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You remember when I started these top twenty 2013 fantasy baseball rankings.  We were over-the-internet friends still.  Then we had that disagreement about where I ranked Matt Kemp and I said I’m sorry, and you called me a stupid, what-and-what.  We were younger then, with our whole month of January in front of us.  Now, here we are at the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball and there’s only one more hitter post ranking to come, unless you count the DH’s, but DH’ing is for sissies and guys nicknamed after animals.  All of the rankings are under the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings thing-a-ma-whosie.  If you’d like, I can list each one of them again.  Maybe soon.  After you apologize for saying mean things about my Cougar, who I proposed to yesterday.  Sorry, four girl readers, I’m off the market for at least the next 47 months, according to the National Council of Family Values.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball:

61. Coco Crisp – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Rasmus. I called this tier, “Some power and not incredible speed equals yawnstipating over the course of a season.”  You know what Coco Crisp is good for?  SAGNOF and a balanced breakfast.  Cerealiously.  2013 Projections:  68/8/44/.272/35

62. Adam Eaton – When I wrote my Adam Eaton 2013 fantasy, I was dancing around in my underwear to a Bob Seger song.  Wil Myers has the hype (and talent), but for redraft leagues this is where I’m sinking all of my rookie hitter love.  I know I called this tier yawnstipating, but my nether-loins are a bit jazzed about Eaton and Martin.  2013 Projections:  75/7/45/.270/25

63. Leonys Martin – I already went over my Leonys Martin 2013 fantasy.  I wrote it in umeboshi plum-colored lipstick.  I will also put a little rookie nookie here too in redraft leagues.  2013 Projections:  85/12/50/.280/17

64. Lorenzo Cain – On top of the potent (not terrible?) Royals lineup is Cain.  The Tongan who’s good with balancing a checkbook, Irving Falu, and the chicken man, Jarrod Dyson, are there to step in when Cain once again fails to live up to expectations and gets hurt.  Seriously, I could just link to my Cain sleeper post from last year.  It still applies.  It just needs a giant asterisk.  Actually, it’s just a giant healthrisk.  Hello, clever, what’s your name?!  2013 Projections:  77/17/54/.272/20

65. Colby Rasmus – I’m half expecting Blue Jays fans to be chanting “Let the Gose loose” by the All-Star break, forcing Rasmus to the bench.  I also could see Rasmus hitting for more power than other guys in this tier, but he won’t steal as many bases or hit for a terrific average without luck.  The good news is this will be the last time he’ll be ranked anywhere if he disappoints again, more because he won’t have a starting job next year.  Hmm, that’s the bad news too.  2013 Projections:  69/21/74/.242/8

66. Alfonso Soriano – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Ross.  I call this tier, “Your grandfather’s younger brother’s fantasy outfield.”  The projections for this tier will more than likely be better than the next tier.  The names are more familiar.  But when you’re this deep into the outfielders, you’re better off taking a flyer on upside.  So let someone else grab Soriano and jump down a tier.  Soriano had a huge bounce back year in 2012.  That’s cool.  Jump in your DeLorean, go back to March 2012 and draft him.  And, while back there, tell Kanye not to date Kim and listen to his own lyrics, “She was suppose to buy your shorty Tyco with your money, she went to the doctor got lypo with your money, she walking around looking like Michael with your money.”  Oh crap, I just realized I gotta split the nickel Razzball makes every day with Cougs.  I’m down to two and a half Lincolns, which still sounds better than two and a half hours of Lincoln.  2013 Projections:  54/23/74/.254/5

67. Ryan Ludwick – When he re-signed with the Reds, here’s what I said, “Across the board, 2009 looks to be Ludwick’s true talent level:  63/22/97/.265/4.  He’s nowhere near the 37-homer guy that he was in 2008, and he’s not as bad as the Petco-fueled 13-homer, .237-hitting guy in 2011 when it looked like Ludwick was decomposing.  (pun point!)  Last year, he went 53/26/80/.275 in Great American.  Depending on where he bats in the order (I have my arthritic fingers firmly crossed that Frazier bats clean-up), Ludwick should be good for around those stats again.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2013 Projections:  57/24/77/.267/1

68. Corey Hart – He will be out for the first two months-plus. Hart’s projections are at the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

69. Jason Kubel – It was a tough call deciding if Kubel or Ross should be ranked here.  All hundred of my monkeys that type up these rankings fretted for many bananas… Hours, Ling-Ling, hours?!  Not bananas!  2013 Projections:  62/22/81/.248/1

