Fear not fellow humans!  From the ashes of battle where man matches wits against machine, flesh and bone heros have arisen!  These brave few march onward and upward, pencils sharpened, calculators at the ready and social lives put on hold.  They fight this battle not just for themselves, but for all human fantasy baseballers everywhere.  

The human race has moved into a dead heat atop the Razzball Commenter Leagues Master Standings with the robot army’s very own, Rudy is Snooty.  Despite the fact that Rudy is Snooty has made a whopping 1040 moves to date (no doubt at least 10 more by the time you read this), frequent commenter and fellow RazzNasty & Rio Ruiz Super League leaguemate, Mad Beach Bums (Rakers Nation) has pulled into a Master Standings tie with a mere 74 total moves.  There is hope that a human brain’s ability to add and hold players such as Corey Dickerson is on par with any robot playing the match-ups everyday.  I have had the distinct displeasure of trying to chase down Mad Beach Bums in the Rio Ruiz Super League.  This league was set-up by a man, no stranger to battle himself, the El Presidente of the Crab Army, Prospector Ralph.  Mad Beach Bums drafted exactly ONE starting pitcher in this league, Dylan Bundy.  With that he has now accumulated 58 Games Started, leads the league in ERA and is second in WHIP.  Maybe the Bums are actually part machine themselves.  Do we have a double agent in our midst?  If the Bums do flip we have a trio of human soldiers waiting to do battle with the machines, lurking in the overall top 20.  More on them and the other goings ons in the RCLs in the week that was, week 7:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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It was quite the week for trading in the Razzball Commenter Leagues this week as we saw 16 trades completed, several of which caused some commotion and consternation.  Those 16 trades don’t include the several vetoed trades (looking at you Cougs R Us) nor the few trades that were accepted Sunday but won’t be processed until Monday.   Those will be included in next week’s data.

