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As always, probable pitchers are subject to change.  For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Two-Startapalooza’s back, beoches!

Man, I gotta tell yunz, I had a superly-dooperly extended break, and all ya’ll who know me know that there is not one hint of sarcasm in that statement. There were some lessons learned, particularly on the baseball front, although almost none of those items involved fantasy baseball since there was no fantasy baseball. We learned that Major League players love Derek Jeter so much that they’re willing to sully their good name by not only grooving him pitches in the All-Star Game and but also admitting it and then awkwardly and unsuccessfully backtracking. We learned that the Guru had a Derek Jeter Retirement Barf Bag – I bought five, by the way. Thanks Guru! We learned that another Derek, Derek Holland, is the grand Puba of not one but two fart games played in the Rangers bullpen, Pink Eye and Fart Bottle Roulette (nevermind the fact that Holland has been injured all year). We learned that baseball doesn’t give a crap about one Anthony Keith Gwynn Sr.

I for one learned that Mets pitcher Jacob deGrom gets recognized around New York for his fantastic early 1990s mullet and that he is not one bit ashamed of it. I discovered this in a great New York Times piece on deGrom that I read when trying to decide if I should stream him or hang onto him. Well, the fact that deGrom is a proud business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back kind of guy was just enough to make me sacrifice to keep him. That and the fact that he was mowing down dudes heading into the All-Star break. Over his last three games, he whiffed 27 and only walked four. Two of those were fairly dominant performances. If there was ever a time to scoop up Zane Smith’s more attractive clone (this is not saying much, as old-schoolers well know), it’s right now. deGrom is slated for a two-start week, including one in Safeco.

Here’s some more two-start guys for next week. Oh and tip of the cap to Sky, who did an amazing job filling in at Two-Startapalooza. During his stay he introduced some cool new ideas I might run with but also left behind a whole lot of some kind of sticky substance. Thanks Sky! I think?

Must Start

Chris Sale (KC, @MIN), Adam Wainwright (TB, @CHC)

Since we’re starting fresh, let’s reset what these tiers mean. This one is obvious. Sale is coming off a gillion days rest, so he’s a no-brainer. Wainwright would be money, but it’s possible Carlos Martinez takes his second start. The cagey Mike Matheny will do his best Tony La Russa impersonation and not divulge anything except for what’s right in front of us. Even still, it’s worth the risk to wager on Wainwright getting the two-fer.

First Tier

Julio Teheran (MIA, SD), Cliff Lee (SF, ARI), Scott Kazmir (HOU, @TEX), Hyun-Jin Ryu (@PIT, @SF), Mat Latos (@MIL, WSH)

This is the Start With Confidence tier. There’s a small chance one of these guys verps and a little puke dribbles out, but it’s not even worth worrying about. Or is it? It’s not. I was just kidding (Or was I? I was. I’ll stop now). If these guys screw up, it’s on me. So … Other than Adrian Beltre is there any reason to fear Kazmir’s Texas tango? On the flip side, those matchups for Julio are yumm-o, but his second-to-last pre-break start in Citi Field was a head scratcher. Lee is coming off injury, but he’s a gamer and wants to win, so I see him returning strong in an effort to a) get traded to a contender or b) earn his $30 million per year contract. Also: Homer Bailey might take Latos’ second start. Stay tuned.

Second Tier

John Lackey (@TOR, @TB), Jacob deGrom (@SEA, @MIL), Mike Minor (MIA, SD), Jake Odorizzi (@STL, BOS), Rick Porcello (@ARI, @LAA), Justin Verlander (@ARI, @LAA), Tanner Roark (@COL, @CIN), Jonathon Niese (@SEA, @MIL)

The Go Ahead and Start But Don’t Blame Me tier. These dudes have either been very good lately or in the recent past. But you know there’s a chance one of them does number two in his pants, and I know there’s a chance one of them does number two in his pants, so let’s not point fingers if, say, Verlander squats and does his thing on the mound in Anaheim.

