B.J. Upton went o-for-3 or one-for-four if you count him hitting the outfield wall.  You say unfeeling, I say how dare he start in front of Desmond Jennings.  I sat down to watch this game wearing my dress made of doilies with Desmond Jennings’s face on each doilie, i.e., my Desmond tutu, only to find him benched.  How dare you, sir.  In fact, I’m bringing out the douchey one word per sentence thing.  How. Dare. You. Sir.  Upton’s day-to-day with a shoulder strain.  He’ll probably miss a few days, unless he thinks he’s going to play instead of Jennings.  Then I might have to Gillooly someone.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jeff Niemann – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He was so close to putting together another solid game.  Too bad I don’t have him on my fantasy horseshoe team.

Evan Longoria – 2-for-4 with his 21st homer.  I don’t own him anywhere so my motives are a bit tainted, but I hope he finishes up the year with a sub-.240 average.  If he somehow falls into the 3rd round next year, color me excited.

Jimmy Rollins – To the DL with a Grade 2 strain of the groin.  That’s crazy advanced.  I never strained my groin until, like, the 8th grade.

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Mets.  It was so easy that he walked 3 batters just to see what it feels like.

John Mayberry – Another day, another HR.  That’s 11 HRs in 189 ABs this  year.  Raul Ibanez has 5 more HRs in 240 more ABs.  Cust kayin’, Charlie.

Hunter Pence – 2 for 3, 4 runs, 2 RBIs as he clearly is taking to the city of Tastykakes and Cheese Steaks.  It’s got to make Ruben Amaro feel better that his fleecing of Ed Wade isn’t limited to just pitchers (Oswalt, Lidge).

Jose Constanza – Left yesterday’s game with an ankle sprain.  Fredi is probably finding out if Constanza can play on crutches instead of playing Heyward.  Hey, Constanza, the ocean called, it’s running out of non-phenoms.

Tommy Hanson – Said his shoulder feels fine.  You know what I don’t like?  When a pitcher feels the need to say his shoulder feels fine.  Can all pitchers agree to go mum on the whole shoulder business?  Mum is the word, is the word, is the word…

Jonny Venters – Got the save yesterday because Kimbrel had been used a lot recently and Venters had been used a lot recently but Venters’s life coach is Scott Proctor.

Nate Eovaldi – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Reminds me a bit of John Ely when he first was called up.  Hey, whatever happened to John Ely?

James Loney – 7 for his last 8.  Yawn.  Wake me when he gets his homers into the double digits.

Travis Hafner – To the DL with a strained right foot.  He stepped on his old football helmet that was being used as a beer cooler during a recent BBQ.

Ross Detwiler – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Has put together four straight decent starts.  Yes, ‘decent’ is less than a quality start.  I wouldn’t grab him in any league.  Yes, I’m only talking about him because yesterday was a short schedule day.

Adrian Beltre – Ran at 75% yesterday.  I walk at 35% with a cane and a limp while wearing a chinchilla fur coat.

Justin Morneau – Out with a sore foot, but the good news is, depending on whether you own him or not, his x-rays were negative.  The bad news, again dependent on ownership, he’s going for an MRI on Tuesday if his foot isn’t feeling better.  Now try and figure out what you’re hoping for.

Chris Narveson – After throwing 5 1/3 shutout innings, he left his start with a cracked fingernail.  That once knocked my mom out of action for an entire afternoon.  Couldn’t make me lunch or anything.  Godspeed, Narveson.  Maybe you can get an endorsement with Lee Press-On.

Zack Greinke – 6 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Greinkes!  Just when you think it’s safe to start him everywhere every time out, he gets dunderblown by the Pirates.

Alex Avila – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in the last four games.  He’s also hitting .429 in August.  I wouldn’t defrost Ted Williams’s head just yet, but he is having a solid year.

Mike Napoli – 1-for-4 with his 21st homer.  He’s also batting .293 on the year.  Aren’t you glad you got him off your team back in April?  What a relief!

Ben Revere – 1-for-5 but probably made the best play of the year.  Too bad my fantasy league doesn’t have a Web Gems category.

J.D. Martinez – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and 5 for his last nine with a homer.  Must… resist… urge… to… pick… up… Astros… hitters.

Brian Bogusevic – Hit his 4th homer yesterday.  Before you think about picking him up, remember he’s a herbathrowdite.

Ryan Ludwick – 1-for-4 with a homer.  The Pirates trade deadline deal is paying immediate dividends!

