King Salomon Brothers, the overseer of the Iron Bank, was mortgaging castles that he shouldn’t have been and fighting to get repaid, so he decided to sell his crown that was bespeckled in quinoa and Boca Burgers.  The crown itself was worth more than all castles together.  The world could be saved of economic ruin if the crown could get safely to the world’s largest pawn broker, Wei-Yin Chains.  Unable to leave the kingdom himself, King Salomon Brothers gave Prince Fielder the crown, entrusting it to his overweight son, knowing if there was one person not interested in the healthy adornments on the crown it would be he.  Unfortunately, heavy is the neck that wears Prince’s crown, and he gobbled up the crown like he gobbled up all the fantasy trust I put in him when I drafted this man the size of four horses.  Goddammit!  Dubya tee eff, doode!  You can’t put on a neck brace and get up to bat?  Shoot some cortisone is your cellulite!  DAH!!!  The only positive in this travesty that has befallen the fattest POS in the seven kingdoms?  You’ll get to drop him!  Fielder exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, I hate you.  Sincerely, Your Drafter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Daniel Robertson -1-for-2 but left after colliding hard into Rios’s knee.  He passed the Rangers concussion test which was this series of questions: 1) Does Prince Fielder resemble a massive turd like Chet from Weird Science?  2) If you have a train going 80 miles per hour and it’s traveling 200 miles to run over Prince Fielder, how long until the train hits him? 3) There’s no 3.

Shin-Soo Choo – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer and 2nd homer in as many games.  Now he just needs to play first base and have Rick Baker put him in The Nutty Professor costume and he’ll be a perfect Fielder replacement.

Chris Gimenez – 4-for-5, 1 RBI.  Nice day at the plate, which is similar but not quite the same as Prince Fielder that just spends days at a plate.

Mitch Moreland – 0-for-4, 1 run.  Filling in for Fielder, which you would think would require him to drink fifty gallons of gravy.  Okay, I’m done with Fielder.  Dah!!!  Okay, now I really am done.  Moreland is a worthy replacement in deeper leagues, where your choices look like you after purple drank.

Yu Darvish – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  His Ks are off a little this year but they are still over 10+ per nine and his ERA is 2.35, so complaining about it is like complaining the lottery commission paid you out $156 million in singles.  Go to the strip club and stop bothering me.

Jurickson Profar – Was shut down after aggravating his shoulder.  He’s now two to three months away, but I wouldn’t expect anything from him.  This does extend Odor’s leash.  Now someone who knows how to hit major league pitching needs to warg into Odor’s body.

Robbie Ray – 3 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  The only bright spot from the mound yesterday for the Tigers was Danny Worth, the outfielder, pitched, and threw a knuckler!  Position players pitching is always a highlight.  It’s like a cat playing a piano.  Then a position player throwing a knuckler is like a cat playing a piano in a bar and taking requests.  Does it get better?  Rhetorical!

Chase Utley – 2-for-4, 1 run, hitting .337.  He’s currently the third best hitter in the NL.  I’ll give you a hundred guesses who’s number two.  Hint:  rhymes with Theth Thith.

Cole Hamels – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Pop quiz, hotshot:  Who is clapping out-of-sync to Lionel Richie, Cole Hamels or Marlee Matlin?  I’m guessing Hamels.

Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer, and 2nd in as many games.  OZUNA sound trumpets, OZUNA play Kenny Loggins, OZUNA in doge’r zone.

Henderson Alvarez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Not as Shiba Inu’ey as some other exciting Marlin players, but has been effective.  Unfortch, put effective in your hand and upside in your other hand and you have two empty hands since they are simply words.

Grant Balfour – 1 IP, 1 ER and his 2nd blown save.  He’s been getting hit around pretty miserably (5.89 ERA, more walks than Ks), but I would be surprised if Joe Maddon made a move to replace him.  With that said (reversal time!), I did grab Joel Peralta in one league.

