The rocky start to our baseball season continues. The Cardinals are fighting outbreaks. Cleveland is grounding pitchers for breaking protocols. Fernando Rodney is preparing to debut. Cats and dogs living together. Mass hysteria. Sorry, I went full Venkman for a second. Let me wipe the ectoplasm off. There. Now to the prognostication.

  • You can write Rafael Montero’s name in pen as the Rangers closer. He’s been the only one they’ve called to close out games since his return. Seems rash I know. Welcome to fantasy baseball in 2020. Raf may have been everyone’s least favorite TMNT but he may be the best reliever to pop in the SAGNOF scene all year if he stays healthy.
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Well, I knew the 2020 season would be weird, but I guess I really wasn’t expecting it to be quite so grueling.  Filling in for injured players, COVID list players, and players not playing due to other teams’ COVID outbreaks has been from exhausting to downright impossible in my deeper leagues.  Carry on we must, though, as MLB continues to seemingly defy the odds and keeps checking games off the calendar.  This week, we’ll look at some NL names who may be of interest to those of us in the deep-league world.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

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This week on I Can’t Believe It’s Not Not News, Global pandemic be damned, Donkey Teeth sends comedian Billy Hurley and Master of Lothario Grey Albright all around the world to get the first hand scoop on some of the wildest news stories you’ll ever hear.
Billy visited an Emu sex party out in San Francisco, for the good of show, of course. And Grey covered this week’s top story from across the pond as a man had a prosthetic penis attached to his arm. I know, you can’t believe it’s not not news, right? But it is news! 
Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Good Morning baseball fans and welcome to Monday Morning Toilet Talk with Jared!

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.  As we start to get deeper into this shortened season we are getting to the point where we can really pick on up on trends and use some advanced statistics to determine who is playing well and who isn’t.  Today’s slate is a fun one.  There are some cheap bats that you can plug in that will help you pick up some of the higher priced bats that are in really great spots. As you can tell by the subject line, I’m pretty high on this Dustin May ($7,500) lad.  The Padres have some scary bats on their team.  Tatis, Machado, wait, that’s it.  May is pretty cheap tonight for his skill set.  Over the past 2 weeks, he’s K’ing nearly 11 per 9.  One of the things that really stands out to me is the 57% swing rate in the zone.  Essentially, that means players are fooled by his pitches.  He’s also inducing a soft contact rate of 27.30% over the past 2 weeks.  That’s 2nd best of all pitchers on today’s slate.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The 2nd game in a row Dinelson Lamet has taken a no-hitter into the 6th inning and, this time, it went into the 7th, ending up 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 11 Ks, ERA at 1.61. I’m about to start moaning out his name like a pizza deliveryman in a porn. “I didn’t ask for sausage.” “And I didn’t ask for my salad to be hand-tossed, but here we are.” There’s no whacks on Dinelson as he keeps the whacks off. Now paint the fence! *Dinelson starts painting Mejia’s glove* No, the fence, not ‘fense. Forget it, you’re beautiful. There’s nothing to gleam from 22 1/3 IP, other than to say he’s regularly hitting 97 MPH, and, while he only has two pitches, they’re good and there’s no reason to think he can’t keep something resembling this for 40 more innings. With a drooling sly grin, “Did someone order a Meat Lover’s?” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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While I’m sure we’re all ready to close our eyes and hum loudly until it’s 2030, I empathize with the fact that Wil Myers was probably doing the same thing circa 2018-2019. (Same thing Padres’ fans have done for the past millennia.) And I’ll be the first one to admit, there has been many-a-thing I’ve said about Myers in my humble yet strikingly handsome past, and I would say many of those things were not positive. But I was but a small voice in a larger chorus… Okay, not that large, there are like what, a dozen Padres fans? The other dozen are here just to wear our retro browns. But yeah, while he has a beautiful head of hair, Myers’ defense (lol) is akin to a cat drowning in quicksand, and his hitting, while not seppuku-worthy, doesn’t really match his albatross of a contract that will most likely last the next 58 years or so at the tune of 28 billionty dollars a month. Something like that. So of course, this time, of all times, is when Myers has chosen to rise out of this tulmit and actually hit the ball, so shall we examine what happens when keeping Wil actually goes right…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

After a mediocre opening week, I’m pretty happy with the results for last week. Alec Mills and Zach Plesac were great as our two-start streamers and guys like Michael Wacha, David Peterson and Christian Javier were solid too. The COVID craziness from last week is about to wreak havoc on the rest of the season though, with St. Louis likely missing more games. There are so many doubleheaders this week and it’s hard to even grasp what these rotations will look like and when people will pitch. I do have a decent idea right now though and I’ll do my best to provide you with some great streamers to ride the wave this week! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

Welcome back to JKJ’s School of Waiver Wire Wizardry. It’s time for Lesson Two, where I hope to improve upon my decently successful Lesson One.

James Karinchak doesn’t have the closer gig like I and many others thought he would, so that’s a big time bummer, not only as-an-analyst-wise, but also multiple-Karinchak-owner-wise. Still worth a stash because Brad Hand really isn’t all that great anymore, and Karinchak is a good ratios and strikeout guy, and holds if your league counts ’em. Hand’s K-rate is still very healthy, but man he’s given up a lot of barreled balls already and the xERA is over 4. I really think it’s only a matter of time.

Colin Moran predictably has gone cold. Teoscar Hernandez a little bit as well but the BA is still healthy (for now). JaCoby Jones has been holding up nicely, at least. Oh, and that Trent Grisham guy is raking. He’s looking like a budding superstar, with the rare power and speed combo we just don’t see much in baseball anymore. I tossed in a quick note about Donovan Solano at the end, and he’s been smacking base hit after base hit since. Planned to cover him this week but his ownership rates ballooned.

Nothing to write home about with my other picks from last week. Let’s see if I do better this time around.

Remember, students, 2020 is a weird one. The hotties need to be given a shot. Don’t be the guy who looks back at the missed opportunities that could have given you your asterisk-laden fantasy baseball title! Just kidding, for the record. No asterisks this year. We’re all in this same crazy boat together.

Note: Only players in the 30th percentiles (39% or below) on either Yahoo! or ESPN are considered. All stats as of 8/7/2020. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
 

The last few times of written my DFS articles the pitching has been atrocious, as seems to be the norm this season.  Today however, we have an abundance of aces to choose from.  Picking which one will produce the best value is the tricky part.  Jacob deGrom ($11,100) is the most expensive options, but given his opponent, is the one most likely to win you your cash games and even keep you in your GPPs.  The Marlins continue to be a team I am targeting whenever I can and deGrom should have a field day with them.  Can we expect 7+ innings and double digit strikeouts?  I believe we can!  DeGrom is also only $300 more than Sonny Gray, which seems wild to me, but I’m plugging and playing deGrom today.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?