Here’s what I said last year, “We’re gonna find out if the top 20 shortstops are as Ken Bonerific as the top 20 2nd basemen. Hint: they are. Damn, I gotta work on building suspense. That hint pretty much gives the whole kit away and tacks the kaboodle onto its back as it’s walking out the door. Goodbye, kit and kaboodle, I just gave you away for nothing.” And that’s me quoting me! This year? Not so much. Without further Machado, to recap, this final ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2017 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know how they say think about baseball to make sex last longer? Okay, so I was thinking, to make the baseball season last longer do we think about baseball? Maybe we think about sex. This is a riddle for the Sphinx! I saw Chris Sale struck out his 300th batter of the season, and I got a pit in my stomach. I mean, I know the season’s quickly approaching its French end title, “Fin,” but it still bums me out like a mid-20’s Evan Gattis. Yesterday, Chris Sale went 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 13 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.75. He became the first Red Sox player to record 300 Ks in a season since Pedro Martinez in 1999. And Pedro had his good luck charm, little person, Nelson de la Rosa! Well, I guess Sale does have Pedroia. You look at Sale’s peripherals and you kinda wanna drool — 12.9 K/9, 1.8 BB/9, 2.62 xFIP, and averaging 94 MPH on his fastball. His K-rate is the third best for a starter since 1900. Okay, so maybe Kluber doesn’t win the Cy Young. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, on the last day of his H2H playoffs, Flavor Flav’s fantasy baseball team, “Yeah Boyd!!!” had a day to remember. Fun fact! Flavor Flav also plays fantasy baeball, drafting Hoopz, New York and Pumkin in the first round was the way to go, so surprising to see him take Brandi, who wasn’t even in Flavor of Love but on Rock of Love. Rookie mistake! Or maybe I should say roofie mistake. So, yesterday, Matt Boyd went 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.33, losing his no-hitter with two outs in the 9th inning. He throws a handful of pitches, literally. Five in total: fastball (92 MPH), cutter, slider (slutter?), change and curve. His arsenal is nothing to boot (footy pun!). Of course, five pitches that are all garbage isn’t exactly the meow’s cat. As of yesterday, only his curve was a plus pitch. He is only 26 years old, so maybe a 5.00 xFIP doesn’t give the whole picture/pitcher (stutterer!). Of course, at this time of the year, only his next start matters, and the Stream-o-Nator actually has it as the smallest of positives. So, you got it, Flav, “Yeah, Boyd!!!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s a common term sociologists use called, The Tide of Uze. Everything that encompasses everyday life is on The Tide of Uze. Brushing your teeth, walking your dog, Jose Abreu, they’re all on The Tide of Uze. There’s small pleasures to be found with them, but they’re so consistent they are often lost amongst other more exciting things. However, this past weekend The Tide of Uze was raised by Irma GAWD!, the fantasy football kickoff and me going to a Dodgers game with Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, a frequent commenter who was in town. I didn’t rank those per their importance, I’ll leave that to you. Big weekend for the world, right? (Yes.) With the Tide of Uze raising, it lifts everything that was floating on its surface, which meant Jose Abreu had a career weekend. On Saturday, he hit for the cycle, and, not to be outdone, he homered twice on Sunday (2-for-3, 3 RBIs, home run, 30 and 31). His season numbers are now 85/31/90/.302/1. All preseason I talked about how I wasn’t getting a 1st baseman in the first two rounds, so I was drafting Abreu everywhere, and I was nervous about it. Let’s just say I’ve learned to appreciate The Tide of Uze. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lance McCullers (back) is back in action on Wednesday, making his first start since July as he comes off the disabled list. Starting a pitcher in their first outing back is always risky, but if McCullers is back on his game, he will be incredibly effective at a price of $7,600. It seems like he should be able to throw a full start, as he went five innings and 60 pitches in his last rehab outing. For a pitcher with a 10.05 K/9 and 2.94 FIP, a price this low feels insane. McCullers is a no-brainer in GPP formats.
