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I’ve gone over the top 20 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, the top 40 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball and the top 60 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball, which brings us to the top 80 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball.  Crazy how that worked, huh?  Next thing you know, tomorrow will be the top 100.  There’s a few names in this post that I’m really gunning for on my teams.  In last year’s version of this post, there were a few guys that I also wanted — Matt Harvey, Hyun-Jin Ryu, Chris Tillman, Alex Cobb, Shelby Miller and Andrew Cashner, and they all shot up the rankings this year, except for Harvey for obvious reasons.  His star shone too bright!  I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some great bargains to be had.  Who doesn’t love a great bargain, says Jewish Stereotype Man.  There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone.  All of the 2014 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball:

61. Jeff Samardzija – This tier started in the top 60 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball.  I called this tier, “Come here, Dumpling Face.”  This tier ends at Scheppers.  He wasn’t really terrible last year (for short periods of time).  His ERA was the real problem (and walks and homers and falling velocity).  He still throws fast enough to be effective and his walks, while worse than 2012, weren’t Edinson Volquez bad.  His homers are right around normal for Wrigley and him.  I still believe he could easily be a 2.75 ERA guy with 200+ Ks.  Love the upside gamble with him and, for the risk, he’s probably ranked more appropriately than he was last year when I lost my shizz on him and started adding ‘zija at the end of every word.  Watch out, Gozija!  2014 Projections:  10-12/3.88/1.32/197

62. Ervin Santana – Ervin and Ubaldo were the best starter free agents this offseason according to real baseball people, if you don’t count Tanaka.  Yeah, quite the offseason for pitching.  As of this writing, Ervin still hasn’t signed anywhere, but he’s the kind of guy that won’t change much no matter where he goes assuming he doesn’t end up in San Diego or Coors.  So, I can project Ervin now — it’s Magic with no aids!  Um, I mean, it’s magic without the help of anyone else.  *slowly tiptoes out of the room*  2014 Projections:  13-8/3.67/1.24/161

63. Dillon Gee – To continue to beat the same drum over and over with one arm like I’m in Def Leppard, you could get a 3.50 ERA from a guy like Gee and you can probably draft him as your sixth starter.  Seriously, if you draft an early starter, you’re crummy with crackers.  Gee elicits about as much enthusiasm as saying his last name in front of any sentence.  Gee, great.  Gee, awesome.  Gee, money.  He’ll likely be on waivers in most shallower leagues by as soon as his first back-to-back poor starts.  He, honestly, seriously, adverbially, has less upside than other guys in this tier.  I still like him due to his walk rate.  Gee, terrific.  2014 Projections:  10-8/3.91/1.30/135

64. Wily Peralta – I touched on Peralta briefly in a non-sexual way in an earlier starter rankings post when I mentioned the pitchers who averaged the fastest fastballs.  He averaged a 94.8 MPH fastball last year and only had a 6.33 K/9.  That was so curious to me that I searched all pitchers from 2000 to 2013 for a pitcher with that low of a K-rate and that fast of fastball and he was the winner (loser?) by a lot.  Cashner last year was the closest, but he beat Wily by a decent amount.  After Cashner and Peralta, I couldn’t even find any pitchers in the last 13 years that had a K-rate in the 6’s when throwing that fast.  Dustin McGowan in 2007 was the next closest at 7.64 K/9 (this was for qualified starters, bee tee dubya; I ignored guys who pitched half seasons or in relief).  This could mean nothing or it could mean if Peralta throws a near-95 MPH fastball again this year, he could shoot up in K-rate.  2014 Projections:  12-11/3.94/1.34/142

65. Hector Santiago – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Going to the Angels and into the rotation.  I nearly wrote a sleeper post about him, but this will give me an opportunity to talk on him and maybe later in the spring I’ll highlight him again.  Now how backpack rap is that?  No idea, but that song is up to about 175 on my iTunes play count.  Santiago’s walks are too out of control (literally) for him to really make a huge impact in mixed leagues.  Hector usually can’t come within 10,000 square meters of the strike zone.  Last year, his K-rate was 8.28 with a 4.35 walk rate.  If only Skaggs had his fastball and Santiago had his control…  *wavy lines signifying a dream sequence*  Hector Santiago and Tyler Skaggs were one and two for the Cy Young and my Cougar said we should ask Jessica Alba if she wants to join us for a threesome.  *wavy lines ending my dream sequence*  Whoa, that was amazing.  Will also be more of a flyer for mixed leagues, but has better upside than Skaggs, but a lot more downside too. ”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2014 Projections: 11-10/3.92/1.38/158

