A cavalcade of stars trampling through your computer like a Colt 45 commercial. Not really, but if they all didâ€¦ awesome. I would be the first person — make that the second — to die from high fiving. The first, if you must know — was that kid who slept with the hot teacher in high school. The prospects are slowly oozing into fantasy and the waiver wire in some leagues becomes important. So pay attention, and send the checks to me, but seriously I have Paypal as well. Here are the week 19 middle of the road, maybe available, two start pitchers for week 19 of fantasy baseball.
Vin Mazzaro (@ Sea vs. Fister) (@Min vs. Baker)
The pride of â€śDirty Jerz.â€ť Minus one start in last 10 has been fist pumping good. Averages 5 Kâ€™s a game, with a 3.50 ERA over last 10. Gets Fister (I barely knew her) and the butcher and candlestick makerâ€™s illegitimate child.
Justin Masterson (Bal vs Arrieta) (Sea vs. Fister)
A Smokey fave. I am still president of the Just Masters Fan club with 3 blind kids and my dog as the only other members. Cause none of them can actually watch him pitch. Good roll of dice based on matchups.
Kyle Kendrick (Lad vs. Padilla) (@NyM vs. Pelfrey)
4 ER over last 19 innings, huh. I never would have guessed it. Gets the anemic Dodger bats and the Mess, I like it for a dollar. Could do worseâ€¦ and by worse I mean Jeff Karstens.
Bud Norris (Atl vs. Minor) (Pit vs. Karstens)
Uncle Chuck — I shouldnâ€™t have given you my cell number. When he threatens, I have to write about Bud. Better to drink than to pitch but you canâ€™t really play baseball with a canâ€¦ Or can you? Sneaky Kâ€™s and Jeff Karstens, start a tab.
Ian Kennedy (@ Mil vs. Narveson) (@ Was vs. Olsen)
The innings monster has come out of the closet and stole his footed pajamas. Decent matchups but he still plays for the D-Backs. Maybe an avoid for the next 2-3 starts until he gets those pajamas back.
Carlos Zambrano (@ SF vs. Bumgarner) (@ Stl vs. Suppan)
Yeah, it was a typo and I ran with it. I wouldnâ€™t start him, but in deep leagues somebody has to gamble. Suppan is horrible. Personally, I think I can do worse for less than 12 million. Oh, C-Zam makes 18… Snikeys.
Wade LeBlanc (Pit vs. Karstens) (@ SF vs. Lincecum)
Again, Iâ€™m picking on Jeff — sorry, dude. Timmy hasnâ€™t been Timm-AY, since the Loch Ness Monster asked me for three fiddy. Use his first start and play the â€śif I need Kâ€™s gameâ€ť on Domingo.
Freddy Garcia (Min vs. Baker) (Det vs. Galarraga)
Yeah, I put him in last weekâ€™s article by mistake. I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Gets â€śNot quiteâ€ť Curt Henning, and the â€śillâ€ť kid. The pale hose are scorching. Best team in baseball since June, thatâ€™s a fact, go look it upâ€¦â€¦I told you, doubter.
Brian Matusz (ChW vs. Jackson) (@ TB vs. Niemann)
Buck shows up and the Oâ€™s remembered how to play ball. Has been downright horrible all year. Still has no reason to pitch, but they play 162 and they were given the same money that Reggie Bush took at USC.