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I’m going to be completely honest with you……. bear with me I’ve spent the past 8 years in sales this isn’t something I’m used to. I loathe John Lackey. I hate his voice, I hate his face, I hate the way his mouth is always open as if it was some 24 hour 7-11, but most of all I hated the way he was overvalued in fantasy and reality during his time with the Angels.  After posting a 6.47 ERA in 2011 I figured the man I mockingly call The Muppet was done, off to the land of Dontrelle Willis. Then after sitting out 2012 for the now mandatory Tommy John surgery he came back a different player. Keeping hitters off balance with great sequencing, Lackey was one of the big surprises for the World Champions last season. Thus far this season it’s been more of the same (if not better). He enters tonight’s game against the Tigers with a 5-2 record, a 3.57 era, and an 8.83 k rate, the highest of his career. In fact, outside of two rough outings back to back against the Yankees and the Orioles back in mid-April, he’s provided a quality start each time he’s taken the mound for the Sawx. The only thing that could derail his season is inappropriate text messages from a member of the media. Well that and Ian Kinsler and the Tigers. Over the years, several members of the Tigers (some of which will be covered later on!) have owned Lackey but none quite like Kinsler. In 39 PA’s Kinsler has a 1.345 OPS with 4 hr’s, 9 steaks, and a couple of steals. That sample size ain’t small folks (that’s what she said) and that OPS is huge! (that’s what Bill James said…?) Kinsler is a must own at 2b in all lineups over at DraftKings. With a cost of $4,900 he’s not cheap but I think based on his history he’s well worth the premium price.

B-T-Dubs guys (and 4… maybe 5 girl readers) if you haven’t played daily fantasy over at Draftkings you should. In fact just for signing up you’ll get a free entry into a contest….so click here and do it now…….I’m waiting….are you going to click? I don’t have all day folks, I got poopy diapers to change and 10 minute bathroom trips to check my fantasy teams to make…..Perfect, now let’s move on.

Dubba B-T-Dubs if you don’t trust me, the genius Rudy Gamble has put together another amazing tool in the DFSBot to aid you in finding value in your Daily Fantasy persuits.

Homer Bailey, P: $8,500 – Bailey started the season out with three rough starts putting fantasy owners that invested in him heavily into a panic. Since then Bailey has begun to right the ship, posting 3 good starts against quality offenses in Milwaukee, Boston, and the fearsome Rockies. Homer gets his strikeouts and has a decent matchup against the Phillies who haven’t been much of anything thus far.

Jordan Lyles, P: $8,800 – To be honest, I’m not a huge Lyles fan. Is anyone? Thus far this season Lyles has been lucky, but even still his xFIP is 3.55. Is regression coming? Sure, but I doubt it’s against the Padres. As Sky alluded to yesterday San Diego’s wOBA is the worst in baseball. If you think I’m Amanda Bynes crazy for suggesting a Rockies pitcher (the SON does) then check out Cole Hamels! The SON loves him. I also think Tim Lincecum is a good play but I just don’t trust him at $10,200.

Hank Conger, C: $3,900 – As Grey mentioned earlier this week The Sciosciapath has been giving Conger the Mike Napoli treatment. I’m not sure if Conger’s mom is flashing nip or what, but my guess is Rhode Island’s own Chris Iannetta has been feeding The Sciosciapath a steady diet of St. Joseph Zeppoles from one of Providence’s many fine Italian bakeries. On the really though if Conger plays I think he hits. Cesar Ramos isn’t great. Problem is Iannetta gets most of the AB’s against lefties. This is fine he’s $100 bucks cheaper and if you’re keeping up with rosters before game time by checking here you’ll be made in the shade. Unless you live in a place without shade then you’re probably just sunburned or tan……how I envy you!

Victor Martinez – 1B: $4,700 – The Zombino of the moment has been raking this season and as my title mentions he’s part of my Lackey Stacky tonight. V-Mart has killed The Muppet in the past hitting .407/.484/.928. Play on Playas.

Juan Francisco – 3B: $4,400 – This years lucky recipient of  the Blue Jays Extreme Power Hitting NL Prospect Makeover has been getting his Encarnacion/Bautista on ranking in the top 20 in the past two weeks with an 11/4/12/.310/1.078 slash line.

J.J. Hardy – SS: $3,500 – There’s no reason for this pick other than I think he’s due and Danny Duffy seems like a generous guy.

Brandon Barnes – OF: $3,200 – The Hitter-Tron loves Barnes today like he loves one of those noisey exhaust tips you used to put on your Ford Probe to make it sound like a Fast and the Furious car. Then again, what’s not to love. He’s cheap and he gets a HodgePadre in Coors.

Collin Cowgill – OF: $3,500 – He’s hitting .350 the last couple weeks and hitting leadoff here and there. Plus he has a .935 OPS against lefties. I could see people doing well for themselves with some Angels stacks today.

Torii Hunter – OF: $4,100 – Another Zombino from the Tigers, his career average and OBP against Lackey isn’t in the Kinsler/V-Mart zip code but he’s got a couple of dongs off him (hehe) and I could see him doing some damage.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Looking at the reports there are only three games (Col vs. SD 40%, Mil vs CHC 20%, and Oakland vs. Cleveland 30%) with any chance for rain. None of them are above a 40% chance so there shouldn’t be much to worry about. Unless you’re Shirley Manson and your happiness depends on it.

Doing Lines In Vegas

San Diego vs. Colorado – 10, I like the over I just have a feeling the Rockies are going to do what they do, hit and score runs.

Baltimore vs. Kansas City – 7.5 I like the over, it’s Danny Duffy vs. Bud Norris, even the Royals might hit in this game. Okay maybe I’m insane….

Chicago vs. Houston – 9 Under, I mean maybe the White Sox score 10 runs but with a number this high and the Astros involved I’ll take the under.