Doh!  A deer, a female deer and also what the Dodgers say.  Ray, a drop of golden filth.  Me, a name I call myself who owns J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray.  Fa, a long long way to run if a Bostonian is saying far.  SO another name for strikeouts.  LA is where the game took place.  Ti I dribble down my face, when J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray play.  Yesterday, Ray went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 14 Ks, ERA down to 2.80.  Robbie Ray is an ace.  No matter how you slice that pecan pie, he’s an ace.  No matter how you put that pancake batter on the skittle.  No matter how you put whipped cream in my mouth.  My God, I’m so hungry.  Cougs has got me doing this Whole30 diet and I’m legit about to eat my hand.  At Endorphin Ralph’s top 100 starters for this week, Ray’s ranked 6th.  Can’t argue that, and last night he dunked all over the LA K’ers.  Then, J.D. Martinez got my goosepimples all a-titter.  He went 4-for-5, 6 RBIs with his 31st, 32nd, 33rd and 34th homer.  Someone has to Just Dong, so who better than Just Dong?  Who?!  Sorry, I’m writing this wearing an owl costume.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m hoping that most of you reading this at the very least have the day off, if not, my condolences to your summer.  For those of you still standing, reading, celebrating or partying, I’m here to give you some quick advice on tonight’s late games in DFS.  We are on a limited slate of only five games, so it’s going to be all or nothing tonight.  R.A. Dickey, $13,600 is at home vs the Rangers and I have a feeling the knuck-knuck will be dancing in the deep South’s overwhelming humidity.  He was lights out on Wednesday when I streamed him in Philly, posting a solid 8 innings, with 9 Ks and only giving up 1 ER.  He’s facing a Texas team that hasn’t seen him since May of last year and he dealt, 8 innings with 6 Ks and 0 ER.  Long story short, don’t be a dick and get you some R.A. tonight with a side of the double RR.  That’s right!  I’m all in on Robbie Ray, $21,000 who is facing the Dodgers in Los Angeles tonight and his road splits are insane!  Full disclosure?  I didn’t feature Ray today because I already did earlier this season and I didn’t want to repeat.  Yes, I’m endorsing him even against the mighty Dodgers.  I shouldn’t have to back up my picks with statistics, but I know you need to see the numbers to verify my claims.  Chase Field; 5-4, 4.50 ERA, with 82 Ks over 64 innings.  Like a young Willie Nelson our Ray Gun is ready to rock it “On The Road Again” where he’s 6-1, with a miniscule 1.49 ERA to go along with 88 K’s over 66.1 innings.  I know Willie warned our moms against letting their babies growing up to be cowboys, but this is one young buck who likes to go rogue and put up numbers on the road.  Now that our pitching is locked and loaded, let’s take a look at our offensive options.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Michael Wacha ($6,900) has had it incredibly rough as of late, getting shelled in three consecutive outings, so it’s a bit of a frightening proposal to consider starting him on Thursday. However, as all savvy daily fantasy players know, a recent cold streak is a great opportunity to buy low on a player. Wacha still has a solid 3.76 FIP on the year and is rocking an 8.65 K/9. He can easily turn himself around against the Giants, who are the weakest lineup in baseball against righties this season, as they’ve got a .297 wOBA. Wacha also gets his start in the incredibly pitcher-friendly environment at AT&T Park. For such a nice price, Wacha can do you wonders in GPP formats.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did you hear about the Native American who wouldn’t leave the bathroom?  He said home was where the TP was.  Hey, this Drunk Uncle Jokebook isn’t that bad!  August has been miserable for Jose Ramirez with a .200 average, zero homers and two steals until last night.  You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.  Thankfully, the eggs he broke last night were the goose eggs representing his power numbers as he went 2-for-3 with his 19th and 20th homer, and his 14th steal.  Babies babble on, they lookin’ for excuses.  Not here to make excuses for Jo-Ram, but this was his first terrible month in two years.  Even Rhysus rested one day a week.  His righty/lefty splits are both at .298, which is odd since he’s hitting .300.  Did he go 0-for-1 against someone who spit the ball at him?  *intern whispers in my ear*  I see, the .298 righty/lefty splits were before last night.  You learn something gnu every day.  Spelling will be tomorrow!  Assuming Jo-Ram rebounds for his standard month in September, it’s going to be hard to be too down on him in the non-sexual way.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings and welcome back to the Mike Maher end of summer backyard bash, where we talk about our beloved top 100 hitters. I will be taking a one-week hiatus after this post as I pack up my apartment and drive 1,200 miles north from Fort Lauderdale, FL up to Pennsylvania. That’s right, the true King of the North is returning home to his roots. No more tank tops in January for me for a little while. After my one-week absence, though, I will be back to tell you how good Rhys Hoskins is. You may have heard of him by now. We focused on him last week, so we don’t have to go over him again, even though he has pretty much homered in every game since we talked about him. And for once, that isn’t even an exaggeration. Check out his game log:

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rhyses Pieces. Rhys Lightning. Hoskdongs. Whenever a prospect comes up, dominates, and produces a platter of prospective team names to stash for 2018, the triangle of fantasy happiness is complete.