Mike Maher and myself got the party kicked off last Tuesday morning, a couple hours before last week’s update hit.  You may have seen last week’s comments filled with talk of Bryce Harper.  In the deal I sent Mike Ryan Braun ($19.0), Miguel Sano ($18.7), Dallas Keuchel ($16.0) and Travis Shaw (-$10.2).  In return I received Bryce Harper ($38.0) and Carlos Santana ($20.0).  Those values in parentheses are the Rudy/Steamer Rest Of Season values as of Monday afternoon.  That comes out to (ignoring Travis Shaw, who was a throw in) $53.7 for Mike and $58.0 for myself.  At the time of the trade Ryan Braun wasn’t on the DL yet so his value was a bit higher.  This also doesn’t take into account the lineup flexibility I gain from the deal.  For example, I was able to add Alex Wood, who could end up being this year’s Dallas Keuchel circa 2015 if the Dodgers don’t yank his chain too much as well as a streaming spot for hitter/RP/streaming starter.  Grey was chirping and the consensus was that I had ripped off poor Mr. Maher.  In fact, Tehol posted two days AFTER the trade processed that the league should “do the right thing” and veto the deal.  This led Mike (who you should totally follow on Twitter – @mikeMaher) to break out the following Twitter Poll.  Only 4 out of 20 of Mike’s Twitter followers seemed to think I won that deal, with one Twitterer going on to say it wasn’t even close (which Mike agreed).  So, what does the rest of Razzball nation have to say about this deal?  I hate to make the entire lede about a deal that involved my team, so let’s bring this back to trades in general.  I’m entirely anti-veto.  Unless there’s money on the line and something can be proven that two parties are conspiring with one another to win a league and split the prize, I say let the deal stand.  In general, these RCLs are filled with people who don’t really know each other, just like a public league on any other site.  The only thing most of us have in common is reading Razzball.  Bryce Harper could snap any number of tendons tomorrow and then I’m left standing in the rain, cold and sad.  Managers evaluate talent differently, what you view as a good deal, I might not.  It’s your team though, so you do you, I’ll do me and we’ll ridicule your trade in the court of public opinion in the comments below.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was actually Billy Hamilton that led all batters in week 5 with 47 points, but since no one picked him, I’m moving down the list. Next up is Cody Bellinger who swatted 40 points. Guess what. No one picked him either. The first batter on the list to be picked was Matt Carpenter, but since he finished fifth I just don’t feel like he deserves to be highlighted. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I’m giving the honor to Bellinger. In 21 at bats he had 9 hits, including three home runs, and 12 RBIs. In addition, Adrian Gonzalez gave him the middle finger 37 times. Once again, only a stat you can get from us fine folk here at Razzball.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Stick a fork in week 5, it’s done!  Now, if a fork only has three prongs, is it a threek?  Is a two-pronger a twoork?  Maybe a  twerk?  These are the questions that must be answered.  Another question that must be answered is can anyone can stop the RCL Auto-Bots engineered by Sullivan Inc.?  Last week Mr. Sullivan had three teams in the top with the fourth knocking on the door.  This week, the bots have kicked down that door and taken the top 10 by storm.  The bots now control the first, second, sixth and eighth spots in the overall top 10 and show no signs of slowing.  If there is one mortal who gives the human race some hope of defeating the RCL Bots, it’s Cram It.  After an overall championship followed by a 2nd place overall finish last season, our human hero has a team sitting just outside the top 10 overall this week at 11th.  It’s man vs. machine heading into the sixth week of the season.  This will be a fun battle to watch.  So, grab a twerk and let’s dig into all the stats in the week that was, week 5.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Week 4 has come and gone and we didn’t have a top 25 player get suspended for PED use, hurrah!  Also, the fantasy prospects deities of choice graced us with Cody Bellinger!  If you play in any RCLs that Ralph doesn’t, I hope you were able to scoop the kid.  If Ralph is in your league, my condolences.  The man loves him some rookie nookie.  I realized last Tuesday that Ralph and I are in way too many leagues together as I arrived 5 minutes late to the free agent adding party.  Three out of eight leagues isn’t too bad though and those that stuck with Bellinger got treated to a double dong Saturday.  Just like that Cody Bellinger has done more for my fantasy teams than Joc Pederson.  Take your time coming off the DL Joc, Cody’s got this. At 92% ownership in RCLs, I don’t think I’m the only one echoing those sentiments to keep Belinger in the lineup.  The rookie call-up is pretty funny in redrafts, you never know when the next Mike Trout will be called up to help win you your league.  Lewis Brinson?  Austin Meadows?  Yoan Moncada?  You just never know.  Well, maybe Ralph knows.  Let’s check in on Ralph’s team(s) and the rest of the week that was week 4 in the RCLs:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t look now, but the hottest dynasty baseball league in the game is back for another monthly update. We are the American Dream personified. A former colony of the REL, otherwise known as the Razzball Elite League, and the evil iron fist of King George JB. Much like our founding fathers, [email protected] and I, the league’s John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson worked hard to redraft our constitution, and bring prosperity to all those affected by King George JB’s extreme taxation. Through these wars waged by an army of rag tag farmers, a great general emerged. Who is this great general? Our George Washington, if you will. None other than the original smoothie himself, Captain of the clean gooch, one Nick The Dick. Under the courageous command of Nick, and his Captain Jaaaaaake, Razz30 has taken on all comers, and anyone looking to down our new found utopia. There is no 30 team league in the land where it’s citizen’s are better educated, better looking, or just plain better. Our gooches are hairless, but our faces are not. We trade like spice merchants in the ports of the Orient! We pillage the posts of our enemies! We chat like high school girls on social messaging apps. We’re the league you wish you played in. It’s the Razz30 Update for April in the year of our lord two thousand and seventeen. Claws Up for my Family!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Three weeks in and I’m sure there’s some of you out there pressing as much as Jose Abreu right now.  Is it too soon to be worried that you’re falling behind in stolen bases?  Probably not, unless of course you lost Starling Marte for 80 games.  What a bummer.  You can’t hold a guy on the bench for half the season, can you?  I’ve seen him dropped in several leagues and picked right back up.  I don’t think I’d have the stomach to waste a roster spot for 3 months, but to each their own.  After next week we’ll be at a good point to stop and assess our teams as well as start scouring for trades to address whatever weaknesses we find.  It’s still early folks and there’s no reason to be dropping a guy like Jose Abreu or doing anything else crazy just yet.

