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In our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track.  This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure.   If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck.  Only a few more top 20 rankings posts.  What is it, February?  March?  Why don’t I have an app for this?  Or do I want a hashtag?  App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50’s style diner with wifi.  As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned.  Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:

41. Michael Pineda – This tier started in the top 40 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball.  This tier ends at Wainwright.  I called this tier, “Might be fine, won’t be fine on my teams.”  I had already went over my Michael Pineda 2012 fantasy. That was before the trade to the Yankees when I was still eating some serious M-Pineda’s.  His projections then were 12-10/3.40/1.10/195.  I had him originally ranked 19th overall for all starters.  Now in The House They Built Across The Street From The House That Ruth Built, I’m slightly worried.  Much has been said about his Home/Away splits.  After the Montero/Pineda trade, some of it was said here.  He’s young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts.  For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him.  What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk.  2012 Projections:  14-9/3.75/1.15/180

42. Adam Wainwright – The notes coming out of Spring Training can talk about how Wainwright did Tommy John surgery like Jon Stewart did Tucker Carlson.  Won’t matter to me.  I’m not going anywhere near him.  Someone would have to don a mustache and feathered hair wig and impersonate me in order for him to show up on any of my teams.  2012 Projections:  12-7/3.75/1.28/140 in 160 innings

43. Roy Oswalt –  UPDATE:  I wouldn’t draft Oswalt on any team now that he says he won’t play until midseason.  You can’t afford to roster a guy for more than half a season who you can’t even DL.  As of right now, it looks like Oswalt will sign with the Red Sox, which would make the most sense for both.  The Red Sox need a starter and Oswalt needs overalls and a tractor which the Red Sox would help pay for cause they need a starter.  See, both are happy.  Oswalt pitched well enough in the bandbox called Citizens Flank so I wouldn’t be worried about him in Fenway.  At this point in his career, he is who he is no matter where he plays.  2012 Projections:  14-10/3.65/1.22/140

44. Jhoulys Chacin – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Garcia.  I call this tier, “Guys that no one seems that excited about that I’ll draft.”  We’re solidly in the class of pitchers here that will probably be a solid number 3, which usually stands for the vomit you have while you’re crapping, but in this case it’s a fantasy pitcher that doesn’t compete for the Cy Young but can anchor your staff like a metal piercing.  As for Chacin, I think there’s an outside chance we get a number one starter out of him and I almost ranked him in the top 40 starter post.  What ended up having me rank him here instead is threefold.  First fold, his walks can be a bit obnoxious.  Two fold, his K-rate dropped last year.  Three fold, whoever heard of a three fold?  Do they have a threefold on your planet?  If Chacin can regain his K-rate and just reduce his walks by one per nine innings, you have yourself a top 20 starter.  All aboard!  Actually, all excited!  2012 Projections:  12-10/3.60/1.26/175

45. Trevor Cahill – When he went to the Diamondbacks, I said, “Even if his new ballpark is slightly more favorable for hitters, he’s got a solid sinker and he’s going to be facing the Giants, Padres and Dodgers, the Moe, Larry and Curly of lineups. I didn’t like Cahill at all the last two years, but I’m willing to reevaluate.  I’m not stubborn.  *through clenched teeth*  Fine, he looks draftable now!”  And that’s me quoting me!  2012 Projections: 12-10/3.60/1.35/160

46. Jaime Garcia – You want another thing this tier could be called?  Fantasy starters that should be around a 3.50 ERA, but aren’t going to strike out 200 guys.  After I said I didn’t like Wainwright or Carpenter, I was getting letters from the Vatican that I had something against Cardinals.  See, I like Jaime Garcia, so it’s not a Jew thing.  Though Dave Dinkins might think there’s some truth to the conspiracy since now I’m just liking a “Hymie.”  2012 Projections:  11-9/3.65/1.30/160

47. Neftali Feliz – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Holland.  I call this tier, “I have problems with Ranger starters.”  Arlington is basically the AL version of Coors and I’m not getting involved in that shizz.  Here’s what I said earlier in the offseason when it was announced Feliz would start, “His K-rate last year was a huge shambles or Suge Hambles if you roll with rap impresarios who are into spoonerisms.  I’m not sure how a closer could even have a K-rate of 7.80 with Feliz’s stuff.  I’m not just saying that to sound stupid, though it probably doesn’t hurt.  His fastball, curve and change were all the same velocity as previous years.  He added in a slider, but adding that shouldn’t have killed his shizz.  Hitters were just making good contact, or, at least, better contact and not getting as fooled.  His walks also went through the roof.  I mean, 30 walks and 54 Ks in 62 1/3 innings is terrible.  Who are you, Kevin Gregg?  But as we know from Dempster and C.J. Wilson’s transition to being a starter, Feliz is probably going to have the best year of his young career.  I’ll be on the outside looking in though, feels like too much risk to me.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2012 Projections:  10-6/3.55/1.20/95 in 120 innings

48. Colby Lewis – Last year he proved fresh off the bloat shouldn’t be restricted to Asians.  His K-rate and ground ball rate went down and his fly balls went up.  In Arlington, that’s basically standing on the balcony with coke on your nose, firing a machine gun at dozens of people who are firing back.  Ron Washington, “Must we mention coke?”  Lewis’s ERA ballooned to 4.40 and he was shot.  This year?  He’ll be slightly better, but I see no reason to stick my neck out for him.  He’s a pig that don’t fly straight.  2012 Projections:  14-11/4.00/1.20/180

