Today we go over the top 80 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball, which comes after we went over the top 60 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball, which came after the top 40 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball which followed the top 20 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball. Link dump! Tomorrow we hit the 80-100 best outfielders then on to the top 100 starters. It’s the best day of your life because I’m bestowing on you wonderful like your father never did. Don’t ask me to go see you play Little League though, that’s not happening. As always, my tiers and projections are noted and all of the 2014 fantasy baseball rankings are there. Where? There. Dur. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball:
61. Nick Swisher – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Willingham. I called this tier, “If drafting any of these guys gives you an erection for longer than four hours, seek medical attention.” Went over Swisher already in the top 20 1st basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball.
62. Josh Willingham – It’s no accident these guys are in the alluding-to-Viagra tier. These guys are as old as the leftover pasta in your fridge, and about as moldy. I suppose a Zombino year could come from any of the guys in this tier, but I’d prefer to look for one from a player who’s not on one of the worst offensive teams or playing his home games in a stadium that has Homerfree in its name. 2014 Projections: 62/20/70/.241/2
63. Michael Bourn – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Eric Young. I call this tier, “SAGNOF!” Doesn’t feel like that long ago that Bourn was a 60+ steal guy. Those days are in the rear view mirror and only appear closer than they are. His career is not on a roll like Cottonelle, but it has turned to shizz. Mmhmm. 2014 Projections: 89/5/53/.269/30
64. Rajai Davis – When Rajai, the King of SAGNOF, signed on with the Tigers, he visited Detroit for the first time with his royal court, Anthony Gose, Jarrod Dyson and Juan Pierre. They were instructed to inspect the city. Juan Pierre wiped his finger along a homeless man’s forehead. While histrionically acting appalled by the dirt left on his finger, Pierre was pick-pocketed. Gose went to a looting where people were running off with televisions. Dyson went to the 8 Mile strip club, The Booby Trap, and lost his lunch. He didn’t vomit, but someone tapped him on his left shoulder and stole his lunch from the right side. When Rajai heard about this, he knew he had to be in Detroit. What better place than somewhere that theft is that prevalent. 2014 Projections: 59/4/28/.266/39
66. Denard Span – Last year, Span hit out of the seven hole 45 times and that was with the Nationals trying desperately to get healthy. This year, I imagine he’ll be slotted down at the bottom of the order more times than he’s not, which will hurt his second best asset with the runs. For those that found us by Googling, “best ass with the runs.” You’re sick! 2014 Projections: 64/4/51/.276/20
67. Eric Young – As he did in Colorado, Eric Young arrived at his new team in New York, immediately slept with the manager’s wife and is now relegated once again to a backup role. I empathize with EY on this. Cougars are hard to resist. Between Lagares and Krispie Young being platooned out and Grandy getting hurt, EY should still see 350 ABs, which would be his 2nd highest total in career. 2014 Projections: 55/2/25/.252/31
68. Chris Carter – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Ibanez. I call this tier, “Some slight upside from my projections, some big downside too.” Went over him already in the top 20 1st basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball.
