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Yesterday, the Oakland A’s hit Kevin Slowey about as well as Elmer Fudd can pronounce his name.  After missing last week’s start with a sore elbow, it was a great sign that he took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, only to be lifted for precautionary reasons.  After the game, Precautionary Reasons said, “Don’t blame me, blame Gardenhire.”  Well, whoever you believe, Slowey still had his best start of the season, which came only one start removed from his 2nd best start of the season, which came after a quality start.  I guess what I’m confusingly trying to say is he’s been good over the last month aside from his last start vs. the Rays.  Hasn’t been all peaches and cream this year for Slowey.  I loved him coming into the year and I would’ve loved to strangle him at certain points this year.   Assuming his ‘bow is shooting straight, I’d grab him off waivers for his next start vs. the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to quickly announce the RCL Standings and the Fantasy Razzball standings have been updated.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Jim Thome – 1-for-4 with his third homer in his last 5 games.  Doesn’t have Infantian positional eligibility and he looks old enough to have grandkids, but he’s currently hitting.

Rich Harden – Hit the DL again.  Bad year for Erich Bedarden.  Actually, every year is.

Nelson Cruz – Will be reevaluated on Monday for his recurring hamstring injury.  If only the Rangers can figure out some way for their hitters to play in a giant inflatable bubble.

Derek Holland – Will start on Wednesday vs. the Rays.  I’d wait to see how he pitches before adding him, but I do have a small crush on Holland.

Justin Masterson – 6 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (only one hit), 3 Ks.  As frequent commenter, royce!, pointed out, Masterson figured out how to counteract his terrible splits vs. lefties.  Walk them and just face righties.

Michael Brantley – 2-for-4 with a homer and is now batting .333 over the last week as he takes time away from the touring company of Riverdance.

Travis Hafner – 1-for-4 with a grand slam in his first game back from the DL.  Or, more appropriately, one of the few games between his last DL stint and his next one.

Chris Johnson – 3-for-4 with his 6th homer.  Yup.

Felix Hernandez – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks but gave up 6 unearned runs causing me to have some serious ticker shock.

Derrek Lee – 2 homers then left with a stiff back, which sounds like something Don Draper would order.

Ian Stewart – 2-for-3 with his 17th homer.  Has now hit in 9 of his last 10 games as he hits .269 on the year with 5 steals.  Don’t be surprised when I like Mini-Mini Donkey again next year.  Have to at least justify my “MMD for life” tattoo.

Eric Young Jr. – 1-for-4 as he was recalled.  He may be sent right back down or he might not be anything but a reserve utility man even if he stays up.  In deep leagues, I grabbed him where I needed speed, but I was dropping schmohawks.  Don’t drop anyone too valuable for him.  Not yet.

Adam Lind – 2-for-2 with his 17th homer.  Don’t look now (okay, you can look now), but Lind’s hitting .366 in August with 3 homers.

Ricky Romero – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Let’s talk real baseball for a second.  The Blue Kays signed Romero to a $30.1 million deal through 2015.  (Though we’ll all be using the euro by then, but that’s just a hunch of mine.)  I like this move for the Kays.  Romero’s a mid-3 ERA, just under 8 K/9 pitcher.  I.e., a solid number two.  In a few years, $30 million will look like a bargain.

Mike Napoli – Hit his 19th homer as he snuck on the field wearing Mathis’ uniform.

Tim Lincecum – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  I wonder if the Giants are second-guessing his past seasons’ pitch counts.

Jeremy Hellickson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Has been downright brilliant in each of his major league starts, sporting a 1.35 ERA, 0.60 WHIP and 18 Ks to 3 walks.  He’s also the number one fantasy prospect, according to Stephen.  Unfortunately, the Rays are conservative with their prospects and Hellickson had quite a few innings in the minors this year.  Unfortunately II:  The Search for More Bad News; as soon as Davis or Niemann can return, Hellickson will be bumped from the rotation.  Unfortunately III:  The Bride of Unfortunately; Davis or Niemann will probably return next week.

Mike Stanton – 2-for-4 but didn’t hit a homer in Sunday’s game for the first time in, like, a year.  He’s now batting fifth, hitting .275 with 14 homers.  And, according to my Stuff On My Cat desk calender, we’re not in September yet.

Homer Bailey – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Is it me or does it feel like he has a triumphant return to the majors every other month?  Seems to go like this for Bailey.  First start in the majors and he blows away the opposition.  Starts four more times and gets rocked or injured.  Then he’s DL’d or demoted.  A month later, he returns triumphantly.  Rinse and repeat.