49. Derek Holland – Holland is an interesting name in this tier.  Post All-Star break he had an ERA of 3.06 while pre-All-Star break was only 4.68.  Shows you that there’s some good Holland days and some bad Holland days, usually because of the whisking of the eggs.  I’m not convinced that he’s going to give you those post-All-Star break stats over the full year.  His September BABIP was .211, which helped give him a 2.20 ERA and bolster his 2nd half stats.  If he’s around late enough, I could see possibly gambling on him, but my pitchers I drafted before him will have to be less risky.  2012 Projections:  13-8/4.00/1.32/180

50. Justin Masterson – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Hellickson.  I call this tier, “They got lucky last year.  If you draft one this year, you’re pressing your luck and may get whammied.” Most of the guys in this tier are ranked below where I saw them in most mocks and other ‘pert rankings.  If you see one of these pitchers going lower than I have them ranked, then you might want to gamble on one but they are due for a regression.  To put that more succinctly, I’d try to avoid these guys.  To put that even more succinctly, try to avoid.  Even more succinctly, avoid.  Most succinctly, av–.  Masterson had a 6.58 K/9 last year with a 3.64 xFIP.  Not terrible marks.  He gets a lot of ground balls, which is good, but, if he has just a bit of bad luck with those, his ERA is going to look ugly.  Worth avoiding on that risk.  2012 Projections:  10-10/3.85/1.32/160

51. Tim Hudson –  For full disclosure purposes — or porpoises, if you live in the sea — Hudson was originally ranked with Oswalt, but news just came out recently that Hudson may miss all of April due to his offseason back surgery.  If Hudson were younger, I’d consider an earlier timetable that says he could be back mid-April, but there’s no reason to take on an older pitcher who’s already hurting.  2012 Projections:  11-9/3.65/1.18/120

52. Doug Fister – His walks… His BABIP… His men left on base… His homers allowed… His uncanny ability to sing Kyrie from memory whenever someone calls him Mr. Fister…. They are all too good to be true.  I don’t think Fister will be unusable, but I also don’t think he’ll be a top 40 starter as most ‘perts have him.  2012 Projections:  12-10/3.85/1.18/140

53. Ervin Santana – He improved his walk and K-rate last year, but also got a bit lucky with his BABIP.  He’s a tough one to call.  He’ll either be a 3.75 ERA guy with around 180 Ks and 15+ wins, or he’ll be a 4-something ERA that just frustrates you from start to start.  I think it’s going to be more of the latter, if latter means the 2nd one.  Last year he threw a lot of sliders — more than anyone in the league and that’s reason enough to let someone else look to Ervin for magic.  2012 Projections:  12-12/4.00/1.30/170

54. Jair Jurrjens – If you’ve read this site for a minute (which is actually a long time if you go by the urbandictionary definition), you know how I feel about Jar-Jar.  You are just as likely to get his 2010 stats (4.64 ERA) as you are getting his 2011 (2.96 ERA).  Actually, that’s not true.  The stats say you should get a 4-something ERA every time out.  If you’re feeling lucky, then play the lottery and then go wash that Jurrjens right outta your fantasy team crosshairs.  2012 Projections:  11-9/4.15/1.35/100

55. Clay Buchholz – For any full season (which is very rare for Buchholz), he’s yet to have an xFIP under 4.  <sarcastic>Yay.</sarcastic>  He’s yet to have a K-rate over 7.  <sarcastic>Yippee.</sarcastic>  His walk rate for his major league career is 3.72.  <sarcastic>Terrific.</sarcastic>  2012 Projections:  10-6/4.25/1.30/125

56. Jeremy Hellickson – I saw Hellickson ranked around 30-ish overall for starters at other sites so I feel like I’m comfortable telling you to ignore him this late.  For some reason if he’s still around when you get this low into your draft, ignore him further.  Don’t go near him.  I’m not saying this because I was accused in the comments at the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball of being a Rays fan after my ranking of Longoria.  When are people gonna figure out that I don’t care about teams only about players?  I’m excited about McCutchen and Alex Presley, I don’t care about the Pirates.  I loved me some Matt Kemp last year, hated Andre Ethier.  The examples go on and on.  Sorry about this totally unfunny rant, but nothing annoys me more than being called bias.  I take this non-paying job way too serious!  As for Hellickson, his K-rate was 5.57 last year.  That’s good…For underhanded softball.  His xFIP last year was 4.72.  Sidney Ponson called and said stop stealing his xFIP.  Hellickson was lucky to not have a 6-something ERA last year.  Do not draft.  2012 Projections:  10-9/4.30/1.25/130

57. Jonathan Sanchez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes into the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “Holy crap, there were a lot of starters I didn’t like in this post.  Let’s see some names I like.  Please.”  Glad to be outta that last tier that is going to elicit so many comments of this variety, “Why rank Hellickson above Jonathan Sanchez if you’d draft Sanchez and not Hellickson?”  Jonathan Sanchez and other names in this tier are coming with a lot of risk.  I like them, but I’m not reaching for them until I see some other schmohawk draft Colby Lewis or Fister or Neftali or Hellickson et al (which is not the Israeli airline).  My projections for the players in this tier I like may even look better than some of the players above them, but there’s a lot of risk hurdles for these players to jump to get to those projections.  For instance, there’s a much better chance Hudson reaches his projections than Sanchez comes anywhere near his.  I like these pitchers, but they are flyers.  You should know there’s no guarantee with these guys.  They may be number two fantasy starters or they may be off your team by April 15th.  As for Sanchez, his nickname Filthy Sanchez is perfect for him.  It’s filthy as in good and filthy as in bad.  He can strike out double digit hitters in a game or he can give up 12 baserunners in 4 innings.  A lot of times he gives you both.  2012 Projections:  12-11/3.95/1.35/185

