I cannot wait for the season to start. I am too giddy to see all my predictions come true, prove everyone my word should be law. The dream. I had my RCL draft last night and man was it fun; I was hoping for a little more banter in the draft room but only one of my league mates was in on the fun. Now I’ve got a controversial story for you this week. Doctor Bob is working in his clinic and his long time patient Patty walks in. She’s pregnant! Congrats? Well she is still shy of her 20th birthday and has already had an abortion the year before, so congratulations might not be in order. Doctor Bob continues his appointment with Patty and lo-and-behold, her younger sister is pregnant as well and due within the month. That is quite the adventure for this family at this point. Also, I may be wrong here, but it seems as if these girls do not want to be pregnant teenagers as one of them already had an abortion. This kind of thing makes me wonder how people make certain decisions in life. I’m often baffled. If I were either of these girls friends I would gift them condoms and birth control for their next five birthdays. If they wanted the babies though, congratulations!

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Today we’ll take a look at the AL Central. Honestly, this division bores the hell of out of me and provides no pizzazz or oomph. The most fun part about this division is the lack of honor the White Sox have when asking Adam LaRoche to not bring his kid home when he had explained specifically before signing that it was a requirement. So the contract said “Kid A” must be allowed to come to work with me. My motto in life, specifically in any leadership role like coaching is: “Family over everything”. I back LaRoche’s decision and I expect the White Sox organization to fall apart as their players continue to be discontent with management. What was once a promising season ahead with a vastly improved offense, I believe will turn into a huge disappointment comparable to some dumb reality TV show. Good luck to the White Sox. On to the position battles! Snooozee….

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The National League Least has the Marlins, Braves and Phillies to thank for the Least moniker, as none of those teams were able to win 72 games last year. The Braves and Phillies are in rebuild mode. What’s your excuse Marlins? At least, they have an awesome sculpture in the outfield. Why? Thank goodness, for the fanatical few on the East Coast that actually read this, least means smallest and not bereft of everything. The Metropolitans and Nationals are juggernauts and represent the division well. Speaking of representing… RIP Phife Dawg. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Chicks dig the long-ball, so it’s a good thing that some of the preeminent boppers reside in this division. Pitching wins championships, though, and some of the most exciting and young arms are on display. With that said, there are plenty of spots open for the taking. I will discuss the major ones below for each team.

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My initial thought regarding the NL Central was that it was the best division in all of baseball. The St. Louis Cardinals won 100 games last year, while the Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Cubs won 98 and 97 games respectively. To put that into perspective, since 1969, there have only been 47 teams to reach the 100 win mark. The division almost had three in the same season! Wilt would chuckle, but wouldn’t be impressed. Anyways, most of the great philosophical enlightenments come from cartoons. This one being particularly relevant. Put another way, the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds are the cellar dwellers, both failing to win 70 wins last year. I guess the division is a microcosm of mankind. You got the “haves” and the “have-nots.” With two punching bags in the division, which elevates the win totals of the other teams, the NL Central cannot be considered the best division in baseball. That distinction probably goes to the AL East, but we are not here to talk about that. We are here to discuss the position battles in the NL Central. So without further adieu Pepe Le Pew….

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The Los Angeles Dodgers have won the last three NL West Division titles. Yipeee!!! The San Francisco Giants:

  

2010. 2012. 2014. For you numerologists and spewers of Mayan Aztec prophecy, that’s the last three even years. What year are we in?  As a Dodgers fan, it pains me to paste those pictures. Stupid pumpkin looking uniforms. It totally messes with my head when I watch the Giants during the summer time. I suddenly get all cold, check the pantry for bags of candy and make sure the porch light is on. Anyways, this is the NL West in a nutshell:

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I will stop berating Grey’s over-zealous rankings and try to sway you on some position battles. My skills of persuasion are top notch; every player I think will win the battle will magically have 600 plate appearances or throw 200 innings. I will be focusing on the AL, in a three part series, starting with the sexy AL East today. I won’t be discussing sexy names like Manny Machado, Jose Bautista or Mookie Betts C.C. Sabathia. But first! We need to discuss a very important matter. I watched two videos where a young YouTuber, we’ll call him Jug, was creating a resume and performing a mock interview to apply for a very generic entry-level job coming that you would apply for coming out of college. A little context, Jug is a 20-something year old, recent college grad who has been making YouTube videos to support himself the past 1-2 years. As he is creating his resume and performing the mock interview he sounds like the most ignorant human being ever created. In the interview he talks about the size of his Johnson and how he’s had a threesome before. Inappropriate in all regards and a real embarrassment to the parenting he received and the institutions he attended for schooling. It is very possible the videos and his entire life is scripted but if this isn’t the case then I fear for the youth of today.

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marlins

Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post…Scott Gelman, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Miami Marlins!

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When it comes to rookies we all known the top 100 prospects, and the guys outside the rankings with all the helium, but more often than not it’s the unheralded prospects that can make all the difference in deeper leagues and dynasty’s. Ask the 2014 Charlie Blackmon owner, the 2015 Delino Deshields owner, or the guy that picked up Travis Shaw down the stretch. They’ll tell you that when everyone else was blinded by minor leagues stats, or top 100 hyperboles, they took a shot on a guy who had something more important than hype; playing time. When it comes down to it, no matter the format, or scoring system everything starts and ends with playing time opportunity. So, with that said, for the next two posts I’m going to take a look at players that have a chance of breaking camp with their clubs, and reaping the benefits of that most important thing. Today we focus on the hitters and Wednesday we’ll move onto the pitchers. These won’t be your heralded guys like A.J. Reed or Jose Peraza, but those less sexy “rooks” that toe the line of JAG, and sleeper. Behold, Dr. Lifshitz’s Sleeper Rookies for 2016 Fantasy Baseball!

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8198_colorado_rockies-cap-2013

Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post…Bryan Kilpatrick, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Colorado Rockies!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   

Detroit-Tigers-Tiger-Logo-Design_9662f8d9-183f-462b-8e45-81432b69a110_1024x1024

Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post… Rob Rogacki, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Detroit Tigers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   
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