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Let’s take a quick stroll down memory lane for what we’ve said about Ryan Zimmerman this season, “Out with a shoulder injury. Recovering from a wrist injury. We recommend that they just amputate the arm, put on a new one, and call him Ryan Zimmerhands,” “Being outslugged by Aaron Boone. Awesome!” “A man with a ’stache drafts Ryan Zimmerman and then drops him just after the draft — Just. To. Prove. A. Point. That’s what a man with a ’stache does.” Yesterday, Zimmerman hit his 1st homer since returning in July. That’s right, he has one home run since the All-Star break. He has nine homers on the year. With a three hole hitter like this, any wonder why the Nats are terrible? Zimmerman should’ve had surgery for this shoulder issue. The Nats should’ve forced it. Now they’re risking ’09. Really bad decision making on all parties involved. Probably wait to hear about offseason surgery or how he looks in spring training, but as of right now, I’m not a fan for ’09 either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jordan Schafer – To update my excitement from yesterday’s post where I mentioned Schafer. Baby’s black balloon deflates. Wren, Braves GM, says Schafer’s not being called up in September.

Johan Santana – Was he outdueled by Kyle Kendrick? C’mon, seriously?

Josh Hamilton – Out with an abscessed tooth. If he needs oral surgery, can he have painkillers? That’s a serious question. I’m curious.

Dan Wheeler – Picked up his fifth save in the last week and a half. Didn’t I say he was going to be the closer? Even when everyone was saying Balfour would get the saves? Whatever. I don’t understand how everyone can still listen to those schmohawks over at Yahoo when they say shizz like, “Carlos Gomez is not in the lineup according to the Twins.” These things are effin’ automated. No one’s behind the wheel of that jalopy of a fantasy site. Honestly, I’m still trying to figure out why people use Yahoo instead of ESPN. There will be more on this subject in the winter and going into the spring. I don’t like the ESPN fantasy ‘perts, but at least their player news makes sense. “Yahoo Fantasy News doesn’t make sense according to Yahoo Fantasy News.”

Juan Rivera – Got into the game at 2nd base. It was a fluky thing and he won’t see any more time there, but, if your league has one game elgibility, this could be huge.

Gio Gonzalez – 3 IP, 4 ER. Just doesn’t seem ready yet outside of matchups. Drizz-opped.

Josh Johnson – CG, 1 ER, 8 K. Been terrific since returning and I’ll be the first one to tell you I didn’t want any part of him this year. It’s fine, I was just erring on the side of caution. At this point, even I would pick him up. Of course, now I’ve just jinxed him.

Matt Harrison – 6 2/3 innings and 1 ER for the victory. He’s starting against the Mariners next week and I’m still not looking at him unless the league is, as the kids say, hella deep.

Pablo Sandoval – HR yesterday as he got the start at third base then was moved to 1st. Unfortunately, I went out and missed this game. Would’ve loved to see someone lay down a bunt and watch Bengie and Sandoval converge. Lincecum, “Nooooooo!!!”

Tim Lincecum – Speaking of “Nooooooo!!!” Member how people were worried Lincecum’s innings were piling up? Yesterday, Bochy Dustied Lincecum for 132 pitches.

Matt Garza – I spotted him in a ten team league and was rewarded. Will not start him next time out against the Yanks, then I’ll start him the next time out against the Jays. As Montell Jordan sang, “This is how we do it…”

Jensen LewisKazaam!

Luis Ayala – Well, it’s about freakin’ time! We officially have a Mets closer. (This will change by this weekend.)

Randy Johnson – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks. In a ten team league, he’s more than replaced Maine. I don’t think Pedro’s going to be pitching this well, or at all at the age of 44. It’s probably unfair to say that because of their body types are so completely different, but why do I have to be fair? Who said, “Grey, be fair.”  I’m not cutting up cake to share with my sister while she screams, “Mom, Grey’s not being fair!” No, that’s not what’s going on at all. In fact, I don’t have a sister. Geez.

Kelly Shoppach – 17th HR yesterday. Victor Martinez is in the minors. Waking comatose Indians fan, “Huh? Shoppach what?”

Blake DeWitt – Recalled from Vegas and will cut into Casey Blake’s time against right-handers. According to Elias Sports Bureau, this is the first time in the history of baseball that a player by the first name of Blake will be platooning with a player by the last name of Blake. Actually, they never said that, to my knowledge, but they could have. Here’s some more things Elias Sports Bureau could have said yesterday, “For the third time since ’98, Leandro couldn’t fix the soft drink machine,” “For the fifth time since Monday, Gus has attempted to flirt with Rachel and she’s taken it as him being friendly,” and “For the first time ever, Bob, in Accounting, died.”