58. Vance Worley – I think his 2011, which was fantastic, is partly due to hitters not being familiar with him.  He had a 8+ K/9 and a 3.66 xFIP.  Alone those numbers say he was a hotter piece of ass than his mother, Jo Anne Worley, ever was.  I think, unfortunately, Worley is a candidate for a sophomore slump.  That’s my gut talking though (unless those noises are coming from further south on my body).  When the gut talks, you listen or you end up needing an antacid.  2012 Projections:  12-9/3.75/1.27/130

59. Mike Minor – I almost put Julio “The Sheik” Teheran here.  Who’s the Braves fifth starter?  Can we just draft “Braves fifth starter?”  Is that legal?  The heat is off Minor to be good and I will love him once again.  Last year I told you to draft him in every league, then when the Braves announced Beachy would be in the rotation instead, I told everyone to draft Beachy.  Minor?  He major.  Nothing wrong with the stuff.  If anything, he’s a year older (24) and can have a huge breakout.  Last year he threw over a 180 IP between the Braves and Triple-A, so if he pitches well, he might just throw 200 innings.  Yeah, there will be more mention of him this preseason.  2012 Projections:  10-8/3.65/1.28/170 (<–optimistic, but whatevs)

60. Wandy Rodriguez – He’s exactly the pitcher he was last year (3.49 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 166 Ks), plus or minus .20 in ERA and 20 Ks.  He’s more or less overlooked because he’s on the Astros (shoot, people who work for the Astros overlook them) and he has little to no upside.  Will his numbers be better than Worley?  Prolly.  Would I draft Worley first?  Prolly.  There’s something to be said for upside.  If you’re not excited for your team in March, how excited will you be in June?  Look at February Grey getting philosophical!  I’m one upping Socrates.  I’m Mo’crates!  That might just be my rapper name too.  Yo, mo’ money, Mo’Crates!  Mo’ money, Mo’Crates!  Mo’ money, Mo’Crates!   I drink cream soda and I rock a toga!  King Minos got a powerful navy, and, yo, my beard and hair is wavy!  Try and read about me from Plato and your head will turn to mush… Nah, gravy!  Mo’ money, Mo’Crates!  2012 Projections:  10-10/3.65/1.30/170

From Around The Web

  1. Terrence Mann says:
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    Is it OK to want Wandy and Worley?

    Is it OK to make it a point to own an Astro starter (of 3)?

  2. Wheres the Beachy? says:
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    ahem. did you forget me?

    this will be your 2010 Scherzer.

    • Kenny T says:
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      @Wheres the Beachy?, He’s in the top 40

  3. TheNewGuy says:
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    Hell-boy’s a funny case, highly touted, had a very good K rate in his rookie year then the K’s vanished last year. Kid still has a bugs-bunny changeup (love that term) so they could rebound in a big way, gotta see it first though I guess.

    I love me some Mike Minor too, great place for young arms down there. Why such the low ranking though, I think he could be one of the best guys on this list!?

  4. chata says:
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    @ Grey :

    you said this about Feliz ==> “… His walks also went through the roof. I mean, 30 walks and 54 Ks in 62 1/3 innings is terrible.”

    yet , this guy (http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/players/playerpage/585618/gio-gonzalez) walks 91 batters (and K’s 197) in 202 innings , and you rank him 17th , over-all .
    ninety-one (!) free passes in 202 innings .

    for me quoting me , check out comment #53 , here , (http://razzball.com/max-scherzer-2012-fantasy-sleeper/#comments) .

  5. The Talented Mr. Dope man says:
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    Awesome Post!!! This is the one I was waiting for.

    Buy the weigh, it may be worth mentioning that the Astros will behooving to the AL in 2013. Especially for those in “only” keeper leagues

  6. Marqo says:
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    @ Chata:

    Couldn’t agree more with you ;-)

  7. xrayxtals says:
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    Hellickson reminds me a lot of Jered Weaver. Extreme flyball pitchers notoriously beat their xFIP, especially if they play in parks that suppress HR (as both do, ~92 HR park factor for both stadiums).

    If his K/9 and BB/9 don’t rebound to what he showed in the minors and 2010, then yeah, he’s going to regress. That’s where the gamble is in my opinion.

    He’s becoming so overrated he’s underrated!

    Wins are hard to predict, but he has a great offense behind him (as well as a great defense).

    I’m thinking something like 15 W, 170 Ks, 3.60 ERA, 1.18 WHIP

    Where would that put him approximately in your rankings Grey?

  8. PublicEnemy#1 says:
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    You put together some deep, funny rants, but the Jaime Garcia blurb was on a whole new level! A gold Jew star for you, Grey!

  9. Oregon Nut Cups

    Oregon Nut Cups says:
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    My only worry about Wandy is that he just seems like a latin 33. His K/9 just keeps shrinking and its not like his control is getting better. And as we’ve learned, if you have a cool name and you’re latin in baseball, you’re probably lyin (see Carmona, Fausto).

  10. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    Press Your Luck was the shizz, before Who Wants to be a Millionaire and The Weakest Link starting showing up on every channel with ten different hosts. As far as these pitchers, hopefully I already have three or four from the top 40 and I’ll wait to grab Minor or Teheran late. Thanks for the nostalgia. On to a Press Your Luck search on youtube!

  11. The BushWacker says:
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    @Grey or anyone who might answer: in filling out at 6 man NL-only SP rotation(8 teams $300 salary cap Dynasty) does any see value in rostering Volquez, Teheran, Bud Norris as your bottom 3($25 for all 3) Or is this too much risk with little reward.

  12. MH says:
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    I tentatively agree with some of the Hellickson feelings in these comments. I think he’s more likely to be on my teams in more difficult leagues, where everyone is going to ignore him (reiterating xrayxtals “so overrated he’s underrated” sentiment) and I may feel he’s worth a gamble if he gets deep enough, while in less serious leagues he’s likely to be gone well before I’m willing to take a shot on him.

