Well, first off, there’s more teeth in baseball.  Also, less consonants.  In fantasy hockey, it seems like everyone’s name is Marc Rzepczynski.  Hockey also makes for better video games.  Or at least it did the last time I played video games — 1994 EA NHL on Sega Genesis.  That’s pretty much all I know of hockey.  In fantasy hockey, is “one-timers” a category?  Does Wayne Gretzky still bleed if you check him really hard?  Are Alexander Mogilny and Pavel Bure still ridiculously fast?  I’m used to a lot of foreign players in baseball but usually from places with good food.   You could count the number of good dishes in Russian, Canadian, Czech, Slovakian, and Scandanavian cuisine with the fingers on one of Joey Kocur’s mangled hands (Rudy gets the assist on that joke).  Blech.  If I wrote about fantasy hockey, I’d have to brush off some Eastern European jokes and might end up sounding like Yakov Smirnoff.  For all I know, Yakov Smirnoff is a name of a hockey player.  In Soviet Russia, fantasy hockey plays you!  But, you know what?  It doesn’t matter what I know of hockey, because I’m not writing about it, but someone else is over at our sister Razzball site — It’s fantasy hockey, ya’ll!

That’s right, just when you thought Razzball couldn’t get any more awesome (if you consider this awesome — if you’re indifferent, then just ignore this post.).  Wanna know how great/awful that player is with the last name you can’t pronounce?  Wanna see some fantasy hockey rankings?  Wanna enjoy the incongruity of using the name Razzball for a sport that, like a eunuch, is ball-less?  Wanna just read about hockey even though you have no interest in it whatsoever?  That’s the spirit!  I’m sure all you’ve grown to love about fantasy baseball here will be rolled up into a big ball of ice and quadrupled over at Razzball Hockey.  So go there now, and tell ’em Grey sent ya!

  1. timSTi says:

    About friggin time!

  2. peter says:

    …and here I was thinking that fantasy hockey was that table next to the foosball.

  3. peter says:

    @peter: Also, congrats on the expansion of the Razzball empire. Bringing the likes of Bob and Doug McKenzie to the message boards is a big win.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:

    @timSTi: Glad you likey.

    @peter: Thanks! Yeah, could be that table over there. Not sure.

  5. ChiSox says:

    Sorry Grey, a previous post you said to start Bumgarner and Hudson in a points league. I didn’t specify which Hudson, it’s Daniel not Tim. does that change your answer? thanks a bunch

    Bumgarner (Houston- Henry Sosa)
    Haren (@Texas – Holland)
    Beachy (@CHC – Garza)
    D. Hudson (@Was – L. Hernandez)
    Hellickson (Det – Fister)

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @ChiSox: Doesn’t change my answer. It’s Bum and then a toss up. Could see going Beachy or Hell, in that order.

  7. peter says:

    Somewhat related to my comment/question in the previous post. Are you down on Kuroda ROS? I’m thinking about offering Goldschmidt for him; already rostering Reynolds and Howard and I’m getting too much of a BAd thing.

  8. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Raise your hand if, at the start of the season, you expected to read “might be time to discard” in a non-injury related Ubaldo blurb at some point. That’s what I thought… looks like a tetraplegia convention out there.

    Schwimmer was surprisingly solid in Band of Brothers. That doesn’t mean I’m clearing him to do feature films… just giving the man credit where he deserves it.

  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    @peter: I’m just not selling my future farm for an arm like Kuroda for a little over a month. I do like him though.

    @Awesomus Maximus: re: Ubaldo — Ha! Yeah, seriously. re: Band of Brothers — I didn’t like it.

  10. Howard says:

    @Grey Great news on the hockey front! I always missed having a place to go and read during the hockey season.

  11. Larry says:

    10 team roto ROS

    Howie or Lawrie?

    Borjous or Tabata?

    Also is Niemann a solid start today?

    Thx for you help!

  12. Larry says:

    10 team roto ROS

    Howie or Lawrie?

    Bourjous or Tabata?

    Also start Neimann today vs. Tigers?

  13. peter says:

    @Grey: Great – thanks!

  14. Long Bawls says:

    I look forward to RazzCurl in 2014!

  15. Fortunate to be comfortably cruising into next weeks H2H playoffs (grown to dislike format as well). However, Ibanez has been scratched from tonight’s lineup due to groin soreness (ouch). Eyeing the next four weeks, with limited moves, and the degree of groin discomfort yet to be determined, might you swap him for any of S. Smith (away a lot), Thames, Tabata, Belt, or Venable? Thanks! & nice Zombie Day reference this AM. Didn’t know anyone else celebrated.

  16. Long Bawls says:

    @Long Bawls: (p.s.: not the hair product, which we obviously already all use)

  17. MrHappyTime says:

    Bourjos, Tabata, or Constanza for the rest of the year?

  18. Eddy says:

    Congrats on the expansion, fellas!

  19. Finally! Even though Larry is asking you about baseball and may have totally ignored the original post, I am super excited to have a fantasy hockey section of Razzball!

    And it seems to already be getting more comments than the basketball section.

  20. Hi Grey — A deep league question about whether or not to start Mike Minor tomorrow @ CHC. Which of the following two ways should I look at it?