69. Colby Rasmus – Picture this: the Blue Jays actually get huge production from Lawrie and Rasmus after so many years of promise. With their luck, Edwin, Reyes and Bautista will probably get hurt on Opening Day. That’s not implausible but also not completely fair. Rasmus wasn’t bad last year — 22 homers, .276 average. Yet, he was still a guy that went on and off waivers all year. A repeat of last year is respectable but also not exactly terrific. Oh, and last year he had a .356 BABIP, so there’s a chance Rasmus reverts back to a guy no one wants. And for everyone that went crazy in the comments for my first two outfielder posts asking where Domonic Brown was, how different is Rasmus from Brown? Not to answer, but to question oneself. 2014 Projections: 62/24/73/.251/3
71. Michael Morse – When he signed with the Giants, here’s what I said, “Imagine the dreams Sabean has about being able to play a guy at DH. He’d probably inquire about getting Mickey Mantle out of retirement and from being dead. Even without the lure of being able to put a brittle, unable-to-stay-healthy guy at DH, Sabean had no problems going after Morse. The Giants announced they were moving in the fences eight inches. Not to help offense, but to add more padding. Oh, who am I kidding? Morse won’t ever get near a fence when tracking a fly ball. He’ll pull a hammy about fifty feet from the nearest fence and collapse into the womb position.” And that’s me quoting me! 2014 Projections: 57/18/66/.267
74. Raul Ibanez – When he signed with the Angels, here’s what I said, “The Eñe has landed as he signed with the Angels. Bit of a quagmire started with this signing that could affect whether or not Tanaka signs with the Angels. See, the Angels management team asked Arte Moreno for $2.75 million for Ibanez and Arte Paypal’d them over the money, which totally flipped out Tabatha, his daughter, because that was her manicure money. Now, how is she going to tip the Asian lady? If that gets out, Tanaka won’t sign with the Angels. Ibanez’s 2013 is the best case scenario for all the guys in this tier and his 2012 is the worst case scenario.” And that’s me quoting me! Oh, and I guess the news of stiffing the manicurist did get out. 2014 Projections: 55/19/63/.235
75. Oswaldo Arcia – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball. This tier I call, “Grey’s upsides yo’ head.” In five outfielder leagues, this about where you are with your fifth outfielder-slash-utility man. In some leagues, we’re already at players that won’t be drafted. I tell you this to say it’s now you go for full-on upside. If you grab a guy like Ryan Ludwick for your fifth outfield slot, you may as well quit your league and start knitting yarn balls for where your testicles once were. You grab an upside guy and, if he doesn’t pan out in the first few weeks, you can always grab a guy like Ryan Ludwick off of waivers when he’s hitting. The reality is you’re gonna be dropping the guy you draft here in 12-team leagues. Probably within ten days of the season starting, maybe before the season starts. As for Arcia, he could hit 30 homers (in any park but Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome). In Minny, he’ll need to slip pitchers a Mickey. Bam! And the pun of the year award goes to…Grey Albright! (Word about the projections in this tier. They’re very optimistic; what fun is it being realistic with upside?) 2014 Projections: 61/22/71/.242/3
76. Marcell Ozuna – Here’s the part in our program where we get excited about a Marlins hitter. *struggling to hit the caps lock button* YAY. DAH, I CAN’T JUSTIFY THIS LEVEL OF ENTHUSIASM. UGH, HOLD ON A SECOND. There that’s better. Ozuna showed 20+ homer power in the minor leagues and he’ll have as much rope as he needs to hang himself. My apologies to Michael Hutchenson fans. 2014 Projections: 53/17/60/.258/9
78. Alex Presley – Hey, prematurely balding man, come sit on my lap and ask me anything you want. Prematurely Balding Man, “Okay…Hehe…Your mustache tickles. Why are the upside outfielders so yawnstipating?” Because they’re on the Twins, Marlins and Astros. Unlike most of the guys in this tier, Presley is less exciting, but has more a chance to actually give you a return on an investment and reach his projections. He is in a place where there’s little to no competition for at least a month. Aaron Hicks could pressure him later on if Presley fails to do anything in April, then Byron Buxton will pressure him in September, but for now Presley should have the leadoff spot all to himself. It feels like the kind of situation where Presley can give you Adam Eaton-expected numbers for less cost. UPDATE: Lose starting job to Aaron Hicks. I.e., Presley has left the building. 2014 Projections: 77/9/43/.271/20
79. Oscar Taveras – The Cardinals blocked him once again and for those of you who think it’s only a matter of time, the Cardinals organization likes to win and they do just fine with guys like Jon Jay and Sugar Shane Robinson. I already went over my Oscar Taveras fantasy. It was written before the Bourjos acquisition, but everything still holds since I never thought Taveras would get more than 300 ABs. 2014 Projections: 42/10/32/.288/8
80. Nick Castellanos – I’m gonna write a post dedicated to Castellanos, but it won’t be one of those posts where I rave about how awesome he is, but one of those posts where I rave about how meh-with-a-chance-for-more he is. Meh-with-a-chance-for-more player posts always go over well. Maybe I’ll post it the day before the season starts, so I can tell you in June that I wrote a preseason post about him while still not giving anyone a chance to read what I wrote prior to the season starting. I’m like a landscape architect with my hedges! 2014 Projections: 61/13/69/.266/4