Corey Kluber left yesterday’s game with lower back discomfort, before giving up five earned in three innings to the Tigers. In every game, the Tigers look like John Jaso, just dreadful. I mean, you ain’t got no alibi. U-G-L-Y. Then Kluber makes them look like The Ghost of Charley Lau is gliding each bat from beyond the grave. “Don’t worry, Alex Avila, I will help you hit .400 and don’t forget to buy your mother a gift for Mother’s Day.” “Hey, Ghost of Charley Lau, you help with the hitting and let my iCal do the rest!” That’s so ungrateful, Alex Avila! Looking at Kluber’s peripherals, there’s some cause for concern, but cause for optimism too, assuming his back will be fine (maybe a large assumption). His velocity is down a hair, but his Ks, walks, and xFIP are not saying he should be pummeled like a gymnast’s horse. His Aprils have been terrible for the last two years (yes, I know we’re in May), so I’m hoping Kluber comes out of it. At worst, he’s a 3.70 ERA guy with 200+ Ks. At best, it all still comes together. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Amir Garrett, or as he’s commonly referred to as, Muslim Mrs. Garrett, took Natalie, Jo, Blair, Tootie and that little white kid, who no one remembers, to school last night. Muslim Mrs. Garrett was like, “Listen, child, I’m your boss while you’re in this park and I’m going to rule over you with sweet motherly affection, but an iron fist like you get from a male Gulag prisoner.” Yesterday, he straight dazzled — 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.83. MMG is so out of nowhere I feel like we need to start at the beginning. He was born– Okay, flash forward Lost-style and they’re off the island and Garrett is a former basketball player, so his age isn’t as old as it seems for his development level. I think because of that he could also sneak up on people. His control gets wonky at times, and he doesn’t read as a strikeout pitcher, but there he was doing just that last night. He could surprise some people, but A) Reds and their ballpark. B) Rookie. C) There’s no C. To take this back to 80’s sitcoms, there could be some Boners along the way through Growing Pains, but I’d grab him if you feel like Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, or can just handle the risk. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Daniel Norris went 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.81. Deserved better than a no decision, but he’s 23 years old, making $500,000, so who cares what he deserves? I deserve equal pay for cracking jokes about fantasy baseball for six months! *marching with a picket sign* Sign reads: BLOGGER = Better Living-wage Or Gainful Gifts, Earnings, Reimbursements *pull back to reveal I’m marching in my underwear with my dog humping my leg* Stop, Ted! I’m trying to make a point! So, Norris looked terrific, but he’s had a vexing season. Vexing, I tell ya! He was put in middle relief after a back problem that sidelined in the spring, then he returned and was almost immediately sidelined with an oblique problem. Why do we care? Well, I wrote a sleeper post about him last year, saying, “He’s a sleeper, because he’ll likely be drafted late since he appears to be a year away, and, sadly, he might not just appear to be a year away, but he might actually be a year away, though he might appear to be a year away and not be a year away. I’m the Grand Champion of putting “year away” in one sentence, by the way. Norris is a pure upside play. He could be a 4+ ERA guy that bounces between the rotation, the bullpen and the minors or a 2.75 ERA guy with truckloads of Ks.” And that’s me quoting me! I quote that, because I was exactly right (I couldn’t have been wrong since I hedged more than Sonic) and for 2017 I’m going to like Norris for the exact same reasons while being a year closer. Dot dot dot. To getting a living wage! I’m Norma Rae! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Noah Syndergaard admitted to having an elbow bone spur after denying it multiple times. Terry Collins said, “No one would know our business if it wasn’t for giving the PR job to a puppy dog! Ruff ruff! Come here, Fido, I wanna spank you with a rolled up newspaper!” This is the 2nd Mets’ starter in two days with elbow spurs. I look forward to the opening round of the playoffs when all of the Mets’ starters are wearing Iron Mike Sharpe elbow pads to hold their arms together. Or they hire John Cusack to marionette their starters. So, this is obviously not good news from Syndergaard, but it’s also not the end of his season. He could opt for surgery if he’s in pain, but he says he’s not in pain (though, he also said he didn’t have elbow spurs up until yesterday). Jon Lester has pitched through elbow spurs for the last five years. It’s not uncommon for starters to power through. Would I look to sell Syndergaard low? No. If you can get a healthy, similar starter, then sure, why not? No reason to panic. Unless Syndergaard starts wearing cowboy boots on his elbow. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just Damn. Just Doh. Just Don’t-tell-me-he’s-out-for-the-year. Just Depression. Just Difficulty-feeling-happiness. Just Dis-stress-is-stressing-me-out. Just D-negative-words-in-the-thesaurus. Just Dissolvent. Just Did-you-say-dissolvent? Just Don’t-stop-hugging-me-with-your-eyes-Ted-I-can’t-be-alone-right-now. A fractured elbow for J.D. Martinez. It happened when he ran into a wall. Apparently, the wall doesn’t own him. I hate you, wall! “If he dies, he dies.” Oh my God, the wall is imitating Ivan Drago! I knew it! The wall is a Russian super-villain. Martinez will head for a CT scan. I don’t know how long he’ll be out with a fractured elbow, but it sounds like it will be a while. Let’s join in the shape of a parallelogram and pray. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
