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We’re gonna try something different today.  We’re not going to talk about a lot of extraneous shizz.  We’re gonna talk about Yordano Ventura.  We’re not going to talk about Ruben Studdard on The Biggest Loser and how his rolls have rolls while wishing he had a Rolls.  We’re not going to talk about the newest season of The Voice and how Christina’s coaching style is to sing the songs better than the singtestants, how Blake and C. Lo can’t sing worth a lick and how Adam just purses his lips like Zoolander.  We’re not going to talk about the new Drake album and how I’ve listened to it on repeat for the last three weeks.  The Language is my jammie jam!  No, we’re not going to talk about any of that.  We’re especially not gonna talk about how I’m getting married tomorrow.  HOLY EFFIN EFF ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT!  Can we never talk about that?  Is it too late to run off to Miami and be with Giancarlo forever and ever amen?  We’re not gonna talk about any of that.  We’re going to talk about Yordano Ventura or YoVe, which sounds like a black Jew kvetching.  “Do you have to throw the no-look pass so hard?  YoVe!”  Did you know Sammy Davis Jr.’s favorite expression was YoVe?  Of course, you didn’t know that because I just made it up.  So, with all of that said about Yordano Ventura, what can we expect from him for 2014 fantasy baseball?

Check out these K-rates from Ventura in the minor leagues:  9.91, 9.39, 11.55, 11.55 and 9.47.  That’s every year’s K-rate where he had more than 50 IP pitched.  Those are eye popping like John Lithgow in The Twilight Zone Movie.  I want to sit by a campfire with those K-rates and let them search for firewood on my lap.  His walk rates weren’t egregious either.  Not elite, not bad.  On average around a 3.50.  A 9+ K/9 and a 3.50 BB/9 works.  He reminds me of Pedro Martinez, which is a huge compliment.  Yordano weighs about a buck-forty and he can hit 100 MPH on the speed gun.  His stuff is elite.  He could be a lights out closer or starter.  For now, the Royals think he’ll work as a starter and so far he hasn’t disproved them.  If he moves into middle relief, he can be a top MR, but loses a lot of his value because Holland’s got the ninth locked down like it’s a clog factory.  There’s a good chance Ventura breaks camp in the rotation, but he’s the first one out if the Royals trade for someone this offseason.  Either way, he shouldn’t be down in the minors past mid-June.  In 2014, I’ll give him the line of 7-7/3.92/1.35/90 in 100 IP, but there’s a chance here for much more.  His rotation opportunity will play a role in what we can expect.  If he breaks camp in the rotation, he’ll be worth looking at in all leagues for a late-round flyer.

From Around The Web

  1. Sky

    Sky says:
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    YOU CAN DEW EET!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Sky: Hehe… Thanks for your encouragement!

  2. J-FOH says:
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    I’m in a bar right now and a guy is dressed as easy e in black face

    • chunk says:
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      @J-FOH: If he’s already black then it’s ok

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @chunk: it’s art if you get the lips really big.

    • El Famous Burrito says:
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      @J-FOH:

      Are you sure its not a C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man tribute?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @J-FOH: Damn, that was me last year… Ah, how times have changed…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: trendsetter

  3. bossmanjunior says:
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    O/U 10% chance Giancarlos is behind the veil when Grey pulls it back

  4. J-FOH says:
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    Choose your battles, make her think she won the war and pick fights to get make up sex….is this what were suppose to talk about?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @J-FOH: I hear it’s all about compromise… Since I’m an only child, this could be a problem…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: sounds like a four lettered word for an only child….I never knew you were an only child. This explains so much

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          It really does…

  5. anthony says:
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    @Grey: congrats and have fun at your wedding dude ! here’s wishing you a happy successful marriage !!

  6. Dkohn says:
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    Good luck tomorrow and congratulations!

    Key to a successful wedding is tequila shots. Key to a successful marriage…let me know if you figure it out.

    Ya growns up, and ya growns up, and ya growns up!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Dkohn: Ha! Thanks!

