Rodney to the ever more deadly bullpen in Miami. ¬†He will not be closing there, but will basically make that bullpen just deeper and taking value away from great holds guys on the year in David Phelps and Kyle Barraclough. ¬†Rodney brings his glistening 1 earned run on the year, to a situation behind the Marlins closer A.J. Ramos, who hasn’t blown a save to date. ¬†So now the ramifications don’t just stay with the Marlins, their bullpen is solid. ¬†The Padres, however, are like the movie Thinner, a cursed bunch of unprovens, which is sometimes good and bad. ¬†Ryan Buchter is the first guy up, as he has carved out a decent set-up niche there. ¬†After that, it is a bunch of Quacks, Villas, and BM’s. ¬†Buchter has the K-rate, just not the pedigree… yet, to be a closer. ¬†He has the job as they say in fantasy, which is better than being fantasy homeless or unemployed. So Buchter is the add. Maurer and Quackenbush are on ready five. ¬†Here what else is happening in the game of final bosses. ¬†Have a safe and Happy 4th of July weekend!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The save buffet line in Minnesota is becoming a tiresome “wait-and-see who gets the chance today”. ¬†We all sit there and wait to own all the bullpen condiments that they offer, whether it be Brandon Kintzler, Fernando Abad, Trevor May, Kevin Jepsen, or Michael Tonkin. Including Perkins, those are the names that have been gifted a precious save chance for the occupants of the Twin Cities. ¬†A save opportunity total that is second to last in the league (18), in front of a surprise first place team in the Cubs. ¬†The Cubs are only there because they are beating everyone up and don’t have the late-inning chances that other losing teams do. ¬†So back to the Twinkies… they have the least amount of saves, holds, and have the least amount of appearances by relievers with the lead. ¬†All those things are so bad¬†for roster space that you are speculating it to get you a save. They are on pace to average less than 3/4 of one whole save a week. ¬†But if people want to keep roster shuffling, looking for the odd save here or there, who am I to judge? ¬†I mean, some people say cucumbers taste better pickled. ¬†The fortunate thing for you is that I am here to guide that steady hand and give you astute advice for a nominal (not nominal, it’s free) fee. ¬†So here the rankings of closers for week 11, now with more added snippets of goodness!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Situations arise all the time with closers. Injuries occur, poor performance, and then the return of the incumbent. ¬†In the preseason, Will Smith was the guy the Brewers had tabbed as the closer. ¬†Then, like I just said, an injury happened. ¬†So now that he is back, what goes on in the back-end of the Brewers bullpen? ¬†Jeremy Jeffress has done a stellar job with a less than average set-up crew in front of him. ¬†He has pitched to a 2.45 ERA and a slightly more bloated xFIP of 3.41. ¬†For all his previous tangles with pitching, he is striking out far less then he is normally accustomed to at just a 6 K/9 rate. ¬†Low for a closer, even from the Lauvern and Shirley state. ¬†He has managed 14 saves in 15 opportunitioes, and for a team like the Brewers, 14 is a healthy total. ¬†So does his reign come to an end now that the best reliever is back in the fray? ¬†Granted, it is never a great thing when usual mop-up relievers start stealing your stats, namely Blaine Boyer and Carlos Torres, who have 3 saves between them in the past nine¬†games. ¬†And granted, saves are wonky and games dictate them sometimes, come from behind wins, and situational loogy-ness are also a factor. ¬†So I think with the way Jeffress has been going, he stays there until Will comes and steals his mojo and never looks back… Until the trade deadline, which could alter things up completely and basically revert it back to the way it was. ¬†So if Will Smith is on your waivers, do yourself a service and add him speculatively for a week or two. ¬†If he doesn’t give you the returns that you expect, then, well, the opposite happened of what I think should happen. ¬†Enjoy Week 9 of the fantasy baseball season’s closer report!