Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.”Â What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy?Â Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’Â Oh, and nice mustache.” Â Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five times in his short career.Â Always with these little niggling injuries.Â Shoulder fatigue this, ankle sprain that.Â Someone get this guy some HGH.Â I’d like to see a rule put into place that every player who has an injury needs to make two phone calls before they’re able to go on the DL.Â One phone call to discuss their injury with Cal Ripken.Â Another phone call to a Holocaust survivor.Â If they can handle the guilt and still think their injury should force them out of action, then so be it.Â Nelson Cruz will be out at least two weeks.Â Nothing you can do but DL him and try to find a decent replacement.Â David Murphy’s a good in-house one.Â Though he needs to benched by you and the Rangers vs. lefties.Â Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Anderson – B.A. could miss up to 6 weeks.Â So far it’s been a bad week to be listed in the risky pitchers for 2010 post.Â Two guys hit the DL, another guy strained his groin.Â Hey, there’s my groin… No, wait.Â That’s my outie belly button.Â Damn, I shouldn’t be straining to find– Ouch! I was pretty hands off with Brett Anderson this year.Â As in, there’s Brett Anderson in my drafts and I’m not touching him.Â A forearm strain… Shoot, anything with the arm is tricky for a pitcher.Â You thought I didn’t want to own him before the injury, guess how I feel about him now.Â One hundred sixty pounds! That’s trying to guess my weight, random italicized voice.Â Totally my bad! But you’re kinda SOL right now because you can’t sell him for fifty cents on the dollar… Well, I mean you could, but I wouldn’t.Â If you were to wait until he returns and pitches well, then traded him.Â I could get behind that.
Jorge de la Rosa – The 2nd risky pitcher to make his way to the DL; de la Rosa’s suffering from a torn tendon in his middle finger.Â In layman’s terms, this is called a wounded bird.Â Rox docs are saying he should only miss a few starts.Â I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but this is a similar injury that Wainwright suffered a few years ago and it knocked him out from June 7th, 2008 until August 22nd.Â Listen, I don’t even know what to take for an upset stomach, so I’m obviously no doctor, but don’t try and buy de la Rosa on the cheap.
Chris Iannetta – Sent to the minors.Â I’m in a league where I had him sitting in my catcher slot all year.Â I’m also in first place in that league.Â I’m telling you, guys and three girl readers.Â Your catchers don’t matter.Â Just throw someone in there.Â In that league, I grabbed John Jaso for s’s and g’s.Â Olivo is a great option if he’s out there.
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 as he hit leadoff.Â Followed by Fowler, Helton, Tulo and CarGo.Â Now that’s a lineup!
Jason Bay – Hit his first homer of the year.Â Glad to see Metco can’t hold in his power.Â Just severely limit it.
Carlos Santana – He might be up any day now.Â At least within the next month.Â As I told someone yesterday, look at Wieters’s stats last year.Â Look at Wieters’s stats this year –> he has one home run, 6 Runs and 7 RBIs.Â What are you hoping to get from Carlos Santana?Â A lunch date with Rob Thomas?Â If you’re hoping Carlos Santana saves your team, you have a lot bigger fish to fry.Â I wouldn’t be surprised to see Carlos Santana get called up and do nothing productive until next July.Â Oh, and Santana’s dealing with a knee injury.
Buster Posey – See 1/8 of an inch above.
Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks and has a 2.19 ERA on the year.Â See little reason why it can’t continue.Â Could he be the Red Sox ace this year?Â Without a shadow of a doubt.Â It’s amazing to me the comments I still get asking if people should pick him up.Â Are these one team leagues?Â Own Buchholz before you give me an ulcer.
Brandon Wood – Yesterday, I mentioned that Wood has hit in three straight games.Â Now it’s four as he went 3-for-4 with a homer.
Austin Kearns – 6 for his last 10 with two homers.Â He won’t be good for the whole season, but right now Kearns has the juice.
Dioner Navarro – Suspended for two games for bumping an ump.Â Navarro apologized saying the ump kept humming “Been Caught Stealing” and he just lost it.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – All catchers, all the time on Razzball, huh?Â Salty should be bacchia by the end of the week.Â If you lost Iannetta, he’s another option I’d look at.
Max Ramirez – I swear, this is the last catcher for today.Â If you want, skip down to the next blurb.Â No?Â Okay, but don’t pout.Â That’s for guys who play fantasy golf.Â Max Ramirez will actually be covered this afternoon by Stephen.Â Coinkydink, huh?Â Max Ramirez, who sounds like a Latino-Yiddish fusion chef, was the name bandied about for Mike Lowell this past offseason.Â Ramirez has good power but the Rangers might just leave him as a backup to their backstop since his defense is poor.Â It’s a sitch that’s worth watching.
Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 0 ER and his first save of the year.Â “I take back what is mine.Â Then I make love to your women,” said Frank-Frank as he entered from the bullpen.Â Even money says Frank-Frank is the closer again-again.
Zack Greinke – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks as he was appropriately Greinke’d.
Randy Wolf – 8 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks and a no decision.Â Hey, seems like old times.
Trevor Hoffman – 1 IP, 5 ER.Â Ouch… Wait, what?Â Oh.Â Ouch.
Derek Lowe – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.Â It hurts me soul when I hear people own Lowe.
Ryan Ludwick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer as he now bats .303 on the year.Â I’ve seen worse 5th outfielders.Â Hey, Nate McLousy, that’s you!
Jon Garland – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.Â I don’t buy it.Â He’s still a hodgepadre.
Edwin Jackson – 2 1/3 IP, 10 ER.Â But just think, if you had drafted him last year, he would’ve been good.
Cody Ross – Missed yesterday’s game with a nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head fever.Â Maybe he’s allergic to the thought of losing his job to Mike Stanton.
Justin Verlander – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.Â It’s not May yet, but don’t tell Verlander.
Francisco Liriano – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.Â Three weeks ago, I traded Jenks for Liriano and Maybin.Â ABtC –> Always Be trading Closers.
Justin Morneau – Left the game with a stiff back.Â Might’ve been from trying to catch up with Verlander’s 100 MPH fastball.
Brian Roberts – Still hasn’t started any baseball activities.Â No spitting, no ball scratching, no nothing.
Rhyne Hughes – 1-for-4, 1 Run and RBI.Â Now has a hit in every game he’s appeared in, but he won’t face lefties, at least for now.
Jim Johnson – Trembley looks at his bullpen and gets the *pinkie to mouth* shakes.Â He said the Orioles don’t have a closer.Â Johnson’s just a guy who can’t pitch that has appeared in the ninth inning in the past.Â Yesterday, Johnson appeared in the 8th.Â Giving way for the one, the only…
Alfredo Simon – Yeah, I’m a save whore.Â I’ll admit it.Â I grabbed him in multiple leagues.Â By the time I grabbed him in every league I could, he had two men on and was about to blow the save.Â He escaped.Â Barely.Â During his almost blown save, Jim Palmer said, “I told Simon in spring training just throw to the mitt.Â And wear Jockey underwear.”Â I added the last part.Â Simon’s stuff looked decent from what I saw, but his minor league numbers show a guy who barely has a 5 K/9.Â Who throws 90+ MPH and only Ks 5 guys per 9?Â The Orioles new closer, that’s who!
Rajai Davis – Sat out because of a slump so Pennington hit leadoff and went 4-for-5 with a homer.Â Uh-oh.
Ben Sheets – 4 IP, 8 ER as your A’s got the Sheets.