Just finished my first draft if you’re reading this as I type it, and other than one shirtless man in yellow sweatpants standing behind me in this internet cafe, I don’t think anyone’s reading this as I type it.  Unless, of course, there’s micronauts living inside my brain watching as my inner monologue is sending info to my fingers.  Gadzooks, I got micronauts in my brain!  I wonder if these micronauts made me draft Eric Thames.  I need to delve deeper into this subject.  Maybe I will in my pastel journal that is covered in Giancarlo’s picture from ESPN’s nude magazine.  So, I took on the monsters of the industry in an NL Only league that was hosted by Scott White of CBS and I came away with a team that is more imbalanced than Amanda Bynes.  This league is deep so hold onto ye old hat.  (If you want a shallower league, play against me and hundreds of your closest buddies in the Razzball Commenter Leagues.  Please be a commissioner, we need leagues, thank you, and Oxford comma.)  Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and some thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Boy does it feel good to be back!  I can’t wait to be half as productive at work and start losing countless hours of sleep staying up to watch the finish of the [email protected] game  just in case there is a closer injury.  Football was a fine diversion, but I always feel a little empty without baseball.  I’m happy to be back for another season as your Razzball Commenter League (RCL) tour guide.  I love these things.  Really, they play to my strengths and offer ample opportunity to test strategy and ideas.  I love the constant ability to go for every last hit, RBI, SB.  Weekly lineups/moves have their place, I just don’t find them as fun.  The format, the League Competitive Index competition, battling hundreds of other managers for the top of the overall standings and of course, the non stop action make this a unique and fun challenge.  It’s kind of like pounding a pot of coffee every hour, on the hour for six straight months.  I’m also a huge nerd for all the numbers and data that gets collected from running so many leagues under the Razzball umbrella.  I will do my part to share some of these numbers with you along the way and try to glean some info from all that data.  VinWins was my hero back when he ran the RCL Updates, so I’ll do my best to be his protege.  In order to make the data pool even larger though, we need you, and you, and you too.  You see, what makes RCLs great is all of you.  Man that sounds mushy, but it’s true.  In an ideal world, every Razzball reader would head on over to the RCL sign-ups, pick a league and all would be right with the world.  For those of you that aren’t so eager, let’s sit down and chat it out.

First of all, if you’re on the fence about joining an RCL, that can’t be comfortable.  You really should hop down from there and just join a league already.  I get it though, back in the late aughts, when I first started lurking around Razzball I too was reluctant to join an RCL.  I kick myself now though for not joining in the fun sooner.  I’ll give you the reasons I was staying away and then explain why it was complete bunk.  Maybe I can sway another 2-3 of you to come join the masses.  If you have other reasons for keeping away, by all means, lay them on me in the comments.  I love talking RCLs and if we can be doing something better, I’ll be your voice to the big wigs.  So, here we go:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

The LABR mixed-league draft has taken place in mid-February since its inception a couple of years ago and I have been lucky enough to be a part of it. Steve Gardner at USAToday.com is a gracious host, it’s a good group of people and competitors (even better with the addition of Dr. Roto and Scott Pianowski of Yahoo) and the timing of the draft is a great incentive to get my preseason projections, values and research done about the same time Grey finishes his marathon of player ranking posts.

Every preseason, I do things a little differently. I would like to say I am inspired by Einstein but his brilliance does not excuse his mediocre bagels. Yes, it’s not like I live in a bagel mecca nirvana heaven Garden of Eden in Austin, TX (Wholy Bagel excluded) but the theory of relativity does not extend to bagels IMO.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

If you’re like me on most Fridays, you’re sitting in your car beneath an underpass and writing ALF fan fiction, but today we have a different type of fantasy for you to engage in.  No, not your fantasy where it’s you and that girl from high school in a tub of Alphabet Soup and you write her a love letter on her back in noodles!  This is a fantasy baseball fantasy!  Because you know what would be really cool?  If you could join a fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 1000 other fantasy baseball teams.  But not a 1000-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, the Corpus Christi Amscrayers.  No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 90 other leagues of twelve.  That would be cool.  Oh, wait, we’ve done that.  It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it!  For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league!  That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences).  Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day.  As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon.  Or womon, for our five girl readers.  It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues. Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work.  We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners.  We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’  If you want to see how it worked last year, go here.  So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks.  Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum. Like last year, we will again be going with TWO DL SLOTS. The only things you need to change from the default settings is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS.  Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else. The lineup is also known as:  C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum.  The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.

