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Like Macy Gray (you read that right), I try to say goodbye and I choke (pull a Hosmer?) because my world crumbles when Adam LaRoche is not near. Let’s face it, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Adam has been radioactive to the point where he’s probably caused a meltdown for his owners. Before you start singing, “We are never ever getting back together,” please take a deep breath and save that song for Hosmer. Yes, LaRoche has been awfully quiet, but I’m not willing to disregard his years of consistency after one month. People are dropping him, yo! I expect him to produce near his career average line of .266/.336/.479 for the rest of the season. He’s definitely a buy low (free?) guy. Now you can exhale. Anyway, here are some other players who put the bomp in OPS leagues:

Nate Schierholtz – He’s worth picking up and is available in most leagues. If you don’t see him, try spelling his name again. And again… just to make sure. There’s no reason why he can’t produce an .800+ OPS for the rest of 2013. He’s better in daily leagues where you can bench him against lefties, like the Cubs generally do.

Eric Hosmer – I’ll admit that I’ve never really been a fan of his, but I’m done expecting anything from Hosmer. Unlike Rihanna, I’m not going back to my abuser. To be fair, he will still be useful in deep leagues, but I think his 2011 numbers could be his ceiling for the next couple years. Sorry Royals fans!

Aramis Ramirez – He usually doesn’t heat up until the weather does, so maybe it’s best that he had a siesta on the disabled list. I would absolutely inquire to see whether his current owner might be willing to sell low due to concern about him being injured. A couple months ago, I thought he’d post a .290/.360/.500 line and I’ll stick with that.

Dan Uggla – At the end of 2012 I said, “His .220/.348/.384 line seemed worse than it already was. His OBP was fine, but his slugging was non-existent. I’d like to think that he could regain form, but I’m leery of trusting him because his contact rate was a career-low and his strikeout rate was much higher than it’s been in years. He’s now had two relatively down years in a row, so I’m starting to think that his baseline may be .750 OPS instead of the .825 OPS that it had been previously.” Unfortunately, this year his contact rate is even lower and strikeout rate higher. It’s looking like a .750 OPS could be his ceiling instead of his baseline.

Victor Martinez – I don’t see any red flags and I’m willing to give the old guy a pass for the first month. He probably won’t have a batting average over .300 this year, but I’m expecting him to approach an .800 OPS.

Adrian Beltre – What’s the square root of 3,500? Take what I said about Victor Frankencatcher and add that number to the OPS and you have a great third baseman. Now look three players up. No, I’m not telling you to grab your Bill James Bible – look at what I said about Aramis. Am I saying that I expect roughly the same production from Beltre as Ramirez for the rest of 2013? Bingo, Sir.