Jose Tabata – 5-for-9 in the doubleheader, has now hit in every game since his return with two homers.  He’s at 31% owned in ESPN leagues.  Even assuming 50% of ESPN leagues are abandoned, that figure seems low.

Andrew McCutchen – Sat out the nightcap and Daniel McCutchen got the win.  Wait a second, I saw that episode of Family Ties when Alex had two dates to the prom.  Did Daniel McCutchen enter the game wearing a different color tie?

Starlin Castro – Received a mental day off yesterday.  The Cubs gave Carlos Zambrano 4 mental days off out of 5 and look how well that turned out.

  1. Michael says:

    No rumination on what it means when JJ Hardy is the best thing to happen to your fantasy season that doesn’t start with a Ver and end with a lander?

  2. Weezie says:

    nothing like the stretch run. Too many good options on my wire though. J sanchez was just dropped, luebke is calling my name though he faces ari a lot, who have hit him around last time. And bourjos is floating around. Would you drop pineda, who still might pitch in to playoffs for any of these?

  3. Johnathon says:

    Hey Grey,

    In a 10 team, 4 keeper league. I’ve already penned Hanley, Wright, and Cruz as keepers. Debating between Heyward and Jennings.

    I’m leaning toward Jennings at this point but don’t want to get burned again. (in this years pre-season, I traded J upton for Liriano and Krispie Young and you know the rest)

    Is heyward ever going to hit lefties or show that HR stroke? Is he who we thought he was (lovie smith voice )

    What say ye?

  4. Josh says:

    Re: Constanza

    Oh yeah Grey? Well the Jerk store called and they’re running out of you!

  5. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:I get the feeling the only thing you enjoy more than gushing over Desmond Jennings is taunting those who dropped Napoli.

    since they are both in lousy lineups,would you drop Carp for Martinez?its a 10 team 8×8 league w/ TB’s and XBH as categories.

  6. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    ….or would you take Tabata over Martinez AND Carp?

  7. Chunk says:

    Need to keep one for next year: Dunn, Carp, Trumbo, Andrus, Beachy, Gio
    Other two keepers (3 total) are Prince and Kemp.

    If you don’t say Dunn, he gets dropped today.

  8. Chunk says:

    there’s a CI spot to fill so 2 1Bs is no problem

  9. Robert says:

    @Grey: Do you think Alex White has a good 1st outing facing the Astros?

  10. Bré Jus says:

    Random question & don’t know if anyone can answer it: Head 2 head playoffs start next week (for my league) and it looks like KING FELIX pitches on a Tuesday but he isn’t listed for two starts. I counted the starts and he should pitch on that Sunday. Does anyone own him/have the same question or an answer?


  11. Eddy says:

    Anyone know when the last day of the RCL is? I can’t seem to find it.

  12. Tim says:

    Better playoff pickup: Bourjos or Tabata?

  13. Sean says:

    @Grey: Have to choose between Janssen and Ram-Ram for saves, but it’s H2H so I’m more concerned with who is more likely to keep the job down the stretch (assuming Janssen even has it at this point). Who do you think?

  14. Hey Grey,

    Omar Infante… worth a pickup?

  15. going Proletariat says:

    so i guess Jason Bourgeois has RUN out of PT??

    better to have Revere at this point?

  16. franknbeans says:

    buerhle v angels or estrada v bucs?

  17. meh says:

    The Desmond tutu …. particularly inspired. Thank you.

  18. LAzyboy says:

    Hey Grey,
    Sorry if you already mentioned this and I missed it, but what should I do about Gio Gonzalez? Drop him and hope he hurts another team more, or hold on and hope for 2 or 3 more good starts? I’m in a 12 team mixed league.
    Also, to you start Kuroda tomorrow in St. L?

  19. AL KOHOLIC says:

    eddy,when the last game of the year is played,i believe if theres a one game playoff that it counts to

  20. Salty Balty says:

    Start Minor @ Chi?

  21. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Michael: Ha

    @Weezie: Luebke over Pineda.

    @muchacho: I did see it, pretty cool.

    @Johnathon: I think Heyward will be fine next year. Jennnings is good though…

    @Josh: Ouch!

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: I’d take Tabata if I needed steals.

    @Chunk: Dunn’s not in the top 3 of those others to keep.

    @Robert: 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER.

    @ivebeenupthreedaysstraight: Wow, nice.