    In the minors, Hellickson never had a BB/9 over 2.75 or a K/9 below 8.17, and both those marks came in A-ball way back in 2007. Last year, his SwStrike% and F-Strike%, two pretty good portends for future strikeout rate and walk rate, respectively, were both solidly above average, as was his Contact%. Yes, he is a fly ball pitcher, but he also had an ungodly 16.2 IFFB%, tied for second in baseball with Shaun Marcum, behind only Ted Lilly. Though Marcum isn’t, Lilly and the next name on the list, Jered Weaver, are two fly ball pitchers part of the major league selection bias of guys who routinely manage high IFFB% (Lilly 14.3% career, Weaver 13.6%). Its too early to count Hellickson in this group, but this certainly could help mitigate some of the expected regressions in BABIP and HR/FB (I could see the HR/FB remaining fairly steady at ~8.5% with the BABIP climbing to the .280 range, but that may be offset by a more league averagish or slightly better strikeout and walk rates). Putting up a 14%+ IFFB really removes a lot of the downside of being a fly ball pitcher.

    I’m gonna go ahead and give Hellickson an optimistic 13-10, 3.75, 1.25, 155 which would put him in the Garcia-Cahill range, and I’d feel pretty comfortable drafting him in if he does actually fall into #5 SP range like your rankings have him here.

  13. Dirty Jersey says:
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    Did I miss out on Edwin Jackson’s funeral? Am I overvaluing the equation that is: (raw talent as prospect) + (everyone is forgetting about him) + (Dave Duncan) x (Dave Duncan) = he did what with Jaime Garcia??

    or am I overvaluing the magic hands of Dave Duncan?

  14. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
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    Dirty Jersey- first, didn’t Dave Duncan take a leave of absence? Second, Edwin is a free agent. No guarantee he’ll even be on the cards this year, and in fact it’s not very likely.

  15. Wake Up says:
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    @Dirty Jersey: Doesn’t look like he’ll be back with the Birds and it doesn’t look like he is anywhere as of yet.

  16. Wake Up says:
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    @RandomItalicizedVoice: How’d you slip in there? Your good, and indeed random.

  17. Bryan says:
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    Hellickson is a good young pitcher, still learning his craft. yes he got very lucky last year with some of his numbers. ERA is going up for sure, K’s should rise as well though. It’s stupid to project W/L but on a good team so i feel it’s safe to count on a nice win total. He’ll get 200+ innings this year and again young and from everything i’ve heard has very good makeup. Basically so much hate around the inter-web on him, makes me feel i have to run to the smell. just traded for him in my keeper league. ERA will jump, but not to 4.00+.

    3.50-3.75 ERA, 140-150 K’s, nice WHIP, + win total, well above average QS (which is a category in my league). 30-35 range pitcher in 2012.

  18. KeeblerMN says:
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    Great stuff as always: When you said “Try to avoid” Masterson I immediately thought of Yoda’s “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” much like there is no 3….. or there is no spoon (matrix).

    Regarding the , apparently there is some sort of new sarcasm font that is reversed Italics… but I think it would be best for you to invent yet another voice and name him “Random Sarcastic Voice” perhaps he could move in with “Excitement for Bernadina”

    Lastly, one team I know you’re not a fan of is the Twins. So far I think the highest ranked Twin other than Mauer *puke* has been Valencia at 16th. Hard to believe we’re past the top 60 pitchers and not one Twin who will throw half their games at the Hubert H Homerfree Retrodome (By the way, I still like Targetco as a better name!)… still, I don’t blame you, I live here and I’m not going to draft a single Twin this year… learned my lesson with Morneau last year.

  19. KeeblerMN says:
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    @KeeblerMN:
    For some reason sarcasm didn’t pop up in my comment where I said regarding the sarcasm.

  20. RTP says:
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    12team h2h 5×5 keeper league

    Can keep 2 of 3 Arod, Utley, and Teixeira…. obviously u are down on Tex and the other two make Glass Joe look durable…. who do u keep?

  21. mauledbypandas says:
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    @chata:

    I get what you are saying, but I think Grey is just biased against the Rangers pitchers because of the park.

    Feliz however did look lost a lot last year. It was infuriating to watch as a Rangers fan. He has however always had the slider as far as I remember, don’t know what Grey was talking about there. They stretched him out in ST last year and he added a cutter, which I assume they will do again this year. Maybe that messed with his mechanics.

  22. mauledbypandas says:
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    @mauledbypandas:
    I guess Fangraphs thinks Feliz just started throwing the slider, but he has always had a slider/curve. He just doesn’t throw it often.. and even less often for strikes.

    Someone with his stuff should miss a whole lot more bats though. Time for Mike Maddux to work some magic.

  23. tHe sHiT says:
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    @Grey: Good morning kind sir. Absolutely love having my morning coffee while reading your shtuff. Great job as always. Like Steve, im taking a break from alcohol, will be 3 weeks on monday. See how long i can go for. Hasnt been as tough as i thought. I decided to give up soda yesterday, that will be tougher. Anythewho, you try Pizza Buona yet?

  24. mauledbypandas says:
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    @Grey:
    Speaking of the twins…

    “ESPN.com’s Jim Bowden proposed some trades for contenders and included this one for the Rangers:
    Trade LHP Martin Perez to the Minnesota Twins for CF Denard Span

    The Twins are desperate to rebuild their rotation, and Perez should develop into a front-line starter. The Twins could then move Ben Revere to center field and put free-agent signee Josh Willingham in left.

    From the Rangers’ perspective, this would allow them to move Josh Hamilton to left field and improve their defense in center. Span also would give them a legitimate leadoff hitter and a better chance to win the World Series now than if they waited for Leonys Martin to develop.

