I went to a museum many of years ago and saw a 5′ x 5′ white canvas with a 2″ black line running down the middle of it. I looked left and saw a couple on the brink of orgasm looking at it. To my right was a man with glasses that looked as if the Riddler had hypnotized him. What was I missing? Shrooms, perhaps? I’m no connoisseur of art by any means, but this Son has a little culture running through his veins, so I do appreciate art. Much of it makes no sense to me, which I guess makes me a simpleton. Michelangelo’s statue of David, though? I get. The detail. The craftsmanship. I can see it. The only questions would be: Was it cold in there? and Was David Asian? Anyways, there’s no denying what David Peralta (77.1% owned – increase of 11.1%) has been doing on the baseball field. In 285 plate appearances, David has clubbed 14 home runs with 39 RBI and 2 stolen bases. The triple slash has been .277/.337/.500. He bats cleanup, strikes out only 22.1% of the time, and has a robust 48.7% hard contact rate. What about that humidor thing? Humidor Schumidor. David has a higher walk rate, lower strikeout rate, and higher ISO at home than on the road. Now, he does struggle against left-handed pitching (29.9% strikeout rate and .228 batting average), but he has hit 3 home runs off them and still bats fifth in the lineup. On the Razzball Player Rater, David is the 28th outfielder. TREASURE

Jurickson Profar (54.6% owned – increase of 9.7%) has 41 RBI on the season, the same number as Nelson Cruz and Rhys Hoskins and one more than Giancarlo Stanton. Profar has also hit 8 home runs and stolen 4 bases. He’s only batting .240 but the BABIP is a low .249 and the strikeout rate is a paltry 12.6%. He’s also a switch hitter that bats 4th or 5th in the lineup. There are so many things to like. But, but, but….Elvis Andrus is back and the Rangers are not about to bench the $49.5 million dollar man in Rougned Odor, so Profar will become a utility player. That could actually be a good thing, though, because he will still play around five days a week and more than likely get 2B eligibility, to add onto the SS and OF that he already has. TREASURE

Justin Smoak (75.1% owned – decrease of 7.9%) hit 38 home runs last season in 637 plate appearances. Currently, Smoak is at 9 home runs for the 2018 campaign, so he’d have to go on a serious heater to even sniff last years level. Can he do it? The plate discipline has been good. 16% walk rate and 24.5% strikeout rate. 8.3% swinging strike rate is very good and he’s only chasing 21.5% of pitches outside the strike zone. The hard contact rate is only 31.5% and the line drive rate is only 13.9%. Barrel % is a career-low 9.7 and topped % is a career-high 34.5. According to Baseballsavant.com, opposing teams are employing the shift 87.8% of the time when he bats from the left side of the plate. Teams definitely have a plan of attack against him and the shift is eating him alive. If Smoak was just flailing away, I’d actually have some optimism because patience is something he could exhibit to change it up. But, as mentioned above, patience has not been the problem. I do like that he’s batting 2nd in the order and he’s going to run into a couple or ten home runs here and there. With that said, getting to 30 home runs for the season seems like a stretch. TRASH

   
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Smoak’s trash proclamation saddens me, but I understand it was necessary. My Giancarlo bless you with fruits of his looms.

    • Son

      Son says:
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      @Grey: Me too Grey. Me too. You think it’s just a timing thing with him?

      As for the Giancarlo, I heard his favorite fruit is dingleberries.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Weird, my favorite fruit is Giancarlo’s dingleberries… I think Smoak’s problems are the shift, as you pointed out, they’re attacking him better

        • Son

          Son says:
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          @Grey: Ha!

          Do you see it playing out like Texeira? That’s kk d of what I’m feeling

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            PABST? Why?

            • Son

              Son says:
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              @Grey: I have no idea what PABST is

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Post-All-star-Break Stats from Teixeira — c’mon, man!

                • Son

                  Son says:
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                  @Grey: Ha! My bad. I was kicked out of Acronym University.

                  I just remember that the shift really affected Tex negatively. Am I mis-remembering? Fake news?

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    I don’t remember, tbh (to be honest)

                    • Son

                      Son says:
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                      @Grey: Ha! You jerk!

  2. Terrence Mann says:
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    This series is one of my favorite things on this site. Apparently, nobody else reads it so Grey’s wife smells of elderberries.

  3. The Shoe says:
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    Hope you’re having a great weekend, Son!

    Could you help me with ranking/evaluating the following pitchers:

    Eflin, Musgrove, Gibson, Peralta, Velasquez, Wheeler

    I’m thinking to add 2 or 3 of these guys to my team. Who do you think are the best long-term options?

    Thanks as always!

    • Son

      Son says:
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      @The Shoe: Sup Shoe!

      I’d rank them:

      Eflin
      Velasquez
      Peralta
      Musgrove
      Gibson
      Wheeler

  4. The Shoe says:
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    Thanks Son! I forgot to put Bieber into that pitcher list. Where would you slot him in?

    • Son

      Son says:
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      @The Shoe: I think to the top of the list

      • The Shoe says:
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        @Son: I hope being a belieber pays off! Enjoy the rest of this first summer weekend. Peace!

          • The Shoe says:
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            @Son: Good thing this coffee shop wifi I’m on doesn’t allow youtube streaming! Looks like I’ll have to wait to enjoy the Bieber in the safety of my own home.

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