Gleyber Torres was called up by the Yankees and here’s what I said this offseason, “My love for Gleyber is admittedly less coalesced into an actual thing than you’re gonna find from just about any Yankees fan.  “Ya godda be fahkin jokin wit me right here, kid.  Gleyber Torres is gonna be the greatest of all-time, son.  All.  Time.  I wanna coalesce my fist into ya fahkin head with your sissy-boy words.  Why don’t ya use a word like fuhgeddaboudit?  Before you answer, I need to go with my mom to have her mustache waxed.” That’s your run-of-the-mill Yankees fan.  See, Gleyber is already being fitted for Monument Park in Yankee Stadium before he even plays a game.” And that’s me quoting me!  In fantasy, he looks more like, Gley… *pinkie to mouth* bore!  He is a borderline top ten MLB prospect.  That’s the Gleyberline, even.  He was in Prospect Ralph’s top 100 fantasy baseball prospects.  The problem (it’s not much of a problem), he’s a hit tool guy first.  What does that mean?  He’s going to hit for average first.  That’s not a bad thing necessarily, but for fantasy when a guy is called up and he’s a 40+ steal or homer guy, they might have a bigger immediate impact, immaterial?  Immeasurable to immortality or immune–Okay, now I’m just IM’ing.  I would own him in any league, no matter how shallow.  There’s a chance you can do better in shallower leagues.  His outcome this year is anywhere from Orlando Arcia to Alex Bregman.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”

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Got to get down on Friday. Personally, I had some success on FanDuel yesterday and you might’ve too if you used the Razzball lineup optimizer, which led me to a Lester/Tigers/Orioles lineup for the early slate and a lineup with Jake Arrieta, Ketel Marte, and Brandon Belt in the main slate. So of course I’m riding high after yesterday and I couldn’t have a picked a better time to do so as it is 4/20. Get it? Alright, alright, alright stay tuned for more bad 4/20 jokes and my DFS research and recommendations.

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Boy, this Ohtani is all anybody’s ever talking about. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Ohtani is. I was so tempted to put Shohei Ohtani on this list. So tempted! Unfortunately he only has 30 at-bats compared to the league leader, his teammate, Albert Pujols’s 67. That’s too small of a sample size for me to overreact and 3-4 batting games per week can leave you in a hole. It is fun to see that he has a 0% soft contact rate though. But that Ohtani is some kind of something, huh?

This winter weather is messing with a lot of players. At the bottom of my top 100 you’ll see a list of hitters who shoulda, coulda, woulda been in the top 100 if they were healthy. I think most of them will return and find themselves back on the top 100 list, but for now, due to their missed games and health uncertainty — they get their own list.

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Sleepers do not have to lose their meaning after your draft is done and the season has begun. Everyone hunts the waiver wire to find that replacement for an early injury or a late round pick that has you frustrated. A pre-draft sleeper may still be hanging around to be picked up, or a player’s early performance could peak your interest. These posts will reveal those players that are hanging without a team that you’ll want to grab before anyone else notices.

Matt Boyd was a pitcher on shortlist of players I considered writing about prior to the start of the season. Mostly going undrafted, Boyd stood out as a potential deep sleeper as he’s been gradually starting more games over the last few seasons. Many managers will not find his 5+ ERA or his being a Tiger enticing. He doesn’t have a sexy K or BB rate either. Despite those concerns, Boyd may have been one of the unluckiest pitchers last season. He’s only started two games so far this season, but so far he looks to be building off of last year’s basics…