    As an added bonus, Span is signed at a reasonable cost through 2015, which makes him far more valuable to a contender than he is to the Twins, a club that is in a bit of a rebuilding period. The Rangers are deep in rotation candidates, so Perez is expendable.”

    this sounds like the stupidest idea I have ever heard of. Span as a prototypical leadoff hitter? no thanks!

  25. Judith Preith says:
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    So if I kept Weaver, Shields, and Strasburg for very cheap in a H2H, would I regret not securing Hosmer or MadBum?

    I know pitching is deep but with this strategy, I could use the first 7 rounds at least to fetch some bats, right?

  26. Eddy says:
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    @mauledbypandas:

    Everything Jim Bowden writes is trash and he’s usually wrong on everything. And when he does try to provide “breaking news”, he doesn’t even attribute the original source.

  27. Wake Up says:
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    Are you calling the Wandwagon a clown? Or did you just back into the Wavy Gravy reference? Either way, well done.

  28. Sideshow says:
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    Danks is not even top 60? Ouch. Sox r gonna stink.

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @RTP: Arod, Tex…

    @KeeblerMN: Nice on the font…

    @tHe sHiT: Morning to you… Good luck without booze… Haven’t tried it yet, but I did try 800 Degrees which I didn’t want to like but did.

    @mauledbypandas: Yeah, makes little sense and doubt Ryan would do it.

    @Judith Preith: Probably

    @Eddy: Why he’s not working for a team.

    @Wake Up: Thanks!

  30. SwaggerJackers says:
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    If we’re already into flyers, where’s Scott Baker, McCarthy, Stauffer, etc?

    Feel free to ignore me if I missed them in another post.

  31. Wake Up says:
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    App ‘n Hashtag sounds like a good place to beat your wife…at a game of words with friends…

  32. Wake Up says:
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    Oh, and empanadas, nice. Your on fire.
    Temper your eggs and eggspectations with Holland days?

  33. Hawk says:
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    Grey…

    Jhoulys Chacin was drafted just before Jhonny Peralta in one of my leagues last year. Is that the only time in history that two guys whose name starts with Jh got drafted back to back?

    Anyway, thanks for giving me the ammunition I need to avoid Hellickson. Them’s some scary lookin’ xThis and oThat’s!

  34. Wake Up says:
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    But, I’m not touching Oswalt in Fenway, if that’s where he lands. He’s a Southern 34 and no longer runs like a deer. I see 4+ era. Even if…
    *he is who he is

  35. schlitzy says:
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    Grey: I feel you on your rant regarding not caring about teams only about players. Hell, I would draft Saadi Gaddafi if he paid the Mets to be their closer (SAGNOF snitches!). Oh, speaking of the Mets, I know you hate them and all but if you ever find yourself in NYC and want to go to Metco let me know and I’ll hook a brother up.

  36. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wake Up: Ha! Well played.

    @Hawk: Ha… No problem… Nice on the Jh’s.

    @Wake Up: Thanks for the typo.

    @schlitzy: Thanks for the offer!

  37. chata says:
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    @Bryan:

    love this phrase :

    “… makes me feel i have to run to the smell.”

    can i use it ??

  38. peter says:
    (link)

    Sweet Joe Maddon, I didn’t realize how terrible Hellickson was last year.

    I’m not surprised to see Pineda & Wainwright on Grey’s “not on my team” tier. They’d be on mine, too, but, SPOILER ALERT: Grey and I aren’t the same person! Even though I, too, wear a luchador mask and breath heavily when doing my rankings.

    I’ll be able to keep Pineda & Wainwright for $4 and $5, respectively. It’s probably safe to say that, if Grey were me, he’d do the same.

  39. royce! says:
    (link)

    Got stuck with picking songs on the jukebox at a bar last night. I didn’t want to play the same old shizz (Guns of Brixton again?), but didn’t know a lot of the track names. While browsing, the thought crossed my mind that I should just play track 3 or 4 off of any record, as if that was where an artist would place their best songs. Then I realized that I was reading the tracklists as if they were a baseball lineup.

    Stupid baseball better start soon.

  40. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @peter: Ha! I don’t wear a luchador mask, I just wear the Robin eye mask. Yeah, for those prices.

    @royce!: Insane you say that. One of my good friends wrote a Pi-type script where the lead goes mad because he realizes that all tracks 3 and 4 are the best songs on any album and it’s some kind of conspiracy.

  41. sotboy6 says:
    (link)

    Need to put a warning on these articles: Go to the bathroom before reading.

    “That’s good…For underhanded softball.” almost made me pee my pants.

    By “almost”, I mean a little bit.

  42. Bryan says:
    (link)

    @chata:

    please do. Hell-boy puts the devil back in the rays this year, top 35 SP.

  43. peter says:
    (link)

    @Grey: Gotcha, so Rudy wasn’t just being gross when he said, “when Grey and I IM, I wear the cowl.”

  44. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    @royce!: I know that you are being waggish but, I have a theory that it is track #5. If I don’t know the album, I always play track #5.

    On Teix…I heard an interview today where he said that he will be doing a lot of bunting down the 3rd baseline!

  45. bill says:
    (link)

    Actually Bowden had the Angels GM on mlb satelite and told him how he was going to get Pujols

  46. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    And speaking of music…I ran across this today and thought it was pretty interesting…http://youtu.be/d9NF2edxy-M

  47. Bombo Rivera says:
    (link)

    Off topic, but I was wondering why you wouldn’t want to go to a different format for the comments. It’s hard to follow the Q and A when we get 20 posts, followed by “yes, no, yes, ha!, it depends on league size, ha!, yup, I’d do it, etc.”

