This has less to do with Jedd Gyorko than it has to do with panicking.¬† You drafted Gyorko this year because of what he’s done in the past.¬† Yes, you’re hoping for better in the future, but you’re going on what he’s done already.¬† Fact or not fact?¬† FACT or NOT FACT?!¬† Fact.¬† You want him primarily for his power.¬† Fact or not fact?¬† FACT or NOT FACT?!¬† Fact.¬† You knew he was on a lousy team.¬†¬†Fact or not fact?¬† FACT or NOT FACT?!¬† Fact.¬† You knew he hit .249 last year.¬†¬†Fact or not fact?¬† FACT or NOT FACT?!¬† Fact.¬† Last year, he hit zero homers in 93 ABs in April.¬† It’s simply a fact!¬† Of course you want better this year, but he hasn’t done anything less than he did last year thus far, and you still drafted him.¬† If he does exactly the same as last year, but doesn’t get injured and miss a month, he will hit around 27 homers and have 75-ish runs and RBIs.¬† You’re getting that from another 2nd baseman?¬† Which one, cause I’d like to get in on that.¬† Can we double date?¬† Wanna hear something completely crazy?¬† I’m typing this with my toes.¬† Wanna hear something completely crazy related to fantasy baseball?¬† Gyorko could have a better year than Tulowitzki.¬† Tulo’s already hurt and said last year he’s no longer stealing bases.¬† So, Gyorko hits 27 homers and .250, Tulo hits 27 homers and .295.¬† A few weird bounces in BABIP and they hit the same.¬† So why are you dropping Gyorko?¬† Better yet, why are you not trading for him?¬† Don‚Äôt drop guys that just happen to have a bad one or two weeks to start the season.¬† In general, anyone that you drafted in the first ten rounds, should be untouchable in April.¬† You need to let your Clydesdales carry your beer.¬† There‚Äôs a fine line between reacting and panicking.¬† Walk the line, Johnny. ¬†Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Jim Henderson – The Muppet Master will get the job back, even if he’s not directly pulling the strings.
Luke Gregerson – I just went over him this morning.¬† You know that because you read all of my posts.¬† Right?¬† Riiiiight?¬† Mmhmm.¬† Damn, whenever I say mm, I get hungry, and I bet on the Mariners to win the World Series.¬† Why do you have such power over me, M’s?
Adam Warren – The save situation in New York until K-Rob returns will prolly be some Frankensave shituation of Shawn Kelley, David Phelps, Matt Thornton and Adam Warren — or Shamatt Phallton.¬† That rolls right off the tongue!
Jonathan Broxton – He actually is the closer until Aroldis returns, or until Broxton blows a few games.¬† Damn, picking up Broxton first was so sweet, and now I got caveats.
Jose Valverde – The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he was a terrible closer, yet he was still named the closer for the Mets.¬† Yes, Valverde is the devil, not Keyser Soze.
Jesse Chavez – Right now, he has a 1.38 ERA, which isn’t sustainable, obviously.¬† However, his xFIP is only 2.60, his K-rate is 9 and his BB/9 is 1.38.¬† Okay, those numbers are worth owning in any league.¬† If they were completely out of nowhere, they’d be worth owning now, while expecting major regression.¬† In Triple-A, he had a 8+ K-rate and an under 2 walk rate.¬† An under 2 walk rate is Cliff Lee territory.¬† An under two walk rate is ownable in all mixed leagues with a 7 K-rate.¬† With an 8 K-rate, you’re talking about a guy who could be a top 40 starter.¬† With a 9 K-rate?¬† Well, he’d be an ace.¬† Due to the scant track record and me not knowing what scant means, I’m not willing to guarantee much, but I would own him.
Garrett Richards – Member how excited I was about Eovaldi because his fastball was so, well, fast?¬† Richards has averaged a 95.9 MPH fastball through two starts.¬† Eovaldi is on another plane than Richards, because Richards walks the house.¬† Not to Tootie my own horn, but I did grab Mr. Garrett in one deeper mixed league.¬† Hopefully it wasn’t a blairing mistake.
Josh Collmenter – Will take over a rotation spot in Arizona as long as he’s not found out to be gay or Mexican, then he will be deported.
