If you’re experiencing a sudden case of déjà vu, you might want to schedule a visit with a neurologist. According to Wikipedia, it could be a symptom of epilepsy. Of course, if you happened to stumble upon the Adrian Beltre article that I wrote almost a year ago to the day, that would probably account for the sense of familiarity that you’re feeling at the moment. Same series, same title. It’s not laziness. I prefer to think of it as being efficient. Yes, that sounds perfectly reasonable. We’ll go with that. But why am I writing about the Rangers third baseman yet again this season? Has his production fallen off of a cliff? Has he found the fountain of youth at age 37? Has he overcome his bizarre head-touching phobia?Please, blog, may I have some more?
My wife and I have a long running joke on what’s worse, Hot Dog breath or hot dog breath? Hot dogs are a requirement for me at the ballpark, but the last time I was there, I gleaned some interesting information about the difference between the jumbo dog and the regular dog. That is, there is no difference. At least not at my local stadium, named after a terrible beer. I asked for the jumbo dog, didn’t have enough cash for it, and asked for the regular. They were the same size, except one was in silver and blue foil, the other in silver and red. I asked the woman at the counter what’s the difference? She smiled and said “nothing.” I appreciate that kind of candor and told her so; so I took my regular hot dog, covered it in mustard and onions, and enjoyed my favorite food at the ballpark.
Furthermore, the breath you get after eating a hot dog isn’t great. On the flip-side, in the middle of summer after taking the dog on a long walk, yields some strong hot dog breath. Is there a difference? Sure, but not too much. So I pop a mint, the dog takes one of those dog improving breath treats, and we move on. What did all that have to do with fantasy baseball? Uh…not much, so take the hot dog tip, avoid hot dog breath in all cases, and add Ben Paulsen to your fantasy teams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes there’s a game with so much fantasy goodness, a game with so many notable nights for so many fantasy-relevant stars, that it’s almost overwhelming to choose which players to single out. Last night, the Braves came back from 9 runs down to complete their biggest comeback since 1987 and pull within 2 1/2 of the first place Nats, winning the game 11-10. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t use the term “creeper” as a pejorative in this weekly post (after all, I’m highlighting players I think will give your teams a boost), but it still kind of feels wrong to put our subject and “creeper” in the same sentence. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all need a little wonder, so let me pose a question to you after this clunky intro. Was Matt Cain‘s perfect game the best one game pitching performance in major league history? I pose that question to you, young prematurely balding man, not to answer. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have a new leader atop the Master standings! Pig Charmer (Grunge Ball — RCL 16) completed the march to the top that began in 29th place 3 weeks ago. Beardcrabs (The Gaylords — Conshellation Prize) moved up 5 spots while Gobias Industries (Cust Kayin’) gained 11 positions to sit tied in 2nd, 1 back with 107 points. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday. One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke. And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Traditional, smarishional, am I right?
I mean, long gone are the days when your soon-to-be father-in-law would actually pay you (in sheep, no less) to take his wretched daughter off his hands.
Similarly, Razzballers are becoming masters of their own domains and kicking the traditional 5×5 fantasy baseball game to the curb. Please, blog, may I have some more?Please, blog, may I have some more?