    Wouldn’t your site, and mustachioed fame, increase if people could track your advice in a different way? The nested format on some sites might be a good idea.

  48. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Bombo Rivera: I’m not so tech savvy. If someone could implement it for me, then it could work.

  49. Howard says:
    (link)

    @Grey Not a pitching related question but no ranking for EYJ? Heard there were some trade talks but not sure what to do with him in a keeper. Thanks!

  50. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Howard: He doesn’t have a job right now.

  51. bill says:
    (link)

    Edwin Jackson to the Nats. Can’t wait to see how that affects his ranking. (backward slant italics)

  52. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    @KeeblerMN:
    Not to mention Liriano last year *body shakes with rage*. He wasn’t even drafted in the 12 mock i recently did, guy could possibly bounce back in a big way, but I don’t care, no way am I touching him after how he burned me (and Grey) last year. DTM. I expect to see this K-Fed right near the end of your SP rankings Grey if at all!

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Steve: Wow, is this a real thing?

    @bill: Ha… Not terrible for his value.

  54. Westly says:
    (link)

    Grey first off love your site. Best on the net. I had an interesting trade offer that i was hoping you could help with. In 16 team dynasty 5x5H2H cat with HR, R, RBI, SB, AVG, ERA, K, WhIP, Holds, and Saves. My lineup is as follows;

    C-Wieters, LuCroy, Mesoraco
    1B- Morneau
    2B Kendrick , Jemile Weeks
    SS Andrus , Y. Escobar
    3B Reynolds
    OF A.Gordan, McCutchen, Hamilton and Kemp

    SP- Kershaw
    Waino
    Hellickson
    Garza
    Luebke
    D.Duffy
    Lyles
    RP- The Beard, Marmol, Venters, J.Benoit and Farnsworth

    I lost 1B eligibility for Alex Gordan, which leaves me with morneau at first. Blech. I just got offered Brett Lawrie for Matt Wieters. Is this a move i can make? Move Reynolds to first and have Lawrie for my 3B of the future? Are LuCroy and Mesoraco going to be decent enough to get me by? Also got offered Rizzo and Kuroda for Alex Gordon. He would be my extra OF and i’d get a good future 1B. Maybe Kuroda for insurance on Waino. What do you think? I love Wieters but it’s gonna be hard to get an elite 3B otherwise. Thanks!

  55. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Westly: Thanks for the kind words! I’d take Lawrie.

  56. @Grey: What do you think about “Player X”? I like him better than “Player Y” and can’t fathom why he wasn’t ranked in the Top “Z Position” for 2012 Fantasy Baseball. It’s also impossible for me not to ask now rather than wait a couple days to find out if he’ll come up later. BTW, love your site. Thanks.

    Oh, sorry. I don’t have that sarcastic font to clarify I was kidding, except for the love your site part. In a sick sort of way, i enjoy the clerical clarity hilarity. :)

  57. KeeblerMN says:
    (link)

    @TheNewGuy: I hear ya on Liriano *spits on the floor*! That sob cost me too… I thought $9 was a steal for keeping him last year… Guy had 201 K’s with a 3.62 era and 1.26 whip in 2010… then this year he basically forced me to drink anti-freeze until I passed out, I woke up later with a size 7 poop shoot and him urinating on my team while saying “House on fire, house on fire, put it out, put it out”. Never again Frank, never again!

  58. Steve says:
    (link)

    @Grey: It’s basically humourous, but the guy is a real-life musician. He plays quite a bit with Paul Kelly, who I’ve mentioned to you before. He’s his nephew, in fact.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb4YWJgfmQE

  59. Steve says:
    (link)

    @Grey: But I think what he’s saying that track listings are as much about art as science.

  60. royce! says:
    (link)

    @Wake Up: You know, when I was younger (read: smoked more pot), I believed it was the first song on side B of any LP. Which may often correspond with track 5. I believe one of my examples was this Tortoise song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMBTckcbUZs . Can’t remember the others.

    @Grey: Crazy! Maybe your friend should add that the character realizes it’s true for baseball lineups too! It’s all a conspiracy! The golden ratio!

    Actually, it might just be true that the 3rd or 4th song is usually best. Would be interesting.

    @Steve: Makes me glad I’m not a musician. So much stress!

  61. birrrdy! says:
    (link)

    Grey, your columns are easily the best on the web. I was on another fantasy baseball site yesterday, and the writer was making some attempt at humor. It was such a pale shadow of your prose, I felt like I could hear some nerdy guy in glasses laughing at his joke while he wrote it. Really, there isn’t much competition for you out there with fantasy baseball writers, except when perhaps Rick Reilly writes on baseball, and he doesn’t even get fantasy. Simmons is so 2003, too, so you truly stand alone IMHO.

    Quick trade question…. (10 team, 5×5, NL-only, $300 auction w/8 keepers and 1 C/1B/2B/SS/3B/IU, 2 Us, 5 OFs, 10 Ps)

    So far, I’m keeping Hanley($31), Holliday($31), Wright($26), Alonso($5), Tabata($7), Dee Gordon ($13), Hart ($16), Santana ($3) and fretting over D.Hudson($17), Bernandina($4), Mayberry($7), H.Bell ($17), Storen ($21), Stauffer ($4).

    I’ve just been offered Cliff Lee ($31) for Dee Gordon.

    Should I take it?

  62. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @centralohguy: Ha!

    @Steve: Yeah, “as much about art as science” makes sense.

    @royce!: I mentioned it to him and he said I remembered it wrong. It was songs 5 and 6, in his opinion.

    @birrrdy!: Thanks for the kind words! I’d hold…

  63. royce! says:
    (link)

    @Grey: Damn! I was just about to quit my job, go to grad school, and write my dissertation about baseball teams being like great albums! Oh well.

