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Not only is it bad for marriage, but it is  doomsday for fantasy baseball.  Rostering three relievers from one team, all who accrue saves is just a blight on society.  No one has the ability to carry three separate relievers from one team.  Unless… naw… it’s just stupid to even think about. Two, I can be on board with.  Definitely two.  So you and two guys from one bullpen can have a save-a-trois.  This is the good/bad problem right now with fantasy baseball.  When do we say when for owning relievers from one team.  We almost need a safe word, and even then we wanna over-rosterbate and leave lineup chafe marks.  The current situations in Houston and Milwaukee are both good and bad.  The good are Chris Devenski and Josh Hader.  The semi-good is Jacob Barnes and Brad Peacock.  The bad is bringing in and rostering Matt Albers and Ken Giles.  I say they are bad only because it brings back the too many hens in the savehouse-type scenario.  Plus, Ken Giles has basically been phased with high-end stuff lately and he of the high draft choice are just wasting away like Dick Gregory on the Bohemian diet.  It is an impossible pill to swallow, that he’s a drop just 15 games into the season, but at what point do you look at your losses and start accruing stats that matter from a coveted relief spot?  (Stats that actually matter.)  No, Greg Holland walks don’t count, ya donkey. So when rostering relievers, think two max.  The only other fourth guy that should be looking at the save circle jerk is if you are comfortable enough having a cameraman.  Stay tuned kiddies, more tidbits of closer-dom after the bump… plus the first in-season 12 Buck Salads, Donkeycorns, Employed, and Freezes!

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A little over four years ago my girlfriend and I moved in together. Or, more accurately, I moved from my mom’s basement to my girlfriend’s basement. Shortly after the move, my lady and I were having dinner with my grandparents. It was during this meal that I received some of the only praise I’ve ever received from my grandfather: “Nice work Donkey, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!?”

You’re probably wondering what this is going to have to do with fantasy baseball. What’s the milk going to be in this analogy? And is Bartolo Colon the cow? Of course he’s the cow! But not for the reasons you’re thinking. He has big bones, people! Cut Big Boned Bart some slack! I’m going to leave you on the edge of the toilet seat in your office bathroom, contemplating this analogy for just a little longer.

First, I need to add a preface; the following bit of fantasy baseball theory is mainly geared towards season long rotisserie leagues. If you only play head to head leagues you can feel free to flip back to that pornhub tab for the last few minutes of your bathroom break. Unless of course you’re looking for more sage life lessons from Grandpa Donkey, in that case stick around.

In recent seasons you may have noticed the league-wide pitching numbers are on the decline across the board in a big way. Starting pitchers are throwing fewer and fewer innings while giving up more and more runs. Whereas only a couple years ago it may have taken a 3.25 ERA and a 1.15 WHIP to win those categories in your league, this past season a 3.75 ERA and 1.20 WHIP was plenty to land the top spots in many roto leagues. I’ve compiled some data in the tables below to support these claims.

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Got to get down on Friday. Personally, I had some success on FanDuel yesterday and you might’ve too if you used the Razzball lineup optimizer, which led me to a Lester/Tigers/Orioles lineup for the early slate and a lineup with Jake Arrieta, Ketel Marte, and Brandon Belt in the main slate. So of course I’m riding high after yesterday and I couldn’t have a picked a better time to do so as it is 4/20. Get it? Alright, alright, alright stay tuned for more bad 4/20 jokes and my DFS research and recommendations.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Charlie Morton aka Ground Chuck was playing “Hamburger Patty Cake” with the Mariners yesterday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, 0 walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.72, WHIP at 0.88.  Ground Chuck said, “I’m A-1, try to ketchup.”  Then he took a long pull off his Jamaican meat patty, and continued to speak in food allusions, “I’m topped by Monterey Jack, you’re whack.” Ground Chuck cracked his knuckles, “I make you so gay, you try to find Ground Chuck on Grindr.”   Then, after a pause, “Gay, as in happy, but no judgments.”  Finally, concluding, “If the Babe had a kid named Chris, then Ruth’s Chris still ain’t got shizz on Morton’s.”  Charlie Morton sounds a bit cocky there, but he has every reason to be.  In the preseason, I said, “A pitcher that goes through life as an also-ran to turn it around in his 30’s is rare.  One other guy comes to mind, his name rhymes with Bitch Chill.  Anyhoo, I’m buying into Morton’s transformation.  How about a late-in-career transformation we call The Caitlyn Jenner?  No?  Okay.”  And that’s me quoting me!  One thing I did not understand at all was why there were so many skeptics on Morton this preseason.  It was as if they ignored all of his previous season, and did not watch him in the playoffs.  Ground Chuck is Salisbury Steak’ing his claim as a top five starter.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Ah, the highs and lows we’ve already experienced in a mere few weeks of baseball action. So many players to be optimistic about, yet so many to be worried about. It’s still early, but I’m having trouble keeping myself from daydreaming about how a full season of numbers from my deep-league, off-to-a-great-start guys that I managed to draft late or on the cheap would look on my teams. For me, this group includes Nick Pivetta, Rick Porcello, Tim Anderson, and early-frontrunner-to-be-my-2018-imaginary-fantasy-baseball-boyfriend Josh Hader. On the flip side, I’ve got the guys that I invested early and/or often in, that I’m already feeling very, very queasy about. If these players don’t turn it around, they can sink a team’s season — at least in the deep-league world where they are all you’ve got to field your lineup with, and can’t just be easily replaced on the waiver wire. I’m talking to you Jose Quintana, Jon Gray, Orlando Arcia, and Evan Gattis (okay, I didn’t actually draft Gattis anywhere this year, and you probably didn’t either if you read Razzball regularly, but you get the idea).

