In the last few days, a dark cloud moved over Razzball. Rudy just traded for Weeks, Wainwright hit the DL and I had to sit through Sex and the City, the Movie. Hopefully, my masculinity returns before Weeks. Does anyone remember Weeks coming back quickly from injury? Ever? Okay, Rickie Weeks, Rocco Baldelli and Chipper Jones get onto your cross country flight, do you get off? It’s like Weeks should be on the 15-day Activated List, then when he’s injured he’s taken off the Activated list. Makes more sense to me. Less paperwork. I can’t imagine he returns before the All-Star Break. There’s always the Alex(e)i Twins. I’ll mention someone later that I think you should look at, too. (Hint: His Dad has Ernie Whitt’s phone number.) As for Wainwright, I really hope this is just a matter of him missing three starts then returning fine. My gut says that might not be the case. At least, I hope that’s my gut. It’s either a hairy bellybutton or I’ve grown a vagina from seeing SATC. Mercy me, I abbreviated it SATC! Oh my God, I said mercy me. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday:
Ryan Zimmerman – Says he thinks he can play through his shoulder tear. I think he says this all the way up to next April, then he reinjures it next year and finds himself having surgery that has him out until 2010. Ryan, “I’m completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfect!”
Jerry Hairston – Fractured thumb, will be out at least a month. Time to make other MI plans. (Or IM snalp, if you’re dyslexic. We care here at Razzball!)
Ken Griffey Jr. – 600th! I was kinda surprised the Reds didn’t trade Griffey as he was taking the field after he hit the home run. I guess they want to dedicate a street to him back in Cincy first, then trade him next week to the AL.
Jay Bruce – He’s showing that penchant for striking out (7 times in last three games) that everyone (maybe just me) tried to warn you about.
Edinson Volquez – Jose aka Edison aka Edinson was very wild again and only effectively so because it was the Marlins. He does have a certain swagger to him that I do appreciate. Now if only he would grow a mustache.
Josh Barfield – Was just called back up to replace Asdrubal (BTW, WebMD has good information for you, if you suffer from Asdrubal). If you lost Hairston or Weeks, Barfield is worth a flier. At future family functions, Jesse may not have to keep making up excuses for what Josh has been up to since last year. “Yeah, well, he’s thinking about going back to school. This place called…. University of Phoenix.”
Matt Holliday – Has torn up pitching in his minor league rehab. Get him in there immediately.
Mike Mussina – He could pitch back to back Vander Meer’s and I wouldn’t pick him up.
Mariano Rivera – Mo Knows Nothing, Mo Better Get Better, Mo Blues, Mo Better Meaty Meat Burger, Mo Losses Than Royals… Sorry, I was just trying to figure out tomorrow’s NY Post headline.
Matt Cain – I forget if I’ve put anyone in Cain as a Buy Low, but I will. I like him a lot and have been waiting for signs. I think yesterday was a sign.
Joe Saunders – Joe Meet Correction. Correction, you know Joe.