  7. The Strolg says:
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    Yeah, being married is like owning Cargo, one minute it’s all slam and legs and the next…oh I guess I’ll let you find that out!

  8. El Famous Burrito says:
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    @Grey

    The good part is you can finally let yourself go.

    Its all sweatpants and Bon-Bons from here on out.

  9. shibboleth says:
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    What is the sound of cougar hearts everywhere breaking in two? Best wishes to you and the Mrs!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @shibboleth: I’m sorry to the cougars who lost out on my prime meat… Thanks!

  10. yeshcheese says:
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    Congrats Fantasy Master Lothario Grey Albright!

  11. willy says:
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    3 rings in marriage…

    1. engagement ring
    2. wedding ring
    3. suffer-ring

    Good luck! Ha!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @willy: Ha…Terrific!

      • Hondo says:
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        @Grey: This might be bad,but if her cougarishness still allows allows her to menstruate,you can avoid the afterwards shower by utilizing the brown ring.

        OK-was that too far?

        I hope she doesn’t read Razzball.

        • Hondo says:
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          @Hondo: Yeah,that might have been too far.Give her some of the daiquiris I sent you like right now,then she’ll maybe she’ll pass out and miss todays comments.

          In all seriousness,I wish you both a happy ,wonderful future.

          Congrats dude.

          • Hondo says:
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            @Hondo: You’re going to tell me to draft Adam Dunn and Edinson Volquez now ,aren’t you?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You think she’d marry me of she knew about Razzball?

          • Chin Music says:
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            Then it looks like it’s back to 4 girls who read this column.

            Hope it was a great wedding weekend!

  12. Spike Owen says:
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    Best of luck Grey and (Mrs. Grey) – I’ll watch the police activity logs to tell when your reception shuts down…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha… Thanks!

  13. JustMatt says:
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    Can it be that on this triumphantly mustachioed website I am the first to wish you all a Happy Movember?!?!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, what’s up with people?! It’s our month!

  14. Big AL says:
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    I heard Giancarlo is giving the bride away and stepping in to save your ass like 007. Dusty is driving the get away car and you wind up at Kate Upton’s place since she chucked Verlander out and ruined his season and mine. Than I woke up………. Why do I feel bitter ? Save this dream for the wedding night. My gift to you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha

    • Prez says:
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      @Gareth: you are married? They let humans and cats get married where youre from?

      • Gareth says:
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        @Prez: Hey, I get lots of Pussy……………..

        • Prez says:
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          @Gareth: meowwww!

  15. Prez says:
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    Put some socks on grey! I heard some people get cold feet at this point…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      My feet are sunburned… Damn Palm Springs weather…

      • Prez says:
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        @Grey: im all for palm springs weather! But congrats man.. Hope everything goes smoothly for ya. Just Like Giancaro’s thighs…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Thanks, man!

  16. Gareth says:
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    Prez,

    If I get mocked for my Kitty picture, I have to mention your “Gangnam Style” Avatar.
    Really Bro? That Shizz was SOOO Last year.
    At least change it to a FOX or something………………………..

    • Prez says:
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      @Gareth: haha gangnam never dies at razzball!

  17. Devil in a New Dress says:
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    Congrats buddy.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  18. Gareth says:
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    just read a really interesting article on Fangraphs about the influx of TV Money (a cool 25 mil for each team) and each teams payroll commitments for 2014.

    It charts payroll obligations from 2012 – 2014, and there are some real eye opening trends.

    For example:

    The Lower end of the scale (which even casual fans are aware of):

    Astro’s went from 60 to 26 to 14.
    14 million!

    Marlins went from 100 to 50 to 21.
    Well played Loria. They just announced He is to star in the new live action TV SHOW “Duck Tales” on the Disney Channel.

    Some Dark Horse Large Market teams primed to make a splash:

    Cubs went from 109 to 106 to 58.
    Wiggle room.

    Mets went from 94 to 93 to 62.
    Bye Johan! Don’t let the door kick you on the way out.

    Mariners went from 84 to 84 to 37.
    Origato!

