Alright ladies and gentleman, just a forewarning this will be very brief as I am posting from 35,000 ft above the Pacific Ocean.  After a weekend of wedding festivities, I am now on my way to the land of cheese, bread, pasta, and pizza.  The beautiful country of Italy.  Let’s be honest though, there was no way I’d be able to spend my entire honeymoon without dabbling in Roto Leaders for our lovely Razzball followers.  Time change is a little confusing so let’s see if we can find a way to make this happen! Once I’m back home, I’ll be able to go more in depth, Ciao! and Eccoci qui! (Here we go)!

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I thought about going with “Yadda Yadda Yadier” as the title for this week’s rant, but I used that line last week when discussing the top catcher in fantasy baseball points leagues. While I would only be stealing from myself I wanted something new. If only Molina had homered three times last night this would have been perfect. I still think it’s good enough, and good enough is good enough for me. Speaking of “good enough”, Yadier Molina has been far better than good enough. In fact, he has been fantastic. The dude’s got 6 home runs, 16 runs batted in, a .316 batting average and 2 stolen bases to boot! With 69 points Yadier is in a league of his own at the catching position. Eat your hearts out Gary Sanchez owners! While you were busy drafting Sanchez in the third round I drafted Manny Machado. And when I drafted Molina in the 12th, you were stuck taking Paul DeJong.

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Gleyber Torres was called up by the Yankees and here’s what I said this offseason, “My love for Gleyber is admittedly less coalesced into an actual thing than you’re gonna find from just about any Yankees fan.  “Ya godda be fahkin jokin wit me right here, kid.  Gleyber Torres is gonna be the greatest of all-time, son.  All.  Time.  I wanna coalesce my fist into ya fahkin head with your sissy-boy words.  Why don’t ya use a word like fuhgeddaboudit?  Before you answer, I need to go with my mom to have her mustache waxed.” That’s your run-of-the-mill Yankees fan.  See, Gleyber is already being fitted for Monument Park in Yankee Stadium before he even plays a game.” And that’s me quoting me!  In fantasy, he looks more like, Gley… *pinkie to mouth* bore!  He is a borderline top ten MLB prospect.  That’s the Gleyberline, even.  He was in Prospect Ralph’s top 100 fantasy baseball prospects.  The problem (it’s not much of a problem), he’s a hit tool guy first.  What does that mean?  He’s going to hit for average first.  That’s not a bad thing necessarily, but for fantasy when a guy is called up and he’s a 40+ steal or homer guy, they might have a bigger immediate impact, immaterial?  Immeasurable to immortality or immune–Okay, now I’m just IM’ing.  I would own him in any league, no matter how shallow.  There’s a chance you can do better in shallower leagues.  His outcome this year is anywhere from Orlando Arcia to Alex Bregman.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Introducing the interrobang list! (You’ll find it at the bottom of the top 100.) What’s an interrobang you may be asking yourself? An interrobang essentially is a hybrid of a question mark and an exclamation point. When someone says something like “What in the world?!” You can save yourself some space and use the interrobang. “Okay cool, weirdo — how does this apply to fantasy baseball?” The interrobang list at the bottom are a few guys who didn’t make the Top 100 list proper, but are still people that are making me go “?!”

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They call Draft fantasy for the people, and why not? It’s easy as Sunday morning. Sign up at Draft.com, do a quick snake draft of 3, 4, 6 or 10 players, and get a piece of the payouts.  Here at Razzball we recommend using Value-Based Drafting (VBD) to make the most of your roster.  Using Rudy’s tools, you can easily sort values and take the projected points for the final player drafted at each position (P, IF, OF) and subtracting from all the players at that position, then re-ranking based on VBD.  In other words: Razzball will give you the inside knowledge you need to dominate your DFS opponents.

You may have experienced a little something called postponed Major League games.  And when you’re working with a small roster and every decision is vital,  the weather can be a death knell for your fantasy hopes and dreams. With that in mind, welcome to park known as Chase Field and climb on the thrill ride known as Patrick Corbin. He is tearing up the league in the early going, averaging close to 7 innings per start with 12 K/9 and a mind blowing .695 WHIP.  He is the undisputed king of starting pitchers right now and he gets the lowly Padres at his climate-controlled home in Arizona.  Corey Kluber is a great choice as well, but he’s playing in the bandbox of Baltimore.  Patrick Corbin is the 4th-ranked pitcher today on Draft, so target him in the first round or with the first pick in the second.