Third Tier

Matt Cain (@PHI, LAD), Drew Hutchison (BOS, @NYY), Collin McHugh (@OAK, MIA), Wily Peralta (CIN, NYM), Taijuan Walker (NYM, BAL), Ryan Vogelsong (@PHI, LAD), Shane Greene (TEX, TOR), Tom Koehler (@ATL, @HOU), Danny Salazar (@MIN, @KC), Jeremy Guthrie (@CSW, CLE), Bud Norris (@LAA, @SEA), Matt Shoemaker (BAL, DET), Roenis Elias (NYM, BAL), Miguel Gonzalez (@LAA, @SEA), Hector Santiago (BAL, DET)

The Worth The Risk tier. Either the player has bounce-back potential, or good matchups, or he seems to have the invisible touch – eh! Note: Salazar could just be getting one start, but what if he returns to his old dominant self in Minny? Why would the Tribe not keep him around? Also, don’t really know for certain what’s going on with Walker, but I’m putting him in here. And: Either Shoemaker or Santiago might not be in here, as C.J. Wilson could come back from injury and take one of their starts.

Fourth Tier

Edinson Volquez (LAD, @COL), J.A. Happ (BOS, @NYY), Jake Peavy (@TOR, @TB), Roberto Hernandez (SF, ARI), T.J. House (@MIN, @KC), Bruce Chen (@CWS, CLE), Scott Carroll (KC, @MIN), Vidal Nuno (DET, @PHI)

The Got Nuts? tier, or maybe the Desperado tier. You’re back in your deep-league points standings, or significantly behind in your weekly matchup, and you need to throw guys out there and hope for the best. I have to come clean: I consistently devalue Happ because a) he sucked 15 years ago when he was in Philly yet somehow still has a job and b) he looks like that d-bag guy in Blink 182. No, not that d-bag, this d-bag.

Don’t Start

Eric Stults (@CHC, @ATL), Kris Johnson (CLE, CWS), Franklin Morales (WSH, PIT), Miles Mikolas (@NYY, OAK), Yohan Pino (CLE, CWS), Scott Baker (@NYY, OAK)

You know what to do here. But I just thought I’d point out that Johnson looks like the white male version of the short-haired library chick on “Orange Is The New Black.”

From Around The Web

  1. Harry says:
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    I saw someone post a quick calc the other day that they used to decide which pitchers to roster… It think it was either k/9 : k/bb or subtracting the two. And I feel like the magic number was 6. I’d love to work it out on some of these pitchers. Anyone know what I’m talking about? Save me from the scrolling!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      It was me… Difference between K/9 and BB/9 is six and the starter is ownable and startable in every league… Bigger difference, better the pitcher… So a 10 K/9, 2 BB/9 (difference 8) is an ace and a 6 K/9, 3 BB/9 (difference 3) is not safe and need to look at matchups…

      • Pete Nice

        Pete Nice says:
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        @Grey: @Harry: yea it’s a great measure of competence that I’ve cited here before and of course credited to Professor Alright.

  2. Harry says:
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    Nice… My equation was making no sense. It was driving me nuts. Thanks for the rehash!

  3. Buge hoobs says:
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    Hey guys,
    Been out in the woods with no wifi for a little more than two weeks … In my weekly 12 team 5×5 I Came back tied for 4th. Is eovaldi still ownable? I have no idea who the latest hot schmatatos are … Drop eov for Miley, miller, archer, wood, keuchel ?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Buge hoobs: na Eov is garbage. Guys I like right now are Hahn, Stroman, deGrom…

      • Buge hoobs says:
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        @Pete Nice: Miley looks good on son though

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
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          @Buge hoobs: I’m not a Miley fan.

  4. BitchesBeShoppach says:
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    I realize this isn’t a pitching question, but who do you like ROS between yelich, Blackmon and jd Martinez?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @BitchesBeShoppach: Personally I like Blackmon, JD, Yelich in that order

      • BitchesBeShoppach says:
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        Great, I was thinking Blackmon too. Thanks again, always enjoy reading your column.

  5. my sisters friend boyfriend says:
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    Hahn and Fister dont have 2 starts this week?

    • can't fight fate says:
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      Hahn is only starting on Friday due to being in Triple A, but Fister starts Monday, not sure why he was omitted.

