Did you ever get flustered to the point where you never know what to say. Well that’s where I am currently. Fantasy baseball is tertiary right now; yea it’s on a a whole third level of importance as I type this. I am rushing around doing 101 things that have nothing to do with Dalmatians or Cruella DeVil’s stupid dalmatian coat. So it’s June already, Jesus Montero I am getting old. The season pours on like a really catchy band that has 7 arms and doesn’t suck completely. Lots of usable options this week depending on your size, and we aren’t here to brag about size because that is unbecoming of a fantasy officer. Wow, I can really ramble when the door is open and you have to run out for a bachelor party weekend. Enjoy the week to come and good luck. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and match-ups change)
One start Streamers:
A.J Burnett @ Cin – Cueto
Felipe Paulino vs Min – Pavano
Casey Crosby vs Cle – Lowe
Mike Leake vs Pit – Correia
Nate Eovaldi @ Sea – Noesi
Two Start Options:
Joe Blanton (LAD vs Kershaw,@Bal vs Britton) Looks better because of the extra start, prolly been added and dropped 3-4 times already this year. Will probably go 1-1 with a 4.50 ERA. Typical top of the waiver wire type guy that gets peeps frustrated.
Scott Feldman (@Oak vs Parker, @SF vs Vogelsong) Does this guy sound like an accountant or is it just me. Too bad HR Block or that Hewitt Jackson guy doesn’t go twice this week; it would be like a jam session at the auditing fantasy league.
Christian Friedrich (@Ari vs Saunders, LAA vs Richards) Just a heads up, don’t listen to Phil Collins while trying to write fantasy baseball. All I want to write about is the girl that got away. Sorry Christian, it just happened when I got to you.
Eric Stults (SF vs Lincecum, @Mil vs Gallardo) Even a blind Laura Dern is going to shy away from this guy, even if his name isn’t Rocky or Dennis. Who else can say they have one day of work in San Diego and then go to Milwaukee to do some Yoga.
Homer Bailey (Pit vs Morton, Det vs Smyly) So apparently he is hot right now, he is like the Hansel of this week’s two start options. All we need is Billy Zane to call the winning home run, “it’s a walk off.”
Joe Saunders (Col vs Friedrich, Oak vs Ross) See what I wrote for Joe Blanton, well read it backwards as he is left handed. Ignore the subliminal messages that are embedded in it, except the one about getting fried chicken cause I want some.
Garrett Richards (Sea vs Vargas, @Col vs Friedrich) Would be nice if he didn’t get to see the Rockies, but they are a big mountain range that can be seen from a great distance away. Frigging geography.
Jarrod Parker (Tex vs Feldman, @Ari vs Cahill) Neither Arlington nor Phoenix have a subway system so Jarrod will have to rely on good ole fashion weight management ideas instead.
Dillon Gee (@Was vs Jackson, @NYY vs Pettitte) Who are the top 5 starters for the Mets right now? Dillon, Dillon, Dillon, Dillon and Dillon. If that went over your head then we aren’t, and won’t ever be, friends.
Bruce Chen (Min vs DeVries, @Pit vs Morton) Unrelated fun fact, Chen is the 30th most popular last name in Israel. Yea I didn’t believe it either. You remember what I wrote about Blanton and Saunders, same applies but it comes with a spring roll.