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Besides that Eric Prydz catchy a** song, the bullpen situation/decision in Tampa is drawing nearer and dearer to our closer hearts. ¬†The return of the “Box” is coming, and it drums in the deep. ¬†Now we automatically assume, myself included, that three weeks ago, Brad Boxberger would just go all cutzies like in the high school cafeteria and get his job back at the time he arrives. ¬†Fast forward three¬†weeks, or to now, and that situation doesn’t look like it is a foregone conclusion because look what Alex Colome is doing in the role. ¬†He checks all the “I am keeping my job” boxes. He of the 10 saves in 10 chances, 12 K/9, 2 BB/9, BAA under two¬†bills variety. ¬†Those are all good things to have, and better than 15 other closers in baseball for stats across the board. ¬†Now, I just said that I don’t see Box claiming what’s his right away, but it could happen, because loyalty rules everything around baseball. ¬†So if you own Colome and can get Boxberger before he gets noticeable stats on the cheap, I advise to do so. ¬†If you own Boxberger and don’t own Colome, well, the price will be higher because the people that own him can read stats just as easily as I can type them out for you. ¬†So be proactive as we reach the quarter post in the fantasy year, and for giggles, stay around as I find some goofy things to learn you…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Danny Valencia had himself a nice little weekend. ¬†On¬†Friday, he hit two homers, then yesterday he became only the third player to ever have a three-homer game (3-for-5, 5 RBIs) against the Rays (last one was Carlos Delgado in 2003), and only the 2nd player¬†that also stood for the pregame National Anthem. ¬† Valencia grew up Jewish, and, according to Wikipedia, “(Valencia’s)¬†two key hitting coaches growing up were Bob Molinaro, a family friend who is a former major leaguer, and his mother Mindy.” ¬†I didn’t have a Jewish mother, but have plenty of experience being half-Jewish, so I can imagine the guilt trips he got, “Why don’t you marry a nice Jewish girl and stop swinging at balls in the dirt?” ¬†“You never call your mother, and you’re opening up too soon.” ¬†“You can go take batting practice after you give your mother a kiss.” ¬†Wikipedia doesn’t mention it, but one less guilt-inducing hitting coach he had was Jose Bautista. ¬†Valencia learned how to hit for more power from Joey Bats. ¬†Since Bautista imparted wisdom on¬†Valencia, he’s hit 30 homers in the last 580 ABs. ¬†So, can Valencia keep it going? ¬†It appears so. ¬†Now finish your latkes and keep your hands back! ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jon Gray¬†pitched seven innings Friday night versus the Mets, allowing just¬†five hits, two¬†runs, a walk and struck out eight in his first win, in well, in ever. Congrats on your first major league win, chief! It only took you nine months! How about that headline? That was a bad Fifty Shades joke. If you don’t like it I will tie you up and make you like it. Mmm. Bondage. Anyway, Jon Gray–Coors pitchers be damned! After surrendering 11 runs through his first two starts, Gray has been damned¬†good in his past three starts, giving up just four runs and 10 hits in 20.0 innings, and his 1.15 WHIP and 36/7 K/BB are certainly impressing me mucho. I know what you’re thinking, still a Coors pitcher pitches at Coors and even in the most stream worthy of starts¬†it makes him very hard for me hard to recommend. But¬†that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be on your radar, folks. You should be watching him closer than the latest episode of Game of Thrones, looking for secret hidden fantasy clues in the sand. You guys, I’m pretty sure the scarring on Jon Snuh’s chest spells out R+L=J! Oh em god, wait!¬†The “J” must stand for, dot, dot, dot…Jon Gray! But Jon Gray knows nothing. He must be Targaryen!
