Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was. He’s been playing under an assumed name. His real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, he’s a Latin 29 and he’s pen pals with Keyser Söze. He enjoys snorkeling through Atlantis, talking to his giant rabbit Harvey and hunting Sasquatch. With the Marlins’ discovery of Leo the Lyin’, he was put on the restricted list. One time I was put on a restricted list at a nightclub because I had a few too many tequila shots, danced with someone’s girlfriend, who I shouldn’t have, and bam! restricted list. Now I can only hang outside the club and get handed flyers promoting other clubs that I don’t want to go to. Though I can sneak back in that club occasionally. Just need to feather my hair a little more bouncy. I wonder if the same holds true for Nunez. Show up in a pencil-thin mustache like Spike, Snoopy’s very un-PC Mexican brother, and pitch the ninth. Either way, I feel for you, Nunez. We are sympatico! While the Marlins and Nunez try to come to terms with who he is, Steve Cishek and Edward Mujica will get saves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Casper Wells – Shut down for the year because of his sinuses. Same thing used to sideline Felix Unger.
CC Sabathia – Won’t pitch again in the regular season. The newest Biggest Loser started this week too. Hmm… Coincidence?
Stephen Strasburg – Will pitch the last regular season game. It’s not a home game and it would be on four days rest, so I’m not sure I understand it. Maybe the Nats just really like having Livan as their ace and don’t know how else to make that happen.
Brad Peacock – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 2 Ks. I’m starting to get pretty excited about this young pitcher. His recent K-rate in the minors was a thing of beauty and walk rate wasn’t too shabby at all. Wouldn’t be surprised to see the Nats let him start the year in the minors, but should be up fairly quickly. Am I weird for getting excited about the 2012 baseball season already?
Kevin Gregg – Got the save yesterday because Johnson pitched the last three days. Vegas should take odds on whether or not Kevin Gregg will have a closer job next year. At the right odds, I say he will. I wouldn’t put anything past some teams. I mean, how much is Barry Zito owed? Any the hoo! Gregg’s not the closer right now, Johnson is.
Adam Jones – 2-for-4 with the slam & legs. He’s been pretty terrible recently, so I was about to write how he’s really taken a dive after the All-Star Break, but turns out that was confirmation bias. He hasn’t been good in September, but his post-All-Star Break numbers aren’t bad.
Phil Humber – 6 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. Ozzie tweeted that Humber was leaving too much of his puta over the plate.
Jason Kipnis – Hit his 7th homer of the year yesterday and he’s hitting .333 over the last week. Kipnis is locked in, like kishka in derma.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 25th homer. Guess he wasn’t done for the year. *dodging tomatoes*
Jeanmar Gomez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks. He’s been excellent since August 30th. He was on yesterday’s borderline starter post, so, yeah, grab him for his last start of the year.
Jemile Weeks – 3-for-3 with a homer, and 5 for his last 7. As I tell my girlfriends, you have to ignore the sample size.
Trevor Cahill – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners, 1 K. At 4.31 ERA, 1.40 WHIP and 11 wins on the year. He had a pretty unremarkable season as I thought he would so you would think I’d be happy. I am. Schadenfreude!
Blake Beavan – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Yesterday, we were updating the website again. (I know, sigh. If anyone’s having a hard time seeing this post, tell me in the comments, but I imagine you won’t see it to tell me. Double sigh.) Anyway, I bring this up because I was tied up and wasn’t able to watch the Beavan/Swarzak, M’s vs. Twins match-up. Maybe I’ll catch it on ESPN Classic.
Justin Smoak – 3-for-4, 1 RBI. He was supposed to be out for the year, but as we know, supposing makes a supp out of sing… Wait, what?
Dustin Ackley – 2-for-4 with his 6th steal. Some rookies know how to finish and not hurt their fingers. Brett Lawrie, “Doode, that hurts.”
Ben Revere – 2-for-4, hitting everything like it’s a pancake and he’s Mrs. Butterworth. Hey, it’s September, I’ve used a lot of my better metaphors. Revere will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, the last one of the year. That’s sad. I might need a hug. Or I might need to bail October Grey out of jail so he can grab the reins.
Matt Kemp – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 36th homer. Started strong, finishing strong. Can we say lurve?
Eric Thames – 2-for-6 with his 2nd homer in as many games. I’d say he’s gonna be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but that would be a lie. I’m no liar. Maybe a fibber from time to time. Thames could be a Buy though, if you need power.
Allen Craig – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer. Now has 3 homers in the last 5 games. As if that wasn’t enough, he looks like the little kid from that Brooklyn Bridge show from a while back.
Matt Moore – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks. Wow. Wait, what? Oh, wow. In Yankee Stadium. As in eleven eleven Ks? Wow. Sure, it was against the Yankees B lineup, but wow. Since you’re gonna ask, I think he’ll start the year in the minors and be a June call-up. Game changing in June of 2012? After what I saw yesterday, yeah, I believe he can be.
Manny Ramirez – Said he will serve his suspension and play next year. Manny has officially entered Charlie Sheen territory. Next stop, Diane Sawyer interview, cryptic messages over Twitter and Ashton Kutcher playing in the Rays outfield.
