Someone’s getting comped at the Tampa Airport Hooters!¬† Matt Garza threw the Rays first no-hitter yesterday.¬† He hypnotized the Tigers with the Garza Strip on his chin.¬† With all due respect to Ernie Harwell, the EH on the Tigers uniform could easily refer to the lineup without Ordonez and Guillen.¬† If there’s one guy you want to face with a no-hitter on the line, it’s Don Kelly…¬† And Gerald Laird… And Ramon Santiago. ¬† Garza always had nasty stuff but – even this year – you never know what you’re going to get with him.¬† He gave up 7 ER in 1 1/3 @ FLA.¬† He gave up 7 ERs in 6 IP against Baltimore.¬† His WHIP was 1.32 going into the game and he hasn’t had to face the Yanks yet.¬† So we love us some Garza, but this no-hitter doesn’t change his value.¬† Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dan Haren – Left the game after a comebacker meant for Joe Saunders hit his right forearm.¬† The Angels are saying it’s a contusion and he’ll be reexamined today.¬† It sounds like he’ll miss one start, at the worst.¬† Or wurst, if you’re German.
Jason Hammel – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks.¬† With a 3.18 home ERA in Coors and a near-6 ERA on the road, Hammel continues to be your fantasy team cup check.¬† Do you have the cojones to start him only at home when everything you’ve ever been taught tells you to avoid Coors?
Zack Greinke – 4 IP, 8 ER vs. the Twins was a start only Velma Dinkley (Greinkes!) could love.¬† Is he trying to make Brian Bannister look better?¬† I wonder if Greinke would pitch better if his team was in the heat of a pennant race instead of a race for the top draft pick.
Corey Hart – Hasn’t played since jamming his wrist on Friday night.¬† He might want to consider returning to only jamming on 80’s pop rock.
Rickie Weeks – 1-for-4 with his 21st homer.¬† In the last ten games, he has 6 homers in only 11 hits.¬† Well, someone had to step in for Hart.
Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Reds as everyone, except Jonny Gomes (3 hits) forgot they were facing Randy Wolf.¬† Maybe he confused them by wearing a sheep costume.¬† Just proof that if you can give up 10 less earned runs from your previous start, you’ve got a great chance at a win.
Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.¬† He wasn’t out pitched, guys and three girls.¬† He was out hustled!¬† That’s not true, he was out pitched.¬† But it was still a solid start for a guy with good historical 2nd half numbers.
Jimmy Rollins – Has a left foot contusion but the x-rays were negative, which is oddly a positive.¬† You figure that one out, call me!¬† He might miss a day or three to recover.¬† Oh, Jimmy, age isn’t being kind to you, is it?¬† Lucky you’re not Latin or you’d be 45 years old.
Brad Lidge – Is there a more exciting closer in the game than Brad Lidge?¬† You know how hard it is to give up 5 baserunners in an inning and still get a save?¬† That’s more baserunners than the kid in Rookie of the Year gave up after he lost his fastball.
Jacoby Ellsbury – Began his minor league assignment and should return in about a week or so.¬† Get him back in your lineups!¬† …In about a week or so.
David Ortiz – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.¬† He said he just imagined Tony Pena was pitching and boom!¬† Ortiz hit 4 homers in July with a .253 average.¬† In June, 6 homers and a .238 average.¬† Are you in love with the production or the name value?
Clay Buchholz – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.¬† Looks like he shook off the rust that plagued his last start.¬† BTW, I always find it weird how I don’t know the top five rankings for stats anymore.¬† For instance, Buchholz is ranked 2nd in the AL in ERA.¬† I feel like I used to know these things when I read an actual paper.
Adam Lind – 3-for-4 with his 14th homer.¬† Aaron Hill went 2-for-4 with his 14th homer.¬† Wait, I know this one!¬† The 2009 Blue Jays, right?¬† Great impression!¬† But why is 2009 Ben Zobrist on their team?¬† Oh, wait, that’s Jose Bautista.
Curtis Granderson – 2-for-3 with his 3rd homer in two days.¬† About flippin’ time.
Luke Scott – He took the momentum of appearing in Friday’s Buy/Sell and ran with it.¬† Now has 5 homers in the last week.¬† You know what to do.
Geovany Soto – Left the game after fouling a ball off his left foot.¬† Nobody likes to see that.¬† Except Piniella.¬† It’s Koyie Hill time!¬† Soto should be back by Wednesday.
Chris Johnson – 2-for-4 with a steal.¬† How did your short schedule pickup do yesterday?
Mike Stanton – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer.¬† I don’t know why I have this feeling, but I bet Bill James’ 2011 projections for Stanton are going to be Unabomber-crazy.¬† I’m guessing he puts him down for 36 homers and 12 steals.
Joe Mauer – The Twins went all Rebel Yell on the Royals, putting up 19 runs as the bench cried, “We want Mauer, Mauer, Mauer.”¬† Mauer’s 5-for-5, HR, 3 Runs, 7 RBI is a pretty good line.¬† Ten more of those games and his fantasy owners might not be dancing with themselves in last place.
Jim Thome – 0-for-3 as the Twins scored booku runs.¬† Ticker tease!
Danny Valencia – 4-for-4, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs, his first homer and a walk.¬† In 2009, Valencia hit only 7 homers in Triple-A in 282 plate appearances while walking 8 times.¬† So a home run is rare, a walk is even rarer (or raw, I guess).¬† Oddly enough, he has 8 walks vs. 10 Ks so far in 85 ABs for the Twins.¬† I’m guessing major league pitchers don’t know to not throw him a strike.¬† He’s 10 for his last 14 and crazy hot right now.¬† It won’t be a long term pickup, but I could see grabbing him in AL-Only and deep mixed leagues.
John Danks – Got his 11th win with an 8 IP, 7 baserunner, 2 K game that’s impressive until you see that it’s against the Mariners.¬† They only have one starter other than Ichiro with a batting average above .250 and it’s Jack Wilson (.256).¬† Where are you, Richie Zisk?
Matt Wieters – A 2 HR day!¬† The last time he flashed that much power was the entire month of June combined.¬† Someone is getting jealous at all of the Buster Posey love.¬† Vegas still has Ring Around The Buster Poseys as a 3-1 favorite for 2011 young catcher punned fantasy team names over Oscar Mayer Wieters, Oye Como Santana, You Don’t Bring Me Tyler Flowers or Jesus Montero Superstar.