    @Bré Jus: He’ll pitch on Sunday if that’s his normal rest.

    @Eddy: Last day of the season.

    @Tim: Bourjos

    @Sean: Ram-Ram

    @gbaked: Eh

    @going Proletariat: Go with Revere.

    @franknbeans: Estrada

    @meh: Thanks!

    @LAzyboy: Start Kuroda… Can lose Gio if there’s better options.

    @Salty Balty: Yup

  22. TheNewGuy says:

    The closer carousel again. Saw Salas blew another last night, his job on tenderhooks? Motte worth the pickup in case there is a change? Boggs’ been getting pounded recently.

  23. pipa says:

    Grey…is it time to drop G Sanchez??

  24. The herbathrowdite is showing a lot of power. If Goldschmidt did that we’d be talking him up, oh wait… we did. Worth a flier with a rebuilding team. Could be the starter next year.

  25. The Spaceman says:

    @ Grey

    Fantasy hockey?! I’m surprised, yet can’t say I not intrigued. Will you be doing the daily writeups? Wink!

    Two quick questions for you sir; Mayberry or Lillibridge? (need a temp CF for Bossman Jr). And for SAGNOF purposes; Parnell or Casey Janssen?

    Thanks a ton and I hope that all is well man!

    The Spaceman

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @TheNewGuy: Sure, grab Motte.

    @pipa: In some leagues, sure.

    @NLFantasyBB: And Bogusevic also only hit 3 homers in 210+ ABs in the minors this year.

    @The Spaceman: Glad you’re intrigued. Mayberry…Parnell… Back at cha.

  27. Robert says:

    @Grey- who does better today, White vs Stros or Estrada vs Bucs? thanks

  28. @Grey Bogie had 13 HR last year so power is not completely unfounded. Has some speed too. I still want to see what he does the rest of the year.

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Robert: Neither? Estrada….

    @NLFantasyBB: Gotcha

  30. CU says:

    Need a spot start tmrw, slim pick’ins… looking for Ks and W potential.

    Who out of the following: Bronson (@FLA), Wade Davis (DET), Guthrie (@MIN), or Livan (ARI)

  31. Wilsonian says:

    Bourjos, Tabata, Stubbs. Pick 2 for the ROS. I know you’re going to say Stubbs, but he’s been AWFUL for the last two months.

    H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBPS

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @CU: None? Davis…

    @Wilsonian: Bourjos, Tabata…

  33. Wilsonian says:

    Hamels to the DL, although he is eligible to come off on the 28th.

    @Grey: thanks. I’m actually a little surprised you didn’t say Stubbs. Emoticon…

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wilsonian: Thanks for the heads up on Hamels!

  35. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: no problem. Who would you rather pick up to replace him, Luebke or Wandy? Ks/9 league.

  36. Rob says:

    Need to cut loose one of these pitchers, who would you cut?

    Niemann (schedule gets tougher with @TOR, @Tex, Tex)
    Daniel Hudson (a little wild lately, running out of steam?)
    J. Chacin (killin my WHIP but has a great schedule to finish the year lots of NL West games)

  37. Wake Up says:

    Looks like Holliday will be able to avoid a DL stint…though LaRussa was still visibly shaken, as it appears that the moth didn’t make it…

  38. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wilsonian: Luebke

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Rob: Niemann

    @Wake Up: Ha!

  40. VinWins

    VinWins says:

    DBacks acquire Hill and McDonald for Kelly Johnson

  41. Grey

    Grey says:

    @VinWins: Seems like such an odd trade for both teams.

  42. VinWins

    VinWins says:

    Speculation for the Jays is they’re thinking of the compensation when KJ signs elsewhere as a free agent.

  43. Aaron Hill to Aarizona better not make me consider him again next season. Weird season for him with the early SBs; otherwise a totally regretable waste of a pick.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @VinWins: That’s the most sense I can make of it too.

  45. Joel says:

    Grey: start or bench Niese tonight? Gotta bench him, riht?

  46. peter says:

    Is there a Razzball glossary term for when your SP gets screwed by the manager and/or bullpen?

    i.e., ahead by 1 run, Eric Wedge sends Masterson back to the mound after 113 pitches for the 9th… Masterson gives up two hits, is replaced by C. Perez, who then allows both runners to score (more ERs for Masterson, of course) and picks up the vulture win.

  47. Deadwoods says:

    Maybin or Bourjos?

