Last summer, something felt wrong for Edinson Volquez.¬† He said it was his arm.¬† Dusty gave him two after-dinner mints and said they were “reconstructive surgery,” then threw him for 160 pitches.¬† Unfortunately, the mints didn’t take.¬† Dusty blamed Edinson’s inability to believe.¬† Neverthehoo!¬† (I’m trying to get neverthehoo to stick, go with it.)¬† Edinson went for Tommy John surgery, or as they call it in the Tommy John household, “my surgery.”¬† Usual recovery time is longer than his current 11 month timetable, but all signs point to him returning in the next few weeks. ¬† I’d grab him in every league.¬† Yes, even yours.¬† His sell value is already starting to climb.¬† If he returns with a gem, his value will go through the roof.¬† So even if you don’t need a starter, someone in your league will.¬† Coming back, I expect Volquez will give a great K-rate and not a terrific WHIP.¬† Think 75 innings, 4.00 ERA, 1.32 WHIP and 85 Ks.¬† My name is Edinson Volquez and I approve of this message.¬† Hey, Dusty, can I have another mint? No!¬† Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Erik Bedard – Bedard’s history of injury is so well-documented that even if he returns and throws aces, he can still drop an injury deuce at any moment.
Jorge de la Rosa – dlR, Edinson, Bedard, Beckett… In that order I’d pick them up.¬† Not to repeat, but to explain.¬† Beckett’s in the AL East and can’t get his shizz together, saying he might not be back until the end of July.¬† Bedard’s terrific when healthy.¬† That ‘when’ needs to be airlifted out of bed.¬† Edinson’s progressing well, but this was serious surgery.¬† dlR’s progressing well from a less serious injury.¬† However, I do think Edinson and dlR are pretty much a toss-up.¬† Volquez will have more trade value if good news continues to come out.¬† Any questions?¬† What about Jar-Jar? Why I oughta!
Tommy Hunter – This is Tommy Hunter after he learned you wanted to pick him up.¬† Or is that Billy Butler?¬† It’s hard for me to recommend him highly because I wouldn’t pick him up outside of H2H or AL-Only leagues, but he’s pitching well and he gets the Astros next.¬† Yes, please.
Gavin Floyd – It took two stank months, but this is the Floyd I pictured when I targeted him in drafts.¬† In his last four starts, 29 innings, 3 earned runs.¬† Float on, Gavin!
Sam Demel – Heilman is the first pickup, Qualls is the second pickup and the Diamondbacks are a cellar-dwelling team.¬† So deep SAGNOF, but SAGNOF neverthehoo!
Jarret Hoffpauir – Doesn’t he sound like a total douche?¬† When you and your girl were on a break, who did she sleep with? Jarret Hoffpauir!¬† That douche!¬† He dotted her eyes!¬† Hoffpauir’s playing every day (for now) and has 2nd base eligibility in ESPN and about to get 3rd base in Yahoo.¬† Hoffpauir’s a pretty stale prospect, having festered in the minors for a bit too long, but he has solid plate discipline (9 homers and only 15 Ks in 259 ABs at Triple-A).¬† Because of his eligibility, I’d take a chance on him in deep leagues.
Dayan Vicedo – Until Ozzie tweets Vicedo into his everyday lineup, I’m not as excited about him.¬† In deep enough leagues, you do what you do.
Chris Johnson – To run through these guys like I did with the injured starters; I’d grab them Hoffpauir, Vicedo and Johnson, in that order.¬† Hoffpauir’s playing for the 1927 Blue Jays and playing every day, according to Gaston.¬† Viciedo is not playing every day, but has decent upside.¬† Chris Johnson plays for the Astros.¬† Belch.
Justin Smoak – I sorta gave up on Smoak’s BABIP ever turning itself around… Actually, at first base, I couldn’t afford to wait in a league or two, but it seems like he did finally turn it around.
Gaby Sanchez – He’s having a much better season than Lance Berkman.¬† Yo Gaby Gaby!
Tyler Colvin – Mentioned him in last week’s Buy/Sell.¬† And here he is again.¬† You’d think Steve Stone were writing these.
David DeJesus – DeJesus could be the definition of yawnstipating if Polanco didn’t own that distinction.¬† You, son, are too yawnstipating to even be the definition of yawnstipating!¬† Day-um! BTW, A man in Wichita, Kansas asked for Selig to visit his hometown and confirm the likeness of DeJesus on a piece of toast.
A.J. Burnett – He got a red card and was benched indefinitely in the league where I have him (look at me forcing in soccer and not making any sense!), but I’m in a deep league.¬† Most of youse can flat-out drop him.¬† Sure, his xFIP is a full run lower than his ERA, but it’s still hovering around 5 and his Ks are way too far down.¬† I’d let Burnett wiggle his nose on someone else’s team.
Buster Posey – Well, you had about a week to sell him for value like I suggested.¬† Now I don’t think you get anything for him in one year leagues.¬† Nine out of ten fantasy baseball ‘perts agree, rookie value is less than their hype.
Billy Butler – Garrett Jones has been better than Butler, according to the ESPN Player Rater.¬† So has Swisher, Glaus, Loney, Huff, Prado and Konerko.¬† I hate to be a, uh, hater, but Mr. Grapefruit is way overvalued.¬† For some reason, people are indifferent with the Royals as a whole, but love their prospects.¬† You know what Butler is?¬† A good average, 20 homer hitter.¬† Loney looks at that and says, “Yeah, so?”¬† You look at Butler and you think well-rounded, but for fantasy he is not.¬† He gets few Runs and RBIs due to his team and he has Warning Track Fly power.¬† Otherwise known as WTF!¬† (Disregard the preceding if you play in a league with a Moob category.)