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If I were an emoticon, I would be a sad face. Maybe Tulowitzki shouldn’t have been jogging in socks and flip-flops after all. The only way he wouldn’t get on track this year is if he were injured. What does Tulo do? Gets injured. Badly, as it turns out. Tulowitzki is out until the All-Star break and that’s being optimistic. As Seinfeld might say, “What is the deal with all of these quad injuries?” In one year leagues, if you have no room on your DL, I’d say drop him. There’s not much positive to be had from these. I picked up Bobby Crosby in one deep league and Barmes in another. Why do I suddenly feel like I want to roller skate down a spiral staircase while carrying eighty pounds of deer meat? Some guys I’d look at to replace Tulowitzki (of course it depends on the league and needs): Felipe Lopez, Erick Aybar, Keppinger, Ronny Cedeno… I just thought of something. How about someone “take out” (those real quotes would be air quotes if we were, ya know, speaking) Grudzielanek? Then we can get Callaspo in there. Oh my God, I’m hoping for Callaspo to replace Tulo. The loss of Tulowitzki has made me delirious. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Chad Cordero – I’ve been saying for three weeks now Rauch gets more saves than Cordero. Now I wouldn’t be surprised if Cordero doesn’t get one more save this year. I’d drop him too, if you have no room.

Phil Hughes – Out until July, you probably don’t have him anyway, except in AL-Only leagues.

BJ Upton – Injury bug’s sure going around. He hurt himself on a swing. He says he’ll be all right. I say expect him to miss ten days, not go on your DL and be a nuisance.

Zach Greinke – Okay, onto something positive. He K’d nine Rangers. I think Carlos Silva could K seven Rangers, so it is what it is. But Greinke looks phenomenal this year. He’s always been a control pitcher with three solid pitches to strikeout opposing hitters. It’s just when he starts acting like Joey from The Real World: Hollywood is when we have to worry. (BTW, I like how the stripper/cokehead comes home with JoJo, a guy who wears a bling gun belt, and tells Joey that he’s a bit too messed up for her. That’s like getting blown off by… Well, a stripper/cokehead. BTW II, I would’ve put spoiler alert, but I don’t think anyone watches this shizz anyway. But I digress.) To think, Meche is better than Greinke. Karabell reminds me of the little kid who lives on my street. They mean well, yet I still wish them harm.

Travis Hafner – Okay, Pronk’s in a funk, but to drop him to sixth against a righty? So Dellucci could bat third? Listen, I’m as big a fan of fourth outfielders as the next guy, but Dellucci? I’m going to move on before I have aneurysm.

Jack Cust – Went 4-for-4 and deep. I really hope this is the start of big things because Rudy’s got him on his Razzball team. Cust kayin’.

Alexis Rios – Home run, steal, and the move to the leadoff spot doesn’t bother me that much. Where you thought you were getting RBIs, you’re now getting a few more runs. You won’t take 120/32/80/.300/25?

AJ Burnett – Burnett has been giving Rudy headaches lately. (Rudy doesn’t mind drafting AL pitchers; buy him a beer sometime and ask him about it. Or search the site. Whatever.) Burnett was wild, but unhittable last night against the Red Sox.

Hiroki Kuroda – Good start, but he seems completely unpredictable.

Paul Byrd – 1.71 ERA in last four starts. I guess that’s good if you had him for the last four starts. I wouldn’t want him for his next four.

Rafael Betancourt – Ichiro Suzuki (cause I use last names) scored on a fielding error by Blake (who was batting second, I’m assuming Wedge is trying to get fired). If you thought Kobayashi would be next line, he gave up the go ahead home run to The Big Sexy in the tenth.

JJ Putz – I think he threw one strike the entire inning and that was a hanging splitter to The Big FraGu. Maybe he’s hiding some lingering soreness from his injury? Just speculating.

Kerry Wood – I’m by no means a Wood apologist, but HBP, Soriano misplays a ball, infield single, walk, Braun hits a triple, it wasn’t really Wood’s fault. Just bad circumstances.

Eric Gagne – Walk, strikeout, then a bullet double play. Just good circumstances.

Carlos Marmol – I’m pretty sure he would’ve just struckout the side in his third inning of work. BTW, Marmol has 19 innings of work through May 1st. This will probably kill Marmol for next year, but Piniella doesn’t seem to care.

Brian Shouse – Second win this season by Shouse where he only needed one pitch. Get on board!