66. Erasmo Ramirez – I want to write a sleeper post about all of the guys in this tier (and the Thisclose tier).  I love them all.  I’m going to write a sleeper post about Erasmo as soon as its confirmed that he’s in the rotation, but that might not be until the last week of Spring Training, so for most leagues you might need to draft Erasmo merely on speculation that he’ll find his way into the rotation.  If he does make it into the rotation… 2014 Projections:  9-9/3.89/1.26/125

67. Yordano Ventura – Already went over my Yordano Ventura fantasy.  I wrote it while elaborating to my Cougar on what I meant by, “I want to sleep with your friend, Tracy.”  2014 Projections: 8-7/3.99/1.36/133 in 145 IP

68. Ivan Nova – A Yankee pitcher?  That’s good?  That’s not an overpriced free agent acquisition?  Okay, that’s just weird, but weird said like Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.  Nova’s K-rate dipped last year, which I didn’t love, but when looking deeper at him (or deeper in his eyes), I saw a guy that is pretty comparable to a guy like Patrick Corbin, who’s ranked way above this point.  The AL East and his short track record of success concerns me, but not enough to not at least take a flyer on.  2014 Projections:  13-7/3.88/1.28/170

69. Tyler Skaggs – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Going to the Angels and likely right into the rotation.  Skaggs doesn’t have Cy Young upside, but he won’t play second fiddle to anyone, not even Steve Miller.  Now that Skaggs has a big ol’ jet airliner taking him to a more pitcher-friendly park there’s a chance for some upside here.  His fastball is only 89+ MPH, so there’s no expectation that he’ll be a 9+ K guy.  He reminds me of another Diamondback prospect that also is no longer in the Diamondbacks organization — Jarrod Parker.  Parker is three years older than Skaggs, so the comparison isn’t quite there.  Then again, Parker was in the AL…Then again again, the A’s play in a pitchers’ park and the Diamondbacks don’t.  Then again again again, Skaggs is moving to an AL pitchers’ park.  Then again again again again Parker only had a 3.97 ERA last year.  Then again aga– Well, Skaggs will probably be around a 4.00 ERA guy with slightly above-average Ks.  That’s solid for an AL-Only pitcher, but just a flyer for most mixed leagues.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  9-7/4.05/1.34/142

70 1/2. Tanner Scheppers – Here’s what I said about him the other day, “Will be a starter this year.  I’m starting to see the pattern.  Move Ogando into the bullpen then rotation then bullpen then rotation.  Do the same with Neftali.  But then you run out of arms to ruin and what can you do?  Ruin a new arm!  The Rangers never saw a young (is Scheppers young?) arm they couldn’t screw up by shuffling from the bullpen to the rotation and back again.  If Mariano Rivera was in Texas all those years, he would’ve been made a starter at least five times.  I’ve added Scheppers to my top 400.  I debated putting him in an unfavorable tier, because he had an under-7 K-rate in relief, so that could fall even lower and be useless in most mixed leagues, but I decided his unknown is worth a late flyer.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  9-6/3.95/1.31/118

71. Kevin Gausman – I already wrote a Kevin Gausman sleeper post while talking to Samantha, my operating system.  I haven’t posted it yet, because I’m worried the O’s will bump him from the rotation before we get to the season.  Gausman is in the same boat as Erasmo right now.  Great flyer for upside, but you’re gambling that he will have a rotation spot.  He’s ranked below Erasmo even though his projections say it should be reversed because I think there’s a better chance Erasmo sneaks into the rotation before Gausman.  If Gausman does… UPDATE: Baltimore thought about the marketing implications of being called the O’s and having Ubaldo — We’re the UbaldO’s! — and bumped Gausman from his rotation spot, as I feared they might.  2014 Projections:  4-2/3.52/1.24/70 in 80 IP

71. Dan Haren – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Quintana.  I call this tier, “At best meh, at worst I hate their guts.”  All of these guys can and have killed fantasy teams in the past.  Here’s what I said this offseason about Haren, “Next stop on the casino bus is Los Angeles.  He was hot garbage left in a Slumdog Millionaire toilet last year.  His ERA was 4.67, but his xFIP was only 3.67.  Do you smell a bounce back?  Well, that might still be the Slumdog john.  He’s lost velocity in the last two years and his home runs have gone through the roof (especially if he’s pitching in a dome stadium).  He did raise his K-rate last year, but he’s on the wrong side of ‘exciting’ and his fastball and change are pretty close in velocity.  I could see a small bounce back from him, and a flyer at the end of drafts.  However, I’m not expecting a guy that’s going to come all the way back to a low-3 ERA.  He’ll probably be a nice matchups guy vs. the Padres, Giants and Rockies and Diamondbacks when he’s home.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  13-10/3.89/1.22/172