  48. Deadwoods says:

    Maybin or Bourjos ROS?

  49. The Sequential Hermaphrodite says:

    Do you think Chris Young is droppable in a 10 team mixed league (standard categories + OPS). He has been awful recently and is 1/31 in the past 10 games. I can replace him with Bourjos or Kendrick.

  50. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joel: Sit

    @The Sequential Hermaphrodite: Yup… Bourjos

    @Deadwoods: Maybin

  51. Doug Ault says:

    The Jays have become The Island of Misfit Toys over the last few years.First Escobar, then Rasmus……..does Johnson have any “issues’ ?

  52. Grey

    Grey says:

    @peter: Oh, and seems like a form of being dustied.

  53. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doug Ault: Ha, they have. Johnson and Yunel were misfits together in Atlanta.

  54. peter says:

    @Grey: Of course, I knew it was a familiar feeling…

  55. peter says:

    …and by familiar, I mean familiarly dirty. Filthy. Muddy. Like when you’re soaking wet and then get Dusty.

  56. Gandhi says:

    C. Lee & D. Jeter for Sabathia & A. Cabrera? (keeper league–3 players, Lee is one of mine)

  57. vinko says:

    LoMo is returning to the Marlins lineup on Wednesday. Would you drop Gaby for him?

  58. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    everyone excited for the return of LoMo?

    Heyward batting 8th tonight….I made plenty of mistakes this yr,but drafting Heyward early was not one of them.

  59. Grey

    Grey says:

    @peter: Ha!

    @Gandhi: CC side.

    @vinko: Grab Morrison.

  60. nyydj2 says:

    Brandon Allen just put a monster shot into the upper deck at Yankee Stadium, only the second ball to reach there since it opened. Branyan hit the other.

  61. papafrog says:

    @Grey: Good stuff, Grey. Quick opinion needed, please. 12 team mixed rotiss league with all hitting categories still up in the air, which OF/2B combo do you prefer for the rest of the year: Delmon Young/Lawrie or Choo/Jemile Weeks. Thanks again in advance!

  62. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nyydj2: I was excited to read the first sentence then I read the second and I’m like oh.

  63. Grey

    Grey says:

    @papafrog: Weeks, Choo…

  64. chata says:

    @ Grey :

    casper had his stolen base (yesterday’s game) taken away … late today .
    know why ?

  65. Steve says:

    WTF is Morrow up to? I sat Niese in the RCL cos all of my other matchups were so good…

  66. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:if Wandy goes to Rockies,how much does it damage his value?….I know pitching at Coors hurts,but he gets all those starts against LA,SD and SF.

  67. Grey

    Grey says:

    @chata: No idea. Catcher’s indifference?

    @Steve: He’s flaky.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Hurts his value a decent amount.

  68. nyydj2 says:

    I hear ya Grey, not quite the same as “where only Mickey Mantle has ever reached”.

    BeeTeeDubya, the wife banned me from the kroky-yokie bars long time ago for the same exact attitude.

  69. chata says:

    @ Grey :

    since they waited until early this evening to make the change ,
    seems more like scorekeeper’s indifference .

  70. Wilsonian says:

    Who would you drop for Morrison: Moreland, Espinosa, Carp, Betancourt?

  71. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: or would you drop Parnell for him?

  72. nyydj2 says:

    What on earth is going on with Pagan? ESPN had him DL’d several hours ago and I replaced him, now he’s playing tonight?

  73. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    damn….another HR for Mayberry.Im gonna have to grab him in a a few leagues and hope that Ibanez stays hurt.

  74. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nyydj2: No, not the same ring to it at all. Ha, luckily I’m not married.

    @chata: Could be.

    @Wilsonian: What Betancourt?

    @nyydj2: Not sure.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Got for it.

  75. Wilsonian says:

    J-Up taken out of the game. No clue as to why.

  76. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wilsonian: Hit by a pitch.

  77. nyydj2 says:

    Okay, ESPN jumped the gun DL’ing Pagan. Even rotoinfo reported it and still has it up with no updates. So I DL’d him as well and picked up Carp as Pagan was showing up earlier tonight as DL eligible on several of my ESPN teams. Looking at my roster for tomorrow, I have Carp still and Pagan is in the DL slot but no longer eligible. Geeesh….

  78. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: it was Rafael Betancourt.

  79. jr says:

    ethier has been basically worthless lately… morrison and mayberry are both available in my league, should i drop ethier for one of them? does your opinion change if ibanez hits the dl??

