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So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs.  This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN!  All the way across the sky!  OH.  MY.  GOD.  A double home run.  Wait, is this a triple home run?  No, it’s a double home run.  It’s beautiful.  *cries*  The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health.  If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average.  Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27.  Yum with a double shot of gimme.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, still got love for him and am still willing to go to PTA meetings for Eric Young Jr. Jr., but it’s worth noting that he now has three errors in the last two games.  Barmes may see more time in the 2nd half of games as a defensive replacement.

Jorge de la Rosa – 7 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks and his line looked even better before he left two men on for Beimel to let score.  He gets the Diamondbacks next and I’d start him there sans hesitation.  Or sansitation, for those that enjoy a good portmanteau.

Adrian Gonzalez – 3-for-4, 5 RBIs and 2 homers.  Now hit ten more homers before the end of the season and we’ll be cool.

Chris Young – Will start on Saturday vs. the Cards in The Lou.  Would like this start better if it was in Petco.  Young had a 7.82 ERA in Away games last year and 5.27 in 2008.  Both years his home ERA was below 3.  Unless you’re desperate, I’d let him pitch from my bench.  Remember though, if he’s on your bench, don’t sit anyone short behind him.

Carlos Zambrano – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  I’m not a huge fan of Big Z, but he hasn’t thrown a bad start since he returned to the rotation on August 9th.  Really should be owned in every league.

J.A. Happ – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He obviously wasn’t a sub-3 ERA pitcher.  His luck was bound to run out in the landmark case of Sooner vs. Later.

Brandon Lyon – Well, the closer role in Houston got murkier yesterday.  Lyon gave up a run and blew the save then Lindstrom came into the 10th and gave up two runs.  Houston, we have a shituation.

Rickie Weeks – 2-for-5 with his 27th homer.  Weeks has more RBI than Fielder and more homers than Braun.  If I’d known that going into the year, I’d have put my life savings on the Brewers not making the playoffs.

Brian Duensing – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He was in last week’s borderline starters and next week’s is coming this afternoon.  How’s dem apples?  Delicious!

Kyle Drabek – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I would’ve loved to watch him, but my Direct TV cut out during the pregame (which is not pronounced like edamame).  So going on the box score, looks like Drabek wasn’t fooling anyone.  He’s young, doesn’t change how I feel about him for keepers or next year.  To gaze at my Kyle Drabek fantasy, go there.

Brad Bergesen – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Even a broken clock is right a few times a season.

Jered Weaver – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 baserunner, 7 Ks.  More incredibly, he actually got run support.  A’la Vicki Lawrence as Mama, “Well, I’ll be!”

Russell Branyan – 1-for-3 with his 25th homer.  All he does is hit home runs!  No, really, that’s all he does.

Homer Bailey – Left the game with dizziness after allowing 3 earned runs and 5 walks.  Hey, maybe Oliver Perez is dizzy.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-3 with his 18th homer.  You may want to put away sharp objects when you read this next line.  According to ESPN’s Player Rater, Stubbs has been as valuable as Matt Kemp.

Jason Bay – Said he’s feeling great and free of any post-concussion symptoms, but he’s still not coming back this year.  Canadians — Bay and Morneau — had a bad year for concussions.  What’s it called when a Canadian misses extended time from work?  A maple leaf of absence.  *sad trombone*

Jenrry Mejia – Left yesterday’s game with a strain in his shoulder.  Likely shutdown for the year.  No word if the injury happened when he was trying to roll the R’s in his first name.

Wilson Betemit – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 2nd straight game with a homer.  Yes, you should pick him up.  Yes, now.

Mike Minor – 5 IP, 4 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Really was just a victim of an ill-timed grand slam to Maxwell, who is one sexy piece of chocolate… Wait, wrong Maxwell.  I’m still going to like Minor next year.  I know, up the down staircase, Sandy Dennis, but that’s how rookies do.

Phil Hughes – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I’ve been saying this for about a month now.  You can do better than Hughes off waivers.  Duensing, for instance.  He’s been better.

James Shields – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Yankees.  I was about to write how no one got sonavabenched because no one owns him but then I looked and saw he’s owned in 93% of leagues.  Are you people crazy?  He has a 1.41 WHIP and 4.86 ERA after this solid start.  Even after this start, I’d drop him.