    I think 5 or 6 seems right, though, at least in the context of a movie premise, where disbelief is suspended.

  64. Steve says:
    (link)

    Kotchman signs with Indians…

    Nah – didn’t think so.

  65. royce! says:
    (link)

    @Steve: I feel a sleeper post coming up!

    Nah.

  66. Steve says:
    (link)

    @royce!: A good defensive option for their groundball pitching staff (it says here).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Are you getting an email from this comment?

  67. royce! says:
    (link)

    That Jackson to the Nats signing makes them a somewhat interesting team for 2012. Rotation of Strasburg, Gio, Jackson, Zimmermann, and Lannan. Not too shabby! Their offense has potential, too. NL East is likely to be fun to follow (unless you’re a Mets fan).

  68. royce! says:
    (link)

    @Steve: That’s a good point. All in on Masterson!

  69. birrrdy! says:
    (link)

    @Grey – thanks! turned down the trade, and countered with Holliday($31)/Tabata($7) for Cliff Lee($31)/Goldschmidt($15). He came back with just Holliday for Lee.

    Is that a trade I should do? Comments from the peanut gallery welcome, too…

  70. birrrdy! says:
    (link)

    meaning he turned down my offer and said Holliday for Lee would work. Can’t pry Goldschmidt out of him apparently…

  71. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @royce!: It’s never too late! Yeah, it was tongue-in-cheek, I believe.

    @birrrdy!: I’d take Lee.

  72. anarchy burger says:
    (link)

    quick keeper question
    5×5 12 teamer
    should i keep holland in round 25 or darvish in round 12????

  73. Tony says:
    (link)

    @birrrdy!: i’d take Cliff-Lee as well… Holliday has seen better days, he’s not that 30/20 threat anymore, he’s not going to get the steals, and the power might not be more than 25 hrs…

  74. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Awesomus Maximus: That’s hilarious! I literally just wrote a joke question to a Twins blogger about him for the team preview. Tell your daughter I’m worried he might not have a starting job. And worried more if he does.

  75. Robo-Choi says:
    (link)

    Yo Grey, I need to choose 4 keepers in a $260 league. We start 9 hitters and 9 pitchers (either 6SP/3RP or 7SP/2RP). What says the ‘pert?

    J. Reyes $26
    B. Lawrie $10
    A. McCutchen $28
    M. Morse $10
    A. Jones $8
    B. Beachy $10
    D. Hudson $10
    H. Kiroda $3
    S. Marcum $8

    Leaning Reyes, Lawrie, Hudson for the first three. Thanks kid.

  76. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @Robo-Choi: Reyes, Lawrie, Hudson, Jones…

  77. ThE sHiT says:
    (link)

    @Grey: Did you see Funstons top 50 rankings? Very laughable. I love that those guys over there are idiots, makes getting the guys im targeting per your rankings in the draft easier.

  78. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
    (link)

    @Grey: I’ll break it to her gently… she’s hoping for that Plouffe breakout in a big way.

    Glad to read you’re doing those fan blog questionnaires again; really enjoyed them last year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Testing out the new comments.

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        Wow – a major capability deployment. Nice!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          You got an email on that comment I made or the one to Chata?

  79. Grey

    Grey says:
    (link)

    @ThE sHiT: Nah, haven’t seen it yet.

    @Awesomus Maximus: Yeah, slow moving on them, but they start on Saturday with the Rays.

  80. chata says:
    (link)

    @Bombo Rivera:

    that’s always been the bane of this site , if not it’s only weakness ‘
    particularly when he gets bombarded by questions .

    if you could help Grey set that up , we’d all be indebted .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Well, chata, if that’s how you feel, try that.

      • chata says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        holy crap !
        and , yippee .

        who’s responsible for this ?
        i might owe someone a(n) euro .

  81. Steve says:
    (link)

    Grey – got emails from both comments. But there’s no ‘Reply’ link displaying under your most recent comment. If that makes sense.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Steve, The ‘Reply’ is now on the left. Is it not there for you?

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Grey, No.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @Steve, Then how are you replying. I’m confused.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            @Grey, Testing something…

            • Steve says:
              (link)

              @Grey, All the comments look to have a Reply link, if that’s what you’re testing…

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                @Steve, I was testing my mustachioed picture. I see it now. I had to clear my cache.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  @Grey, Also, was testing on the iPhone…

                  • Steve says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey, I’ll take a look on my Android and the BlackBerry as well.

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Steve, Android.

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Steve, BlackBerry via Opera Mini.

                • Steve says:
                  (link)

                  @Grey, That is the most important thing, I suppose.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    @Steve, Sweet, thanks for checking those.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Testing something… Chata, are you getting this comment email?

                    • chata says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey,

                      yeah .
                      you and steve testing your toys .

                      android ?
                      is there a robot/alien among us ?

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, And here I am on the iPad.

  82. chata says:
    (link)

    @Grey:

    please , please , PLEASE ,
    don’t talk about my sleeper , tomorrow .

    once you bring him to light , others , who call themselves experts ,
    will follow .
    and then , the “jig will be up” .

    it’s not just the nose-y kiwis that i’m worried about ,
    but it’s all of those other yahoos out there (figuratively , and literally) .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @chata, No comment on the new comments?

      • chata says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        put it under Steve’s link … (i think)

        • chata says:
          (link)

          @chata,
          wilsonian is going to shizz his pants ,
          if/when he shows up .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @chata, So you see a Replay button under the name?

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            @Grey, “Reply”

      • chata says:
        (link)

        @Grey,

        what amazes me is how quickly this all came about .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @chata, You’re welcome.