Jose Valverde – Has been out with an abdominal strain, but says he should be fine moving forward.  If he’s lying, Ryan Perry could be the handcuff, but he’s been struggling.  Phil Coke could see some hot closing action too.  Or Valverde just returns.

Ryan Raburn – 2-for-5 with his 6th homer and…. Wait for it… Here it comes… Hmm… I’ve seemed to misplace it… Let me check my pockets… Nope…. Maybe I left it in my car?…  Oh, here it is in my wallet… This was Raburn’s 3rd homer in his last 4 games.  Tuh-dow!

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-3 with his 27th homer and 95th RBI while batting .341, which is still twenty points off of Josh Hamilton.  They should have major league scouts at Celebrity Rehab.

Jhonny Peralta – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.  To think what he could’ve done with a coke addiction.

Paul Konerko – 2-for-4 and his 29th homer.  The only consolation for missing out on Konerko this year is the guy that drafted him uses a cheat sheet from 2004 and also drafted Manny, Hafner, Carlos Lee, Berkman and Clemens.

Vicente Padilla – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  Note to Padilla, when you’re selling your soul to the devil, ask him for an entire solid season, not just a good month or two.

Omar Infante – 3-for-5, 7 for his last 12 and is batting .340 on the year.  That’s the last time I’m ever mentioning him.  You’ve been served (with info)!

Bryan Bullington -8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks.  The first round draft pick threw eight shutout innings vs. the Yankees as he got his first win!  The genital wart on that achievement is that he was drafted 8 years ago and is 30 years old.  I’d let someone else be Bullington’s huckleberry.

Ian Desmond – 1-for-3 with his 2nd steal in two days while hitting 2nd and .333 over the last week.  Inch by inch, step by step, he’s putting together a decent year.

Jacoby Ellsbury – D’Ellsburied once again as he continues to rack up the Game-Missing RIBs.  Back in May, I said, “I know this might be a bitter pill(sbury) to swallow, but I don’t think it’s going to be a great season for Ellsbury.”  And that’s me rubbing salt in your wounds again!  It’s not official yet, but it sounds like he won’t return this year.  On the bright side, he’ll be a bargain in next year’s draft.

Dustin Pedroia – Proving he’s a 100%, Grade-A Sparky Anklebiter, Pedroia said he’s coming back on Tuesday because there’s no time for him to get fully healthy, there’s games to be won.  Can we get Sean Astin on a diet so he can play Dustin Pedroia in The Tail That Wagged The Sox?

  1. aconstipatedmonkey says:

    hahaha, you already have me thinking about my Lind/Ellsbury/Bruce outfield for next year Grey.

  2. Ciao Grey — would you rather have either Rayburn or EYoung Jr. if it meant dropping Franklin Gutiérrez? It’s a 20-team one year roto league and I’m not playing Gutiérrez much …

    I’m third overall, and on offense my main needs are Runs and AVE.

  3. dj says:

    12 team mixed h2h… drop pagan for brantley?

  4. Chomp Samba says:

    Thanks, as always, for the chuckles and insight – or chinsight, if you will.

    If you had to drop one of these pitchers, who would you drop of Chacin, Leake, Minor, Norris, and Wells (Randy not David)?

    Looks like Leake may soon wind up in relief or have his innings seriously de-Dustified Chacin may not be around long but I love his K potential, as I do Norris coming off of his 14K gold performance. I’m thinking Minor or Wells but I defer to your wisdom on this.

  5. Giant JJ says:

    I think Lincecum could turn it around any time. He struck out the side in the first and then began the control problems in the 2nd. Nobody hit him hard yesterday. A bunch of flares, grenades and doinks.

    I’ve been offered Sean Rodriguez and Juan Rivera for Carlos Ruiz. Bengie would replace Ruiz. 20 teams. Thanks again as always.

  6. Eric says:

    stanton or kubel?

  7. Steve says:

    Ah, you had to mention Lind, didn’t you?

    Tis with furrowed brow that I have watched him and Zimm doing work while the Braun I got in return has (ahem) not been all that sharp.

  8. Bender says:

    Hey, did you see Tim “Cy” Hudson moved to #2 for ERA behind Wainwright?0.49 in his last 5 starts — I’m digging that ride while it lasts.

    Actual quest for advice; 12-team 1-yr roto, trying to keep my league-leading ERA and WHIP low, K’s not an issue: drop Scherzer for Minor?