70. Cody Ross – Here’s an overheard conversation the Diamondbacks’ front office had this offseason:  Kevin Towers, “Guys and one girl we hired out of our binder, we’ve looked over all the data and it says we should trade our best player, Justin Upton– Yes, Phil?”  “Sir, our supercomputer actually says don’t trade Justin Upton.”  “Well, too late.  Next this no-human-brains-needed supercomputer told us to trade our best pitching prospect, Trevor– Yes, Phil?”  “Actually, it no longer says that either.”  “I told you to update that computer back in November.”  “Sorry, sir, I read some bad reviews about the new Windows supercomputer operating system.”  “Well, what does it say to do with this team now?”  “It says we should acquire another player that is exactly like Jason Kubel.”  “But the Reds already signed Ryan Ludwick.”  “Hmm… Maybe Cody Ross is a good 2nd option.”  “The seamstress?”  2013 Projections:  78/22/58/.260/3

71. Dayan Viciedo – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Young.  This tier is called, “Well, we’re pretty deep here, how much upside were you expecting?”  Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first.  Viciedo only had a 31.3% FB rate (around that of Jemile Weeks); he had a 16.4% infield fly ball rate (7th worst in the majors, around guys like Uggla and Carlos Pena, i.e., it’s not easy to hit for a decent average when you’re popping up everything); he had a 20.5% HR/FB rate, which is high and… Wait, are there any positives here?  Well, as the tier name said… We are deep.  2013 Projections:  60/22/72/.249/1

72. Delmon Young – Let’s get the bad news out of the way first.  Young may not be ready for Opening Day and he sucks at life and baseball.  Okay, the good news is he’ll be in a good hitting park in Philly and he has pudgy cheeks which will help him dress up as Gary Coleman for Halloween.  So, there’s not too many positives, but…. What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Delmon?!  2013 Projections:    66/16/71/.274/2

73. Brandon Moss – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Bourjos. I call this tier, “Value for homers and steals, no value for counting stats, you need to platoon.” I already went over my Moss projections on the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

74. Domonic Brown – I don’t think Charlie Manuel will ever give Domonic Brown an everyday job for a full year, but Manuel did say, “Sassafrass my crickets!  Has some lunkhead been eating my special ju-ju straws?”  I have no idea what that means, but Brown should platoon with Mayberry Jr.  2013 Projections:  54/13/62/.268/8

75. John Mayberry Jr. – I imagine there will be a time in the near future when I’m telling everyone to pick up Mayberry.  Then a time in the near future after that near future when I’m telling everyone to drop Mayberry.  Then a time in the near future after that second near future when I’m telling everyone there was a time in the near past when you should’ve dropped him, but now’s the time to pick him up again.  2013 Projections:  49/16/63/.253/2

76. Drew Stubbs – I’m a sucker for Stubbs.  Feel free to go ahead and skip through to the comments and tell me I’m a damn fool.  I just get all moogly-boogly when looking at a guy that can easily give you a 15/40 season.  It’s my cross to bear.  Or bare, if you’re a religious nudist.  Unfortunately, the addition of Bourn hurts his value. There’s just so much SAGNOF to go around. 2013 Projections:  54/14/55/.244/31

77. Krispie Young – On one hand, it doesn’t make any sense to bench a 25/25 guy against righties.  On the other hand, Billy Beane’s new OBP is platooning.  On the third lesser known hand that is actually a Venus Fly Trap disguised as a hand, if Young only faces lefties his counting stats are going to take a huge hit but his average might be about normal.  In 394 ABs vs. lefties in his career, he has 20 homers and a .272 average.  2013 Projections:  31/17/42/.262/9

78. Tyler Colvin – If there’s one guy in these twenty outfielders that could break out in a big way, it’s Colvin.  But if he does, it’s going to have to come at the expense of someone else.  Preferably Helton finally hanging up his cleats, putting on some flip-flops and getting on the next season of Survivor.  Or an injury to Fowler, Cuddyer or CarGo.  Unless you own them, then it would be bittersweet.  More sweet than bitter.  More bitter than sweet.  Bitter then sweet.  Sweet then bitter.  As Big Head Todd Helton would sing.  2013 Projections:  52/15/59/.267/5

79. Peter Bourjos – All signs are pointing to Bourjos getting the everyday job.  All signs did not read the handwritten manifesto by the Sciosciapath titled, “Where The Upside Things Are (On My Bench).”  2013 Projections:  55/11/61/.249/20

80. Wil Myers – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “‘Not If But When’ isn’t just something I read in a fortune cookie, it’s also a tier name.”  I already went over my Wil Myers 2013 fantasy, then I went over a different Wil Myers 2013 fantasy when he was traded.  There’s interesting points made in both.  Don’t worry, all points are rounded so you don’t hurt yourself.  I got slightly daffy with myself when he was traded to the Rays, thinking he would start the year in the majors.  The Rays pretty much said I was drunk on stupidity and they’d let him start the year in the minors.  So the first Wil Myers 2013 fantasy is more applicable for projections, but less applicable for team specifics, and vice versa on the 2nd Wil Myers 2013 fantasy.  Confused yet?  Cool, me too.  I think Will’ll be up at the beginning of June.  2013 Projections:  40/18/50/.280/5

  1. DrEasy says:
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    Let me be FIRST!!!1! to congratulate you for your engagement! And since DHing is for people named after animals, can your Cougar help our Blue Jays? Can she hit lefties?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DrEasy: Thanks! She’s a switch hitter!