    1. As the pitcher who is 3-0 with a sub-3 ERA and 28 Ks in 24 innings over his last four starts.


    2. As the pitcher who has a 4.98 ERA and 1.62 WHIP on the road and a nearly-as-ugly 4.63 ERA and 1.54 WHIP against the Cubbies.

    In other words, is he a guy who’s started to figure it out over the last few games? Or a good pitcher at home who is now headed to a hitters’ park against a team that’s hit well against him in the past?

  21. LAzyboy says:

    When will Razzball have an iPad app? I am sick of my iPad always crashing when I load Razzball on Safari.

  22. chata says:

    thought rickles was the king of hockey one-liners .

    hokey puke ?

  23. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey:10 team 8×8….Lowrie,Scutarro,Izturis or A. Gonzalez?

  24. vinko says:

    Congrats on the new addition to the Razz family!
    Would you drop Krispie for Blanks, Wells, or JD Martinez? 12 team no bench.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Howard: Great!

    @Larry: Lawrie….Bourjos…I’d start Niemann.

    @peter: No problem.

    @LongBawls: Ha!

    @Zombie: Thames…Oh, yeah.

    @MrHappyTime: Bourjos

    @Eddy: Thanks!

    @ChrisV82: Awesome!

    @Enrique: 1

    @LAzyboy: Ugh, I know. I’m working on it. Trying to get a site that doesn’t crash.

    @chata: Hehe

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Gonzalez

    @vinko: Thanks! Nope…

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    ***BTW, the @ reply thing is down right now, site’s a little FUBAR, sorry about that. It’s getting worked on.

  27. bobbo says:

    @Grey: Trust Jurrjens with the start tonight? How about Dempster for that matter. I have them both rostered…

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @bobbo: Yeah, I’d start him.

  29. AL KOHOLIC says:


  30. AL KOHOLIC says:

    nice to see you expanding,im not much into hockey unless its at a live game,i did play roller hockey for 3 years,i was the guy they sent in to make wayne,s bleed,and drinking was allowed the 1st 2 years,hehe

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Ha! Yeah, not into it at all, but it looks like others are. Surprised it seems more popular than basketball.

  32. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    another HR for Mayberry Jr….Grey,do you have any interest in this guy in standard mixed leagues?It seems like Manuel likes him and he’s at least got a platoon situation going w/ Ibanez.I forgot he was actually a 1st rd pick,and he’s only 27.

  33. AL KOHOLIC says:

    grey,i really tried following it in st. louis for a few years,then they really did a make over and all those funky names i couldnt pronounce so i gave up,but it really is cool in person,

  34. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: For a bench bat for power, sure. But if Manuel insists on starting Ibanez when he’s healthy it’s hard to get too excited.

    @AL KOHOLIC: Yeah, I will say it’s fun in person, and when they had that crazy light up puck on TV.

  35. Howard says:

    @Grey A few lineup decisions to make heading into the playoffs: Mini-Donkey or Paredes…Delmon or Krispy…Trumbo or Berkman? Thanks!

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Howard: Donkey….Delmon…Berkman…

  37. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    fantasy hockey?….why,thats just crazy talk.Whats next,fantasy auto racing?oh wait….

    Ive always watched most Flyers games,but could never get into other random games throughout the season.I cant see myself ever watching a Predators/Hurricanes game on a tuesday night.

    Of course,I have no problem watching a Mariners/Twins game….

  38. Art Vandelay says:

    Can I please drop C-Bills now (10-team league)? I basically never feel like starting him anymore except for against shitty teams. Would probably drop him for Blanks.

  39. Jordan73 says:

    Great news about the Hockey addition! Too bad I live in Louisiana and can’t drum up interest in a fantasy hockey league among my friends. Regardless, I can now look forward to Razzball-y coverage of my favorite sport!

  40. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: I hear ya.

    @Art Vandelay: If you need Blanks, then go for it.

    @Jordan73: Cool, glad you’re excited.

  41. Lines says:

    I played my first season of fantasy hockey last year, and did okay (finished 3rd). I was on the fence about playing again, ’cause it took a bunch of time, energy, and watching hockey. Now that I know I’ll win this next season (did you hear? There’s a Razzball hockey site now!), I’ve decided I’ll play again.

    I thank you all for your noble and selfless service to the community.

    Lastly, I hate Mike Napoli, and OHHOLYCRAP Ben Revere just made a catch and a half!

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Lines: Glad to be of service. Revere’s catch was insane.

  43. yankees2011 says:

    Hello Grey.

    Since my season is basically over, I look to next year with a Keeper question for you. 12 Team H2H with 2 Keepers and their Round maxing out at 12 (11 and 12 if you keep two players beyond the 12th round). Here is my potential list of which I am pretty excited about:

    Michael Morse
    Desmond Jennings
    Ian Kennedy
    Brandon Beachy
    Stephen Strasburg

    They would all be 12th rounders. I am leaning towards Jennings and Strasburg, but I wanted to know what you thought.

    Thanks much Grey.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Eddy: So crazy. I just watched it 3 more times.

    @yankees2011: I agree with your two. Nice keepers.

  45. exno says:


    NHL 1994 on Genesis is fucking amazing.

  46. Steve in NYC says:

    Kewl! I’m Canadian, so I have hockey in my blood. It’s funny, because I never really played or followed the sport, but I just somehow know all the rules, the history and “the code”.

    Just wondering… a hockey fantasy league in Canada has penalty minutes as a positive stat. What about in the US?

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