  83. boomer19 says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey…nice comment boxes. High tech stuff. I just got offered Jay Bruce for my Ryan Braun in a 5×5 roto keeper league(probably because there are rumors swirling that Braun may get off). Do you think it is worth pulling the trigger?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @boomer19, Not worth it…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @royce!, It’s like a gay LSD trip, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      • royce! says:
        (link)

        @Grey, I love it so much, I must be gay. Sorry, honey! The Marlins HR celebration thingy convinced me to have sex with men! And root for the Marlins!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @royce!, Have sex with Stanton for me. No comment on the new comments?

          • royce! says:
            (link)

            @Grey, Just trying to get used to it. New things scare me.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              @royce!, Reminds me of how you have to tell an old person — no, it’s a good surprise.

              • royce! says:
                (link)

                @Grey, Well that reminds me that I am an old person!

                Seriously, though. It seems that this new format will work out. Have to wait and see how it looks when you are responding to a bunch of comments at once.

                • Steve says:
                  (link)

                  @royce!, Indeed. Big in the day (like, earlier today) when Grey responded to the first 30-ish comments of the day, assuming I was subscribed to getting email notifications, I’d get all Grey’s replies in one email.

                  Now I’d imagine I’ll get separate replies for each email.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    @Steve, I’m not sure because I turned off the old reply plug-in but you might still be subscribed to that… So you might be subscribed twice to the same post if that makes sense… Not sure though until tomorrow…

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Yeah – that does make sense. Now that you mention it, I’ll go and check my subscriptions. Stand by…

                    • Steve says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, OK. Just unsubscribed from ALL posts so will now re-subscribe to this one to see what happens. I’ll subscribe to tomorrow’s one too.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      @Steve, Okay, cool…

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  @royce!, Yeah, and if I have to submit for every comment… Not sure if it’s not more confusing, but it might take getting used to…

        • Steve says:
          (link)

          @royce!, You shold look up ‘root’ in the Urban Dictionary.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            @Steve, Hey, did you get a comment when Royce made a comment?

            • Steve says:
              (link)

              @Grey, You mean an email? Yes, yes I did.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                @Steve, Yup, that’s what I meant. Sweet…

          • royce! says:
            (link)

            @Steve, That was totally what I meant. I am very well versed in kiwi slang. I’m gonna give the Marlins my cheerio!

            • Steve says:
              (link)

              @royce!, I never say cheerio.

              • royce! says:
                (link)

                @Steve, Good, it’s an awfully odd word for cocktail wiener. Seems like the reverse of a wiener.

              • Steve says:
                (link)

                @Steve, Actually that’s not quite true. I may have used it in the context of food to be served at a kid’s birthday party.

                You might do well to familiarise yourself with it ;-)

                • royce! says:
                  (link)

                  @Steve, Nah. What religion is it that doesn’t celebrate birthdays? Whatever it is, we’re gonna join.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    @royce!, Jenovah’s Witnesses…

                    • royce! says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey, Aw, man! That would require walking around during weekends. I guess the kid will have birthday parties.

  84. SwaggerJackers says:
    (link)

    Hamilton alcohol relapse. Time to drop him in the rankings.

    • Awesomus Maximus

      Awesomus Maximus says:
      (link)

      @SwaggerJackers, I hope he and Swiggy Cabrera get caught drinking all season long and have career years. Bring back the old days when fat ball players smoked cigarettes, ate dirty water dogs, and drank beer in the dugout during the game!

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Awesomus Maximus, Sounds like the 2011 Boston Red Sox.

        • Awesomus Maximus

          Awesomus Maximus says:
          (link)

          @Steve, Pssh… those nancy-boys tried to keep it hidden. The Babe chased a dog with some suds in front of a packed house, and they had them cheering as he farted around the bases. That’s a real man!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        @Awesomus Maximus, Ha! Yes, and do some coke while you guys are at it!

      • bill says:
        (link)

        @Awesomus Maximus, I have both Hamilton and Miggy in my keeper league and plan on moving forward with them. ‘course, I had the Straw man and Doc back in the day, too.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @SwaggerJackers, Wow, for reals?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          @Steve, Geez… Well, it’s still more than 28 days from opening day…

          • chata says:
            (link)

            @Grey,
            that hamilton news sucks .

            btw … am not getting any e-mails .
            not sure i want them !!?

            remember …. i don’t even have a cell phone .

            cells phones are for chatty women , and guys who spend SO much
            on phone service , that they can only afford cars that break down on the side of the road , apparently ,
            as that is the justification for owning one in the 1st place .

            “that is so 42 seconds ago” .
            bite me .

  85. Man, I wondered what was going on when I saw this post had 139 comments; though it only numbers the roots in this view. 91 ATM. Good stuff.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @centralohguy, Thanks!

    • chata says:
      (link)

      @centralohguy,

      when wilsonian gets here , he’s going to blow these numbers out of the water .

      like the guy in my keeper league , who made 292 moves the 1st year ,
      and followed it up with 328 moves the next year .

  86. Steve says:
    (link)

    You know you’re deep into a draft when the best SS left is Chad Pennington.

  87. mic says:
    (link)

    Razzball is now official like a referee whistle…

  88. john says:
    (link)

    Im curious doesnt seem like your too high on this group or as you say not willing to stick neck out on some but you said you would have about 3 pitchers by now so where do you get the rest,lol. just wondering who your targeting in this group and beyond. thanks and great work.

  89. Larkin Cunningham says:
    (link)

    I think Pineda is the most overrated pitcher in fantasy this season so I appreciate you having him ranked so low. While I do think he will win somewhere in between 16 and 20 games I also expecting an ERA upwards of 4.5… i’m imagining a season similar to what Phil Hughes did in 2010. Fair comparison?

Comments are closed.