New to Draft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!  

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Continuing his NL-West dominance, Tyson Ross took a no-hitter into the eighth inning Friday night, allowing just one earned run off one hit (a pinch-hit Christian Walker double) and three walks while striking out ten. I’m sorry but I just completely blanked on everything you said before, “while striking out ten.” Tyson was tattooing faces and D-Backs, the 7.2 innings pitched was a season high and it took him 127 pitches to get there. He was just four outs from San Diego’s first no-hitter in ever, but nah. SAD! Another day I guess? You’ll get there, Padres. Errr. Don’t force it. Welp. Regardless, it might be premature to re-anoint Ross the ultimate hodgepadre status he achieved in 2014-2015 season when logged ERAs of 2.81 and 3.26, but things are looking promising early. Let’s face it, Texas is where pitchers go to die when Colorado’s roster is full. Just ask Bartolo Colon. Ross’ back in San Diego where he can pick up where he left off. He’s currently sporting a sparking 2.81 ERA with a 1.01 WHIP, and its the 3.21 xFIP, 23.5 K% and 6.9 BB% that got me all hyped up and mouth-punchey on Tyson. Ross will face a true test next week when he takes on the Rockies at Coors, and while I can’t recommend him for this start, I’ll be watching it closer than the Westworld premiere because robots doing human things is clearly more interesting to me than humans doing human things. Look I’m not trying to bite your ear off (zing!), I’m just suggesting you give Tyson Ross a good look. He’s available almost everywhere and he’s got the history, the ballpark and the skillz to be undisputed heavyweight champion of the world–err, I mean, hes got the skills to be a very solid starter all season long, in other words, he wants to eat your children.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88.  Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.”  Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.”   Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.”  Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.”  Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be.  In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare.  One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill.  Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation.  How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner?  No?  Okay.”  And that’s me quoting me!  One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason.  It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs.  Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Baseball season eh? Are they going to play any? Am I right? It’s not all bad, they still have to make up the games so it should lead to more full slates and double headers. Hopefully more full slates, I’m not a big fan of the double header. Who likes to see 1-8 with a run scored next to a player for the day? Life is full of disappointments elsewhere, leave baseball alone. Like we did in the first two weeks, we are going to look at the player rater and find some gold that your league mates might be under appreciating more than you under appreciate prestige television like The Americans.

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The Indians and Twins set sail for the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico to rid themselves of the cold weather.  Puig should really be from there, because white people pronounce each similarly awful.  “Welcome to Pwwwwwayto Rico!”  This was a homecoming for Francisco Lindor (1-for-5, 2 RBIs) and he promptly hit his 2nd homer, a moonshot that went about 275 feet (but, hey, it counts).  Also, taking advantage of the short fences was Michael Brantley (3-for-5, 2 RBIs, 1st homer), Jose Ramirez (3-for-5, 4th homer) and Yonder Alonso (1-for-4, 3rd homer).  The video of Lindor going around the bases is all that dem feels that baseball does right.  How does baseball not have a team in Puerto Rico?  Talk about something that is so obvious you have to be as ignorantly run as MLB to not see it as plain as day.  Move the fences back 25 feet in Hiram Bithorn Stadium, switch out the fungo bats for mofongo and let that star shine!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Boy, this Ohtani is all anybody’s ever talking about. I’m so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Ohtani is. I was so tempted to put Shohei Ohtani on this list. So tempted! Unfortunately he only has 30 at-bats compared to the league leader, his teammate, Albert Pujols’s 67. That’s too small of a sample size for me to overreact and 3-4 batting games per week can leave you in a hole. It is fun to see that he has a 0% soft contact rate though. But that Ohtani is some kind of something, huh?

This winter weather is messing with a lot of players. At the bottom of my top 100 you’ll see a list of hitters who shoulda, coulda, woulda been in the top 100 if they were healthy. I think most of them will return and find themselves back on the top 100 list, but for now, due to their missed games and health uncertainty — they get their own list.

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