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Doh! A deer, a female deer and also what the Dodgers say. Ray, a drop of golden filth. Me, a name I call myself who owns J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray. Fa, a long long way to run if a Bostonian is saying far. SO another name for strikeouts. LA is where the game took place. Ti I dribble down my face, when J.D. Martinez and Robbie Ray play. Yesterday, Ray went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 14 Ks, ERA down to 2.80. Robbie Ray is an ace. No matter how you slice that pecan pie, he’s an ace. No matter how you put that pancake batter on the skittle. No matter how you put whipped cream in my mouth. My God, I’m so hungry. Cougs has got me doing this Whole30 diet and I’m legit about to eat my hand. At Endorphin Ralph’s top 100 starters for this week, Ray’s ranked 6th. Can’t argue that, and last night he dunked all over the LA K’ers. Then, J.D. Martinez got my goosepimples all a-titter. He went 4-for-5, 6 RBIs with his 31st, 32nd, 33rd and 34th homer. Someone has to Just Dong, so who better than Just Dong? Who?! Sorry, I’m writing this wearing an owl costume. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
First, happy Labo(u)r (the “u” is for us Canadians) Day weekend! Second, let me join the chorus of bewilderment around me: how in the actual F (and I don’t mean Jef with 1 F) is it September? Mind you, I’m happy it is. The heat can go to hell. Seriously, I used to live in southern Africa and was never as hot as I am here, living in the eastern bit of North America. Bah humbug. Close the door: you’re letting the cold out. Get off my lawn. Etc. But back to baseball! We’re staring down the home stretch now, and whether you’re happy (Dodgers fans!) or you’re not (Jays fans. … sigh), there’s a little flurry of excitement at this time of year, what with the shiny (or not so shiny) new September call-ups, and the fact that FanDuel may not notice, so these players’ prices may be low, and you may (this is a lot of “may”s, I know. It’s a may-September romance) be able to slip some bargains into your lineups today while saving cash for big Coors bats and good pitching. (Finally! Good pitching options on a Saturday! Kluber! Scherzer! Archer! Lester! I hardly knew her!)
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
When does the trend end for the path of articles that trend in the direction for Bux-ton? Weirdly enough, he shares the same name as the guy who stole Pee-Wee Herman’s bike, pretended to hide it in the Alamo, and then in the end got what he deserved. I wish I had some genius follow-up to that haymaker of a comparison, but there is more in the world of steals than some Minnesota Twin who is actually not a twin but quite possibly an only child. So ignoring the greater northern Midwest, as there are other things going on in steals-ville. Ahhh, who am I kidding, the world needs another Byron Buxton article. I have only seen 42 in the past three days across the fake baseball world, so one more should summarize it nicely. The dude is straight up sizzlin’ right now. If it’s not Hoskins, it has to be Byron. If you don’t know his stats over the past fortnight… well here they are anyways: batting .345 with 9 runs and 5 steals. This is the speed portion of the Buxton love affair, so the taters and other starchy stats aren’t included, sorry. It’s the end of year SAGNOF grab who you can and will drool all over… the fancy guys that you don’t own in the concessionary drooling steals/saves session. Let’s see what else is going down in the lower ownership SAGNOF ship of love!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The truth is, I don’t give a shit whether you like tapes or CDs. You like what you like and that’s what you like. Besides, you probably prefer vinyl, which has seen a resurgence in the past several years. However, according to some sources, cassette tapes are also making a small comeback. In 2016 cassette sales increased by 74 percent, bringing total sales to 129,000 units. If you’re thinking “who cares”, I’m with you. If I’m being honest, I just needed a few sentences about tapes and CDs to tie the title to the post, and eventually throw Didi Gregorius a mention. No time like the present to get that out of the way…
Take me on in the Razzball Commenter Leagues for a chance at prizes! Free to join, leagues still open!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rich Hill threw a perfect game yesterday — he pitched into the tenth inning and didn’t get a blister. Are we measuring perfect games for Rich Hill differently now? I thought that was his standard. How about this? Rich Hill threw a perfect game through nine innings if Logan Forsythe would’ve stayed down on a grounder to third, which leaves Forsythe with nothing but hindsight. The irony is thick like Nicki Minaj. Yesterday, Rich Hill went 9 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 10 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.32; his only blemish was a tenth-inning, lead-off, walk-off home run by Josh Harrison, oh, that spoil sport. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?