*fumbles with an envelope, Hillary Swank stands next to me, watching on, embarrassed for me*¬† And the Teoscar goes to…Teoscar Hernandez!¬† Hillary Swank leans into the microphone, “Well, he was the only one nominated.”¬† Ugh, totally unnecessary Swank!¬† I should’ve pointed out how she was checking out Hugh Jackman’s wife the entire time on stage.¬† I picked up Teoscar before yesterday’s game for the runs because he was leading off, I never expected such a windfall of gorge.¬† He went 2-for-5, 4 RBIs with his 6th and 7th homer in only his 73rd at-bat.¬† That’s 20 hits total for him, with seven going gonzo.¬† This is better than Million Dollar Baby!¬† Yeah, I hope Hillary Swank’s Google alerts are going bizzonkers today.¬† Not ready to announce my love for Teoscar for next year, I am more of an IFP Spirit Awards guy, but you have to grab Teoscar for these final days.¬† Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When you were a kid, did you ever receive a formal invitation and it was addressed like this, “Master Albright?” ¬†Okay, now think about Harrison Bader getting a formal invite. ¬†I’m dead. ¬†That legit made me laugh for twenty minutes. ¬†I stopped midway to breath from an oxygen tank, but a full twenty minutes, nevertheless. ¬†Imagine this: ¬†Mom, “Harrison, come here and open your auntie’s wedding invite?” ¬†“Why does it say, Master Bader?” ¬†Dad, “You’ll know in a few years, son.” ¬†Not to mention, Master makes every little boy sound like the kid in The Toy. ¬†S’lame! ¬†I don’t even want to Google the origins for calling a boy, Master, because it’s prolly hella racist. ¬†Any hoo! ¬†Harrison Bader is playing every day, but the Cards do have 19 outfielders to juggle, so he’s not 100% guaranteed. ¬†He is hitting for power and average, and at the top of the lineup. ¬†With the Cards trying to make the playoffs, they’re putting their best lineup on the field and Bader has been a part of that. ¬†Even if Master Bader sounds like he wouldn’t play well with others. ¬†Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! ¬†Before we get into the Buy, I just wanted to mention our Fantasy Football tools. ¬†Freudian, because this is my Buy and this would be your buy? ¬†P to the erhaps. ¬†But no purchase necessary, there’s a 7-day free trial, so you can give them a whirlybird for the first week if you like. ¬†Anyway II, the Buy/Sell:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Watching Luis Castillo is officially an ASMR trigger. ¬†*insert onomatopoeia of satisfied exhale, picks up invisible fork and knife, mimes cutting up satisfied exhale, eats exhale* ¬†Do you see how Castillo’s got me? ¬†I’m eating satisfied exhales. ¬†Can I write the 2018 fantasy baseball sleeper post right now for Luis Castillo? ¬†TFW you see Castillo: ¬†Insert Oprah’s o face around Gayle King. ¬†CASTILLO MAKING ME CRAZY! ¬†And not eating sugar for six days isn’t helping. ¬†This Whole30 Diet got me like: ¬†insert crazy-googly eyes. ¬†I got Biggie Smalls eyes right now. ¬†*smacks face* ¬†Be coherent, Grey! ¬†Sorry, about that. ¬†Yesterday, Luis Castillo went 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.12. ¬†His surface perfs: ¬†9.9 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.40 xFIP, averages 98 MPH, and now I’m lightheaded again. ¬†Okay, need to save something for his 2018 sleeper post. ¬†As for this year, this was his last start, unless you count Strat-o-Matic starts I’m making with him all winter. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ariel Miranda pitched a no-hitter yesterday through six innings and 112 pitches that had to be the worst six-inning no-hitter in baseball history. ¬†Shame the M’s removed him before he gave up a hit, because this could’ve been an epic debacle — depicacle? ¬†Remember those Hall of Shame books from the 1980’s that always featured at least one anecdote about Steve Lyons? ¬†Usually that anecdote was of him undressing at first base. ¬†Somehow that largely visual gag was depicted in literary prose in these books. ¬†If they still had those books, Ariel Miranda’s six-inning no-hitter would’ve had a chapter. ¬†He went 6 IP, 1 ER, zero hits, six walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.72. ¬†Only thing that was missing was him taking his pants off on the mound or clowning around with Max Patkin. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who doesn’t love them some BOGO sales? Girls love them, hell even flamboyant fake baseball players like it. ¬†I prefer the pun value in them better than buying two pairs of shoes, only of which I need one. ¬†Which leads us to Javier Baez. ¬†I equate him to that sushi roll that you aren’t sure that you like and don’t exactly know what’s in it. ¬†Like a Ahi Tuna special, but in a baseball hat. ¬†Entering play (as of me writing this) he had 21 Homers and 9 steals. ¬†Not fantastic by any stretch of the SAGNOF variety, but I wanna see if there is more juice to squeeze out of the North Side orange. ¬†We are fully entrenched in the here and now of fantasy, but always need to be looking to next year. ¬†So with his uptick in speed over the past eight games (3 steals), making everyone aware of their surroundings in the SAGNOF world seemed like a good spot to write about Javy for the first time this year. ¬†Batting average is not what you want him to be a stalwart on your team, but the 21 taters with 12-15 stolen base potential with SS, 2B and 3B eligibility heading into next year, he is someone with name value that you may want to ask to your fantasy prom. ¬†Enough with the debate about Baez for now and later, let’s get to the Stealers and Savers for the week… ¬†Good luck down the stretch lads!