Alex Cobb – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Welcome back, my lovely!  Sometimes I’ll take my iPad to bed and ask my Cougar if she wants to see my Cobb and then I’ll open up my fantasy team and show her.  It’s quite erotic.  For me.

Sonny Gray – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks as he pitched against the aforementioned Cobb.  This was me watching this game.  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, snack, yes, yes, yes, mustache grooming, yes, yes, yes, not another C.J. Wilson commercial, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.  And, of course, my two novios both got a no decision.  Still, yes, yes, yes.

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Red Sox, ERA is at 2.16.  “Winning the AL Cy Young has been a true honor.  I’d like to thank my inspiration, another great Blue Jays pitcher, Pat Hentgen.  I hope to one day follow in your footsteps and have an unnamed job in an unnamed city.”

Melky Cabrera – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 8th homer.  Is it me or does it feel like he should have, like, a dozen homers?  Doesn’t it feel like I mention him every day?  Get a room!  Hmm, that doesn’t work as well when you’re talking about yourself.

Jose Bautista – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer.  A show of hands of how many people would be shocked if it was revealed all this time steroids were legal in Canada.  Okay, only one hand and that guy was just asking to go to the bathroom.

Jon Lester – 6 1/3 IP, 7 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks vs. the Blue Jays.  Right now, opposing pitchers are giving up five earned runs just looking at Edwin Encarnacion.

Xander Bogaerts – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer.  Only another six homers and five steals by tomorrow and the preseason hype from the Sons of Sam Horn will make sense.

Chris Sale – 6 IP, 0 ER, 1 baserunner, 10 Ks as he was activated from the DL.  As frequent commenter, Big League Wood, said, “Yankees ran up Sale’s pitch count by striking out.”  As diabolical a plan that was ever hatched!  I never really have any doubts about Sale’s ability to be unhittable, my problem is with his ability to stay on the field.

Ronald Belisario – 1 IP, 2 ER and the save.  He’s picking up right where Lindstrom left off!  Ventura seems like an old school manager that will stand by his choice for closer, no matter how wretched he looks so I’d still only speculate on Ronald Very-sorry-yo.

David Phelps – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  But how did Buhner pitch?!  Phelps has a bit of a control problem, and is likely to get hit around on occasion while supplying decent Ks.

George Springer – Out with an injured hip, but said he could’ve played yesterday, and then Shakira turned her chair around and said his hips don’t lie.  It was all rather amusing, then I took a nap.

Santiago Casilla – Has a Grade 2 hamstring strain.  Santiago will rest on his Carac-ass in front of the Montevideo and eat Lima beans out of his Chile and fart out some not that Buenos Aires.  The preceding was brought to you by the South American Chapter of Razzball (SACR, pronounced like soccer).

Matt Cain – Has a Grade 1 hamstring strain.  He’s hopeful to make his next start and I’m hopeful too since I don’t own him and would like to see him get hit again.

LaTroy Hawkins – He’s still the closer, but he’s looked like, well, LaTroy Hawkins, so there could be a change in the works.  Yesterday, Walt Weiss gave Hawkins the dreaded vote of confidence.  The last closer to withstand a vote of confidence from his manager was Al Hrabosky in 1975.  It could be Rex Brothers or Adam Ottavino who replaces him, or a combo of Brothers/Ottavino, which sounds like it should only be picked up at BevMo when it’s marked down 75%.  Brucely, I don’t look forward to owning Brothers or Ottavino, and haven’t yet grabbed either.

Carlos Gonzalez – Didn’t play yesterday in the rain suspended game because he can’t grip a bat due to his finger.  Um, yeah, sad stuff.  Any hoo!  Corey Dickerson got the start yesterday and stands to gain more playing time if CarGo can’t, uh, go.  Dickerson won’t be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he could’ve been.

Carlos Gomez – Out of the lineup yesterday due to a sore back.  Daniel Powter would say it’s a sad day to be a CarGo.  Then Daniel Powter would return to his job at McDonald’s.