A big thank you to Rudy and Malamoney this week as we now have Master Standings!  Who’s numero uno?  You’ll have to read on to see.  We also now have data that helps me put together the weekly leaders and the Team Of The Week!  I’m giddy, are you?  If so, let’s go check out the goods:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I hope everyone had a fun second week.  There was some good, like Eric Thames going bonkers in five straight.  There was also some bad, like whatever it is Byron Buxton is doing (nothing).  Giancarlo finally went yard, now let’s see if Mookie Betts, Jose Abreu, Jose Bautista and Hanley Ramirez can take the hint.  Geez, no wonder all my teams are starting so slow.

It’s the silly season for our leagues at this point, where we can have huge swings in the standings based on 2-3 good days of stats.  Only two teams remain in the top 10 from last week and one of them just so happens to be the first place team.  Let’s take a look at the standings as well as some trades in the RCLs this week.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe it’s Byron Buxton’s incredible slump, maybe it’s the lack of HRs from Giancarlo Stanton, maybe it’s because I own(ed) Luke Gregerson on way too many team but opening week isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m giddy to have baseball back and be back on the RCL grind.  I’d be lying though if I said getting off to a slow start doesn’t matter week 1.  Everyone wants to start the first week leading their league.  I always dream of going wire to wire.  It’s not happening for me in any RCLs this year, but it’s a long season, plenty of time to win these things.  Are you slugging your way to the top of your league via George Springer?  Maybe you’ve Kendall Graveman’d yourself to the front of the pack instead.  Either way, I hope your roto point floweth over.  Trea Turner owners, (I have 1 share) I send my condolences.  No one likes a hammy injury for their young speedster.  Anthony Rizzo and Miguel Cabrera owners, the support group meeting is tonight at 7 in the basement of the town library.  I’ll bring the Cracker Jack, you bring the Big League Chew and we’ll have a prayer octagon.  

Already the RCL battle has been waged on the waiver wire as the race to grab that sweet SAGNOF started early.  Roberto Osuna made a surprise DL appearance and Jason Grilli was the first add of the year for those seeking cheap saves.  Jeanmar Gomez became the first victim of the closerpocolypse this year and to everyone’s surprise it was not Hector Neris, but 39 year old Joaquin Benoit, who got the keys to the 9th from Pete Mackrackhead.  I can’t wait to see how long that lasts.  Let’s take a look now at which RCL teams are getting an early jump on their league standings:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since this post goes live on Fridays, in order to give participants that right amount of time to make their picks, and the weekly scoring period doesn’t end until Sunday night, we are always going to be about a week and a half behind in reporting the winners. For instance, right now week one’s contest is in full swing. Literally. Pun intended. However, since week 1 doesn’t conclude until this Sunday night, I won’t know who won until then. And even then it will probably be more like Monday when I get around to tabulating the results. Does anyone tabulate anymore? Or is it that they just don’t use the word?

So here’s how I’m going to handle the organization of this contest. On Fridays the contest post for the coming week will be announced right here. At the same time I will announce the winner from the contest two weeks earlier since this will be my first opportunity to do so. I addition I will let you know who is winning the current contest from the previous week. So on Fridays I will tell you what I can about the contest that is still in play. This will include who is winning as well as some other semi useless details.

The exception to this process will be this week’s post since we do not have any winners yet to declare.

For those of you anxious for updates I will be tweeting out random updates throughout the week. However, the winners will only be announced right here in this post on Razzball. When announcing the winner, this post will also highlight the top batter from that week.

Without further ado, let’s talk about Week 1…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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