22 Responses

  1. Doug Ault says:
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    Maybe Josh can transfer his dental agony into a tantric-like hr streak,……………..triple eh just called Nelson Cruz and reminded him he wasn’t still there,party poopers

  2. knighttown says:
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    Tatis has been tolled he will be in a three-way (and not the good kind) platoon and Ryan Church has been given his full time spot back. Drop Fernando for Church or do I pick Rivera back up now that he’s a utility player.

  3. knighttown says:
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    edit: forget Rivera, TSN does not have him listed at 2B in our league, so Tatis, Church or Rivera straight up as OF.

  4. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    This may have been commented elsewhere, but apparently Fuentes was put on waivers to investigate his trade value…. if he gets traded, he’ll undoubtedly be a set-up guy. Stay tuned.

  5. Nick says:
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    So right now I’m getting crazy amounts of saves with Hoffman, B. Wilson & Torres but Gonzalez hardly ever gets saves…I’m about 14 saves from 2nd and 30 saves from first…do you drop Gonzalez for someone like Ayala or am I being to greedy ?

  6. knighttown says:
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    Sorry, one final update for the above post. From the scrap heap, add Konerko, Gerut and Ross.

    So in the end, rank the three above, Tatis, Chruch and Rivera. Runs>Avg>SB>RBI>HR in my list of needs.

  7. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Nick: Ayala’s not going to close a 14 save gap by himself. If you really want to make a run you have to keep both and jettison someone else. But why, really? It’s only one point. If you’re secure where you are in that category, look to improve elsewhere.

    @knighttown: None of those guys are regulars right now. What about Chris Dickerson, Adam Lind, Nelson Cruz, et al? I’d stay away from platoons at this point in the season. Of the added players, take Ross for now, but keep your finger over the Drop button.

  8. martin says:
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    kouz or dickerson

  9. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Doug Ault: I think Hideki Matsui might want to try some of that tantric HR streaking that you talk about.

    @knighttown: Gerut, Konerko or Ross, but what about the names the Baron threw out there?

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I mentioned it in yesterday’s post. I think save vultures should grab Corpas because of it.

    @Nick: If you drop him for Ayala then Ayala will lose the job tomorrow and Gonzalez will get 3 saves this weekend. If you want to pickup Ayala, I would, but not at the expense of another closer.

    @martin: Dickerson

  10. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey:

    Sandshovel or Iannetta from here on out?

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I’m taking the flier on Sandshovel.

  12. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey:

    Think I will too.

    Too bad about Bob in accounting.

  13. Dumbmutt says:
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    Who would you want for Sept. H2H Lester or Kuroda Overall numbers

    Kuroda has been pitching good and has ARI @SD @PIT SF SD

    Lester BAL @TB TOR @TOR CLE he has good numbers against BAL & TB, TOR had last game horrid & CLE is so-so..

    I have Lester but I am thinking of picking up Kuroda instead.

  14. Shogun says:
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    I might be asking this question two months too late, but can I safely cut bait with Verlander and go with someone who might actually give me consistent numbers the rest of the season? I’ve been holding Verlander, thinking that he would snap out of his funk (he did have that nice run in July), but I can’t see him turning things around at this point.

    Garza is a free agent, and Cain is on waivers. Would you swap out Verlander for either of them?

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Dumbmutt: I’d stick with Lester.

    @Shogun: Go with Cain then Garza versus the Blue Jays for his start after his next.

  16. Dumbmutt says:
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    I was going to ask that same question. Just dropped Verlander. He has some bad matchups and at least one with the Whitesox. I couldn’t handle the ride anymore. I would think Cain but I’m usually the one asking questions!

  17. Shogun says:
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    @Grey & Dumbmutt: Thanks. Put in my claim for Cain.

  18. Nick says:
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    Guthrie & E. Santana going tomorrow. Who do you start ? I’m at +16.2IP today but nobody is pitching today.

    Also, when would you start to worry about IP and not running out till the last day of the season…

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: I’d start Ervin and sit Guthrie. As far as IP goes, I’d just watch every single start you make and be prepared to sit some guys if the matchup isn’t right.

  20. knighttown says:
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    @Grey:
    @ Baron

    It’s a tough league. I’ve already got Dickerson and Cruz and Lind, as a Jay is long gone…Canada you see…even Joe Inglett was on a team for awhile. That crap I showed is all there is left. No Mike Cameron or any of the other guys that often slip through. For now, I dropped Tatis and grabbed Konerko but would you guys grab Gerut or Ross or Church instead. HR’s don’t matter to me.

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @knighttown: Ross, if HRs don’t matter to you, but I’d bail on him at the first sign of a struggle or if the Marlins call up Maybin.

  22. Grey

    Grey says:
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    *****TAKE FOLLOWUPS TO THE NEWEST POST

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