Jean Segura – 3-for-5, 2 runs and his 9th steal as he leadoff.  He was only on top of the lineup because CarGomez was out.  In related news, I have pins stuck deep into my CarGomez voodoo doll.  C’mon, let Segura get a taste!  Just a nibble!  A shot of Rooster hot sauce on that fantasy value!  Please!

Ryan Braun – Re-injured his oblique and is likely headed to the DL.  I don’t believe in heaven or hell or karma or kaftwa.  In fact, I just made up kaftwa.  But PEDs help a player to stay healthy and I have to think the lack of them is doing the opposite for Braun.

Aaron Harang – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Not great, but I’ve seen uglier.  Harang, for instance.

B.J. Upton – 1-for-3 and his 4th homer.  If you grabbed B.J. for the batty call, I’m envious.  I remember those days before I was married.

Justin Turner – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer.  He’s taking over for Uribe at third base and to explain Turner, I’ll say he’s a downgrade from Uribe.

Eric Campbell – 0-for-3, 1 RBI, which is whatever, but more importantly he started a game pitched by a tough righty (Greinke).  He might be pushing Krispie to the bench, and could have some speed/pop for very deep leagues.  I’m not yet picking him up in most mixed leagues, but I’m watching him like a cyclops with a monocle.

Jon Niese – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 2.70.  I usually only look at the Stream-o-Nator for guys that aren’t owned in most leagues, but I feel like with Niese I have to.  Any hoo!  The Nose has a solid next start, and should sniff out another quality start.

Tommy Hunter – Hits the Disgraceful List.  Joe Torre said, “Tommy Hunter is to Mariano Rivera as Buck Showalter’s ability to manage the Yankees is to mine.”  The salvo has been fired!  Zach Britton looks right-o, mate, for a non-blimey time on the ol’ twigs and berries save trolley.  Pretty good at British slang, huh?  You’re welcome.  I’d also own Darren O’Day in some deeper league in case Britton doesn’t work out, but O’Day didn’t do himself any favors yesterday giving up a homer to Chisenhall.

Manny Machado – Left yesterday’s game with groin tightness.  Earmuffs!

Ryan Flaherty – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer.  Nothing will top the job Flaherty did as the dad on Freaks and Geeks.

Justin Masterson – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  The good news is you dropped him already.  Oh, you didn’t?  Oh, my bad.

Michael Bourn – 3-for-6, 1 run.  As said yesterday, Bourn is hot shcmotato’ing around, but not stealing as much as you’d like.  Still worth a pick up if you need average and runs.

Ryan Raburn – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer, hitting .198.  He’s not great by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s not this bad either.  Or eyethurr if Mystikal is reading.  I could see Raburn stringing together a nice hot streak.  Or nice grab if you Raburn’d before reading.

Carlos Santana – 2-for-6, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  For about six weeks, he was Jerry, George and Elaine wandering around a parking garage.  But just maybe he’s Carlos no more, he is Carfound!

Michael Brantley – 2-for-6, 2 runs, 1 RBI.  Nothing special.  I mean, nothing special for Michael F**king Brantley!

Robbie Erlin – Hit the DL with a sore elbow, because it was a short schedule day and the Fantasy Baseball Overlord had to DL at least one pitcher.

Seth Smith – 1-for-3 and his 6th homer.  Thethtacular!

Anthony Rizzo – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer.  Padre fans were unimpressed with their once coveted prospect.  Pitching wins games and they have Yonder Alonso at first and pinot grigio in their glasses.

Junior Lake – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and now hitting near-.370 in the last week.  Cubs look like they’re realizing what the rest of us knew 6 weeks ago, Lake should play every day.  Whether they will suddenly forget this, I don’t know, but I could see adding him in mixed leagues.

Jake Arrieta – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.33 in Petco. Has been — not has-been, but not far off — solid in Ks in his 19 1/3 IP this year, but I’d want to see a lot more, and wouldn’t go near him outside of NL-Only leagues.