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ugh, the smell of my onsies de Mayo is¬†so much worse than a normal day. ¬†I reek of sizzlin’ fajitas and am all cotton-mouthed from… well let’s just say alcohol. ¬†So attacking the usual Saturday¬†bullpen rundown is a dizzying affair to say the least. ¬†Speaking of a dizzying places, let’s look at the Rockies bullpen situation; it’s definitely not all kush, but it’s not charcoal brick pack. ¬†The trust in Jake McGee is still there, because to be honest, the talent level behind him isn’t really there, is not ready, or has no experience in the end-of-game thing. ¬†Behind Jake are Chad Qualls,¬†who has pitched the majority of the right-handed¬†match-ups in the 8th inning with a smattering of Boone Logan mixed in. ¬†Now, I was nervous about McGee’s K-rate until I saw what Qualls’ was. ¬†The stout bunch of McGee and Qualls have a combined K/9 over the last 14 games of 5.16. ¬†That is combined! ¬†I can’t make up this stuff. ¬†The role of closer is most likely safe because the next guy up is Qualls, and well, if that last stat statement wasn’t enough to make you bored, I don’t know what else to say. ¬†The look of the rest of the pen is very unproven with Scott Oberg, Justin Miller, and Gonzalez Germen. ¬†What this bullpen needs is a youth movement to come front and center. ¬†They have the guys there, but aren’t utilizing them in a role that is conducive for anything outside of dynasty leagues that count holds. ¬†Eddie Butler and Carlos Estevez (no not that one) are a good start to what could be a decent mix. ¬†And yes, I see Butler as a bullpen arm. ¬†Getting chances are sparser than other teams for the Rockies, but with time, and once they start invigorating the youth into the chain of holds and saves command, progress will be made even¬†above sea level. ¬†Let’s see what other gobs of knowledge we have for the closers over the last few weeks…Please, blog, may I have some more?
At some point, you look at your roster, then look at yourself in the mirror and the repeat that 31 more times and ask yourself this question… ¬†When is chasing saves from the worst possibilities a bad idea? ¬†My best advice, as your advocate of bullpen swagger, is never. ¬†Realize the talent that is in the bullpen and say: is 1-2 saves really worth a waiver claim, a roster drop of someone else and a complete destruction of your rates and quite possibly your dignity? ¬†If you haven’t guessed it, I am discussing the shatuation in the ‘Nati. ¬†Just to get everyone up to speed on the demise, their (and keep in mind that it has only been¬†two-plus weeks of games roughly) Hoover sucked. Jumbo is demoted to minors, Hoover back in and bad again, Cingrani more like Cingran-no. ¬†Now all the hype is on Caleb Cotham. ¬†Who has the time and rosterbatory rituals to have the right frame of mind to roster these guys from change to change? ¬†I get that if you are in a NL-only league, it makes sense to be on the ball, but in mixed league… well, these guys are poop. ¬†I was searching for a better word, but I can’t, and poop it is. ¬†The combined ERA this year of Reds relievers in a save situation is over five. ¬†That, my friends, is not worth the stretch for the sexy total of one¬†save as a team. ¬†Seriously, one whole save…¬†you could have been rostering Ivan Nova and gotten the same total number so far. So anyone who likes the punishment, keep an eye on the health of Michael Lorenzen, as he could be next up. So what I am saying is: yes it’s cool and swanky to be the first guy on your fantasy block to unlock the new closer somewhere, but use common sense. ¬†If a team is a pile of dung and will kill more stats then the assist, then, well, you already know my response because this is the end of the lede¬†and I just went over it. ¬†Stick around for some rankings, general¬†chicanery with words on a page, and hell, maybe a whole pack of lies wrapped around stats. ¬†Cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
A week into the season and everyone has basically contracted closer asthma. ¬†Breathe… ¬†I know it’s tough from time to time to fathom that the fantasy kingdom that you drafted two weeks ago is coming crumbling down because Shawn Tolleson just wet the bed and is shaking the Walker Texas Rangers bullpen. ¬†He has guys behind him that have been gone over, which¬†in most leagues that count pitchers who throw the bal,l should have been rostered. Namely Kela and Dyson. ¬†So what is all this bad karma at the beginning of the season good for, besides chasing saves? ¬†It is good for people who panic and drop the top set-up guys too early. ¬†Dellin Betances was dropped four¬†times more then he was added this week. ¬†That is a coup for you, don’t run to that, hop on a tricycle and find a hill to roll down as fast as possible. ¬†Early season turnover and panic buttons are what make your team weak in one department now, and especially strong in the next several weeks by “calculated” guessing. ¬†So with that, here is the first installment of the 2016 Closer Report with the changes and job winners from Spring Training newly nestled into their respective spots. I will tackle Holds and the set-up crews next week when we start seeing usage and match-up based stuff.Please, blog, may I have some more?