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This preseason Gregory Polanco was a Capri Sun.  Yes, the pouch drink that you need to stab 17 times to get the straw in.  Crazy, right?  What’s crazier is I have an explanation!  Ready?  Here we go, readers!  There is something just completely gross about liquids in a pouch.  Put some delicious nacho cheese in a ziplock bag.  You do not want to eat that anymore.  Seriously, cut the corner and squeeze it into your mouth.  So nasty!  An IV bag?  Yeah, that’s appetizing.  Why not grab a colostomy bag and cut out the middle man?  Bagged liquids are gross.  However — again with some stank! — HOWEVER, Capri Sun is surprisingly good.  Okay, u-turn to Polanco.  This preseason the Pirates looked like a mess.  No one really wanted any of them.  Marte had a suspension last year, but even he was kind of, “Well, he’s ranked here, so I guess I’ll take him.”  Polanco, though?  You didn’t even want him around pick 150 overall!  It was a “Hmm…Take a boring MI or Polanco” pick.  And a lot of you took Ian Kinsler instead!  Yesterday, Gregory Polanco went 2-for-5 with two more homers, and is now up to 5 homers, and, as Anime Grey said in the first Buy, Sell, Hold video, Polanco is still a buy.  Polanco is orange-flavored water in a silver pouch, the ultimate Capri Sun.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ever see something and you still don’t believe it?  You distrust your own eyes.  Well, I just saw a video of this, and I still don’t believe it:  Mookie Betts bowls better than he hits.  And he hits pretty damn good!  He rolled a perfect game yesterday vs. the Yankees (4-for-4, 5 runs, 4 RBIs, and his 2nd homer), but he also rolled a perfect game in the World Series of Bowling last November.  On Shabbos, no less!  Half of me is expecting someone to point out that it was this other cat, Mookie Betts from Virginia, who is a white guy who looks like Ed Kemper.  (By the way, you kinda know Ed Kemper reads Razzball.  You just know this.)  So, out of habit, does Mookie spray his baseball cleats?  Does he ever beat out an infield single and want to sweep out his right heel like he just threw a bowling ball?  Between innings, does he play arcade games?  How is Mookie Betts a world class bowler and not Matt Albers?!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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This is a post that isn’t about Shohei Ohtani. Welcome back to Perception Vs. Reality where we take a look at the player rater and try and find trade value or players who might be overlooked on the waiver wire. Last week we took a look at: Gregory Polanco, Matt Davidson, Tim Anderson, Cesar Hernandez, and Jose Martinez. We will bring in some fresh faces this week now that the MLB has more games under its’ belt. Also, the names up at the top are a lot different than they were last week when each team had played three games or less.

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Didi, Didi, can’t you see, sometimes your home runs hypnotize me?  Or how about, Gre-Gre-Gregorius?  Gre-Gre-Gregorius… Gregorius sung by Duran Duran or Biggie work for me.  Fun fact!  Duran Duran is the past tense of Da Doo Run Run Da Doo Run Run.  Bit a of a trivia whiz, though I did need to Google to see if it was spelled whiz or wiz.  Did you know Truvia was discovered by someone sniffing artificial sweetener off a Trivial Pursuit card?  Any hoo!  Didi Gregorius went goofy time, there’s always money in the banana stand, crying at the end of The Last American Virgin but with tears of joy, with himself yesterday — 4-for-4, 3 runs, 8 RBIs and two homers (1, 2). His first homer went 346 feet, which is almost three and half Cespedes.  I was way off Didi in the preseason, but that was almost (exactly) five games ago, let’s forget about that!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you read the title and expected this post to be an anit-MadBum rant, you’ll find your initial impression to be inaccurate. I’ve been a huge Bumgarner fan since he came into the Majors. In fact, I picked him to be this season’s National League Cy Young Award winner in the Razzball experts picks. I had to change that prediction to Stephen Strasburg after the injury for obvious reasons. Last year’s accident was one hundred percent avoidable. As much as I love him, I really hope he did not get paid for his missed time. Shame on him for riding a dirt bike. What’s next, sky diving? This year, however, was just another of the many injuries to a pitcher as a result of an unpredictable comebacker. I’m going to go out on a short limb and say that there was very little, if anything, he could have done to avoid the injury. The incident actually looked quite harmless compared to other comebackers I’ve seen over the years. My favorite was back in 2008 when Papa Grande took a line drive right off the dome piece. I can’t seem to find a good quality video, but he went down like he had been shot. The craziest part is that he ended up staying in the game and getting the save. The messed up part is that when he went down, all I could think about was the ten points I wasn’t going to get for the save. I was pissed. When he ended up staying in the game he became an instant hero.

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