  2. Steve says:
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    What the actual eff? Congratulations Grey. I’ve never been more happy for someone I’ve never met.

    Oh, yeah. I’ll go read the post now. Seriously though, good for you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, Steve!

  3. MattTruss223 says:
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    Wow dude, I that’s fantastic. Congratulations. My reaction is the same as Steve’s, for someone I’ve never met I’m happy for you man. Nice work!

    Now I’ll go read about some OFers.

  4. Wallpaper Paterson says:
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    Congratulations on the engagement.

    I think I will stay away from Fowler this year and pursue Tyler Colvin instead.

    Whatever happened to Adam Eaton the pitcher? He was not on a chew count and then ruined his jaw or something? Let me try this again. Whatever happened to SP Adam Eaton? He was good for a spell and then vanished. I do not recall his injury but obviously it must have been bad for him to not have resurfaced by now.

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: I looked at his Wikipedia page. I had forgotten about his post-Padre career. And I don’t even do drugs!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wallpaper Paterson: Thanks! He was a Hodgepadre that petitioned that all MLB ballparks move their fences back but he lost…

  5. Eddy says:
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    Congratulations, Grey! That’s amazing news.

    Did you pull the ring out of your ‘stache?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eddy: Thanks! I gave her a promise stache!

  6. bossmanjunior says:
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    Can we get a glossary term for a tamed cougar? Maybe that cougar was stuffed and mounted, so a taxidermy cougar? Seriously though, Congrats!

    • Jim says:
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      @bossmanjunior: Mounted and then
      stuffed would be the proper order for a hot cougar.

      • Todd25 says:
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        @Jim: heyoooo!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @bossmanjunior: Hey, who’s stuffing my cougar?! Thanks!

  7. LA Sound Guy says:
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    Congratulations, Grey. When the dynamic is right, why fight it? Of course I’m talking about Adam Eaton coming in at 63. What a great fit. I’m definitely in love with that guy, and after drafting him, I look forward to our honeymoon phase. Always nice to have that love validated. Thanks, Man.

  8. JoeC says:
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    Grey, I assume you’ve met your cougar? You’re not getting Catfished, are you? ;)

    Also, I’m just throwing out a guess, but are you using the term “cougar” ironically? As in, she’s older than you, but only by a year or two? I have a hard time seeing a smooth-talking, fine-mustachioed man such as yourself settling for a 40-year-old spare tire.

    What, too harsh? I keed, I keed!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JoeC: Ha… What, she’s 78 years old? You never saw Anna Nicole’s husband? No, I haven’t met her but her daughter is Lennay Kekua…

      • Justin says:
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        @Grey: speaking of catfished what do manti
        te’o’s gf and the alabama running back have in common??

        Manti te’ didnt touch either of them.

        lmao enjoy that pass it around

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I don’t get it, but I don’t know anything about Alabama…

          • The next great razzball writer! says:
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            @Grey: Te’o couldnt tackle him, never touched him, like his fake girlfriend

  9. The Racehorse says:
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    Grey,

    Congrats on the four of you: You, Coug, Your ‘Stache, Her ‘Stache…

    16 team dynasty mixer — I have Travis Snider stashed (no pun intended) on my minor league roster. Any chance Snider does anything stash worthy (pun intended) in 2013?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @The Racehorse: HA! Thanks! Probably not for Snider, but if it’s not hurting you to stash him, go for it…

  10. costaricanchata says:
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    congratulations , i guess .
    does she know what she’s getting into ?
    am pretty sure that you do .

    my how quickly some things change .

    on january 6th you posted : ” Eaton no longer has a starting job in Arizona…”
    and , that’s me quoting you , back when you were young and gay .
    wait .
    what ?

  11. nyydj2 says:
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    WOW! Congrats Grey! Has Stanton accepted your invitation to be Best Man yet? You did set the date for the off season right? Right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @nyydj2: When I say Cougar, I mean Giancarlo in a fur coat…

  12. mc serch says:
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    Congrats over-the-internet brotha! Your cougar has found her tamer….nice…don’t forget to go to the whip every once in a while….now can we get on with the starting pitchers already? Sheesh!