37 Responses

  1. john says:
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    I wish Marmol would have pitched that third inning, Wood killed me in one short inning raisin my ERA by 1.3 points, didn’t get me a save and added a nice loss to my week. But hey, at least Manuel decided to sit Jenkins and start the once Sittin’ Hawaiian (the day after I dropped Shane-o for Quentin, of course)…oh well

  2. Sav says:
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    Wood truly has pitched in some tough luck this year. His peripherals are still good, but every baserunner seems to score on him.

  3. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    After discovering Razzball.com and your RiosLove the day before my league draft, I shifted my draft strategy and stretched (a bit) for Alex Rios at pick 32 in a 12-team mixed league. Then, instead of taking Tulo in the third as planned, I took Furcal in the 6th.

    Thanks, Razzball!

    Signed,
    Satisfied Customer Since Earlier in ’08

    p.s. How likely is Krispy Young to hit .270 this year, as per PECOTA? I’m currently dangling Zimmerman and Gregg for him. I know you guys hate the Zim, and Gregg feels to me like Implosion ’08 waiting to happen.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @john: Victorino looked very solid, and there would have been a base stolen in the seventh if Werth didn’t line into a double play. But they were starting against a lefty, now it would be good to see Victorino in there against a righty.

    @Sav: Yup, but he’s still one sneeze away from the DL.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Glad it’s working out for you so far. Tell the Countess Von Vull I said hello.

    Actually I’m the only one who doesn’t like Zim; Rudy likes him. Also, not a huge fan of Krispie, why don’t you throw Kazmir, Carmona, Werth, Pierre, Braun and Uggla to get a superfecta of people I don’t like?

    I can’t imagine Krispie hitting .250, let alone .270. Sometimes people get lucky. But with all of that said, I like Krispie much better than Zim and Gregg.

  5. scott says:
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    If I were an emoticon I would be the one with two red slits for eyes that smells like sticky buds and beer….that T.R.O.Y reference brings me way, way back…one of the best jams ever! It is literally the first song on my old school playlist (although Pete Rock and CL Smooth might properly be classified as middle school since guys like Grandmaster Flash, Whodini, Schooly-D and Run-DMC are truly the old school masters — but I digress).
    Anywho, what do you think about Rich Hill tonight? The Cards are hot and Hill is not…..do I start him and hope Ankiel doesn’t kill’em?

  6. scott says:
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    BTW, if it takes hitting Pronk ninth to get his flippin’ ass moving I’m all for it…

  7. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Baseball Prospectus, which is generally pretty realistic/pessimistic/frowny-faced in its projections (it seems nearly unfathomable to PECOTA that anyone might get 100 RBIs), has Krispy as their second-ranked fantasy OF this year (ahead of Holliday), hitting .274, driving in roughly 226 runs, and in an unprecedented move, being the first active player inducted into Cooperstown, hereby known as Krispytown.

    Not that it matters; the trade already got rejected.

    I’m hoping (hoped?) Zim’s doubles will turn to homers in the new cozy ballpark, wrist surgery be damned. For one glorious night that looked like it might be right.

    Any tips on cheap sources of power; i.e. 30+ homers with palatable BA? As stated elsewhere, I already made a play for Dunn but got Smoltzed. Young’s on the grocery list too, but I might have to dip deeper in the dumpster. Mike Jacobs? Mark Reynolds? Ankiel? Wait for Jay Bruce?

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @scott: Then you would have people like Kool Moe Dee who tried to go back and finish middle school. Or EPMD — guys the new school tried to take to their prom. Or the Beatsies who seemed like they would never graduate but somehow are going for their doctorate. Finally, weird who the Leaders of the New School are old school. Or I guess Leaders of the Middle School with your new definition.

    I’m not starting Hill against the Cards in shallow leagues and I’m starting him in NL-Only and fifteen team leagues.

  9. john says:
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    Yea, Victorino did look good. I’m hoping since I no longer have him, either he craps out or no one sees he’s on the waiver wire and I pick him back up….How bout Maine? To start or not to start, that is the question?

  10. scott says:
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    LOL…Kool Moe Dee could flow like Rakim….I love all those guys you mentioned, esp. the Beasties….its incredible how they’ve kept it fresh for so long….I’m changing the name of my fantasy team to Paul’s Boutique (or maybe B-Boy Bouillabaisse) and I’m sitting R. Hill

  11. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Jacobs’s short term isn’t great with his finger problems, but I’d take a chance on him, especially against righties. Maybe platoon him and Ankiel if you can depending on matchups?

    @john: I’d start Maine every time out until further notice.

    @scott: I have this analogy that Mark Wahlberg is the Beasties of acting. The Beasties came out with the song (Fight for Your Right to Party) and the song screamed one-hit wonder. Then they have this long career. Marky Mark — you see him in Boogie Nights and you’re like, “Yeah, he’s great, but there’s no way he can ever be in another movie.” Then Huckabees/The Departed, actually just about every movie he’s in, he’s the best part.

