Tommy Hanson is having his next start pushed back. ¬†Well, it’s not official yet according to the Braves. ¬†But they read Razzball, so we’ll just say it’s official now. ¬†Even if Hanson’s next start isn’t pushed back, it should be. ¬†On Saturday he looked like Rocky Dennis trying on a fitted ball cap. ¬†If you got nothing nice to say, say nothing. ¬†Athletes live by that adage. ¬†So when the media asked Hanson about his shoulder after the game on Saturday, he refused to talk about it. ¬†Earlier in the year, Hanson went to the DL with rotator cuff tendinitis. ¬†A’la Paul Hogan, “That’s not a red flag… THIS IS A RED FLAG!” ¬†My best guess is he’ll be on the Disgraceful List by this time tomorrow. ¬†What time am I writing this? ¬†Geez, a little in my business, no? ¬†Let’s just say it’s prior to dinner, but after my afternoon Cheetos break. ¬†Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jason Kubel – 3-for-4 with his 9th homer. ¬†He now has three homers in the last six games. ¬†When I say hot, you say schmotato… Hot… Schmotato… Hot…Schmotato… Pot…Schmo– Gotcha!
Jesus Guzman¬†– 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and a steal. ¬†Has now hit in 9 out of his last 10 games. ¬†Jesus obviously feels right at home with the Friars.
Chase Headley – Out for 6 weeks with a fractured pinkie. ¬†His Inky, Blinky and Clyde are said to be resting comfortably.
Heath Bell – 1/3 IP, 3 ER and the blown save in Metco. ¬†If you’re upset about your treatment while a Met, that’s not exactly how you prove people wrong. ¬†Cust kayin’.
Jason Bay – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in three games, and he’s also 6 for his last 11 as he spices up the Mets’ lineup with a little of the old Bay.
Mike Minor¬†– Hasn’t been all peaches and cream so far for Minor, but he could take Hanson’s place if he is indeed bumped. ¬†Hey, when a pitcher is struggling and bumped from a rotation, we should call that bumping uglies. ¬†Okay, carry on.
Alex Gonzalez¬†– 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer. ¬†He’s now hit in 9 of the last 10 games, which is a polite way of saying he’s hitting around .280 in the last ten games. ¬†Maybe Adam Dunn is the only one impressed by that.
Scott Baker – 6 IP, 5 ER. ¬†Sounds like he’s headed to the DL again. ¬†Too bad, so sad.
Jeremy Hellickson – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks. ¬†ERA now sits at 3.05 to go with a 1.14 WHIP. ¬†His Ks are a little low, but Hellickson’s having a, um, hell of a year. ¬†I could see the Rays being conservative with his innings towards the tail end of the year once they’re (un)officially eliminated.
Carlos Carrasco – To the DL for the 2nd time with right elbow inflammation. ¬†He still has a suspension to serve too, so that’s ‘bow biding.
Shin-Soo Choo – Hitless in his first rehab game. ¬†Sounds like he picked up right where he left off!
Alex Rios – 2-for-4 with a steal. ¬†Speaking of zombies, he must’ve got a talking to from his agent last week about how much money he won’t earn if he continues to lollygag because he’s 7 for his last 13. ¬†Though I wouldn’t be exactly confident in trusting him again, i.e. if you pick up Rios, you may get all wet. ¬†Spanish pun point! ¬†Or puno!
J.J. Hardy – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 20th homer. ¬†If you would’ve jumped out of DeLorean in April and told me one of my best pickups in multiple leagues would be J.J. Hardy, I would’ve called you a mental patient or said I had a bunch of teams not doing very well. ¬†The latter’s not exactly untrue, assuming I know my latter from my former.
Josh Johnson – Threw for 10 minutes yesterday. ¬†Sweet, now if he can get in one pitch every three seconds, he’s ready for big league action!
J.D. Martinez – Homered on Saturday and went deep again yesterday. ¬†And that’s about all the enthusiasm I can work up for an Astros hitter. ¬†I mean, their corner outfielders right now are J.D Martinez and J.B. Shuck. ¬†Where’s I.P. Freely?
Homer Bailey – 3 IP, 5 ER. ¬†Aren’t you glad you listened to me and didn’t pick him up? ¬†Oh, you didn’t listen. ¬†Well, I guess you’ll blame that on me too.
Jay Bruce – Homered yesterday. ¬†How does he go from 12 homers in May to next to nothing for two-plus months? ¬†Does he want to be maddeningly frustrating? ¬†Because that’s about as much fun as trying to say maddeningly.
Seth Smith – The Lisper’s Nightmare went deep twith.
Placido Polanco – Said he hopes to play through a sports hernia. ¬†That takes balls.
Bobby Jenks – Undergoing a colonoscopy. ¬†Ironically enough, Colon just got his Jenks tested. ¬†It required turning to his left and coughing.