  80. nyydj2 says:

    Allen just deposited another souvenir, this one in the second deck, first one was in the third.

  81. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nyydj2: Gotcha

    @Wilsonian: Can lose Espinosa.

    @jr: Ten team league? Go Mayberry if Ibanez is DL’d.

    @nyydj2: Nice!

  82. nyydj2 says:

    Leave it to ESPN to create the 60 minute DL.

  83. Trevor

    tggq21 says:

    DATDUDEBP with a stolen base?? Someone call the Cinci-Tribune!!


    Black n Yellow

  84. jr says:

    yes ten team league. im thinking grab morrison now and wait on hearing whats up with ibanez.

  85. Trevor

    tggq21 says:

    ps. I will win my league this week and it’s all because of you Grey *blushes emoticon*

  86. Wilsonian says:

    @Grey: oops, lost Betancourt already. Figured he loses the gig this weekend anyway. Mayberry is available, too. Pick him up and drop Danny, or drop Danny for Motte?

  87. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nyydj2: Ha!

    @tggq21: Aw, you helped! Black n yellow.

    @jr: Okay

    @Wilsonian: Lose Danny for Mayberry.

  88. chata says:

    @ Grey :

    so , does braun steal 50 next year ?

  89. Steve says:

    At the moment in my 12-team H2H league, I’m alternating between Krispie and Morneau in my Util spot. Just grabbed Bourjos so he will man it for the forseeable.

    I need the roster spot, so who gets the chop? Morneau?

  90. royce! says:

    Your headline called to mind a terrible pun:

    Why won’t the Rays increase the team salary?

    Because they’re stingy.

  91. Steve says:

    Leo Nunez is a clown.

  92. Grey

    Grey says:

    @chata: Ha, I know, right.

    @Steve: Morneau

    @royce!: Nice!

    @Steve: Assclown

  93. Steve says:

    If I may interrupt baseball for a moment, you’ll recall the baseball War Room that Lou and Simply Fred put together?

    Well, now there’s one for football too. Doc over at Football is looking for people to try it out. If you want to, drop him a line at docatrazzballdotcom.

  94. Wilsonian says:

    Gonna go ahead and toss out my whole team here to see what moves I should make (yes I know it clogs the feed, but I need a quick bit of help). It’s a 16 Team h2h (5 player keeper). I’m 0.5 games up, so I’m working hard to win this shit.

    H, R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG, OBPS, W, L, SV, ERA, WHIP, Ks, Ks/9

    C – Napoli
    1B – Konerko
    2B – Lawrie
    3B – Reynolds
    SS – Tulo
    OF – Stanton
    OF – Gardner
    OF – Moreland
    UTIL – Bourjos
    UTIL – Hardy
    BN – Carp
    BN – LoMo
    BN – Espinosa

    SP – Lester
    SP – Gio
    SP – Kuroda
    RP – Kimbrel
    RP – Walden
    P – Parnell
    P – Morrow
    BN – Kennedy
    BN – Lewis

    These are the FA’s: Mayberry, B. Allen, Casper, EYJ, Motte, Sale, Nova, McCarthy.

    Any moves to be made?

  95. chata says:

    @ Steve …(kiwi) :
    here’s an interruption for ya …..

    down off of route 66 , outside of amarillo texas , there’s a steak-house
    that serves a 72 ounce sirloin steak with 2 pieces of texas-size toast ,
    some veggies , and a baked potato (about the size of your foot) .

    all the billboards will tell you that the meal is free IF you can eat it all .
    the kicker is , once inside , that the meal must be consumed in less
    than one hour .

    here’s the guy that holds the record ,
    he finished it in 9 and 1/2 minutes :

    still baseball .

  96. Steve says:

    @chata: Googled the steak house. Feels like I just went back to the 50s.

  97. chata says:

    @ Steve :

    at 9 and 1/2 minutes , wonder if he kept the car running … just to
    keep the air conditioning going .
    (it gets hot down there) .

  98. Steve says:

    @chata: At 9 and 1/2 minutes, I’d want an ambulance standing by.

  99. strugz says:

    Fish have a twin bill tomorrow. Doubtful Uncle Leo pitches. You think he gets replaced long term? Mujica or Cishek?

  100. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wilsonian: Mayberry over Espinosa, McCarthy over Lewis…

    @strugz: I’d go with Mujica…

Comments are closed.