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Maybe because I am not Prospector Ralph aka Endorphin Ralph aka The Prospector aka Prospect Jesus aka Peter, Paul and ‘I Know Prospects’ Mary Well aka The Pro-Spectulator aka I Am Still Not Beating Grey In Our League And Grey Beat Me To Waivers For Rhysus aka No, You’re Minor, I’m Major, But I Know Minors Just Not Like That aka Ralph Lifshitz, but this year’s September call-ups are kinda sad. ¬†Do I like Jack Flaherty? ¬†Sure, Flaherty is must SCTV! ¬†But he’s kinda more to do with matchups. ¬†Tyler Glasnow? ¬†Well, more on him in this afternoon’s Buy column. ¬†Willie Calhoun? ¬†Great, but where does he play? ¬†Harrison Bader and Franklin Barreto? ¬†Haven’t we gone down that road already? ¬†I would absolutely grab any September call-up if he was helping me in a redraft league, but the choice between Willie Calhoun platooning and, say, Howie Kendrick playing? ¬†Kendrick all day, and twice on Muesday, that magical day between Monday and Tuesday. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As oft-misheard lyric is, “Eddie, are you okay? ¬†Are you okay, Eddie?” ¬†For those millennials who are reading, misheard lyrics were lyrics you thought you were hearing in songs before you could just Google, “[song name] lyrics.” ¬†For 25 years, people went around singing, “I can see clearly now Lorraine is gone,” and were just happy to be rid of Lorraine! ¬†R.E.M.’s It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) was just a chorus and four minutes of jumbled words, and that…sounded…fine! ¬†So, is Eddie Rosario okay, or is he just okay Eddie? ¬†Yesterday, Rosario went 2-for-5, 4 RBIs with his 17th homer as he hits over .400 in the last week. ¬†Some notes about Eddie: ¬†he’s gone hitless in only two games in August; has five steals to go with the 17 homers; is hitting .303; has a .209 ISO which is tied for 56th in baseball; and now hits at the top of the order. ¬†He should be grabbed in all leagues, and, I’m moving close to him becoming my 2018’s Max Kepler. ¬†*inhales deeply* ¬†Ah, the sweet smell of embarrassment. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I‚Äôm starting to think there‚Äôs a conspiracy on my FanDuel Saturdays: this is the 3rd? 4th? week in a row where the pitching options are either expensive or dismal or both. But we do have an @ARI game, huzzah: the Cubs are taking on the Diamondbacks. [Sidebar: this sounds like a nature movie in which a baby bear tries gamely, vainly, to defend his wounded mother from the evil snake, while everyone in the audience cries. (Sub-sidebar: I have a friend who tells me I always take things to the dark place.)] The Brewers have a good match-up at home versus Scott Feldman, too. Thus, we DFS warriors will make do as we can on the pitching front (Hyun-Jin Ryu, $8,200: I‚Äôm looking at you) and otherwise stack like the stacking great bastards we are.
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot¬†for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us¬†before jumping into the fray. It‚Äôs how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
First, a story. ¬†There was a young boy named Donkey Dong Jr. who worked at the barrel station of Niagara Falls. ¬†He would rent barrels to tourists who wanted to go over the waterfalls in a barrel that was deemed to flimsy to hold wine in Napa Valley. ¬†Then, one day, Robert Juiced Manfred showed up at his barrel station with a truck filled with baseballs that he was bringing back over the border from Guatemala. ¬†See, he drove north from Guatemala, and Waze had him detour through Canada and back into the U.S.–Nevertheless! ¬†R.J. Manfred stopped for some pop, and Donkey Dong Jr. said, “You’ve come to the right place,” and grabbed a barrel with his hands, swung it as hard as he could and hit every baseball in that truck 5,000 feet right back to Guatemala. ¬†For pop, Donkey Dong Jr. said, “I love to barrel up.” ¬†Fin. ¬†So,¬†Joey Gallo was the lead buy in an April Buy column. ¬†Don’t like to double up on guys in a year, but here we are because you people are slow as molasses dripping down Robert De Niro’s face in Awakenings. ¬†Gallo has 50-homer power, and is currently in some kind of zone not seen since McGwire stopped sticking needles into pre-peach-tinted Sammy Sosa. ¬†How is he not owned in 50% of leagues? ¬†Don’t answer, grab him! ¬† Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
First things first: go grab Cameron Maybin; he‚Äôs just been activated from the DL and is only 41% owned in RCLs at time of writing. More on him later.
Right, now that we‚Äôve got that out of the way, here‚Äôs some proper preambling. Unbelievably, we are somehow in mid-August. The evenings are dropping in earlier. Those cruel ‚Äúback to school‚ÄĚ ads are in full swing. And we‚Äôre staring the 11 August trade deadline in the face ‚ÄĒ for the Razzball Commenter Leagues (RCLs), anyway. If you haven‚Äôt yet dropped dead of attrition, it‚Äôs time to go for it; time to take a long, hard look at categories where you still might catch up with competitors in your leagues. This week, Dr. Easy ‚ÄĒ my partner in fantasy baseball and other crimes ‚ÄĒ and I thought we‚Äôd comb through the Razzball Season-to-Date Player Rater (STD PR) with a particular focus on the categories of runs and RBIs. I.e. (ooh! She‚Äôs trotting out the Latin!), some surprisingly high scorers in these categories, whom you might target in trades (or off the waiver wire).
The Football Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open to join. Compete against your favorite writers and other readers for free, with a chance for multiple prizes!Please, blog, may I have some more?