    Then there is the throw up in my mouth “OH THE INJUSTICE OF IT ALL” payroll:

    Dodgers went from 105 to 216 to 195 and counting……………

    Finally, this is the scariest realization of all that I garnered from this Article: The case of the THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS.

    All that young talent. Perennial World series contenders.

    Went from 111 to 116 to 76.

    WOW.

    A 40 million decrease in payroll coupled with a 25 million influx of cash for 2014. Add to that all the in season attendance sellouts PLUS money garnered from every Post season game played PLUS all the team merchandise sold in 2013 (Who wants a Wacha/Adams/Carpenter Jersey? Lots of people that’s who.)

    That’s just scary.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Gareth: we (STL) should trash heap jay/freese, move carpenter to third again, let wong learn (only dead hitting spot for now, if so), get ellsbury AND andrus (will have to give up one of our super pitchers for him), lock them up for a long time, beltran’s leaving anyway (wants a lot of years and likely to DH to insure he can play during those years), put taveras/craig in RF with adams/craig at 1st (adams never has to play against lefty), trade Lynn for anything valuable (maybe some more picks?) and there we go.

  19. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    12 team dynasty league my friend is using my love of the Twins against me and traded for Buxton (he got him for Verlander but I offered Segura, I personally think I offered more since the guy who traded Buxton is totally in rebuild mode). He offered me Buxton, Hanley, and Cueto for Trout and I laughed at him, then he offered Hanley, Buxton and Bumgarner for Trout and I laughed again. I’m doing the right thing right? The Bumgarner one is tempting but I’m not in rebuild mode as my keepers will be Trout, Cutch, Goldy, Segura and a pitcher (maybe Moore but not sure) and I also have a strong minor league squad. I’m just making sure I’m passing on a bad trade. Thanks.

    • TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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      @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist: Also, congrats on the wedding, didn’t see that at first.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, keep laughing at him…

  20. Hal Incandenza says:
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    Congratulations on the nuptials. Do you and the cougs have plans for cubs? No, not the Chicago Cubs, the kind of cubs that cost an arm and a leg and sass back. Wait a second. . . oh, you know what I mean. Best of luck!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! You marry a Cougar so kids aren’t an issue…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: even in junior high (at first actually) I remember thinking how cool it would be to somehow cause early menopause, or only be with girls with messed up ovaries or other internal organ trouble not allowing for pregnancies; but that didn’t mess with their sex drives.

  21. Big Papa says:
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    Congrats to you & your cougar- hopefully she’s into fantasy too & you will both live happily ever after

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  22. slew says:
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    A woman makes a man complete. After the wedding he is finished.
    Congratulations, though.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… Thanks!

  23. Wake Up says:
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    Still picking me up at the airport?…you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had here…

    • J-FOH

      J-FOH says:
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      @Wake Up: hahahaha

    • Prez says:
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      @Wake Up: HA!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I sent a car…

  24. Gregorious Chant says:
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    It’s the magic day here in Indiana best of luck Grey! congratulations don’t forget to look around and take everything in!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  25. J-FOH says:
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    Is this a bad time to discuss the keeper potential of Puig in a 12 team 4 kept with 4 year limit?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Who’s Puig? I got married and forgot everything I knew prior…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: oh great, you married a succubus….don’t shave your stash and rent Momento

        • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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          @J-FOH: that movie rules.

  26. MattTruss223 says:
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    Best wishes today man! Enjoy it, congrats.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  27. Big Papa says:
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    Last of ninth 2 outs 2 strikes end of bachelorhood almost over fast Ball down the aisle strike 3 & on to the playoffs together

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  28. DrEasy says:
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    Congrats to Grey & Cougar Albright!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks!

  29. Terrence Mann says:
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    Dirty Grey, dirty. I went to challenge at wwf and no Grey. If I don’t get an unexpected challenge from a Jew in Delaware, I’ll be disappointed.

    • Wake Up says:
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      @Terrence Mann: “If I don’t get an unexpected challenge from a Jew in Delaware, I’ll be disappointed.”

      pretty sure that’s Maryland’s state motto…

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Wake Up: hobag, good stuff right there.

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