72. Yovani Gallardo – Gallardo’s velocity dipped last year and his K-rate went buh-bye.  He was a sneaky option when he had a 9+ K-rate and a 3+ BB/9, but a 7+ K-rate and a 3+ BB/9 isn’t buttering the biscuits, isn’t walking the dog, isn’t flipping an obelisk in the air and starting civilization.  2014 Projections:  11-12/4.02/1.33/151

73. Josh Johnson – Here’s what I said when he landed in San Diego, “What’s that sound I hear?  Grey getting excited about Josh Johnson again?  Or is it Grey using third person?  Maybe both!  Johnson wasn’t bad in Toronto.   He was egregious!  See what I did there?  Actually, he was only bad when looking at ERA.  For xFIP he was at 3.58 and a 9.18 K-rate.  Both are solid numbers.  Now Petco can take those pretty numbers out for a ride and remove all the belch like a gentle antacid.”  And that’s me quoting me!  UPDATE: This Johnson has more injury problems than John Wayne Bobbitt’s johnson.  2014 Projections:  7-10/3.84/1.31/154

74. Matt Garza – I have him projected for 139 innings.  I wrote it down on a Post-It without any reasoning behind it.  I wonder if those innings be consecutive.  I wonder if he’ll pitch 4 innings, hurt himself and then throw 135 innings later.  I should’ve just wrote a note about why I wrote down he was going to pitch 139 innings.  Did I even think about it or pull 139 innings out of the ether?  Can things be pulled from ether?  What’s ether?  I got questions, y’all!  2014 Projections:  8-10/3.67/1.25/128

75. Ricky Nolasco – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Also signed by the Twins.  I have a prediction that won’t come true.  The Twins and Marlins will be folded into each other to make the Mwins or Tarlins, and they still won’t win their new division, losing to their main rival, the Padtros.  What does this have to do with Nolasco?  Not a whole lot.  Nolasco is very similar to Phil Hughes, minus the home runs, which is kinda like saying vanilla is similar to chocolate minus the taste.  Nolasco and Hughes have similar K and walk rates, but Nolasco keeps the ball in the park, which shaves about a quarter of a run off his ERA.  In AL-Only leagues, Nolasco is the kind of guy that could make a huge difference at the end of your draft.  In mixed leagues, he’s a streamer.”  And that’s me–well, you know.  2014 Projections:  10-10/3.86/1.24/155

76. Scott Kazmir – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signs with the A’s.  Those sneaky bastards.  A guy that can be an ace for about two-thirds of a season and then take a DL siesta is solid for real baseball.  For our purposes, or porpoises if dolphins are reading, he’s definitely on radars.  He could be a 200+ K pitcher with a low-3 ERA.  But put ‘could’ in one hand and ‘is’ in the other hand and you have nothing in either hands.  They’re words, why would they be in your hand?  I imagine Kazmir will be drafted prior to me getting off the fence on him, but if not, I could see grabbing him late.  He could be anywhere from a 2.75 ERA, 220 K guy to a 5+ ERA guy who is bumped from the rotation by June.”  And that’s–Geez, a lot of crizzappy starters changed hands this offseason.  To read more, here’s Sky’s Scott Kazmir fantasy.  2014 Projections:  9-7/3.85/1.29/145

77. Bartolo Colon – Here’s what I said about him this offseason, “Signed with the Mets.  Damn, the Mets have serious Yankee envy.  Now they’re just signing doppelgangers.  “Hey, this guy is fat and CC Sabathia is fat, let’s get him!”  Next thing you know, they’re gonna sign The Situation to pay shortstop and Paul Sorvino to manage, then replace Sorvino with Whiz Kid Donnie Smith.  One positive thing about Bartolo Colon signing with the Mets is Mr. Met can hide behind him, upping his Hide ‘n Seek game.  One negative thing is the price of Jamaican beef patties in Queens is gonna go through the roof with demand going up.  Since Bartolo’s K-rate isn’t above 6, I’m gonna say his ERA doesn’t remain near 2.50, but I’ve been wrong about him in the past.  If you’re a fan of Bartolo (for a reason I can’t fathom), then this move doesn’t hurt his value.”  And that’s– Well, you know the 411 even if no one under the age of 25 knows ‘what the 411’ means.  2014 Projections:  10-12/3.78/1.23/124