Is there anyone you are already feeling that special bond with and feel may be a game-changer for your team(s) this season? And/or, who are you already worrying may have tanked your season before it’s really had a chance to get going? While you’re thinking about that, let’s discuss some guys who may be available and able to offer some assistance in the deepest leagues where you have a dead roster spot to fill.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re another week into the season, so chances are another injury has come up that you need to deal with. Or maybe enough is enough and you are finally moving on from one of your struggling hitters. Perhaps you checked the standings and are scanning the waiver wire in search of adding more home runs or stolen bases. Whatever the reason may be, I’m here again to help you get ahead in your H2H leagues and Phill up your offense. Because as they always say, the best pitching is a great offense!

I am aware that there are varying league and roster sizes and that some of the guys I recommend may not be available anymore. I go by ownership percentage, but I realize the Razzball community is smarter and more well informed than your typical fantasy baseballer. So I tried to include some lower owned players, but if you would like to see more deep league options in the future just let me know below. Most of the following are owned in ~50% of leagues so at least a few of these guys should be available to you.

I have broken down these suggestions into: One guy that should be owned already in your league, four guys that could be owned, and one guy that will be owned shortly…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oblique? More like nooooooblique! Seems like it is a mild one so he has that going for Jonathan Schoop, 2B, (strained oblique). Which is goodblique. Orioles are hoping for a minimum stay, but I think it’ll be similar to Christian Yelich where they hold him out for 15-20 days instead of just the minimum 10. Stash or Trash: Stash. Fill In: Howie Kendrick (14.5%.) Nobody wants to play Howie Kendrick — we all just somehow end up with him on our team at some point throughout the year when our players get hurt. (Which always coincides with that two game a month hot streak Kendrick always has.) The conversation we usually have with ourselves when it comes time to add Kendrick typically ends with “I guess I’ll grab Howie Kendrick to replace ____” Here’s the same old song and dance you hear about Kendrick every year: he’s hit safely in every game he’s played this season except one. He’ll accidentally hit 1-2 HRs right before you pick him up, but then won’t hit 1-2 more until right after you drop him two weeks later. Howie-ver, he won’t hurt your AVG/OBP and could provide a HR and a nice handful of runs in the Nats lineup until Schoop comes back. Then you can pass him back to the waivers until someone else needs him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I couldn’t think of a topic relevant to today’s slate to cover in the introduction, so instead I’ll just quickly mention one factor that sometimes will be overlooked when deciding pitchers on FanDuel due to FanDuel’s insistence on having the Quality Start be worth 4 points (though it’s better than the odious win, which shouldn’t be a thing). In the National League, because they are ridiculous and still think it’s a good idea to waste people’s time by having the pitcher bat, a road team pitcher who is pinch hit for in the 6th inning will, by definition, not be eligible for a QS. The home team pitcher who gets pinch hit for in the 6th will have pitched 6 innings. So while it’s obviously a very small factor, it still can sometimes be a tiebreaker – road National League pitchers have a marginal FanDuel disadvantage because they are a little less likely to qualify for a QS.

On to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

…And presenting our next award is Chance the Rapper and Grey the Napper.  *I lean into the mic*  “Thank you, it’s wonderful to be here.  Did you know the inventor of Ping Pong originally named it Fing Fong?  Yup, but he had terrible penmanship.”  *no one laughs*  “Oh, hey, there’s Jeff Daniels.  My dad loves you, but calls you Jack Daniels.  Then again, I’m not sure he’s talking about you.  Anyway, the nominees for our first Teoscar are… Teoscar Hernandez, from years in the minors of 17 homers, 33 steals.  Teoscar Hernandez, from the projections of 17/17 for this year.  Finally, Tesocar Hernandez, playing a fire emoji in The Emoji Movie, who yesterday went 4-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs, hitting .421, with his 1st homer, while coming a double short of the cycle.  And the winner is…  *fumbles with envelope*  “Wow!  Tesocar Hernandez.”  “He was the only one nominated, and it’s called the Teoscars.”  “Shut up, Chance!  You’re ruining the ratings!  By the way, to cover the weed smell in your house, you should open a Subway sandwich shop in your living room.”  So, obviously Teoscar’s been all that and a swag bag of freebies, and I would grab him in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Strong takes are my thing. Whether it be needling Baseball Prospectus over their Jorge Alfaro ranking, clashing with consensus over Rhys Hoskins, or why Shohei Ohtani wasn’t a bust before he ever threw his first regular season pitch. My opinions are strong, and I’m not one to back down if I truly believe something based on first hand looks and research. I mean, don’t even get me started on the “newly-promoted” Tyler O’Neill takes. It’s almost as if I’m the head of my very own agency, lobbying for my players value like Scott Boras with a briefcase of binders.  Yet another player who’s represented by my pretend “on-line defense agency” is Padres rookie phenom Joey Lucchesi. I ranked him 161st in my mid-season 2017 Top 200 prospects, and even predicted a 2018 MLB debut. I’m not alone on this site in my love for Lucchesi, my best friend since forever, Lance, wrote about him as a deep sleeper in late March. There’s also this tweet I tossed out there in December. Needless to say, without further chest thumping, I’m a fan of Lucchesi. There’s been a bit of misinformation out there regarding his repertoire, pedigree, etc. Today I hope to set some of that straight after watching his most recent turn against the San Francisco retirement home.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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