  13. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
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    Hey all,

    Please stand by for the following public service announcement:

    Anyway…I’m still looking for one last manager for the RCL champions league that I will be running this year. It will be an RCL league, the only requirement being that you had won your RCL league in 2012. There is still one single spot left, so if you were thinking about getting into this league, no is your last chance. Shoot me an email if interested. It is shaping up to be a very competitive league…and that’s all we ask for in a league, right? I’m looking forward to it.

    We now return you to your scheduled program, already in progress.

    Eric

    takecareofyourshoes@gmail.com

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @RandomItalicizedVoice:

      you could , at least , tells us who was last year’s over-all winner .

  14. Billy says:
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    In marriage, just don’t handle disputes there the way you do here…just admit when you’re wrong and move on. Defending wrong statements/actions with nonsense is the fastest way to divorce.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Billy: Now, Cougar, trade David Wright!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Sky: That’s my boy!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @Grey: Alright, we already know your wedding will be baseball-themed and I know the Mrs. Albright-to-be is totally onboard with it. So with that said, what’s your walkup to the altar music?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Baha Men…

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Well I guess it will be the last time you get to let the dogs out. After that, you’re fully kennelled my friend.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Some would say spayed…

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                Greyaprhodite?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Greysosexy…

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    That’s almost as good as #MikeTroutIsSoGood

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      You’re right, I need a hashtag…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Sky: Those are copycats…

  15. Big Magoo says:
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    Congrats man! Good to hear that your cougar is making an honest man out of you. Just one request – try not to let her pressure you into cutting your articles short so that you can watch Project Runway together. Married life is a different beast, I tell you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Big Magoo: I’m the one who forces her to watch PR…

      • Big Magoo says:
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        @Grey: Ah yes, I should’ve factored in the ogling factor. Married life can put the kibosh on that too. Unless you got yourself a frisky couger, you dog you.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          All cougars are frisky; check Wikipedia for natural instincts…

          • Big Magoo says:
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            @Grey: Your timing instincts were right on point, now that I think about it. Popping the question the same week that Josie gets eliminated? Coincidence? I think not…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I had to soften Josie’s landing somehow…

            • JoeC says:
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              @Big Magoo: Who had the Best Week Ever? I would say all the Top Chef fans who hated Josie.

              Now if we could just get Kristen back in the running, life would be complete (or, alternatively, a tasty compote!).

  16. royce! says:
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    A hearty congratulations to you, Grey.

    How’d you pop the question- sneak a diamond ring into her Ensure? Zing! Totally kidding and totally happy for you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @royce!: Thanks, man! I put in her prune juice, she accidentally swallowed it but it came out again no problem!

  17. HomeRunfromBehindtheMeatBalls says:
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    Congrats on the Coug, Grey! She said yes?

    Matthew Berry called ‘n said you were about 35 HRs low on your Tyler Colvin estimate. He also sobbed quietly into the phone when you didn’t rank Kyle Blanks.

    • How could you not rate my nephew Kyle? You couldn’t do me a solid like Lasorda did by drafting family friend Mike Piazza? That’s it, expect one less table setting in your wedding gift!

  18. Tom Jacks

    Tom Jacks says:
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    Congrats Grey!

  19. I’m just glad the Cougar said yes as the last time he proposed – to a toolsy Alex Rios in 2008 – the response came in the form of a restraining order

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Rudy Gamble: He went by Alexis then… How was I supposed to know an Alexis was a man?

  20. Adam says:
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    I love your rankings but I am confused of why i dont see Juam Pierre in the top 80 OF’s

    .290AVG 80R 35SB?

    • Adam says:
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      @Adam: Congrats!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @Adam: Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Adam: He’s a platoon guy as of right now…

  21. OaktownSteve says:
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    Marriage. It’ ain’t just a word…it’s a sentence.

    Just kidding. Obligatory anti-marriage joke. In reality marriage is fantastic. I can honestly say I’ve taken something positive away from almost all of my marriages.

    Just kidding again. In reality it’s awesome. You know how people say “oh you’re going to be miserable just having sex with one person for the rest of your life?” Totally not true. Once you get married you NEVER have sex, so it’s not a problem.

    Just kidding again.

    Mazel Tov!

    • Steve says:
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      @OaktownSteve: Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution? Badoom-tish!

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Steve:

        Seriously though, I never knew what happiness was until I got married, but then it was too late.

        • Steve says:
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          @OaktownSteve: I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

          • OaktownSteve says:
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            @Steve:

            Yeah, you’re right it’s not all a bed of roses. I mean, some mornings I wake up grumpy. Other mornings I let her sleep in.

            • Steve says:
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              @OaktownSteve: I haven’t spoken to my wife in six months. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

              • OaktownSteve says:
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                @Steve:

                My wife and I started out sweethearts. Then we got married and ended up silent business partners in a not for profit childcare facility.

                • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                  @OaktownSteve: I missed all this today, I had the baby’s mama rolling with this dialogue. You two steves rock!

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Steve: I missed all this today, I had the baby’s mama rolling with this dialogue. You two steves rock!

  22. Snake Hips says:
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    Congratulations Grey!

  23. centerfieldballhawk says:
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    Grey to Cougar… “I mustache you to be my wife.” Congrats on the news.
    Adam Eaton looks to be an on base machine, and is exactly the kind of player that I will be looking to grab in my keeper league. Hopefully my league mates will confuse him for the starting pitcher of the same name. What round would you start looking at Eaton?

  24. The Gig says:
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    Steve is not kidding…Just kidding….no I’m not. I’m happy for you Grey! Welcome to the not so exclusive club. I’ll poor a sip of my Green Flash out on the front step in your honor tonight!

  25. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:
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    What…are we about 46 months into Razz? Don’t divorce us! We can be sister-wives!!

    Congratulations!!!!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @simply fred: Thanks! Yeah, I’ll sister-wive up with any of you…Cust kayin’.

  26. Random Collmenter says:
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    For the record, I think you were kidding about being engaged, and now you will have to pretend you are because u received all of these “conGreytulations” messages.

    I know baseball is your wife and football is your mistress, like Bo Jackson. Did you see his 30 for 30? It was awesome.

    What was your final verdict in the Keanu Biebs vs. Klepto Hitsmall debate?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Random Collmenter: Ha… I don’t watch football so I have room in the iCal still… Rudy shot down both terms, sorry…

      • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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        @Grey: You don’t watch any football? You missed out on the Pro Bowl?!!!!? Are you out of your mind?

        Actually, I like football and watched not one second of the Pro Bowl. It is less exciting than a Blue Jays vs Florida State exhibition game.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I watch the Super Bowl every year for the commercials… That’s about it…

  27. TheNewGuy says:
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    First keeper league trade advice of the OS.

    Looking to improve my farm and been offered:
    Profar and Skaggs for Encarnacion (1$) and Olt

    Now I love the chance to get the no1 overall prospect, but im also giving up what should be a great keeper in E5 (2 years 8$ or 3 years 12$). In this case who would you rather have.

    Happy to lose Olt for Skaggs as cant see regular ABs for Olt anyway. Do the deal?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I wouldn’t do that…

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @Grey: Because of Encarnacions current keeper value to me right? And how do you see Profar fitting in this year, all a bit crazy in Texas right now but I love Profar as a SS prospect in that lineup/park.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I don’t think Profar’s gonna matter much this year…

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @TheNewGuy: @Grey: And nice one with the Coug! Rawwww. We’re all jealous of you man.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha, thanks, TNG!

  28. Z says:
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    Hey Grey, thanks for the OF rankings. I posted this on the top 60 but I got there very late. Curious if you don’t mind sharing your thoughts on these 2-3 questions below…

    Who do you like better for the next two years: Alex Gordon for $12 or Jason Heyward for $25?

    And which side of this deal do you like : Bourn/Romo/Niese for Peavy/ChrDavis/Hughes?

    What if the deal is: Bourn/Romo for Peavy/ChrDavis?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem… Gordon… Hughes side… Peavy side…

  29. Powerslave says:
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    congrats!!!, too early to star posting real teams??, 15 team 5×5 NFBC , drafted out of 14th spot, overall pick in (), team was drafted mid to late december(slow draft)…………………………. .AAvila,C (224) AJ Ellis, C (314) A.Rizzo,1B (104) B.Phillips, 2b (77) M Moustakas, 3b (197) A Cabrera, SS (107) G Stanton ,OF (14) J hamilton, OF (17) D Jennings, OF (74) J Willingham, OF (134) C.Gomez, OF (137) O.Infante, MI (254) L.Berkman, CI (434) D Fowler, Util (167)… Main Pitchers are F Hernandez(44), M Cain(47), L Lynn(164), J Beckett(227), J McDonald(257), E Jackson(284), P.Maholm(287), R Detwiler(347), H Street(194), B Parnell(344), S Marshall(404), D Robertson(407)…., sorry for long post, will appreciate thoughts from Razzball Nation…..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! Team looks solid… Pretty impressive infield considering you punted it for a decent amount of time… Pitching should be good, though I worry about Lynn… Small quibble though…

  30. Cole says:
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    Did you know that marriage is the punishment for petty theft in some countries? Congrats, man!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, for stealing my heart… Cheese!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, nice…

  31. Mr. Gray: Sorry about my fantasy breakdown on Friday… You are not the only one under pressure here… Sometimes, we need to breakdown to fix things..