78. Tommy Milone – In this era of baseball teams moving in fences, the A’s should move out their fences.  Or maybe put the fences on Segways.  In for their hitters, out for their pitchers.  Alfredo Jettuccine Griffin easily gave up the most homers per nine innings, but fourth in the league was Phony Milone.  Griffin ended up ranking much higher than Milone due to his strikeout track record, slightly faster fastball and ability to go 200 innings.  Milone could easily have a comparable season to Griffin.  I’m not hundred percent sure that’s a compliment.  2014 Projections:  13-9/3.91/1.28/141

79. Brandon Beachy – Unlike Pineda (who I’ll get to; please don’t ask why he hasn’t been ranked yet.  I haven’t forgotten about him; oh, who am I kidding?  Of course, someone will ask.), Beachy should throw close to a full season and will be guaranteed a rotation spot for as long as he’s healthy.  Last year, Beachy took a huge TJ detour, which doesn’t involve donkey shows and buying chiclets from pre-teen Mexicans.  He should get back to his pre-surgery 9+ K-rate and sub-3 BB/9 ace numbers, I’m just not sure it will be this year.  No one is sure.  Anyone that tells you different is lying to you, which is different than lying next to you — or is it?!  Usually Tommy John surgery causes the pitcher to lose some control when they return, but Beachy’s walk rate last year was only 1.20 in 30 IP, which is superb.  There’s a real chance here for a huge value pick or bupkis.  UPDATE:  The seashell is to my ear and it’s saying, “Beware the Beachy.”  2014 Projections:  8-6/3.97/1.27/110

78. Jarrod Parker – I’m willing to throw out his bad April and September.  April because he had an injury issue and September because I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.  He’s still a 6.50 K/9, 2.60-ish BB/9 pitcher.  That’s not remotely exciting without a bunch of BABIP, LOB% or homers per fly ball luck.  He should be passable for a back-end starter on most deeper league teams, but I wouldn’t flagellate anything over it.  UPDATE:  Headed for his 2nd Tommy John surgery.  The 2nd one half-off deal was just too tempting.  2014 Projections:  11-9/3.79/1.26/122

79. Jose Quintana – If you were to just look at Quintana’s ERA last year (3.51) and his WHIP (1.22) and his K/9 (7.38) and his walks per nine (2.52), you’d think he should be ranked much higher.  Wait, why are looking at anything else?  Well, you don’t have to, but I don’t trust him to match or surpass any of those stats.  He should be good for a high-3 to low-4 ERA with around 145 Ks.  That’s the definition of streamer in most leagues if most leagues had their own dictionary.  2014 Projections:  10-9/3.80/1.25/147

79. Alexi Ogando – Alexi has had a season where he pitched 169 innings with solid results (6.71 K/9, 2.29 BB/9 and a 3.51 ERA), but then he needed 18 months in middle relief following that because he felt like his arm was on fire and/or about to fall off.  Now he’s back in the rotation and ready to ruin his arm once again.  2014 Projections: 11-7/3.62/1.21/118

80. Michael Pineda – This is a new tier.  I call this tier, “Lottery tickets.”  This tier goes from here into the top 100 starters for fantasy baseball.  This tier is pretty self-explanatory.  You could get a solid fantasy starter from any of these guys or you could get nothing.  My guess is for most of them you’ll get somewhere in the middle like Monie or Malcolm.   I’m trying not to be cynical.  I’m going to Cynics Anonymous and we’re trying to take it serious.  All the eye rolling at the donuts in the back of the room and the people coughing insults under their breath is difficult.  If I weren’t cynical, I’d tell you Pineda will be in the rotation all year and return right back to the elite talent he was prior to his injuries.  The possibility is there–ouch, it hurts to roll my eyes so much.  I need help, CA!  I’m sick of looking at the ceiling for milliseconds!  Cashman has already said that Pineda may not even have a job out of Spring Training.  My guess is he will win a job eventually, but he won’t pitch anywhere close to a full season.  He’s a lottery ticket for this year that is paying off at around 60 to 1 odds.  2014 Projections:  6-3/3.98/1.15/87 in 90 innings