He almost lost the job last April. If you can find an owner willing to trade you Troy Tulowitzki for Jeter or Torii Hunter or Carlos Guillen, I’d do it. I think the Polish have a rite of passion that they have to wear socks with their flip-flops for at least ten years of their life. I had a Polish friend growing up that would delivery newspapers in flip-flops and socks. You know what flip-flops and socks does for you? Makes you look ridiculous, so you know when you’re working it’s not a fashion show. It’s work, dammit. Tulowitzki probably hits the treadmill in flip-flops and socks. Cause baseball is work, dammit. And Tulo takes it seriously. I believe Tulo was genuinely upset with his slump. Do I think he’s out of the woods completely? Nah, probably not. But by the end of May, this slump will be a distant memory. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:
Matt Diaz – (using my big boy voice) Another home run! (using my little boy voice) Against a lefty.
Matt Stairs – Staying with the Matt theme, he can hit 25 home runs.
Alexis Rios – Two days off with the flu. *writing on pink construction paper* Get well soon, Alexis! (Hopefully he wasn’t kissing Casey “I Had the Kissing Disease for Two Years” Kotchman.)
Edwin Encarnacion – Supposedly he’s only owned in 50% of ESPN leagues. So if I can infer something from that, 50% of ESPN’ers draft their team then abandon them. Another reason why you shouldn’t join a random ESPN league. Maybe ESPN shouldn’t be broadcasting these things. Then again they have given Chris Berman a platform for 30 years, so they’ve obviously made some missteps.
Manny Corpas – Looks like Fuentes will be closing a game by this time next week. I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Corpas, but he needs to get away from the closer job for a little bit, maybe spend some time with his family, volunteer at the local nursing home and remember why he started playing this game in the first place, or whatever closers do when they lose their job. He’s a righty and will be in the mix again soon. Remember before you drop him, there’s still over five months left of the season.
Alberto Callaspo – Ye of a .348 average in 23 at-bats was about to get the start because of Grudzielanek’s back soreness, but the game was rained out. Maybe Callaspo can get someone to Tony Harding Grud’s knee.
Carlos Quentin – Hit another home run. Sure, it was off a tired Moose, but whatever, that shizz counts too.
Josh Hamilton – Has 21 RBIs. I’m admittedly a fan, but before we start giving each other reach arounds, we have to remember he’s a bit of health risk.
Daniel Cabrera – Pitched a solid game. Most impressive thing, zero walks. Then again, he was facing the Mariners.
Krispie Young – 0-for-5 with four Ks. You have to expect this if you have him on a team.
Troy Glaus – He’s looked surprisingly okay. Still wouldn’t touch him. (BTW, LaRussa has now pinch hit Wainwright in two straight games. Looks like someone’s hitting the hooch again. Take away his keys, Duncan.)