  9. adam says:

    For a DH: Raburn, Pedro Alvarez, or David Murphy?
    Closer: Should I drop Papelbon and/or Axford for Kuo and/or Storen?

    Also, thanks for the second-half LaRoche recommendation… he’s raking.

  10. barker says:

    20 team league shallow

    brett wallace or raburn

  11. Kyuss says:

    Grey, in dynasty league with 20 keepers…would you trade away Garza, Sizemore and Alcides for Tulowitzki, or is it too much?
    I have plenty of of’s so i don’t really need sizemore (snider, heyward, cargo, ajackson, fowler, domonic)

  12. pubscout says:

    Does it seem likely that Utley is safe enough a bet to start in weekly leagues?

  13. ThePoonTycoon says:

    i wish i could donate one of my hamstrings to nelson cruz

  14. ScoutAbout says:

    Good morning Grey! With Willingham’s knee issues and lack of production of late, would you drop him for either Brantley or Murphy?

  15. tHe sHiT says:

    Really glad to see someone make it big from our neighborhood. Congratulations to Ricky Romero. Hope to see him continue to do well in the years to come. Kudos for mentioning the good news for Ricky!

  16. Hans says:

    @Grey was wondering if you recall the website that you linked us to from one of your articles in may or june. It was the website where it documented how far every home run hit this year went. I got some time to kill today obviously and would love spending two hours of my day looking at shizz like this. Thanks.

  17. cruisinkc says:

    Thoughts on Ian Kinsler for next year? I’m in a limited keeper league (we keep 5 each year and then just lose the first 5 rounds of our draft) and am wondering if it would be worth trading for him if I’m looking to sure up my 5th keeper. I have a hole at 2b and if he were to bounce back next year with great numbers I would think it’d be worth the risk right?

    For keeper options I have:

    4 for sure:
    Tex, Braun, Wright, Holliday

    For the last spot:
    Kelly Johnson, Ben Zobrist, Nick Markakis, Shane Victorino, Torii Hunter, Grady Sizemore, Matt Garza, Clay Buchholz, Phil Hughes, and Johan Santana

    The guy i’m trying to trade with is interested in just a straight up swap of Johan for Kinsler.

  18. Wilsonian says:

    Excellent shizz, man. The Pedroia/Astin line killed me. Luckily I hadn’t taken a drink of my coffee yet.

    Better one-start pickup for tomorrow: Hudson or Arroyo?

    Best last month and a half: Kubel or LaRoche?

  19. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @cruisinkc: i like kinsler better than your options for your 5th keeper spot. especially with the 1st 4 keepers you have, even if kinsler doesn’t bounce back you are in good shape. if he does bounce back you basically have 5 top 15-20 or so hitters.

  20. papasmurf says:

    Slowey was very good vs. the Rays too until his last inning. Line woulda looked much better if he had been yanked a bit earlier.

  21. Mr2Bits says:

    Grey : Would you lose Padilla for Minor or E. Jackson or hold tight?

  22. Mr2Bits says:

    Edit : Looks like Minor would be my only option now as EJ is gone

  23. Another owner really wants my Alex Gordon and has been offering me all sorts of players.

    Now he has offered Matt Kemp and Neil Walker for Alex Gordon and BJ Upton. I have Utley coming back so I don’t really need Neil but he’s a nice backup.

    So basically it’s Kemp for Gordon and BJ Upton. I’m pretty tempted even though Kemp has been pretty bad and in the dog house.

    What do you think?

  24. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Frank Kim: kemp

  25. mgeoffriau

    Mark Geoffriau says:

    @Frank Kim: Kemp, Kemp, Kemp. Do it before he wises up.

  26. Jim says:


    In a salary cap league, have a good chance to win 5k. Need to make up in avg. and mainly steals. Who some guys who are gonna steal a ton the rest of the year and hit for a decent avg?

    Have Crawford, Andrus, Hanley allready on team.


  27. Howie Met Your Mother says:


    Drop Hammel or Zimermann for Ian Desmond (until Zobrist gets his shit together)? I havent even thought about starting Hammel in over a month.

  28. SpiralArchitect says:

    Need a 2nd opinion

    For reasons I can only discuss with my attorney, I am not starting K-Rod this week.

    Points league +2K +10W +5QS +1IP -1BB -1ER

    Better: Gorzelanny or Jhoulys

  29. Start scherzer vs the yanks tonight?
    H2H points league, K heavy, HR allowed big minus. No inning limit so anything positive helps.