And, with the first pick of the MLB draft, the Philadelphia Phillies take… Someone that was born in 1998. I have a bottle of ketchup older than that. In fact, I think I have an entire shelf of condiments older. Mickey Moniak or Grey’s Worcestershire sauce? What? That doesn’t ever go bad and it’s used for one thing. I think I dated a girl in 1998 who wanted a Bloody Mary. What else am I going to do with it?! Lea & Perrins conspired to add it in the recipe of the Bloody Mary so everyone would have to buy it. But you done messed up, Lea & Perrins, because there’s no use-by date! Seinfeld pulls me aside like Bania, “You have fifteen minutes of Worcestershire sauce material, maybe you diversify? What’s the deal with soy sauce? If it’s soy, shouldn’t it be white?” Wanna feel really old, look at Mickey Moniak. He makes Christian Yelich look like a blue-hair. I’m sure Prospector Ralph will be along on Sunday to talk about the MLB Draft in total, but the Phils grabbed Mickey Moniak, an eighteen-year-old lefty who has a line-drive stroke. Said to have a high floor, which means low upside. Hey, he actually might be just like Christian Yelich, two brothers from nearly this millennial. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tolleson had his cookies tossed for the last time on Tuesday. Or maybe Shawn Tolleson caused his owners’ cookies to be tossed? Sounds too passive, said Flesch-Kincaid, but you get the idea. By the by, why is tossing food so gross? Tossing one’s cookies should be a glorious thing. Who doesn’t want cookies tossed at them? Please toss your cookies into my mouth! Then there’s tossing salad? That sounds healthy and like a spring morn. Why is tossing salad so bad? I’d love a salad tossing and a jog around the Maypole! Any hoo! There’s no more Tolleson, and Sam Dyson will step in as the Rangers closer. Glad to see Rangers manager, Jeff Banister, finally react. Though, it took a long time since Tolleson’s ERA is over nine. Banister’s reflexes are so slow Bautista could’ve snuck in a punch on him. Maybe they should’ve let Odor punch Tolleson’s card. He would’ve been out on April 4th. “You’re done!” “That was one pitch.” “I don’t care, now I will punch you.” Sam Dyson should be owned in all leagues. Will Tolleson regain the role? Maybe, if Dyson gets injured, but it seems highly unlikely otherwise and can be dropped in most leagues. Hey, Tolleson, don’t let the door hit you, where Odor split your lip. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nothing is a better, giant surprise than a Rubby in the morning!
Rubby De La Rosa has always been a guy with a power fastball and plus slider, but it’s never been enough. Ks haven’t been there, he couldn’t get lefties out, and he’s looked more and more like Nathan Eovaldi rather than “the next big thing”. But after yesterday’s outing, Rubby has somehow limited lefties to a .162 average and only allowed 1 homer in 87 LH batters faced. Compare that to last year, when lefties murdered him for .315 and 20 homers in 410 batters faced.
After a pretty brutal start – including 3 relief appearances due to the D’backs bullpen being overtaxed – I really didn’t think too much about Rubby and his upside. Kinda thought “he is who we thought he is!” Wait, that’s a different Arizona sports team… His last 5 starts have been really good with solid Ks, but I thought for sure the Giants with their bevy of lefties would crash the party. Alas, we got a Giant surprise! Here’s how Rubby looked yesterday afternoon in Zona against those Gigantes:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You see that old rocking chair in the corner? That’s me, mister reliable. Made of wood and literally been around these parts since the dawn of time. I may not be the smartest fella, or the fartest smeller either, but I dig baseball. I get the stats and the hub-bub surrounding the intricacies of deeper stats. Relaying them in a manner that makes sense on paper and conveying them to you in a way that makes us all put away our Casio calculator watches is my style. This report covers similarities from what I touch on the regular in my bullpen post, so for the normalcy of life, I will add some of my usual middle relief spice into the streaming world of stolen bases. Sound good, grand glad we could agree. Rostering established stolen base guys is all well and good, but is a better feeling when you stream an option and he gets one that wasn’t normally accounted for. Kinda feels like stealing, in the actually stealing sense and not just in the statistical sense. The world of streaming swipes is becoming harder and harder as stolen bases are a stat best left for the dudes hitting dingers. The more a pitcher lets players get on base with SB opportunities, the increase for SB’s grows… sometimes. This is my first attempt at this post, so I am starting it my own way. So let’s look at this weeks options to stream stolen bases and the trends for which to follow for streaming ideas. Cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Owning Max Scherzer last night was like watching the Showtime classic, Emmanuelle, the erotic thriller starring Emmanuel Lewis as Webster Schlong and Alex Karras as George Papadopepuss. Through 6 IP, Scherzer had 13 Ks and was only 77 pitches. On the Tigers broadcast, Jimmy Leyland said, “(Scherzer) looks spent.” Who’s a better judge of that than his ex-manager? If only the Nationals had Jose Valverde to come in. But then Scherzer went out in the 7th and had a 1-2-3 inning with two Ks and it was if Shannon Tweed had appeared next to Emmanuel Lewis and this erotic thriller became more elaborate, convoluted and spectacular! Then Scherzer came out in the 8th and struck out three more guys to put his total at 18 Ks. Then, came the ninth. Now, no guy has a shorter hook than Emmanuel Lewis, but no manager has a longer hook than Dusty. Scherzer could’ve been on pitch 175 and he would’ve been out there to finish it, and finish the Tigers he did. Final line: 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 20 Ks. He is still giving up homers though…. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?