In opposite world, news that Andrew Bailey hurt himself comes as a complete shock.¬† Here’s what I said in the top 20 closers for 2011 fantasy baseball, “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, ‚ÄúAndrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.‚ÄĚ¬† Hey, Bailey, throw already!”¬† And that’s me quoting me!¬† Unfortunately, when Bailey is cleared to start throwing he leaves games with tightness in his forearm.¬† Wouldn’t be surprised to hear Bailey will miss the season for more surgery as he’s off to see Dr. Freeze.¬† Justin Duchscherer, Rich Harden and Andrew Bailey board your cross country flight, do you get off and wait for the next one knowing that something bad is bound to happen?¬† I do. ¬† I take no pleasure in watching Bailey go down; less pleasure in watching Balfour or Fuentes take over.¬† In leagues where we had the option, we grabbed Fuentes because he has a lengthier closer resume, assuming the Sciosciapath isn’t listed as a reference.¬† Fuentes could get 35 saves this year.¬† Would surprise me as much as Bailey’s injury.¬† Anyway, here’s some other news for fantasy baseball:
Neftali Feliz – Now he wants to be the starter.¬† And I wanna be the King of Hawaii and wear a coconut bra.¬† Things don’t always work out the way you want them.¬† It’s worth grabbing Ogando or O’Day.¬† Rudy thinks Ogando has better upside; I say O’Day is otay.¬† You can go with this or you can go with that.¬† The choice is yours.
Drew Storen – The Nats keep saying they want to go to a closer by committee.¬† Which is nudge, nudge, wink, wink for, “Storen, pull away with the job!”¬† Unfortunately, Storen’s nudge, nudge, wink, wink translator was locked up for being within 250 feet of a high school.¬† If you have room, Clippard is a decent handcuff.
Casey Blake – What, no more closing news?¬† That’s some bullshizz!¬† Blake has a sore back.¬† He’s old; these things happen.¬† He probably also wakes up 7 times a night to pee.¬† You shouldn’t be drafting Blake anyway, unless your league has a rule that you must own one player with a wife killer surname.
Mike Morse – I write a post about how you should ignore spring training numbers on Friday then people get excited about Morse hitting five homers in nine games on Monday.¬† Chris Shelton called, he wants his home runs back.¬† If there’s any sort of blahtoon in the Nats outfield, Morse is sitting vs. righties.¬† That kills his value.¬† If Morse gets 550 ABs, he could hit 24 homers with no speed and a .280 average.¬† But that ‘if’ has its own zoning project that is currently getting gentrified.¬† In NL-Only leagues, I’d definitely own him.¬† In mixed leagues under 15 teams, you’re taking a flyer that is probably going to bore you.
Jason Heyward – Missed two games with back stiffness.¬† Weird, I get stiffness when I watch him play.¬† What, too much?¬† Oh, sorry, Prudey McPrudestein.¬† I’m not worried about Heyward.¬† It’s spring training, players have nagging shizz that teams want to baby because these games mean nothing.¬† He’s good, you’re good, we’re good.
Ian Stewart – About to return from a strained MCL.¬† (A strained 1150?¬† Doode, get out of the Middle Ages!)¬† Stewart will DH out of the gate and then hit against righties once the season starts.¬† I’m really starting to think Stewart’s not going to be a full-time player, which hurts his and Wigginton’s value.¬† Really need one to get ghost chili hot and make the other obsolete.
Zach Duke – Broken hand, which gives Diamondback fans two months to enjoy a non-Zach Duke rotation.¬† This leaves Armando Galarraga, Uncle Barry Enright and Aaron Heilman set to go into the Octagon for the final rotation spots with Heilman probably getting eye gouged.
Johan Santana – Someone in the always-entertaining Mets organization said Johan won’t pitch this year.¬† Johan said someone in the Mets organization is lying.¬† I believe Johan, but that still doesn’t mean he’s pitching this year.¬† If he has one setback and the Mets do their usual Mr. Bungle in the NL East, there’s no rush to bring him back.
Chris Dickerson – Left the game after running into the now-slimmed down Sandoval.¬† This is like when George “The Animal” Steele used to chew off the turnbuckle.¬† Don’t run into Sandoval without the padding!