Dan Johnson – 2-for-3 with 2 homers.  The Pride of Coon Rapids!  (BTW, there was discussion in Minnesota about changing the name of this city.  Some felt it was derogatory.  I think it’s too vague.  Change it to Coon Rabids.)

Emilio Bonifacio – 2-for-5 as he continued his hot hitting.  Own players when they are hot.  That’s my mottofacio.

Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-4 with his 18th homer.  Not doing a whole lot, but now has two homers in the week, i.e., two more than Prince Fielder.

Brad Lidge – 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Kazaam, as he generated a save for Jose Contreras.  Manuel changes his underwear more than he changes closers and that’s not a whole lot.

Raul Ibanez – 3-for-5, 2 Runs and 2 RBIs.  Hitting well over his last ten games and worth riding while hot.

Gavin Floyd – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks.  After the game, he tweeted, “I pitched.  #sucky”

Chris Sale – 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  Of course down 6 runs Ozzie pitches the guy who he just said was his closer.  Of course he does!  Why wouldn’t he?  I will now don a potato sack and walk into traffic.

Jaime Garcia – Early yesterday, the Cards announced that Garcia would be shutdown for the year.  Later in the day, the Cards announced he would be skipped one turn and be reevaluated.  Much later in the day, I wrote this.  Today, you’re reading it.  Tomorrow is Friday.  Yay!

Ryan Franklin – Heading home to deal with some personal issues.  I know what it meant when a girl in high school would go home with ‘personal issues,’ so I’m guessing Franklin has cramps and/or is pregnant.

  1. jsp2014 says:

    a double home run? what does this mean??

  2. Black Beard says:

    Own Stubbs next year…check.

  3. d2bnz says:

    Franklin……I’m going with preggers.

  4. Steve says:

    Just grabbed Betemit for my H2H Util slot.

    Or do you like Raburn better?

  5. Greg Gallagher says:

    I ran Shields out there last night! In the semis of a H2H league up against Tulowitzki, the only chance I’ve got is to Hail Mary pitching.

    D-Lowe….Hudson at Cincy……Shields……*clutches rabbit’s foot*

    Shields gets 2 starts next week – Yanks and M’s. Then probably one more – provisionally, looks like KC on the final day of the season……

  6. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Thanks for the salt in my Kemp wound. Gotta’ love owning a guy who has ‘undroppable’ talent but is literally killing your H2H playoff bid.

    Re: Shields… he’s owned in all 7 roto leagues I’m in, y’know, the ones where I’ve been the only owner making moves for the past 4 months? Yeah, those.

  7. majortommy says:

    I just dropped Rodney for Sales in a Roto league and now Ozzie is playing head games with me!

    Blackburn vs Oak
    Wade Davis vs LAA
    Bumgarner vs MIL

    Grey what did you think of Kevin taking the Top Chef title last night. I was happy for him. Angello was lucky to have Hung as his sous, if he had Ilan he had no chance and seeing Voltagio reminded me how much I hate that cocky prick. Yeah dude we get it, you used to be Kevin’s boss, just pull the pin bones and let the guy fillet his fish!

  8. Barry Heanbag says:

    Do you think Kemp and Prince will have bounce back years next season?

    Buehrle vs Minnesota?

    Is there a reason Johan isn’t DL eligible in ESPN leagues yet?

  9. Lob Ball says:

    I am desperate for RBIs down the stretch in my Roto. Do any of these transactions make sense:

    Drop Josh Hamilton Pick up Branyan ?
    Drop Morris Pick up Nady?
    Drop Desmond Pick up M. Tejada?

  10. Eddy says:

    Well, in literal terms, he hit two homers in the game. Go to YouTube and type in “double rainbow” and you’ll understand the reference.

  11. Sos says:

    Who(m) for short term saves in the STL? Or should I just ask Geiger?

  12. Jah says:

    have you heard the remix yet? ho ho ho ho WOOOOOOW!

    dude made tosh.o the other night. what a star!

    after reading Razz twice daily, i took down the points and standings prizes and am well on the way to the championship match up next week. thanks for the help, Grey!

  13. wynams says:

    H2H Points with 1 more add this week. Who do you like most?

    Carrasco @ KC
    Wolf @ SF
    Blanton WAS
    Fister TEX
    Wood @ HOU
    Francis @ LAD

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @jsp2014: Ha!