Wandy Rodriguez – Designated for assignment.  The assignment is for ESPN to find a more apt cut-off line to judge starters by.

Ike Davis – 1-for-4.  I actually picked up Ike Davis to fill-in for Prince Fielder on one team, then I started crying and I rage-dropped Davis.  When cooler heads prevailed, I re-picked up Davis, then I was overcome with anger and I rage-threw my computer out the window.  Then, from my backyard, I picked up Chris Parmelee.

Edinson Volquez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  How many times are we gonna fall for the ol’ banana in the ol’ tailpipe?

Ian Desmond – 1-for-3 and his 8th homer, hitting .234.  Shin on you crazy Desmond!  He’s not this dreadful, and I could see a buying opportunity.  Now flap your wings, little Razzballer, and make your fantasy papa proud.

Wilson Ramos – 2-for-4, hitting .184.  Also should be better, but I have serious concerns about how fast he came back from his broken hamate bone.  It’s the kind of injury that might’ve zapped his power, and that’s not the good kind of Zapped with Chachi using his telekinesis to lift skirts.

Oscar TaverasCards said it’s likely he gets called up on June 4th.  Hold on, I need to call my tailor to take out my inseam.  The Cards are a mysterious organization when it comes to playing rookie bats, so he might just get called up when the Cards are in AL parks during interleague from June 4th thru 11th.  The way they’re yanked Wong around (pun noted and intended), I wouldn’t be surprised to see Taveras called up to only play for a week then get demoted, but he’s a game-changing type bat that is worth stashing.  He is batting .322 in Triple-A after all.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but you can grab him now, since I just say to come back and read this anyway.

Allen Craig – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .239.  Over/under for him hitting .280?  June 20th?

Matt Carpenter – 1-for-4, 1 RBI, hitting .266, ranked after Brett Lawrie on our Player Rater in the 200’s.  There was one man in the noise that told you to not draft Crapenter.  One man with a mustache as thick and luscious as a recently combed Persian cat.  One man.  (Don’t even get me started on Ellsbury, Kipnis and Mauer.)

Lance Lynn – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks as he was pulled after 89 pitches, because Mike Matheny is playing to win games and not fantasy championships, which is stoopid.

Mike Moustakas – Demoted to the minors.  As he left the clubhouse, he said, “You won’t have Mostsuckass to kick around anymore!  And stop calling me Mostsuckass!  Mostasuckass out.  Literally.”

 
    • Count de Monetball says:
      (link)

      @Malicious Phenom: take your “first” back to yahoo!

        • gobiggreen says:
          (link)

          @Malicious Phenom: you take your not sure’s and stick them in a can buddy

        • Hose Son says:
          (link)

          @Malicious Phenom: It means that Razzball, while not snooty or overly serious or anything, is definitely also not typically filled with the sort of silly commenters such as you find on Yahoo sites who obsessively try to be the first comment for some confusing reason.

          • Toe Knee Arm Ass says:
            (link)

            @Hose Son: makes them special

            • @Toe Knee Arm Ass: OK I get ya..I see it on here all the time so i thought being first was suppose to be cool or something..Obviously, NOT…

              • JeF With 1 F says:
                (link)

                @Malicious Phenom: This might be the dumbest conversation i have ever read

                • goodfold2 says:
                  (link)

                  @JeF With 1 F: just wanted to bring up that this silly b.s. goes on a LOT at espn too. (pretty sure it originated there)

                  • Jay

                    Jay says:
                    (link)

                    @goodfold2: Pretty sure it started on AICN. Which kinda speaks volumes…

  1. picard56 says:
    (link)

    First.

    Grey, to help beat you Prince Fielder blues, just put on Bob Seger’s ‘turn the page’.
    ‘Here I am, scavenging the waiver wire.
    Here I go, I picked up Juan Francisco…
    Turn the page…’

    • Bump Bailey's Ghost says:
      (link)

      @picard56:
      Ugh. I have Francisco too. I added him when Fielder missed his first game and he’s played what? Two games? This season.. It has not been kind to me.
      In related news, I also grabbed Jon Singleton (go Stros!) for a hopeful homer call-up pickup.