  6. my sisters friend boyfriend says:
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    Hahn, Gee, Cobb, Alvarez, Gausman, Roark, Wood, Beckett….which 6 would you want on a 10 team standard points league?

  7. Pete – I love this website but if I win my league, it will be in large part thanks to this column. Thank you sir! Also I Lol’d about Verlander.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @WNWDOTCOM: Thank you sir. The Two-Startapalooza was here long before me – it’s a great tool developed by the early dwellers of Razzball. Think a Grey hunched over in a cave with a real long beard to go with that stache.

  8. J Boy says:
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    Is there any point I’m stashing Straily? He’s been pretty shaky at Iowa, can’t see him coming up ans being productive anytime soon – what are your thoughts?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @J Boy: I think there’s probably better options out there. Unless you’re cruising, which in that case why not?

  9. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    Great read my man, dropped Hahn for DeGrom even though I love Hahn. He started a game in AA then isn’t starting till next friday wtf is that? I also picked up Bauer for last night’s game, ballsy I know, but it sure worked out. What do you think of Bauer? I’m gonna hang onto him to see what he can do vs. the Twins, do you think he’s turned a corner? He’s been decent-good lately. thanks.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist: I think I still like Hahn better than Bauer, although both could be held to some kind of namby pamby innings count by the end of the year. Bauer is still giving up hits. But he’s getting K’s and not walking a lot. Good add.

  10. I Be Teheran It Up! says:
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    Wuddup Pete, good insight man, but Im thinkin WTF is up with TaiYAWN Walker? Hasnt really impressed me (or his manager) at AAA or in the majors lately. And I have to drop a pitcher to activate The Adverb. I have Wheeler, Stroman, Duffy, A. Wood, Gausman, E. Santana, and Walker as potential drop candidates, any thoughts

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @I Be Teheran It Up!: You’re right – Walker is the dude to cut here.

  11. I Be Teheran It Up! says:
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    Thanks bro

  12. Curt says:
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    What about Jimmy Nelson???…….home to Cincy, then home vs. The Metropolitans……

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Curt: it lines up for that to happen but it’s possible he goes back down, especially if he gets smoked again Tuesday.

  13. The 12th Man says:
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    Took your advice on Degrom!
    Now, who would you rather have in a points league in your outfield?

    Werth
    Zimmerman
    Or
    J. Upton

    Thanks!

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @The 12th Man: Upton, but only because Werth is always an injury risk.

  14. OT says:
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    which two would you start out of:
    Porcello @ARI @LAA
    Chavez v. HOU
    Cliff Lee v. SF v. ARI
    Ian Kennedy @CHC

    not in need of K’s, but I am looking for wins and era/whip

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @OT: probably Lee and Porcello

  15. Mike says:
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    Hi Pete,

    Is Doug Fister a two start guy this week? My mind is melting if he is in the lists above.

    If he is, which list does he fall in?

    Thanks…

    Mike.

    • Mike says:
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      @Mike: I meant – if he is NOT in the lists above …

      With the @COL, I am a little worried.

      Thanks!

      Mike.

      • Pete Nice

        Pete Nice says:
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        @Mike: yea man I goofed, Fister should be where Roark is. For all intents and purposes you can just pretend it says Fister there

  16. J says:
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    Does Victorino have any upside in a deep 12teamer.

    Drop Pearce or Alcantara for him?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @J: alcantara for Vic

  17. Leifer maddness says:
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    whos the better pick up danny salazar or shane greene? best start for this week and ros? thanks

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @Leifer maddness: if I was fighting for my life and trying to win matchups (assuming you’re in H2H) I would go Greene for this week. As a stash for upside I would go Salazar.

  18. 1nil says:
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    Trumbo the Elephant available in my H2H points league. Tore the cover off in rehab but hasn’t done jack squat so far in the bigs. Dump Teixera for him to prep for the playoffs? I’ve already clinched a spot.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
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      @1nil: doesn’t Trumbo have OF too, or do you have a UTL or a INF slot? why does it have to be one or the other? put a gun to my head and I’ll take Trumbo but Tex has been solid.

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