We’re going to start with twenty leagues of 12 and see how we do from there. To join a league… Sorry, again for the people in the back of the room:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

The end is here my friends.  I thought for a second there we might have some Monday rain delay controversy, but it all worked out and it was Team Levy who took all the glory!  We’ve never had a team with a perfect season until now.  This guarantees Team Levy will remain in the RCL record books for all time as the perfect season can never be beaten, only tied.  That’s pretty amazing to think about.  Out of all the teams that have been managed throughout the the (seven?) years of RCLs and all the leagues we’ve seen, no one has ever pulled off the perfect season.  An amazing achievement!  For their efforts Team Levy takes home a shizz ton of loot.  Let’s see…hold on, searching the site to find the list of goodies…ah-ha, here it is: an autographed baseball of the player who is Grey’s avatar.  That’s right, an autographed baseball of… Well, I guess only Grey and Team Levy will know.  Levy will also receive an autographed baseball of Oscar Gamble!  That’s two, count ‘em, two autographed balls and last, but not least, a $250 Best Buy gift card.  I remember Best Buy, that was the place we used to go before the internet was invented to buy things like video games, CDs and speakers.  I’m pretty sure my local Best Buy just went out of business as a matter of fact.  Good times!  Oh, and Grey says he’ll throw in a Razzball T-shirt as well.  I don’t believe Team Levy has checked in via comments at all this year, but now would be the time.  Levy fended off some very tough competitors this year to claim the RCL crown and it took every bit of that perfect score to win.  Cram It put up a valiant final few weeks but came up 1 point short of going back to back.  Still first, followed by 2nd overall, beating out thousands in the process is no laughing matter.  Cram It deserves some major kudos.  This is Team Levy’s moment though, so hopefully they show up, take a bow and soak it up, they earned it.  Here’s what else what happened this year and this final week of the RCLs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

It’s hard to believe there’s only one week to go in this marathon of a season.  We’ve tortured ourselves for 25 long weeks, agonizing over batty calls, dipping into the streamers with mixed results, cursing players and praising others.  We’ve ignored our families, our jobs and our personal hygiene and now it all comes down to the final week.  You may smell like stale Funyuns, but dagummit, that virtual fantasy trophy is all yours.  Team Levy is perfect yet again, gaining back the point they lost last week.  After some good conversation with the crowd I came around a bit on Team Levy last week.  I was surprised to learn that no one in the history of the RCLs has ever gone perfecto.  That just goes to show you what a special feat it is, regardless of league competitive index.  We’ve had 117, 118, even 118.5, but never 120.  That’s a lot of teams in a lot of leagues, some of them pretty terrible I’m sure.  We could be witnessing RCL history folks and if it takes a historic achievement to take down a team from a high LCI league, so be it.  Let’s take a look at what else happened in the RCLs this week, in the week that was, week 25:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

We now have two weeks to go and a new contender has made a push.  Team Levy slipped back down to 119 points this week and Team Lion of South Side Titans gained two points, bringing their league total to 112.  The South Side Titans somehow holds an LCI of 101.  I say somehow since, you may recall, this was the league where Cody Allen was drafted 4th overall…right.  It appears to be a battle of the higher scoring teams in less competitive leagues right now.  The next three teams in the standings have all scored between 104-105 points in their respective leagues and all three leagues have a very high LCI of 106.  These three teams all sit 6-7 RCL Points behind Team Levy though.  It’s a bit of a bummer that the RCL Point formula doesn’t make this race a little tighter right now.  Having played in several of the higher LCI leagues over the years I have a bias towards those leagues.  I thought the formulas for this year was pretty solid and I suppose if it takes a perfect score in a below average league to win, that says something.  Still, a 108 or 109 in a high index league should be more in the mix.  I’m rooting for one of those to take that next leap these last two weeks.  Here’s what else took place in the week that was, week 24.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

