Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88.  Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.”  Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.”   Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.”  Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.”  Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be.  In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare.  One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill.  Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation.  How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner?  No?  Okay.”  And that’s me quoting me!  One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason.  It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs.  Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Remember way back when, like three years ago, when the Mets “young pitching staff” was all the rage? We talked about how “setup” the Mets were for the future behind the strength of arms Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard, and of course their back-page-darling, Matt Harvey. While deGrom and Syndergaard seem to have overcome injuries to return to form, the same cannot be said for “The Dark Knight”. While his pitching exploits once made him the King of NYC, it’s been his off-field shenanigans that have grabbed the wrong type of headlines of late. But… with a spark in his first start vs. The Phillies, the inevitable “Is Harvey Back?” headlines and bylines popped up on the pages of print, digital, and telepathic media. (Pssst, if you don’t get your news telepathically in 2018, you’re behind the times.) Wow, if you’re waking up from a coma, you’d be shocked to learn that, A. Matt Harvey stinks (or has stunk) B. Telepathy has gone mainstream. Thanks Uri Geller! That got a bit off track, here’s what I saw in Matt Harvey’s start on Sunday night.

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I’m convinced you’d be better off if you ignored everything from Spring Training.  For every one thing you gleam from the spring that pays off, there’s five terrible habits you pick up like you’re a priest in The Keepers on Netflix.  Okay, maybe you would have seen Joey Gallo wasn’t striking out as much (barely has carried over), but you also would’ve seen Shohei Ohtani looking terrible.  Hat tip to someone on Twitter who screenshot this:

So many things wrong with this — Has Bryce Harper ever been bad?  I mean, maybe injured, but a bust?  WUT.  Also, it’s one thing to be concerned about Shohei Ohtani, but bust?  He hadn’t pitched one inning in the major leagues by that point and was being drafted around 100th overall.  Bust?  It was a gamble, risk was baked in.  Yesterday, Shohei Ohtani bust…ed out!  (See what I did there?)  He went 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (1 hit, 1 walk), 12 Ks.  Good luck convincing someone he’s a bust now when trading for him.

The other pitcher with “Otani” in their last name is Jameson Taillon who went 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.26.  Last year, I suggested to get his feng shui back, to find his equilibrium, because he couldn’t pitch with one testicle missing, I suggested he put a walnut in his jock strap for balance.  Well, I’m not saying he took my advice, but, yesterday, Jameson Taillon gave up one hit.  Imagine he was a eunuch?  He’d be Sandy Koufax!  Wait, was that why Koufax had a girl’s first name?  For a while last year, Taillon was treating the surviving twin like a punch bag, but he looks back to the potential ace he once was.  Go get ’em, Jameson Walnut!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Didi, Didi, can’t you see, sometimes your home runs hypnotize me?  Or how about, Gre-Gre-Gregorius?  Gre-Gre-Gregorius… Gregorius sung by Duran Duran or Biggie work for me.  Fun fact!  Duran Duran is the past tense of Da Doo Run Run Da Doo Run Run.  Bit a of a trivia whiz, though I did need to Google to see if it was spelled whiz or wiz.  Did you know Truvia was discovered by someone sniffing artificial sweetener off a Trivial Pursuit card?  Any hoo!  Didi Gregorius went goofy time, there’s always money in the banana stand, crying at the end of The Last American Virgin but with tears of joy, with himself yesterday — 4-for-4, 3 runs, 8 RBIs and two homers (1, 2). His first homer went 346 feet, which is almost three and half Cespedes.  I was way off Didi in the preseason, but that was almost (exactly) five games ago, let’s forget about that!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On a night where most of the teams are on the back end of their rotations and have nothing to offer but Rump Roast, we have to look at Charlie Morton as a top option. He is the center cut filet of the night, 34 years dry-aged: Morton has been a revelation the last couple years, pumping up the velocity and missing bats at a career-high rate. The World Series game 7 hero now gets the sleepiest bats in the league: the Baltimore Orioles have been horrendous to start the year. They have managed only a handful of hits in three games and have offered solid strikeout opportunities. I can see Morton racking up the strikeouts, as well as having a great chance to get the W as Chris Tillman is his counterpart.

Now let’s look at the rest of the menu….