      • Toe Knee Arm Ass says:
        (link)

        @Bump Bailey’s Ghost: Francisco hasn’t been starting against Lhsp. so he won’t start today or Monday

        • picard56 says:
          (link)

          @Toe Knee Arm Ass:

          I am gonna platoon Francisco with Morneau. I will only start Francisco when he is at home and faces at least 5 righties during the week. I already have Vmart at utility. So far I’ve totally forgotten about Fielder. Turn the page…

        • Bump Bailey's Ghost says:
          (link)

          @Toe Knee Arm Ass:
          I know this. It only adds to the pain. At least he crushes RHP.. My only other options are Mini Donkey, Donkey, and Shetland Donkey (Mike Olt). It’s a cruel world out there on the 1B waiver wire.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @picard56: Thanks, that did the trick!

  2. Zach says:
    (link)

    First Harper, then Jose Fernandez, then Gio, and now Fielder. At this rate, my team is going to be full of waiver guys by the end of June.

    Anyways, Grey, who do you like better: Dunn or Lind for an OPS league?

    • Seattle Mack says:
      (link)

      @picard56: @Zach:

      Lind, although he may not get as many bats.

      Now is the time to vote on standings placement for draft position if you’re in a snake league.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Zach: You weren’t first! (Kidding) Lind

  3. Anthony says:
    (link)

    You think the Rangers make a play to sign Kendrys Morales?

    • picard56 says:
      (link)

      @Anthony:

      Probably not. From what I have read the Rangers are just gonna roll with Mitch Moreland. Its basically a lost season and they are so financially deep into Fielder’s contract, that they don’t want to give out another contract, even if it is just for one year and 10 million dollars.

      • Toe Knee Arm Ass says:
        (link)

        @picard56: Detroit is picking up part of the tab, idk how much that helps them but they do have deep pockets

          • Q says:
            (link)

            @Wash’s Coke Dealer: Rangers should punt. It’s over. Trading any of their very good prospects for a shot at the 2nd wild card would be a mistake. Daniels already admitted that Garza was a mistake, doubt he’ll make it again.

  4. Tony Cingrani's Ego says:
    (link)

    would you start homer bailey tomorrow at home vs stl tomorrow? do you still like him at all?

    • Brian says:
      (link)

      While answering the question “Do you like [Bailey] at all?”….. I have a bonus question for you!

      Would you trade Trevor Rosenthal for Homer Bailey? NL only and my other closers are only Jennry Mejia and Hector Rondon. Thanks.

      -Brian

      • Fireball Feliz says:
        (link)

        @Brian: I made this trade two weeks ago when it looked like Motte was going to take over eventually. I’d still make the trade though, I think Homer rebounds and is way more valuable than a closer

      • Men-in-Cleats says:
        (link)

        @Brian:

        Whenever I bench him (like the game against the Rockies where they were hotter than hot) he is lights out so you should expect something close to perfection since I’m planning on benching his ass to save my ERA and WHIP until he starts to shape up.

  5. MVPuigs says:
    (link)

    Drop Victorino for Lake?

  6. Chicken Dinner says:
    (link)

    JUp/Stheth or Kipns/Harper

      • Andrew A says:
        (link)

        @Grey: who is Stheth?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Seth Smith, Lisper’s Nightmare

  7. Redlegs says:
    (link)

    And now, the lisper is probably headed for an awfully cold stretch…I finally pulled the trigger and swapped out Dick Markakis for him.

    In other news, an unidentified Rockie is charged with crop-dusting the Colorado clubhouse. Meanwhile, Carlos Gonzalez has been listed as day to day with nasal nerve aggravation.

    Seriously. ‘Cause the guy is a whiny little bitch. Or a hypochondriac. Or made of glass. And his production thus far has not been worth the stress of wondering whether or not he’s going to play on any given day.

