There’s no greater compliment I can give a player than I wish I owned him in every league. Okay, maybe a higher compliment is I wish he’d married my mom and been my dad, but then he’d be old and I wouldn’t be able to own him in every league, unless he married her when I was, like, 20 and he was three years old, but then I’d sorta be like his dad, but I would have to call him dad and that would be confusing, what would I call him, “Lil’ Dad?” “Half Pops?” “Daddy Little Jeans?” And if Daddy Little Jeans were my dad and I owned him in fantasy and he had a bad game, then dinner would be awkward. “Hey, Daddy Little Jeans, you can’t get a hit off a Marlins pitcher? You’re useless, and my mom wants a divorce!” So, in conclusion, it’s best if I say I want to own a player vs. have him be my dad. Seriously, though, Bryce Harper (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs with his 8th homer, hitting .315) could be finally putting up that 45/15/.320 season we’ve all been dreaming about, and headed for a $750 million pay day with the Yanks (after holding out for three months into the season).
— Razzball (@Razzball) April 17, 2018
Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Adam Eaton – Nats are optimistic Eaton can return on Friday. Nats manager David Martinez said, “As long as Eaton doesn’t fall and hurt himself inside the bubble where we are housing him, he’ll be a-okay.”
Jeremy Hellickson – 4 2/3 IP, 2 ER in his 1st start. Hellickson bumps Cole from the rotation. Figured if Cole was getting replaced it would’ve been by Soler.
Ryan Madson – 1 IP, 0 ER and the 2nd save. I’m hoping this is an early season anomaly, but somehow Madson has as many saves as Doolittle, even though Doolittle (apt!) is presumably the closer.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .356. Asdrubal’s been my hottest hitter on one team. Boy, does that team suck!
Jacob deGrom – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.24. Yesterday, I said Syndergaard is a 2.75-ish ERA guy with boku Ks. DeGrom? He’s a 3.20 ERA guy with boku Ks. Boku is not the guy who played Mike Milligan on the 2nd season of Fargo, by the way.
Wil Myers – Aiming to return on Friday, and will start a rehab assignment today at High-A Lake Elsinore from Lemony Snicket.
Christian Villanueva – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .333. Nope, I have no idea why you haven’t picked him up either. Fear of success?
Matt Kemp – 2-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, then he was lifted in the 5th because someone said, “Matt’s up,” and Dave Roberts heard, “Matchups.”
Hyun-Jin Ryu – 6 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.87. I wonder if it’s too late to email my league and say I nominated Ryu and not Yu.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .351. Yeah, but Giancarlo walked once! I mean, c’mon! In a 12-run game, that’s gotta be something, right?
Didi Gregorius – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th and 5th homers, hitting .327. You’re not completely wrong to think you would’ve been better drafting Didi over Giancarlo. You would’ve been better off drafting Joe Panik over Giancarlo. Speaking of Panik… Please, Giancarlo, don’t make me cry (more).
Gary Sanchez – 3-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBIs, hitting .185. Wow, he’s hitting for a worse average than Giancarlo, or what’s more believable at this point is some of Giancarlo’s strikeouts are being charged to Sanchez.
Luis Severino – 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.63. This game was against the Marlins, and the Vegas line was -280, which means they expected the Marlins to score negative 280 runs, so Severino kinda got rocked.
George Springer – 2-for-3 and his 4th homer. Someone’s in playoff mode!
Dallas Keuchel – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.52 vs. James Paxton – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.57. This was a matchup designed in the Fantasy Labs of Norway to prove why Quality Start leagues are better. Stop trying to infiltrate our society with your Quality Starts and umlauts!
Reynaldo Lopez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 10 Ks, ERA at 1.42. He’s faced the Tigers, Jays and A’s — oh my! His next start vs. the Astros will be the first time we’ll see if he’s getting by on matchups or if this is legit. Like a teamster, I’m leaning on the latter, but we’ll see. Or not. Your choice.
Josh Harrison – Out for six weeks due to a fractured hand. William Henry Harrison lasted longer. Adam Frazier will likely see an increase in playing time, which is good for NL-Only, but with his 7/12/.270 profile even over 162 games there’s not a whole lot here. Though, I do like how Frazier puts up title cards between at-bats.
German Marquez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.34. I was eying German Marquez this preseason. Not simply because he sounds like he fleed to Argentina from Nazi Germany with the original Mona Lisa. “I call this Mona…Robinson, after the character on Who’s the Boss?” That’s German trying to divert attention. Any hoo! In the preseason, he was one of those guys I was looking at in NL-Only leagues, due to a 95 MPH fastball, and a low-8 K/9 and 4.15 ERA potential. Still samesies, but not really anything in mixed leagues outside of streams.
Trevor Story – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (3), hitting .200. He’s a three-game hot streak away from being one of the top shortstops in the league. Hashtag still early.
Charlie Blackmon – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer. *spritzes a black mist into the air* That’s Chazz Noir, a sweet spray of Blackmon.
Julio Teheran – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.40. At some point last year, I decided I never wanted to go back in on Teheran, like a character from The Looming Tower, and his xFIP isn’t telling me I’m wrong in that thinking.
Odubel Herrera – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer, hitting .340, as he hits in the three hole. I can think of better guys for the Phils to hit third, but, if ODB is there, he’s worth owning.
Aaron Nola – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 2.22, as he was pulled after 85 pitches. I’d say Kapler is using kid gloves with Nola, but those might be the gloves he wears so only his nuts get tanned when sunbathing.
Luis Castillo – 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 5.96. *face smooshed against the window, tie hanging outside, trapped in the closed window* Um, could you re-open the Buy Low window on Castillo? My tie’s stuck. *window opens slightly* Okay, because he gave up a two-run double on his 107th pitch, when he should’ve been out of the game, then the next pitcher gave up two more runs charged to Castillo.
Billy Hamilton – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, hitting .196. Reds might be the only team to score ten runs and leave me yawnstipated. Hey, Billy, ribbies are nice, but get some Taco Bell, we’re here for the runs!
Jurickson Profar – Left yesterday’s game after a hard slide took him out. Mat Gamelitis is getting hurt right when you appear to be breaking out, but Jurickson’s Syndrome appears to be getting hurt right when you actually get playing time.
Nomar Mazara – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .311. Racist! I wrote a sleeper post for Mazara this offseason, I know, we’re a full 15 games into the season, but it still applies.
Joey Gallo – 1-for-4 and his 6th homer, hitting .216. Joey will make you ‘roo the day!
Blake Snell – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners (0 walks), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.95. I’m super lukewarm on the Rays starters now that they’re in this 4-man rotation, but I did write a Snell sleeper post in the preseason. Not much has changed since then, except for my dreams of a Night Court reunion. RIP Harry Anderson.
C.J. Cron – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer, hitting .232. Sonavabench! Trying to piece together offense, and then the only offense I get is on my freakin’ bench. *lays head on board, Steven Seagal smashes head with his widow’s peak* Thanks, Mr. Seagal.
Kevin Kiermaier – Out for up to 13 weeks with a torn ligament in his thumb. I haven’t been so upset about an MLB thumb injury since Bob Horner’s offseason thumb injury from a Christmas pie incident. Taking over for Kiermaier will be Johnny Field. Too bad Billy Batts was whacked.