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Long delay in updating. What can I say other than I got shits to do. Don't make me add you to the list of loose ends. Despite my slacking the stats and categories are current through last Sunday. I know, apparently I'm not too busy to snag the images but I'm too busy to write it up. Bite me, it takes a while to work this hard at not being funny. I want to see you try.

My mom? Good one.

Only one trade to report. Carlos Pena and Buchholz (Taylor, from Colorado, the one that hasn't sucked lately) from IowaCubs' last place Rod Beck's Disgrace were lucky enough to move onto the Huckleberries in exchange for Chris Davis and Jim Edmonds. I still think Chet stole this deal, but I guess when you are in last you have to make moves. Pena and Buchholz would be happy moving from 16th to 13th - except they don't actually know because this is pretend-baseball. That's why its called Fantasy Baseball (protip: the actual players don't give a squat about your fantasy team; try offering them a multi-million dollar performance bonus and they might take it but don't tell the feds (How long before this actually happens? Just imagine if Pete Rose were managing today. He would go down for giving his players incentives to pad his fantasy stats.) Look! This parenthetical is hugging the little parenthesis!). I hope this trade doesn't end up being "driving headfirst into a brick wall" instead of "zigging when everybody else is zagging". All I'm saying is I would have offered you some no-talent schlubs for Pena if I knew it would have worked. Seriously, I'm hurting in homeruns. Check the stats if you think I'm lying - then go Eff yourself for doubting my veracity. I've never steered you wrong before, why would I start now? Jerks, the whole lot of you.

We have what one RCLer has termed "the first blockbuster trade" of the season to report next week. I can't spoil it now because I want you to come back for more. Besides, I started off with a threat to keep it brief and you got me rambling on over here. I'm like your drunk relative during the holidays only his stories involve combat wounds and Saigon hookers.

Legend:
I'm Your Huckleberry - Chet/Doc
Cruisin' KCs - CruisinKc
Dogs of Summer - BSA
Rustic Trumpets - Hank/downpat75
The Schmohawks - Bob
Cocky's Ballas - CockyPhoenix
Chicago's Dick Harden - EndlessSummer
Indifferent Fielders - BaronVonVulturewins
Sandlot's Finest - Chase
No Glove No Love. - Off-White
RodBeck's BeerFarts - IowaCubs
Dr. Seuss - BigFatHippo
Salty F. Biscuits - SaltyBiscuits
She Said...Fukudome - BJ
The Job Squad - KarlJ
Bacon Bits - p0rk burn

Nice foreshadowing there Pork, keep em hanging.

BLOCKBUSTER

Coming to a Razzball Forum near you.

Good post, carry on with the studying, don't let us distract you.

Good luck man.

Carlos Pena and Buchholz (Taylor, from Colorado, the one that hasn't sucked lately) from IowaCubs' last place Rod Beck's Disgrace were lucky enough to move onto the Huckleberries in exchange for Chris Davis and Jim Edmonds

Edmonds? You weren't able to get Ronny Cedeno? Who is Edmonds replacing, Wily Mo Pena?

Somebody tell IowaCubs the object of the Razzball Commenter's League is not to come in last.

Carlos Pena and Buchholz (Taylor, from Colorado, the one that hasn't sucked lately) from IowaCubs' last place Rod Beck's Disgrace were lucky enough to move onto the Huckleberries in exchange for Chris Davis and Jim Edmonds

Edmonds? You weren't able to get Ronny Cedeno? Who is Edmonds replacing, Wily Mo Pena?

Somebody tell IowaCubs the object of the Razzball Commenter's League is not to come in last.

Edmonds?

BTW, thanks, P0rk and good luck on the bar this... Friday?

Carlos Pena and Buchholz (Taylor, from Colorado, the one that hasn't sucked lately) from IowaCubs' last place Rod Beck's Disgrace were lucky enough to move onto the Huckleberries in exchange for Chris Davis and Jim Edmonds

Edmonds? You weren't able to get Ronny Cedeno? Who is Edmonds replacing, Wily Mo Pena?

Somebody tell IowaCubs the object of the Razzball Commenter's League is not to come in last.

Who had the better week?

Pena ... 3r/1hr/3rbi .150 ba/.580 ops
Buchholz ... 3.0ip/5k/0.00era/1.00whip

Edmonds: ... 1r/1hr/2rbi .333 ba/.968 ops
Davis: ... 4r/2hr/3rbi .333 ba/1.000 ops

I'm sticking to my post-trade prediction that Davis/Edmonds end up with 12 more hr than Pena.

The Bar is this Tuesday and Wednesday. At this point everybody just wants to take the damn thing because you either know it or you don't but we still have to study up to the test. You don't want to be the guy saying "Yeah I basically sat around and watched TV for the last week before the biggest test of my life", especially if you come up a few questions short. Its only out of a sense of obligation that I'm still carrying myself to the library for ten hours at a time. I'm a stand up guy like that.

@Iowa: Obviously photoshopped! Everybody knows they don't let Cubs fans out of the midwest. It would have been just as believable if he was standing on the moon.

The Bar is this Tuesday and Wednesday. At this point everybody just wants to take the damn thing because you either know it or you don't but we still have to study up to the test. You don't want to be the guy saying "Yeah I basically sat around and watched TV for the last week before the biggest test of my life", especially if you come up a few questions short. Its only out of a sense of obligation that I'm still carrying myself to the library for ten hours at a time. I'm a stand up guy like that.

@Iowa: Obviously photoshopped! Everybody knows they don't let Cubs fans out of the midwest. It would have been just as believable if he was standing on the moon.

I feel you on the bar... One of my best friends takes it next week, too, and he's freaking out. Best of luck. I audited a real estate law class a few years ago at Drake University that my dad teaches. If you need some advice on Iowa Case law on title opinions or eminent domain, I could probably help.

Oh, and is this the Cedeno you speak of? In Cubs dork circles we call him "Onedec" or his name spelled backwards... This is OBI-Onedec, and yes, I'm slightly ashamed that I have this photo:

I audited a real estate law class a few years ago at Drake University that my dad teaches.

Tell me your Dad flunked you.

I audited a real estate law class a few years ago at Drake University that my dad teaches.

Tell me your Dad flunked you.

There's at least one reason I'm not a lawyer.

Me too!