  30. Black Beard says:

    Please rank, rest of the way: Kuroda, Scherzer, Hellickson, D. Hudson, and J. Shields.


  31. This is somewhat related to my previous question. Would you rather have Garrett Jones or Neil Walker? I am leaning towards Jones.

  32. @Black Beard: Scherzer, Kuroda, Hudon, Hellickson, Shields. I would rank Hellickson second if he had a regular rotation spot but it sounds like he doesn’t.

  33. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Jim: wow, how do you need to make up ground in SBs?

    rajai davis might be a good target.

  34. sean says:

    Justin Upton or Hunter Pence this week?

    Upton: last two weeks 4/0/7/.156/0 and is facing Arroyo, Volquez, Wood, Rogers, Jimenez, Chacin all at home
    Pence: last two weeks 12/1/10/.360/3 facing Niese, Santana, Dickey, Misch, @Sanchez, @Volstad, @Nolasco

  35. Bob says:

    Re Konerko: I did have my my 2004 cheat sheet when I drafted Mariano, Jeter, Vernon Wells, Vlad, Magglio, and Konerko later than their ADP in the RCL. Lucky or good? Who knows.

  36. ScoutAbout says:

    @ Grey et al. In H2H league, is Morrow worth owning over either Bumgarner or Gorzelanny?

  37. Jim says:

    @ ThePoonTycoon

    Its not a normal league, just cause I have Crawford, others can have him too. U can have anyone on your team, just have to be under salary cap. So I was hoping for cheaper guys too. I like Pierre but he’s little spendy. Was thinking Gardner or Pagan or if you got some secret stud thats gonna steal 20 the rest of the way I’m all ears.

    Thanks for your help!!

  38. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Jim: like i said, rajai davis might be a good cheap option. jose tabata might be another worth grabbing.

    guys like everth cabrera, alcides escobar, julio borbon, etc. might be worth watching closely, but don’t know that any have done anything worth picking up just yet

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @aconstipatedmonkey: Sounds pretty good.

    @Enrique: Raburn

    @dj: Nope

    @Chomp Samba: Hehe… No problem. Leake

    @Giant JJ: Looks fair for you, if you need those guys.

    @Eric: Stanton

    @Steve: Yeah, the injury’s probably holding him back.

    @Bender: Sure

    @adam: No problem… Alvarez, no on the closer.

    @barker: Raburn

    @Kyuss: Go for it.

    @pubscout: Should be…

    @ThePoonTycoon: Ha!

    @ScoutAbout: Brantley for steals… If not, Murphy.

    @tHe sHiT: He’s from LA?


    @cruisinkc: Agree with Poon.

    @Wilsonian: Thanks! LaRoche, Hudson gives Ks, Arroyo ratios… It’s a coin flip on matchups.

    @papasmurf: That’s true.

    @Mr2Bits: Minor

    @Frank Kim: Agree with others.

    @Jim: Agree with Poon.

    @Howie Met Your Mother: Hammel

    @SpiralArchitect: Chacin

    @trick dad: I would, it’s obviously risky.

    @Black Beard: Agree with Frank.

    @Frank Kim: Jones

    @sean: Pence

    @Bob: Ha! Nice…

    @ScoutAbout: Over Gorzelanny…

    @Jim: I’d go with Gardner between those two. Davis could stole a bunch too.

  40. cruisinkc says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: Thanks for your help!

  41. Kazmere says:

    Next few weeks roto? Kubel, Raburn, Brantley or Burrell? Need RBIs.

  42. GTG says:

    AL only 4×4 league with 11 teams. I’m in 1st place but need a some HR + RBI down the stretch after losing Youk + Pena in my corner spots. It’s not pretty, but my waiver options at 3B are Lowell, Marte, Casilla and J.Wilson… help?

  43. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: Thanks, hombre. I think I’m gonna go with Hudson – I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a HUGE K-Whore…

  44. Commish Cauda says:

    H2H-POINTS League

    Can only keep two of the following three.

    Fowler, Gomes and Pat Burrell

    Who goes?

  45. Ass-dribble or EY, Jr? I like the SS eligibility of Cabrera (Rollins owner here) but I’m thinking EY could rack up some steals if he plays enough.

  46. Mr2Bits says:

    Anyone ever had a miscalculation in Yahoo? I went to bed last night winning ERA by 2.53 to his 2.66 (keep in mid I watch Stattracker so these were live stats) only to wake up to losing 2.49 to his 2.45.

    Granted he had Kendrick pitching but unsure how someone could shave .21 off their ERA when the night concluded and it showed me winning the category??????