Alberto Callaspo – He’s hitting out of his mind right now like he’s Margot Kidder at a Bed and Breakfast that just ran out of orange juice.
Adam LaRoche – Double negatives be damned, but LaRoche shouldn’t not be owned in any leagues if he’s healthy.¬† If he’s healthy and hitting, LaRoche is the greatest thing since sliced bread.¬† Though, isn’t slicing a bagel harder than bread and thus greater?¬† Shouldn’t this be updated to the greatest thing since a sliced bagel?¬† I got questions, y’all!
Mark Reynolds – He has two homers and two steals so far, but you will have to platoon him since he’s sitting vs. most righties.¬† You can see his upcoming matchups at the Hitter-Tron, you can also see the Hitter-Tron rubbing itself against a washing machine.
Trevor Plouffe – Plouffe goes the hot schmotato!
Dee Gordon – I don’t even know why he’s being listed.¬† Not that I wouldn’t own him, I mean why isn’t he owned in every league?¬† Are you people auditioning for a role in the off-Broadway adaption of Awakenings?
Chris Owings – Another one I don’t fully understand, but this is the last time I’m mentioning him.¬† I got places to go!¬† Like the comments to answer catcher questions.
Devin Mesoraco – I could mention other catchers to pick up, but then I’d just be feeding the beast.
Yangervis Solarte – Fun fact!¬† Yangervis was once stopped at customs for three hours because the Customs Officer thought he forged his visa and misspelled it Yangervis.¬† He’s not a long term option; he’s just a hot bat right now, but compared to, i.e., Yangervis-√†-vis a cold bat, it’s good.
Mike Morse – I feel similar to Morse as I do to LaRoche.¬† He kinda should just be owned if he’s healthy.¬† This message was brought to you by Grey in an attempt to jinx and injury Morse and LaRoche since I don’t own them.
Jason Kubel – He’s hitting .481.¬† Ty Cobb never hit .481!¬† Kubel has the highest average ever in baseball!¬† He should be in the Hall of Fame!¬† Do you hear how dopey I sound?¬† That’s what people sound like who are worried someone is hitting in the .100’s after one week.¬† It’s a small sample size.¬† Any the hoo!¬† Kubel is hot, so there’s that.
Ryan Ludwick – Okay, so his fan club isn‚Äôt well attended, and his name sounds like a 17th century composer, but he’s hitting and healthy.
Marcell Ozuna – He looks solid in every at-bat I’ve seen of his (7 at-bats, that’s what I’ve seen).¬† I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but I think Ozuna could be one of those guys that isn’t owned in many leagues for the first few months but ends up a top 40 outfielder and– Sorry running out of my Marcell minutes.
Lorenzo Cain – I’ve already picked him up and dropped him twice and will probably do that dance again a few more times.¬† I’m addicted to Cain…Sugar!
J.B. Shuck – Since his initials stand for Just Brad, you’d think his folks would’ve went with just Brad.¬† Oh, wait, they did.¬† The nurse filling out his birth certificate must feel silly!¬† Love Shuck in AL-Only leagues — so much so I went to $19 on him with FAAB dollars, which is fun to try and use in West Hollywood, “Hey, do you take FAAB dollars?”¬† “You know it, girlfriend!” — and wouldn’t be surprised to see Shuck mixed league viable within a week.
Ryan Zimmerman – Ah, it’s my old nemesis, Bummerman.¬† He’s Lex Luthor to my Superman.¬† He’s the Joker to my Batman.¬† He’s Mr. Glass to my character played by Bruce Willis in Unbreakable.¬† I am the superhero in this scenario, because I have two working shoulders and didn’t trick fantasy owners into drafting me!¬† As if his shoulder just suddenly became an issue.¬† My pfft to that has two F’s, which is more F’s than I give about Zimmerman.¬† He had to know in the spring that there was no way his shoulder was holding up all year.¬† You couldn’t give the media a heads up?¬† No, of course, you couldn’t.¬† Instead he says he can play through a shoulder injury that makes him throw like he’s a drunk Chuck Knoblauch.¬† Now he says he can hit with this shoulder injury.¬† I’m sure it won’t affect his power at all.¬† Watch him get less than 15 homers this year.¬† For serious.¬† You’re probably looking at getting fifty cents on the dollar, but I’d absolutely explore trades.