    Mr. M was shipped of to a “NICE” vets home this weekend in Texas… I put him on a Greyhound bus filled with federal paroles Saturday morning…

    The last glimpse of him was… I can’t talk about that on here right now..__ Deep breath __

    Just know – he seemed happy, had his chopsticks, his Divine Wind 1/2 gallon thermos and was well medicated already for the journey… He did think, he was going to a karate tourney… O’ well…

    I’ve started interviewing for a new team partner, already.. You might be interested to know, I have found a Suzanne Somers look-alike – who is promising… Met him at a local fantasy sports bar Friday night and he seems to know his stuff too!!!…

    On to the OFers…

    Leonys Martin, wonder where he goes in AL Only keeper $$$ auctions – Wow!! or Ouch!!!… As stated before, ROY shot here

    In many ways, I like this list better than your 40 to 60 list … Some late bargains here

    ****Should point out, I had no idea ESPN was SO much deeper than Yahoo ball.. My take would have been quite different often, had I been looking at things through ESPN lenses rather than Yahoo ones… ***

    Wonder, where Mr. M is now??? And Suzanne has phoned back 5 times about the team – think, he’s really interested!!!…

    Cameron Maybin… One of these days!!… Is this the year!!!… “The sun has chosen to shine on Austin Jackson instead”… But, the fences are in in Tonsureland and he is 26 YO… Got to happen!!! … Mid high teens for taters, few more base knocks and being healthy – could raise his value way up… His Name Factor is WAY UP THERE!!!!

    Like Lorenzo Cain a bunch… Will go real late… 20 – 20??? Where in lineup is a prob.. Don’t like him at lead off … At 26 YO – think he is growing into his power… NAME FACTOR ALERT!!!!
    ***He burned me last year – getting hurt out of the box…

    Dayan Viciedo: The hype he came here under… Bjarkman was not kind about him (low rating)… But, he is young… 23 YO… This baby is not on the brink IMO… But, Waiver Wire power pick up watch is in order… My Jewish friends didn’t believe me, when I told them his name years ago – they laughed at me… This is not a Name Factor player in my book… Just different.. He may have real power there… Jury out here… BA is scary…

    Was surprised not to find – Justin Ruggiano – on this page’s list… He is a default pick IMO… He was a victim of the Rays system.. He deserved to be in MLB long before he finally got there… He landed well with the Fish.. He has a chance to spend the year – FT in the middle of their order and net Fish stats – horrible team – who cares!!! … This is a full time guy for a couple years, maybe… 20-20 with really good BA – is not out of the question… High Reward Value Play near the bottom and not to many come cheaper than him that have a shot at a full time gig…

    Got to go, Suzanne is on the line, again… Persistence does pay off sometimes

    Good thing, I canceled Mr. M’s cellphone before he left or I wouldn’t have a minute to myself…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      HA! Day-day-daynieu… Ruggiano is on his way, maybe you’re right, but he looks like a journeyman to me… Say hello to Suzanne for me…

  32. Commish Cauda says:
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    20-team, H2H Keeper League…$70 cap, salaries increase $1 per year

    Salty $3 is my only catcher, (start one). You like either one of these deals?

    #1 – Trade Stanton $4 and Salty $3 FOR Posey $2 and Cespedes $1

    #2 – Trade Stanton $4 FOR Sal Perez $2 and Heyward $4? Trade Salty for a draft pick.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I like both deals, but I wouldn’t want to give up Stanton in a keeper…

  33. schlitzy says:
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    So I found out about your engagement from reading the comments – that’s what I get for skipping the intro. Congrats!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, schlitzy!

  34. Adam Wainwright, III says:
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    Yeah, Eaton’s gonna be a good value down in this tier. As you pointed out, Grey, he could be top 30 this year. Mmmm, that’s good Eaton’.

    Go get ‘em, Spunky Calf-chomper!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha… Oh, yeah…

  35. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    If i draft krispie and only bat him against righties and i draft Viciendo and only bat him against lefties then I might have a decent fourth outfielder that will give me a 75/28/85 .290 average. Note: there is no mathematical evidendence to back this up, just my noggin spewing numbers.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, your noggin might be right…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: maybe not a 85 RBI’s maybe 75 and a .280, but I would take that. I usually platoon my last OF and it generally works out, and i usually finish in the top 3 of my leagues. i think a lot of razzballers need to learn the art of the platoon, I think it what keeps me interest during the dog days.

        On the reality TV front, I watched AX men for the first time this weekend, kinda fun. Also watched king of the nerds. I don’t get it, but i do like the guys from Revenge of the Nerds as the hosts. Funny side story, when i was 8 years old my brother got my mom to take us to see the movie. she had no idea what we were going to see. Nothing like a proud parent watching her 8 year old running around hollering “we got bush” and “hair pie”.