    @Black Beard: It’s looking that way.

    @d2bnz: Could be.

    @Steve: Raburn better.

    @Greg Gallagher: Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

    @Awesomus Maximus: re: Shields — That what I figured was going on with him. People drafted him, their teams were bad and they abandoned ship. Weird how he’s on so many of those teams.

    @majortommy: Yes on all three. Very disappointing season. Ilan’s the worst winner ever, but he now has a close second. I don’t like to feel like i know the winner but i do like it to seem inevitable in retrospect, if that makes sense. Kevin was getting dusted by Kenny, Kelly, Ed and Angelo. I know it’s all on one meal but you can’t make him seem less worthy previously.

    @Tuggernuts: Roger Cedeno – ha!

    @Barry Heanbag: Yup…Yup…and players don’t get DL’d always in Sept.

    @Lob Ball: Morris? I’d make the other two.

    @Eddy: He gets it.

    @Sos: McClellan is supposed to.

    @Jah: Awesome!

  15. Wah says:

    I have Franklin, Capps, and Wagner as my closers.. this is the last week of our playoffs. I’m down by 0-2 in saves. He has Perez and Lidge. With Franklin out for a few days… I’m wondering if I should drop him and pick up Kuo or Koji?

    The problem is, I’m somewhat limited on roster moves. We get 5 per week, I’ve used 2 already.. and was hoping to stream a couple pitchers for this weekend.

  16. majortommy says:

    @Grey: As I tell my brother when he bags on UCONN basketball freshman, saying they suck. People do get better. Kevin obviously took the time off to hone his chops. Maybe the fact he had Voltagio helped more than it seemed, the truth is his dessert won it for him. Ed’s dessert was something I can do and while I do have some nice chops, I am not in that category. I agree with the Ilan as worst winner, he was/is terrible and annoying. The only thing that would have been worse than him winning would have been if Marcel had won instead.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wah: Wait for SPs and hope for best with closers.

    @majortommy: True… Dessert definitely sealed the deal, but don’t they have Top Pastry Chef now? Kevin’s dessert looked like Tropical Snow from Woo Lae Oak. Great, when compared to saffron soup and dense fig bread.

  18. joecoz says:

    You like Wandy tomorrow @ home vs. the Reds, or Blanton @ home on Sunday vs. the Nats? Need to pick one between them. Thanks!

  19. emceeperiod says:

    Those the ones I like but they don’t get nathan, but pensetration, unless it smells like sansitation.

    I got the good love Jorge De La Ro.

  20. papasmurf says:

    This is the first year I’ve never had Weeks on my roster since he came up. Literally, I’ve started every season before this one with him on my roster. And of course, he manages to stay relatively healthy for the full season and has his almost 30 homer season for the first time ever.

    And who did I begin the year with? Brian Roberts. Jesus, my 2b position has been a blackhole every year as far back as I can recall.

    Where’s Hater Smurf when I need him?

  21. emceeperiod says:

    @BlackBeard – more like “Own Stubbs in Late August/September next year”.

  22. I had a 12 point lead when coming into Sept…Hamilton out, Johnson out, team going cold…and Tulo has brought 2nd place right behind me by 2 points.

    If I squander this lead I am shaving that fvcking mullet off of Tulo’s head with a rusty tomahawk.

  23. Sorry in my hatred and scalping rant I forgot to ask a question is Garcia really shut down? Either which way is he worth dropping for say an Ian Kenndey vs. Pirate Spot start?

  24. Grey

    Grey says:

    @XNadyMen: Drop him for Kennedy.

  25. Stephen

    Stephen says:

    There is nothing cool about Coon Rapids, MN. I live in the metro area and Coon Rapids only gets mentioned if there is a big storm passing through the area. Now, Cretin Durham Hall (alma matter of Joe Mauer and others) on the other hand …

  26. DrEasy says:

    – I like to pronounce “namesake” as if it were a Japanese word.

    – Bay and Morneau are likely suffering from hockey concussion envy.

  27. papasmurf says:

    @Tony: No chance. Keeper league. That’s why I’ve had trouble finding a stable at 2b all these years.

  28. Barry Heanbag says:

    Thanks, September Grey.

    Who do you like in the Dickey v Lowe matchup at Citi? Should I pick up both if I can?

  29. Grey

    Grey says:


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