  12. BSA says:
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    OK, back on that Tulo/Bedard for Renta/Halladay trade. I took Tulo out when he was reported to be down until July. Would you do a Halladay for Bedard trade. Halladay has been strong but I see more upside to Bedard.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Neither of those pitchers has the best track record with injuries, so that cancels itself out. Bedard is a better roto pitcher than Halladay. I definitely do that trade.

  14. Custard says:
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    Grey, I have to say I’m a little wary of your taste now…Marky Mark is a three-nippled douche! He’s the cheap bastard that would buy one box of Thin Mints during Girl Scout cookie season. Nevermind that’s he’s still called Marky Mark (to his dismay, I’m sure)…how can you even type that with a straight face?

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Custard: re: three nipples — Well you can’t spell lactate without act.

  16. scott says:
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    Def see the similairities in Beasties/Marky Mark….white boys who have ridden the popularization of hip hop culture like few others…MW will always be Marky Mark to me but Grey is right, Boogie Nights is one of my all-time faves (Burt Reynolds!) and The Departed is a straight-up classic. BTW I’ve decided to start R. Hill tonight (big game for him, I think he comes through) and B. Myers manana (only cuz its the Giants)….gotta show some faith in your boys!

  17. ParkCyde says:
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    With Tulo-wince-ki out, why not bring up Kennedy? I had read how it was being teased moving GAtkins over to 2B to make room, but they’d since thought better of it. Why not call up Kennedy to play 2B instead? To delay his clock?

  18. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    Re: Ichiro Suzuki… The Japanese are the reverse of how westerners use their family names and their given names. Ichiro’s family name is Ichiro. His “first” name by anglo standards is Suzuki. Same Goes for Fukudome, Kosuke, etc.

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @scott: Let’s not forget MC Serch co-mic’ing 3rd Bass to co-hosting (with Yo-Yo!) Miss Rap Supreme. Who would’ve thought the Flavor of Love formula would work with angry lesbians?

    @ParkCyde: Stewart? Yeah, hopefully, but the Rockies are supposedly exploring trade options. In deep leagues (NL-Only, 15 teams), if you have room, I’d pick up Stewart now for the chance he gets the call.

  20. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: Yeah, I’ve heard that. See, my custom is to use the name that is the color of my picture.

    @JonBBT: Doc, can I have the diagnosis without having to read anything? Is he still injured?

  21. @Grey: haha fine. He was throwing his fastball between 97 and 101 last year and his splitter in the low 90s. Now he’s throwing his fastball between 91-95 and his split in the high 80s. Thus, he cannot challenge hitters down the middle anymore and is the reason why he’s nibbling and walking hitters this year after having such a fantastic k:bb ratio last year.

  22. ParkCyde says:
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    Stewart…. *blush*. Somebody let another Ian play baseball this year.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @JonBBT: Thanks for the info. Yeah, if it wasn’t for high strikes being called and overanxious Indians hitters, he would’ve lost the game last night. Unfortunately, as the M’s have already shown, there’s no one else to really take over so he’s safe as long as he can toe the rubber.

  24. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @ParkCyde: No worries, Tulo-wince-ki made me smile.

  25. @Grey: Well, Putz figured it out later in the inning and registered some k’s by using his fastball out of the zone as a decoy and then throwing splitters, sliders and changeups in the dirt. If he can realize that his fastball isn’t what it once was and starts throwing more of the filthy stuff then he may become a decent closer again.

  26. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    Oh, and about injuries… Gallardo tore his ACL. WTF?

  27. josh says:
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    yeah wow on gallardo. looks like it’s dave bush o’ clock for grey

  28. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: I know, didn’t hear about that til this morning. Really crappy news for YoGa’s owners.

  29. ^ugh.. that’s me in one league.

  30. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @josh: I just dropped Bush for the Pontoon Boat. I can’t catch a break in that league.

  31. Chase says:
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    Is Carlos Marmol, the Closer, coming out soon?

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Chase: I don’t think Marmol is the closer unless Wood gets hurt, which is to say there’s a 50/50 chance.

  33. scott says:
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    @ Grey — Loved MC Serch…Prime Minister P-Nice is now some kind of baseball curator in Cooperstown…seriously. I’m giving Rich Hill the Gas Face!! He’s killiing me…

  34. scott says:
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    LOL…you know your Third Bass! An interview w/ Pimp Minister P-Nice would be sweet….

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