    • You may be onto something w/ platooning but Krispie is no better at hitting Righties than Viciedo. Assuming equal plying time, I think Viciedo is more valuable against both and his AVG platoon split from 2012 is exaggerated b/c of bad BABIP. But, everything equal, swapping out a non-elite hitter for a different non-elite hitter whenever one of them is facing a pitcher of the same handedness is a solid play.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Rudy Gamble: my buddy won his 14 teamer getting a .275 and 22 HR out of Garrett Jones last year.

        It really works out if you find guys that are must sits against a particular type of pitcher. I never understood commishes that would design their leagues with huge benches, I would use that to fill my team with platoons that worked really well for me while the other guys in the league just hoarded players that never did anything for them. A good tip for platooning is getting players in similar time zones so you know if one or the other is not starting, this plays out well a good chunk of the time. This is because their real world teams will sit them with a bad split.

        • I agree with you. One upcoming enhancement is going to make this type of platooning way easier… :)

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Rudy Gamble: ooh the splitinator

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Rudy Gamble: is this going to be like the stream-o-nater, where we take park, split, batter vs. pitcher and a bunch of other stats to predict daily values?

  36. Hats for Bats says:
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    Congrats on the engagement. Is she a fantasy baseballer?

    PS When do we get your pitching projections?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! No, she’s not… Starting Wednesday…

      • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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        @Grey: I consider that a good thing. When you are having your baseball fantasies she can knit or play Pac Man or whatever she likes to do that you don’t enjoy.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          She can knit some SAGNOF mittens…Great idea!

  37. Jon says:
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    Which keeper package do you like best?

    RZimmerman + Minor
    Lawrie + Jennings
    Lawrie + Rasmus + Minor

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @Jon: Lawrie jennings, try to avoid keeping pitchers, there is so much depth out there

      • Jon says:
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        @Jack Full of Hate: That’s how I’m leaning, too, but I do like Minor quite a bit.

        • Jack Full of Hate says:
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          @Jon: I love minors….that doesnt look right. I meant minor. Unless it was an tier 1 elite arm i wouldn’t even consider keeping a pitcher

          • Hats for Bats says:
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            @Jack Full of Hate: Remember when @Grey was like every1 get Minor. Then 2 weeks later he was like go get Beachy. Only some1 else grabbed Beachy. We cried. Pepperidge Farms remembers.

  38. centerfieldballhawk says:
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    Grey,
    Anxiously waiting your draft pairings article… would you ever consider taking Stanton and Bautista at the Round 1 / Round 2 turn? I know that outfield is deep, but with those picks you could potentially pocket 80 plus homeruns with your first two picks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nah, I wouldn’t take two OFs in the first 2 rounds… Unless it was a very shallow league…

  39. SCRays says:
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    Congratulations! I your work brings a smile to my face every time I’m here. God Bless your marriage.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @SCRays: Thanks!

  40. costaricanchata says:
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    too late now .
    but if you had come to me with YOUR keeper question ==> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7myjFBwDlIk

    btw … your irving comment did not go unnoticed .
    perhaps the 2nd best comment of today’s posting .

    again , congratulations …………… (sucker)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha…Thanks for the video… That’ll be our song!

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: I posted those lyrics last season…deja vu…sorta

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: I know this song has nothing to do with your cougar, because she is a classy lady who is a sucker for stauches. but i found it amusing enough to share.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbOi0xuYRXY

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nice… Did you see the Cougar Love video link I posted a few days ago? Also, classic…

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Grey: no i missed that, i saw comments on it and never found the link

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Grey: do you watch Cougar Town…for the novelty at least?

                Nice video, love the wig

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I’ve never seen Cougar Town… I’m living it…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: are you Ron Mexico?….reference to last weeks episode

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: I actually like it, but I like the Bill lawrence shows, for TV he does a solid job with the jokes. He also did spin city and scrubs.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, he does do solid work… I used to enjoy Scrubs a lot…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: that was one of my all time favorites the Todd, ted and Kelso were my favorites. A lot of people from scrubs have made cameos in Cougar Town, Jordan, who is bill lawrence wife, is on the show and Dr. Zeltzer, who was the one who liked to do swinger parties and drugged Dr. cox and jordan, is a regular

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Ha… Yeah, The Todd, forgot about him…Loved how they used music with the show, member that was how I first discovered Men at Work’s Overkill…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: lots of love for Colin Hay on that show…Funny, thats were I discovered John Cale’s hallelujah. That version really hits you were you want no one to see. I have a funny scrubs imitating life moment too.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      What’s that?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: actually its not funny in a haha way but in a damn thats life way. The day my daughter was born, the episode on that night was when LaVerne died and dr. Cox didn’t want to tell anyone his baby had just been born so they wouldn’t associate the birth of his child with LaVernes death.