  8. Explosive Renteria says:
    (link)

    RoS: Ozuna, Granderson, or Seth Smith? Lost that fat POS as well and need some help with the bats. In my snake draft I was 11th out of 12 and picked Harper and Fielder back to back. The fantasy gods do not smile on me

  9. Fabio says:
    (link)

    actually, Belisario had just 1ER, Jeter was on second base on a passed ball and therefore his run is unearned. I hope the guys at espn take notice.

    • DonSlaughtOnslaught says:
      (link)

      @Fabio: jeter was on second on Belisario’s own wild pitch. Doesn’t make it an unearned run.

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @DonSlaughtOnslaught: anybody that actually saw that inning would agree flowers isn’t a catcher that should be used with belisario, now whether or not espn has anyone that actually watches the games their stats are on…

        • DonSlaughtOnslaught says:
          (link)

          @goodfold2: I did watch the inning, and Flowers was lost. But, on the specific pitch which advanced Jeter, Belisario threw it in the dirt way wide of home plate. Like outside the opposite batter’s box wide. Wild pitch.

          • DonSlaughtOnslaught says:
            (link)

            My favorite part was Flowers dropping the strike three to end the game…which was moving INSIDE THE ZONE. They might need a defensive replacement catcher for save situations.

            • goodfold2 says:
              (link)

              @DonSlaughtOnslaught: if he gets through his saves that wouldn’t be a big deal, i suppose.

  10. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
    (link)

    1) 10 team 5×5 redraft

    Drop Ozuna or Santana and his much needed eligibility for some of Taveras’ sweet, sweet upside, or hold?

    2) 10 team h2h limited move redraft 6×6 with obp, slg, nsb

    Carl Crawford or Bourn ROS, or hold?

    Thanks in advance.

  11. Oliver says:
    (link)

    What do you think about Will Myers for Allen Craig?

    • Fish says:
      (link)

      @Oliver:

      Myers.

      Craig’s Batted Ball profile (lots of grounders) has been trending in the wrong direction for the past 2 seasons.

    • true and correct says:
      (link)

      @Oliver: Craig. Myers has been a huge disappointment and see this year as some serious regression. Craig will outperform Myers ROS.

  12. Jayrod Ceol says:
    (link)

    Hey Derek Grey! Trying to pull things around pitching wise in a points league. I’m trying to acquire either Jeff Samardzja or Jordan Zimmerman and right now he’s focused on acquiring Papelbon off of me. I can get Jordan Zimmerman for Paps and Cingrani… Should I pull the trigger?? Or shop else were?

    • JeF With 1 F says:
      (link)

      @Jayrod Ceol: Dont DO IT

    • Jayrod Ceol says:
      (link)

      @Jayrod Ceol: Supposed to be “Hey THERE Grey..” Not quite sure where Derek came from >.>

      • Jayrod Ceol says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Don’t like moving RPs or just don’t like what I’m acquiring?

  13. geegee says:
    (link)

    chris owing, beckham, or matt dominguez

  14. Alex says:
    (link)

    How would you rank these returns for Kendrys in long term dynasty?

    Ian Kennedy, Garza, Lynn, Derek Holland

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Alex: Lynn, Kennedy

  15. Swfcdan says:
    (link)

    Wow 5-45 last night, along with Lesters blowup. Least I had 3 saves but man my offense is offensively bad right now. Too pissed off with my team to even come up with a question right now.

    • Swfcdan says:
      (link)

      @Swfcdan: And ha, that British slang was totally appauling mate, probs for trying though.

      • @Swfcdan: LOL on Greys try at Brit slang, at first I thought he was like these awful actors on the TV that try to speak with an Irish accent..just horrible mate!! LOL

      • Ra'zball Al Ghul says:
        (link)

        @Swfcdan: probs

      • puig league choo says:
        (link)

        @Swfcdan:
        Oy, what a right chav he is. Grey finks ‘imself the ticketyboo round ‘ere, but it’s bin wervy if your askin a real ruff n’ tumble bloke.