    On a side note, Felix Hernandez and the game scorer can go walk into oncoming traffic as I have never seen a pitcher give up 6 runs and not get rung up for any of them. If he had, this whole situation would be moot.

  47. SpiralArchitect says:

    Chances Utley comes back Tuesday?

    Is it worth putting him in over Brian Roberts?

  48. Fletch says:

    @Grey: Rank these OF for the rest of the season: Lind, C. Lee, Scott & A. Jones?

  49. Timequake says:

    Is Alexei sexy enough for me to drop Andrus?

  50. Eddy says:

    I really hate the extremely tight race I’m in for 6th place in my H2H league. 5th, 6th, and 7th are a total of 1.5 games apart. I ALSO hate how the 12th place team decides to have a sub 1.20 ERA when I have 1.78 week.


  51. teufleshuffle22 says:

    Too many craptastic closers. Who to trade:

    1. MikeG


    2. Drew Storen.


  52. TheBravesWearPrado says:

    I need some pitching and have excess hitting so I’m looking at a trade of Kemp/Garcia for Lincecum/Gio Gonzalez. Garcia is already getting skipped and is struggling. I realize Lincecum is struggling but I think its worth the risk since I don’t really need Kemp and he has been struggling as well. Its basically a trade filled with players who are struggling. Thoughts?

  53. Wiley says:

    In a H2H league. Would you go with Volquez, Duensing, or Minor heading into the playoffs?

  54. Mr2Bits says:


    True but I was winning ERA by .13 when Kendrick called it quits. I’d like to attribute it to Stattracker not updating but I watched my opponents era slowly trickling down to 2.66 through his start as he started the night at 2.75.

    He had 19 SP go off this past week so a couple of no-hitters is what it would have took to drop that much.

    Oh well!

  55. Dumbmutt says:

    Berkman or Kubel? Not sure if Berkman will ever turn it on

  56. tHe sHiT says:

    @Grey: Yeah Ricky is 4rm LA. I went to middle school with him. He transferred 2 my high school our senior year so he could have a better chance to be scouted. He got a scholarship 2 CSUF n then got drafted by Toronto…

  57. Earl Battey says:

    We’re past the trade deadline in my h2h league. I’m often struggling to find steals, so I’ve been hanging onto Denard Dawg. One problem is that he’s been a huge disappointment overall this year. I was hoping for something along the lines of .300, 100 runs, 10 HR, 25 SB. He’s regressed in terms of power and avg compared to last year. A second problem is that while he got off to a great start with SBs, the Twins have given him the red light recently because he has been picked off repeatedly.

    Time to dump him for someone like Bruce, Smashbuckler, Fowler, Kalish, Snider, Raburn, Brantley, Murphy, or Crisp? (sorry for listing the whole wire inventory). Position doesn’t matter, because I can play the new guy at Util. Or, should I just stick with Denard Dawg and hopes he picks it up?

  58. dingers says:

    grey, pick 2, cjohnson,gbeckham,istewart… thanx!!

  59. NoEmoJoe says:

    Who would you drop: Beltran, J Hey, or Ibanez?

  60. Anyone else a little tired of the “Was Gardenhire right to pull Slowey?” chatter? There’s absolutely no way that anyone other than Slowey, Gardenhire, and the Twins’ trainers can offer any kind of substantive answer to that question.

  61. tHe sHiT says:

    @Grey: Naw he was a cool, quiet guy. Definitely a great athlete. Haven’t seen him in years, so i dont know if he has changed. Though he has been a great role model for his younger brother, really emphasizing higher education.

  62. dingers says:

    @Grey: thanks, would ya drop any of these pitchers currently riding the pine for JZimmerman?
    Volquez, Braden or Hanrahan. ?

  63. Grey

    Grey says:

    @NoEmoJoe: All of them? I keed. Kinda. Depends on the league, but I’d lose Heyward.

    @Mark Geoffriau: I think there’s a pretty straightforward answer. He just had a sore elbow, you pull him after 100+ pitches. It’s a no brainer.

    @tHe sHiT: Sounds a lot like Jay-Z with Kanye.

    @dingers: Nah


  64. Josh says:

    Hey Grey, getting ready for playoffs in a 16 team H2Her, there are no pickups allowed in the playoffs and the only SB threat on the team is Hanley, would you drop either LaPorta or Alex Gordon for Rajai Davis? Also, drop Hellickson now for Bronson Arroyo?

  65. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Josh: LaPorta for Davis. Go with Arroyo.


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