                    Being that this was the first airing I found it a little crazy that my daughter is being born on the one year anniversary of my brothers death. I remember her mom went into labor on the 3rd of April and i was hoping she wouldn’t have it till the next day, which she did. Luckily for me I pushed to have his death recognized on the 3rd of April after he died because they said he died around midnight and I thought it would be cool if it was on opening day. Now every year i get drunk on the 3rd of april, think about that episode of scrubs and go celebrate her birthday the next day slightly hung over. talk about really relating to an episode of TV. side note, scrubs was one of his favorite shows. Sometimes things do happen for a reason, just not maybe the way we want them to.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, that is a damn that’s life type story, and crazy how things work out that way…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: scrubs is crazy

  41. TheNewGuy says:
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    “Confused yet? Cool, me too. I think Will’ll be up at the beginning of June.”

    You missed a greyt chance to say…stutterer!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Damn, damn!

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @TheNewGuy: dddaaaaaaddaaaamn

  42. birrrdy! says:
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    Thanks for the rankings, Grey. How many ABs were you factoring in for Adam Eaton and Tyler Colvin with those nos.? Just curious in case the news out of Spring Training indicates more ABs for either. tHx!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Eaton ~420; Colvin ~340…

  43. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    You didn’t reply to my reality tv question, so I copy and pasted again.

    On the reality TV front, I watched AX men for the first time this weekend, kinda fun. Also watched king of the nerds. I don’t get it, but i do like the guys from Revenge of the Nerds as the hosts. Funny side story, when i was 8 years old my brother got my mom to take us to see the movie. she had no idea what we were going to see. Nothing like a proud parent watching her 8 year old running around hollering “we got bush” and “hair pie”.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      That sounds like my story with my grandmother and going to see Hot Dog: The Movie… Luckily, she fell asleep midway through the opening credits… Never seen Ax Men or King of the Nerds… Honestly, never heard of either… King of the Nerds sounds like a Spike show, is it?

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: nerds is on TBS, Ax men is on History. It about loggers who fight each other alot and talk alot of smack. nerds, is about nerd things and nerd behavior, its kinda ridiculous but like any good train wreck is worth it to at least look at.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, agreed… Is Nerds scripted or reality?

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Grey: reality

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Now my interest is piqued… Will have to check it out…

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Grey: they play chess and role playing stuff, made costumes and almost died when george Takai was a guest judge. i believe its on thursdays on TBS. Not great, but not full of beautiful people. seems less fake than alot of the other BS competition shows.

                • OaktownSteve says:
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                  @Jack Full of Hate:

                  One of the hosts is “Booger” from Revenge of the Nerds, if I’m not mistaken.

                  “I’ve been out combing the high schools all day.”

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @OaktownSteve: one of my favorite lines is this conversation

                    Booger: Big deal! Did you get in her pants?
                    Gibert: She’s not that kind of girl, Booger.
                    Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @OaktownSteve: Head of the class

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Arvid!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  That sounds awesome… “NERDS!” a’la Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: Lewis and booger

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I actually worked with Booger’s wife (she’s a sitcom writer), and all I wanted to do was meet her husband…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: I wonder if Timothy busfield is going to make an appearance

                    • OaktownSteve says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate:

                      Or that kid with the glasses from the show with Dr. Johnny Fever and Mike Tyson’s wife.

                      Or Urkel.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: so did you?

  44. Nutballs the Third says:
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    Grey-t site Albright. Congrats on the proposal! I proposed to my wife 6 years ago on the same day. Still can’t convince her that faux sports are socially normal…but she still thinks she gets half of what I win! Dont’ say I didn’t warn you!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, Nutballs!

  45. nyydj2 says:
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    Grey finally joined a keepher league!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      HA! Yup…

  46. Pops Too says:
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    Congrats Grey,
    First Matthew Berry and now you. Whats this world coming to. Hope she lets you fit Razzball into your life. LOL

  47. champion1337 says:
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    16 teams, 25 man roster – c,1b,2b,3b,ss,3 of, dh, 5 sp, 3 rp, 8 benches. 1 keeper. cespedes for $2, medlin for $1, chapman for $1. Which one should I keep.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Chapman

  48. potus says:
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    Congrats sir! Me, the 3 ladies & the SS wish you well. Guess what else is 47 months down the pipe. My tenure is up! Me and some x-SS guys are going to head to Latin America. Join us or don’t.

    From which side of the plate is the cougar facing Moxie Manuel?

    -YHL

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! I look forward to heading to Latin America with your excellency… She’s a switch hitter…

  49. AJ says:
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    Grey -

    When are you going to get the gang back together for a podcast?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Looking at late-February I believe…

Comments are closed.