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The season is now just days away… We all have either drafted or are just about to and Spring training positional battles are in their death blows as expected starters have gone down with injuries throughout. Certain players we were excited about are now sitting in one of those DL spots, and we need to find those few players that everyone overlooked during the draft, some that could be nabbed off the waiver wire in a few weeks. I found a handful of players that fit the bill, all of which Grey ranked in the late 200’s or much later. Give these guys a look and consider adding them to fill up those new empty spots before the rest of your league catches on!

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Welcome to Razzball’s 2018 team previews. Over the next couple of months, we’ll be previewing all of the teams and talking to writers who represent those teams around the web. We want to provide the best and most in-depth fantasy projections to go along with the asking the most useful questions to those who know their teams best. We want to talk about the players in the first half of your draft and also the deep sleepers that make you log into google and start watching Midwest Single-A ball for hours. Just kidding, don’t do that, hopefully we don’t go that far…

The New York Mets are just two full seasons removed from a World Series appearance. There are still a lot of the same pieces in the clubhouse that were apart of the World Series run. After the two disaster seasons that followed, Terry Collins is out and former Cleveland Indians Pitching coach, Mickey Callaway, is in. Perhaps Callaway can right the ship for a rotation that has the potential to be among the best in the majors. The Mets also brought back Jay Bruce and Michael Conforto is due back in May. I get Steve Sypa’s thoughts on Conforto and Bruce and much more. You can find Steve’s work at Amazin’ Avenue.

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With these top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball, I’ve finished our (my) 2018 fantasy baseball rankings for positions.  Still coming will be a top 100 overall and top 500 to see how all the positions mesh together like your mesh Redskins jersey that meshes with your burgundy sweatpants.  Trust me, when you see how long this post is, you’ll be glad I kept this intro short.  As always, my projections are included, and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  If you want an explanation of tiers, go back to the top 10 overall and start this shizz all over again.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2018 fantasy baseball:

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Yesterday, Dee Gordon went 4-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and stole his 55th base.  Mean’s while, his teammate and my crush-bae, Giancarlo Stanton went 2-for-5, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and hit his 55th homer.  According to Elias Sports Bureau, the last time two teammates hit their 55th homer and stole their 55th base in the same game was Jimmie Foxx and Sugar Cain in 1932.  Though, historians, led by Ken Burns, have said Sugar Cain played on a doctor’s prescribed cocaine named Hurry Coke, a precursor to Cherry Cola.  Sugar used to bunt with one hand while rubbing his gums with his other hand.  Any hoo!  Dee Gordon is carrying my NFBC team in steals, where I’m in first, and SAGNOF, and all of that, but steals are pathetic this year, as they were last year.  25 players have 20 or more steals, after 28 last year, but with a few players at 19 steals, we should get to 28 players again.  However, 14 guys stole 30 bags last year, and, this year, we’re at six players.  I will now laugh hysterically to avoid crying.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the home stretch, boys, gals, and in-betweens. Like we discussed last week, the two-start starters list has been dwindling due to expanded rosters, young arms having their innings limited, and many teams opting for six-man rotations as a result. This week, with many teams also having an off day, there are fewer than 30 options for two-start starters. (By the way, fogimon, will you be watching Corey Kluber’s second start tomorrow? #KissyEmoji)

There are still some options for two-start streamers, however. Checking in with Streamonator, here are the two-start starters for this week with a positive dollar value who are owned in less than 75% of RCLs:

  • German Marquez COL, $16.80, 20%
  • Jharel Cotton OAK, $5.60, 18%
  • Blake Snell TB, $4.70, 31%
  • Tyler Mahle CIN, $1.70, 1%
  • Dan Straily MIA, $0.70, 53%

Despite the light list, we still have five starters with positive dollar values. Of the names on this list, I like Marquez and Straily the most. Snell I would gamble on if I needed to, but I would stay away from Cotton and my cousin Tyler Mahle (not really my cousin).

Marquez shines through this week because of his matchups: at San Francisco and at San Diego. Two teams who have struggled mightily at the plate, and he gets them in their pitcher-friendly ballparks. He is not without risk, but you could not ask for two better matchups.

I’m not sure how Straily is still only owned in 53% of RCLs, but sign me up for that, too. His matchups aren’t as good (vs. Mets and at Diamondbacks) because of that trip to Arizona, but I am still willing to roll with him over the others on the list.

Snell is meh, but he doesn’t scare me as much as Cotton or Mahle. Despite their positive value, if I am in need of starts in H2h playoffs, I am not going near either of those two. Their potential for disaster outweighs any value they provide, at least in my eyes. Stay away and save yourself.

And now, to the charts!

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