We all know you – yeah, you – should’ve added Hoskins a while ago, yet due to something called “fantasy fooseball,” “fantasy football,” all your league mates think they’re too cool to add one of the hottest, non-Stanton dongers – new word – in the game. That might leave you with the messiah of mashing still lingering on your waiver wire.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s player’s weekend, ya’ll! These next few days are about letting loose and having fun and not taking this serious game so seriously. Hey, I’m really good at that! There are nicknames on the back of the jerseys and wacky cleats and bats and socks! How fun! Sign me up! The cynical side of me wants to say huge cash grab suuure, but the fact that all the proceeds go to the player’s chosen charity is kind of cool I will admit. And really who wouldn’t want a Big Smooth jersey. It’s just fun, don’t overthink it! Speaking of fun, how about owning Rhys Hoskins? The rookie hit his ninth home run last night in the first inning to become the fastest player ever to get to nine homers in his first 16 big league games! Extrapolate that! Calculating…calculating…that’s a 90 homer season! And that’s math, people! Math don’t lie. He’s now homered in six straight games hitting .385 with 16 RBI in that stretch. ALL HE DOES IS HIT HOME RUNS. Will he hit a home run in every game going forward? Probably! I don’t know! Remarkably, Rhys’ still available in about 40% of leagues but that number should be even higher by the time I finish this dot, dot, dot…sandwich! Gotcha! After jacking 67 homers in two minor leagues seasons the power is coming as no surprise, but his .283/.406/.755 slash is certainly a big plus. Grey told you to BUY and if he’s still out there in your league you need to run, not walk, to pick him up because late season call ups like this can win your fantasy league. Sadly, Hoskins isn’t rocking a nickname on the back of his jersey this weekend, but if it were up to me it’d be “All Rhys.” See what I did there? If I said it should be “Better Than Judge” would that have been clearer? Because no one is more dominant than All Rhys right now, not even that other guy.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

So it’s MLB Players Weekend, which I will admit is a legitimately great idea (of course the Cardinals have the least nicknames, because it’s a serious game played by serious people). Some players flat out nailed it – Travis Shaw with “Mayor of DDC” (that’s Ding Dong City for the uneducated), and Alex Avila with “Parkman” – google it, you’ll see the resemblance were two players that absolutely crushed the choice of what to put on the back of the jersey. That said, a few players missed out on truly great choices for the back of the jersey. First, Justin Turner – I know your twitter handle is @RedTurn2, but come on – how can you not have a nickname that references your twin brother, Tormund Giantsbane? That’s just horrible. And I understand “Chuck Nazty” is your nickname, Mr. Blackmon, but how can you not put something on the back of the jersey that references your truly amazing beard (it’s the #1 beard in baseball right now, and probably the 2nd best in all of sports, behind only this glorious mane .  Finally, while it’s great that Kyle’s referencing his brother, it could have been so much better. What if someone like Justin Upton put “The Good One” on his jersey (although Melvin might not like that)? So thinking about some of the missed opportunities got me to thinking about possible nicknames for retired players – here’s a few I came up with:

Prince Fielder – 

Randy Johnson – “R.I.P. Bird

Edgar Renteria – “Lefty-Mashing Patriarch”

Rickey Henderson – “I Am The Greatest”

Bucky Dent – “#%*@$*&”

Barry Bonds – “Ne Plus Ultra”

Anyway, you didn’t come here for nicknames (as awesome a discussion that could be), so onto the picks…

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Grey blames his dog Ted for an “employment challenged” person setting fire to his condominium complex and storage unit this weekend. My weekend was equally as exciting; I met up with a few friends for lunch. After swapping weekend tales, we start the fantasy baseball talk with Aaron Judge’s continued regression and Rhys Hoskins’ continued rise, and how they might be closer in fantasy value down the stretch and in 2018 than you might think. We also discuss Gio Gonzalez and Justin Smoak’s dominant seasons, before bringing Ralph Lifshitz on at the midway point to breakdown Chad Kuhl, Colin McHugh, Byron Buxton, and Josh Bell. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 15% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I really wish Rhys Hoskins pronounced his name “Riz” so that I could use a “Nobody Beats The Rhys” headline, but it is apparently pronounced “Reese.” Who do I talk to about making that change? Does anyone have the phone number for his parents or, better yet, his grandparents? This is important stuff here.

Anyway, added Rhys to our beloved 100 because chicks dig the long ball. While you probably haven’t had to search hard to find home runs in 2017, neither has anyone else, so it’s always good to have some more. Hoskins has big boy power, which he displayed in the minors the last few years (where he was stuck for way too long thanks to the Phillies). After hitting 38 home runs in 135 games in hitter-friendly confines in Double-A in 2016, he backed that up with 29 home runs in 115 games in Triple-A this season.

But his game isn’t all power. As a somewhat older prospect, Hoskins actually has a pretty nice approach at the plate. In Triple-A in 2017, he posted a 13.5 BB% against a 15.8 K% while slashing .284 / .385 / .581. Through his first two weeks in the show, his average is down, but everything else looks about the same. And a .154 BABIP helps explain the .237 average he woke up with on Monday morning.

So, the real bonus with Hoskins is that the power numbers come with some above-average peripherals. He might not hit .280+ the rest of the way in the bigs, but would it surprise anyone if he did? If you are in OBP or OPS leagues, even better, since he has shown that he is not afraid to take a walk. Plus, that power…

Please, blog, may I have some more?