Perfection achieved!  Perfection sustained is TBD, but I don’t see how anyone can chase down Team Levy in All Beddict Tha God in any category.  Maybe Ron Chi can catch Levy in saves, but I doubt it.  Maybe Team Nereim can catch Levy in HRs, but considering he’s got Logan Morrison, and even worse, Lance McCullers, in his starting lineup still, I don’t see that happening either.  The only other team in the league that seems to be playing still is The Talent Show, who’s in 2nd place.  The Talent Show is so far behind Team Levy in every category though, there’s little chance they catch him either.  So, this is Levy’s game to lose it would seem.  The saving grace for Cram It and Backdoor Sliders is that despite reaching a perfect 120, the LCI for All Hail Beddict Tha God dropped to 99, meaning it’s now officially a below average league.  That drop in LCI meant that moving from 119 to 120 had absolutely zero affect on Team Levy’s RCL Points, which stayed at 116.6.  With only 3 owners really doing much, the LCI could continue to drop which would only narrow the gap.  If the LCI in DFSers Anonymous or FCL grows above that 106 mark, things could get pretty tight.  It’s a long shot, but Team Levy should send out a league wide e-mail to his stagnant league mates to try and drum up some activity.  Maybe offer them all some Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons if they come back and at least set a roster for the week.  Anything would help with three weeks to go.  Here’s what else went down in the RCLs in the week that was, Week 23:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

There’s an old African expression that I just made up, it goes “A hippo in the Bush is more dangerous than a pack of lions”. Whether anyone in an actual African country has ever whispered that phrase I don’t know. What I do know is, that in the Razznasty a Hippo is more dangerous than all the other Lions combined. After leading by the slimmest of margins entering August, the Matt Truss led Hippos has put his foot on the gas, switched on the nitrous, and left the rest of the league in the dust. In the past 30 days he’s gone from 121 points and a half point lead over Raskals, to 137.5 points and an 11.5 point lead over his rival. With good across the board production, and a slight edge in pitching, Hippos is doing it all. Seriously he’s top 5 in every category but RBIs, where he ranks 6th. Way to come on Matt, you’re both a Czar, a scholar, and a Maine resident. That means you’re Russian royalty, know how to spell deductible, and love a good Skowhegan whoopie pie. What, you don’t understand why whoopie pies and Maine, particularly Skow-Vegas, are synonymous? What can I say there are just mysteries that can’t be explained. This isn’t one of those, I just don’t feel like uncovering why the two are related. The whoopie’s are amazing though….Hey it’s the final Razznasty Update for 2016!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

I hope everyone had a great long weekend and you’re all freshened up for the final four weeks.  I’m just barely recovered from a weekend of Fantasy Football drafts.  These are teams that will be mostly ignored for the first 4 weeks of the season until baseball is over.  That’s why I went ahead and drafted Tom Brady, Le’Veon Bell and Josh Gordon on every team.  See, I’m a thinker!  This is where things get a little crazy for those that are two sport fantasy stars.  Some RCL teams that were hanging on by a thread could be completely forgotten as owners turn their longing eyes to Fantasy Baseball’s more popular, but I think, less skillful cousin.  I maintain the opinion that my grandmother could sit down with a random set of rankings and draft a Fantasy Football team that could win a championship.  I’ve seen teams that drafted 3 kickers take down a league championship before.  That’s not to say I don’t love it, I really do, but baseball has a much bigger place in my heart.  It takes a special type of sadist to login everyday for 26 straight weeks, set a roster, make appropriate add/drops and not lose interest by May though.  If you’re reading this, you’re clearly one of those sadist, and I applaud you.  Let’s finish strong and then get back to those football teams we’ve been ignoring and beat the snot out of grandmama and the dude with three kickers, shall we?  But first, let’s take a look at what happened in the RCLs in the week that was, week 22:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   
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