Welcome back for another star-studded event! ¬†Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of ‘star’ with “guy who lives in his mom‚Äôs basement and screams when someone finishes his Doritos,” and next to the definition of ‘stud’ you put a picture of yourself. ¬†The Razzballies are the only award show where it‚Äôs totally fine to show up in sweatpants, and for your fingers to be orange from Cheetos. ¬†We don‚Äôt judge. ¬†We will occasionally¬†mock. ¬†Mock-judge, tomato-tomahto. ¬†Get over it!¬† But don’t mock Judge, that’s not all right.¬† I hope you enjoyed the clip show where I inserted myself into various baseball clips from this year. ¬†How about the clip where I was Jason Kipnis watching his team win every game he missed? ¬†Hee-lar-e-us! ¬†So, before I‚Äôm talking to no one but a room full of seat-fillers, here‚Äôs the year-end awards for the best and worst of fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Player projections for each of the next 7 days. A kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.
Welcome to another season of Razz-matazz Fantasy Baseball. For those of you wondering, that actually was Grey’s second choice for naming this site, but as you can see, Razz-ball won out, much to the chagrin of jazz fingers around the world. And just one ball. No multiple balls I guess. Kinda like the opposite of how Hilton didn’t want just one tree. Double that sh*t! But here we are with another year of staff picks. So what’s the goal with this? Hashtag content, baby. (That’s the technical term.) There’s another goal though, one less self-fulfilling, unlike your mother. Despite the modern advancement of technology and science, we still have no way to have every writer provide their extended (or in Tehol’s case, I always hope abbreviated) take on every single player in the MLB. We try though! And so we have this quick-and-easy (I regret burning my “yo momma” joke now…) presentation that provides you, the Razz
matazzball community a viewer-friendly and succinct breakdown of how we feel about the upcoming season. Last season’s can be found here for posterity! So¬†without further ado, here are our Official 2017 Razzball Picks, and be sure to share your picks in the comment section!
(The following is the Introduction to my new (e)book, Pigeons on a Table!¬† To purchase, click here.¬† It‚Äôs $15.¬† I will be donating a portion to my growing stomach.¬† After you buy it, I‚Äôll email you the (e)book. ¬†It is¬†available in¬†ePub, MOBI and PDF formats, i.e., it’ll open on your computer or mobile device.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome back for another star-studded event! ¬†Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of ‘star’ with “guy who lives in his mom’s basement and screams when someone finishes his Doritos,” and next to the definition of ‘stud’ you put a picture of yourself. ¬†The Razzballies are the only award show where it’s totally fine to show up in sweatpants, and for your fingers to be orange from Cheetos. ¬†We don’t judge. ¬†We will occasionally¬†mock. ¬†Mock-judge, tomato-tomahto. ¬†Get over it! ¬†I hope you enjoyed the clip show where I inserted myself into various baseball clips from this year. ¬†How about the clip where I was Joe Maddon intentionally walking Bryce Harper? ¬†Hee-lar-e-US! ¬†So, before I’m talking to no one but a room full of seat-fillers, here’s the year-end awards for the best and worst of fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Every off-season my phone prepares itself to get a lot less use; not checking it every five minutes to see stat updates¬† makes my wife happy.¬† For me, there’s a bittersweet feeling.¬† It almost seems like the baseball season isn’t six months long (wait, yes it does). In a week it’s bye-bye to Stat-tracker, Yahoo! and ESPN apps, MLB Network and MLB AtBat; now it’s time for just watching baseball.
I’m talking a whole nine-inning game, not just highlights and live look-ins or catching three innings of a game when I can; or hitting up a few games, getting a hot dog, complaining about parking and overpriced beer, never catching a foul ball, leaving early because it’s a blow out; I’m talking playoff baseball.¬† My Cubs are in it and I’m ready to see them get to that World Series.¬† Yes, this is the year.¬† No more curses, stupid goats or nerdy scapegoats.¬† This is the year!¬† And now that I’ve sufficiently jinxed the Cubbies, back to fantasy baseball.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I call it mayonnaise malaise because those words go together as cool as words can, and that it reminds me of how my wife always make fun of me for how I say mayonnaise (I say it May-naze, which is the Chicagoan in me I guess though Tony Soprano says it similarly so maybe it’s my Italian side) even though I didn’t even like mayo until my late twenties and my wife is a fan of Miracle Whip.¬† Now though my wife makes her own mayo (we did move to Cali this year) and I’m stuck with the mayo malaise blues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t know about you, but I love playing board games. I can’t say I have much opportunity to do so, but now that I have a three¬†year old it’s only a matter of time before I’m back in the swing of things putting hotels on Boardwalk and collecting $200 for passing Go. I have actually been buying a board games since she was born so that when the time comes, I’m ready to rock. I’ve got most of the classics, but¬†have also picked up a few newbies that just look cool. Today, however, we are playing the fantasy baseball guessing game where I give you some clues about two players and you tell me who the two players are in the comments section. For those of you that missed out on the first four¬†rounds¬†you can find out how this game works by clicking here.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who doesn’t enjoy¬†a fun¬†game. Personally I’m a big fan of both board games and card games. And if you couldn’t tell by my profile image, I am an avid Legend of Zelda fan. I have the tattoo on my shoulder to prove it. Just in case I ever need to prove it. For those that like card games I have a solid recommendation. The game is called Five Crowns and it’s pretty awesome. It’s best played with five players and a game will take about an hour, but it’s an hour well spent. And remember, the game isn’t over till the Kings go wild! In the meantime, however, I turn to your attention back to the game at hand. For those that need the rules, you can find them here.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was Professor Plum with a baseball in the visitors locker room. Clue was a pretty sweet game back in the day. I say “back in the day” because I haven’t played it in over twenty years. I guess it’s still the same game, but I just don’t play it anymore. And if I did, I probably wouldn’t admit it. This game is a bit different. However, the goal is somewhat similar. Guess the players I am about to describe.¬†For those of you that missed out on the first three¬†rounds¬†you can find out how this game works by clicking here.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Two weeks ago I said that 2016 was not the year to own Byron Buxton and that in non-dynasty formats he was droppable. Some of you applauded my position, while others second guessed their decision to even read my post. One reader went as far as sending me an email letting me know that I was an idiot and that¬†he wished I was in his league because his league could use more bad players. I accepted his invitation, but have yet to hear back. On Monday Buxton was¬†optioned to Class AAA Rochester. Game. Set. Match. Fantasy tennis anyone?Please, blog, may I have some more?